I can clearly NOT choose the wine in front of YOU.
Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right… and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’ve made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: Australia.
Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder’s origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’re just stalling now.
Vizzini: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? You’ve beaten my giant, which means you’re exceptionally strong, so you could’ve put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in Black: You’re trying to trick me into giving away something. It won’t work.
Vizzini: It has worked! You’ve given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Man in Black: Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose – What in the world can that be?
[Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. The Mad in Black looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets]
Man in Black: What? Where? I don’t see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let’s drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.
[Vizzini and the Man in Black drink ]
Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That’s what’s so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia” – but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
[Vizzini stops suddenly,his smile frozen on his face and falls down dead]
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
Trying to guess at Matt’s next move.
There are a lot of threads to the web of this season, and you could run this conjecture conversation on any one of them (and certainly we have, here at the Basket), but here’s the one that’s particularly twisting me up:
I think Miss Farrell is batshit crazy first she seems like a free spirit that isn’t the subject of the maypole scene then she is this really caring teacher but we’re all a little trepidatious to even see her back onscreen but okay she’s sweet and forward thinking but then she drunk dials Don? really? and then there’s the eclipse which was the turning point for me where she in my opinion entirely invented that Don was hitting on her and btw spoke aloud of the subject in front of the children both of which took me back to the schoolroom scene and had me rethink her boundaries and proclivity towards oversharing and things inched forward I was certain that she was batshit crazy but possibly in the back of my mind I’m thinking Matt doesn’t want us to know yet her craziness will be a reveal but THEN I’m thinking wait what if Matt is actually bummed that viewers are getting how crazy she is earlier than he’d wanted us to when they are starting their affair no but wait for it because NOW I’m thinking waaaaitaminute Matt knows we’re smart enough to pick up on it all so maybe she’s not that crazy or if she is he won’t even reveal it because we keep waiting for the other shoe to drop but maybe the damn shoe is that nothing ever comes of the crazy at least not until next season when she is Mrs. Don Draper OHMYGOD THAT COULD BE THE SHOE but would Matt really go that far I mean I don’t think there is a far Matt wouldn’t go but really? is that the direction this is taking? or is it just the crazy train.
[breath]
No seriously just hand me the iocane. I am never gonna survive this.
Three episodes to go, ‘cases.
