Peggy Olson: Wow Freddie, that’s a home run.
Fred Rumsen: There’s a nice way to say that, and there’s the way you just said it.
Peggy Olson: You really put the free in freelancer, don’t you?
Megan Draper: I feel like I just ate a bag of butterflies.
Stan Rizzo: None of this seems related to coffee.
Pete Campbell: The city’s flat and ugly and the air is brown, but I love the vibrations.
Roger Sterling: Sweetheart, being summoned makes me nervous.
Margaret Hargrove: When all is said and done, I forgive you.
Roger Sterling: That’s beautiful to hear. Because I forgive you too.
Margaret: No, Daddy. I forgive you.
Roger: And I forgive you.
Margaret: All of your transgressions, abandoning mother, making me ask for money, your intermittent interest in Ellery. I don’t even care that you smell like incense. Or have any thoughts about your current quote state of affairs. No, I simply forgive you.
Roger:You want me to say I’m sorry? Because I don’t agree with all that.
Lee Cabot: This is nice, I usually sleep alone.
Don Draper (about Lee’s late husband): What happened to him?
Lee Cabot: He was thirsty. He died of thirst.
Don Draper (about Megan):She knows I’m a terrible husband.
Don Draper: I keep wondering: Have I broken the vessel?
Lou Avery: I don’t know, Peggy. I guess I’m immune to your charms.
Stan Rizzo: You’re telling your boss you think he’s stupid.
Peggy Olson: Well, I’m tired of fighting for everything to be better. You’re all a bunch of hacks who are perfectly happy with shit. Nobody cares about anything. No one wants things to be better? I got it. I’ll just stand out here, all by myself.
Joan Harris: I took you seriously but you didn’t take me seriously.
Fred Rumsen: You know I’ve been there. You don’t want to be damaged goods.
Michael Ginsberg: She has plans. Look at her calendar: ‘February 14, masturbate gloomily.’
Don Draper (to Jim Hobart): I’m just looking for love.
Stan Rizzo: Look at you, every inch a girl.
Peggy Olson: Is this some kind of joke? Just tell me now, because I don’t want to have to fire you later.
Bert Cooper: Is this a partners meeting, or the most tedious wireless program I’ve ever heard?
Jim Cutler: Don who? our collective ex wife who still receives alimony?
Don Draper: Sally, what am I supposed to say?
Sally Draper: Just tell the truth.
Pete Campbell: Sometimes I think maybe I died, and I’m in some kind of—I don’t know if it’s heaven, or hell, or limbo—but I don’t seem to exist. No one feels my existence.
Don Draper: I didn’t behave well. I said the wrong things to the wrong people, at the wrong time.
Sally Draper: I’m so many people.
Jim Cutler (to Roger Sterling): I’d hate to think of you as an adversary, I’d really hate that.
Sally Draper: Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.
Megan Draper: What happened? Did you get fired?
Jim Cutler: You have stiff competition, but I believe you to be the most dishonest man I have ever worked with.
Roger Sterling: The man who talked to Hershey, I’ve seen that man wandering the streets with a sandwich board saying “The end is near.”
Don Draper: I just thought that if you found out what happened, you wouldn’t look at me in the same way.
Megan Draper: I can’t believe after all this time you don’t know me.
Don: I know how I want you to see me.
Michael Ginsberg: Maybe he finished drying out.
Roger Sterling: Our creative is invisible right now!
Bobby Draper: I wish it was yesterday.
Peggy Olson: Well, I can’t say that we miss you.
Don Draper: Thank you, Peggy.
Betty Francis: It was a perfect day and he ruined it.
Henry Francis: How is that possible, Betty?
Betty: Do you think I’m a good mother?
Henry: Of course.
Betty: Then why don’t they love me?
Roger Sterling: Well, we’re getting a computer. It’s going to do lots of magical things, like make Harry Crane seem important.
Michael Ginsberg: They’re trying to erase us, but they can’t erase this couch!
Harry Crane: Look, I’m sorry you lost your lunch room, it’s not symbolic.
Don Draper: No it’s quite literal.
Lloyd Hawley: The IBM 360 can count more stars in a day than we can in a lifetime.
Don Draper: But What man laid on his back and thought about a number?
Roger Sterling: You know I haven’t seen her in a while, because the last time I did she was so cruel. And so serene.
Bert Cooper: Why are you here?
Don Draper: Because I started this agency!
Bert: Along with a dead man, whose office you now inhabit.
Mona Sterling: These people are lost and on drugs and they have venereal diseases.
Margaret “Marigold” Hargrove: I’m sorry you had nothing to live for.
Mona Sterling: I did. I had you. And I was grateful.
Marigold: I’m grateful. I don’t have to lock myself in a bathroom with a pint of gin every day.
Mona Sterling: I think she was brainwashed, but there’s nothing to wash.
Freddy Rumsen (about a cup of coffee): It’s as black and strong as Jack Johnson.
Freddy Rumsen: I mean, are you just going to kill yourself? Give them what they want? Or go in your bedroom, get in uniform, fix your bayonet, and hit the parade? Do the work, Don.
Mathis: Don’s still part of the faculty.
Lou Avery: You know who had a ridiculous dream and people laughed at him?
Stan Rizzo: You?
Lou Avery: You know what? You’re a bunch of flag burning snots. you’ve got a thing to learn about patriotism and loyalty. The very fabric of Scout’s Honor’s a joke to you.
Megan Draper: I’m going to give you—would a thousand dollars get you far enough?
Stephanie Horton: That’s very generous.
Megan: This comes with no strings.
Henry Francis: Leave the thinking to me!
Sally Draper: It’s a nose job, not an abortion.
Michael Ginsberg: That machine makes men do unnatural things.
Amy: What a merry band of players we are.
Sally Draper: You want to run away?
Bobby Draper: I have a stomach ache all the time.
Michael Ginsberg: There’s this pressure in my head, like there’s a hydrogen bomb that’s going to go off. And then I realize, it’s that hum in the office. it’s getting to me. I caught myself looking at Stan’s shoulders and getting, you know, excited.
Peggy Olson: Really?
Michael: That’s the computer’s plan, turn us all homo. Peggy, we gotta reproduce. If there was a way to do it without having sex, I’d do it.
Amy: You know what would make you feel better? Drugs.
Betty Francis: I’m tired of everyone telling me to shut up. I’m not stupid. I speak Italian.
Henry Francis: I’m sorry I embarrassed you.
Betty: You’re sorry you forgot to inform me what I’m supposed to think. Guess what? I think all by myself!
Bonnie Whiteside: I don’t know where this is going, but I don’t want it to fail on account of delay.
Jim Hobart: I know you folks want to be just like McCann when you grow up.
Roger Sterling: When we grow up we’re going to kill you and marry your wife.
Roger Sterling: The New York Athletic Club frowns on people making advances in their steam room.
Jim Hobart (about Burger Chef): It’s run by morons.
Roger Sterling: A lot of companies succeed that way. But look who I’m talking to.
Pete Campbell: Don will give authority, you will give emotion.
Peggy Olson: I have authority, Don has emotion.
Bob Benson: I’d love to see you Sunday, unless you’ve made plans with some married guy.
Joan Harris: I am all yours, but if you want to see Kevin, you’re going to have to see my mother.
Bob: I want to see everyone.
Police officer: He tried to fellate an undercover officer.
Bob Benson (to Bill Hartley): I am not of your stripe.
Bill Hartley: How did you live in this city? So much temptation.
Don Draper: I’m always working Peggy, so are you.
Bonnie Whiteside: I don’t like you in New York.
Pete Campbell: Then you don’t like me.
Bonnie: You can’t fuck your way out of this.
Bob Benson (giving Kevin Harris an Erector Set): America needs engineers.
Gail Holloway: The Jews close everything on Saturday.
Peggy Olson: Did you park your white horse outside? Spare me the suspense and tell me what your save-the-day plan is.
Don Draper: I don’t have anything yet.
Don Draper: I want you to feel good about what you’re doing, but you’ll never know. That’s just the job.
Peggy Olson: What’s the job?
Don: Living in the not knowing.
Peggy Olson: You really want to help me? Show me how you think. Do it out loud.
Don Draper: you can’t tell people what they want, it has to be what you want.
Joan Harris: Bob, you shouldn’t be with a woman.
Bob Benson: Is this what you want, to be near 40 in a two bedroom apartment with a mother and a little boy? I know I am flawed, but I am offering you more than anyone else ever will.
Joan Harris: No, you’re not, Bob, because I want love. And I’d rather die hoping that happens than make some arrangement. And you should too.
Peggy Olson: Does this family exist anymore? Are there people who eat dinner and smile at each other instead of watching TV?
Peggy Olson: What the hell do I know about being a mom? I just turned thirty, Don.
Don Draper: I worry about a lot of things, but I don’t worry about you.
Peggy Olson: What do you have to worry about?
Don: That I never did anything and that I don’t have anyone.
Peggy Olson: What if there was a place where you could go, and there was no TV, and you could break bread, and whoever you were sitting with was family?
Peggy Olson: Every table here is the family table.
Don Draper: She’s doing it the way she wants to do it, you want it right or not?
Bert Cooper: Whoever is in control is in charge.
Bert Cooper: No man has ever come back from leave, even Napoleon.
Pete Campbell: Marriage is a racket.
Roger Sterling: I should have realized it was the end, every time an old man starts talking about Napoleon you know they’re going to die.
Peggy Olson: I have to talk to people who just touched the face of God about hamburgers!
Don Draper: Cooper still dead?
Peggy Olson: I’d never recommend imitation as a strategy. You’ll be second, which is very far from first.
Cynthia Cosgrove: You gave them your eye, don’t give them the rest of your life.
Joan Harris: I want to burn this place down.
Peggy Olson: I know, they were awful, but at least we got a yes.
Peggy Olson:You know what, you’re filthy rich, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
Pete Campbell: You know, I didn’t really get millions of dollars. I mean, eventually, but stepped out in smaller increments to stay under that top tax threshold. I might have to buy an apartment building to hold onto any of it, and then I’ve got to be a landlord.
Pete Campbell: Do you know how great you’re going to look on a book jacket?
Ken Cosgrove: I’ve thought about it.
Pete Campbell: I thought I was really changing my life when I went out to California. Of course, now it sort of feels like a dream, but at the time it felt so real.
Stevie: So I can either be a jerk and send it back or eat it and look weak.
Barbara Zax (neé Menken): I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re looking for here.
Don Draper: I guess I just wanted to find out what was happening in her life.
Barbara: She lived the life she wanted to live. She had everything.
Peggy Olson: I thought you were a fling, but now I think maybe you’re more. I don’t want to sleep with you the night we first met.
Stevie: that’s so old-fashioned.
Peggy: I’ve tried new-fashioned.
Don Draper: I had this dream about a woman that I once knew, and I found out the next day she had just died.
Di: Is that who you think I am?
Don: No. I don’t think so.
Di: Well, I want you to think really carefully about when you had that dream, because when people die everything gets mixed up.
Don: I don’t know. Maybe.
Di: Maybe you dreamed about her all the time.
Di: When someone dies, you just want to make sense out of it, but you can’t.
Don Draper: I’m vain.
Don Draper: It’s 3 in the morning. You know why you’re here. Do you want a drink or not?
Don Draper:You smell incredible. What is that?
Diana: I lied to you.
Don Draper: Already?
Diana: You should go.
Don Draper: It’s my house.
Stan Rizzo: I try to treat it like art even though it’s selling something.
Pima Ryan: All art is selling something.
Stan Rizzo: I apologize that the models have so many teeth, I know you’re not used to that.
Marie-France: We’ll have a contest, we’ll see if we can get drunker than Mama.
Don Draper: I think if I were you this would bother me, and it shouldn’t, because it’s almost over.
Megan Draper: I’m not like you! I don’t spend my whole life feeling ashamed.
Pete Campbell: They want to punish you. And then you get mad and you want to punish them, but you know it’s your fault.
Pete Campbell: Jiminy Christmas, you think you’re going to begin your life over and do it right. But what if you never get past the beginning again?
Marie Calvet (to Roger Sterling): Every time you get what you want you run away!
Marie Calvet (to Roger Sterling): Please, take advantage of me.
Harry Crane: I can’t believe Don threw you away! He’s not a loyal person, but I am.
Peggy Olson: Pima’s business turns out to be more advertising than art.
Don Draper: Look at this dump, I know you think you deserve this, I’ve done it.
Richard Burghoff: Have you ever been married?
Joan Harris: Yes.
Richard: Boy, did he blow it.
Joan: He did!
Richard Burghoff: So you’re just an executive on a trip out of town.
Joan Harris: I’ll send you flowers.
Sally Draper: It’s twelve states in 12 days. They can’t stop everywhere.
Betty Francis: Well when I did the trip, it was six states.
Sally: Weren’t they still called colonies?
Glen Bishop: What about a bunch of Negro kids dying while we sit at home getting stoned? It’s immoral.
Don Draper: Do you ever feel like there’s less to actually do but more to think about?
Don Draper: Bigger accounts? That’s your biggest desire?
Don Draper: Four score and seven years ago. We know where we’ve been, where we are, let’s assume that it’s good, but it’s going to get better, it’s supposed to get better.
Melanie: This place reeks of failure. It is an $85,000 fixer upper!
Richard Burghoff: This is not how I saw things, I had a plan which is no plans.
Peggy Olson: This is supposed to be about my job, not the meaning of life.
Don Draper: So you think those things are unrelated?
Peggy Olson: What else is there?
Don Draper: That’s what I’m asking.
Peggy Olson: Why don’t you just write down all of your dreams so I can shit on them?
John Mathis: You don’t have any character, you’re just handsome. Stop kidding yourself.
Glen Bishop: This was going to be the good thing that came out of all this, this is all I thought about.
Don Draper: Hey! I’m your father! And you may not want to listen to this but you are like your mother and me. You’re going to find that out. You’re a very beautiful girl. It’s up to you to be more than that.
Peggy Olson: They all have their own toy. If we want enthusiasm we should just have one toy.
Stan Rizzo: Like a battle royale, just throw it in there, last kid standing gets the gig.
Peggy: It would work.
Stan: You hate kids.
Roger Sterling: After all that, Jim Cutler wins. All that cash and no McCann. I hate that guy.
Pete Campbell: I’ve never worked anywhere else.
Lou Avery: Enjoy the rest of your miserable life!
Roger Sterling: McCann fired Ken, and I mean fired him out of a cannon. He ain’t going near that place.
Don Draper: How much is that?
Pete Campbell: Seven, but Ken doesn’t like us either.
Roger: But he loves feeling the tip of your nose in the seat of his pants. I’ll take care of Ken.
Pete Campbell: You think we can secure 3 accounts in 24 hours.
Don Draper: We’ve done it before.
Headhunter (Gerald Brady): Word always gets out and McCann is vindictive.
Roger Sterling: Boldness is always rewarded.
Don Draper: How do I describe California in a way that doesn’t make them jealous?
Ted Chaough: Tell them my ex-wife lives there.
Pete Campbell: The king ordered it!
Bruce MacDonald: Another sucker punch from the Campbells! Coward!
Trudy Campbell: You never take no for an answer!
Jim Hobart: You are dying and going to advertising heaven.
Jim Hobart: Stop struggling, you won.
Roger Sterling: I’d like to make a toast to Lou Avery. The Japs are going to eat him alive.
Joan Harris: What a disaster.
Pete Campbell: Come on Joan, I need you to be the voice of the bright side.
Joan: Hobart listed off accounts for everyone but me.
Peggy Olson: I don’t hate kids.
Stan Rizzo: I had a mother and she wasn’t great, and I don’t know that she wanted me, so I understand something.
Peggy Olson: But you don’t understand your mother!
Stan: Well maybe I don’t want to!
Peggy: Maybe she was very young, and followed her heart and got in trouble. And no one should have to make a mistake, just like a man does, and not be able to move on. She should be able to live the rest of her life, just like a man does.
Stan: You’re right.
Peggy: I know, maybe you’d do what you thought was the best thing.
Stan: What did you do?
Peggy: I’m, I’m here, and…
Peggy: He’s with a family somewhere. I don’t know, but it’s not because I don’t care. I don’t know because you’re not supposed to know, or you can’t go on with your life.
Stan: Sorry. I didn’t know that.
Don Draper: What’s in a name?
Roger Sterling: Every copywriter thinks of Shakespeare.
Don: It’s something to aspire to.
Stan Rizzo: I’m so dumb I believe you.
Don Draper: Hold on! This is the beginning of something, not the end.
Meredith: Jim Hobart’s back from vacation. No napping.
Harry Crane: I’m on 24 and you’re on 26, but I’ll be up there all the time, there’s an executive dining room.
Roger Sterling: You know, I once rode on a bus to camp sitting next to a guy like you? We’re not going to be bunkmates, Crane. I’ll make them build another floor if I have to.
Karen Schmidt: If it’s in it, near it, or makes you think about it, we’re on it.
Jim Hobart: When I want something, I get it, and I’ve been trying to get you for ten years. You’re my white whale, Don.
Jim Hobart: Have you said it yet?
Don Draper: What?
Hobart: Have you introduced yourself?
Don: I’m Don Draper from McCann-Erickson.
Dennis: I’m sorry, who told you you got to get pissed off?
Joan Harris: All I ask is that you please read the brief before our next call.
Dennis: You know what? Do it yourself. I thought you were going to be fun.
Ferg Donnelly: We can’t lose those accounts, what would you do around here?
Betty Francis: She comes and goes as she pleases. We can’t get mad at her for being independent. It’s normal.
Don Draper: Is that what Freud says?
Betty: So far I haven’t come across anyone normal.
Don Draper: I’ll let you get back to your studies.
Betty Francis: I’ve always wanted to do this.
Don: Knock ‘em dead, Birdie.
“Bert Cooper”: You like to play the stranger.
Don Draper: Remember On the Road?
“Bert”: I’ve never read that book, you know that
Don: I’m riding the rails.
“Bert”: Whither goest thou, America, with thy shiny car in the night?
Roger Sterling: Oh, Christ! I have a heart condition, you know!
Peggy Olson: Believe it or not, I’m not scary. Organ music is scary.
Roger Sterling: Who’s Roberta?
Peggy Olson: I don’t know.
Roger: Ooh, [laughs] Roberta!
Peggy: We had our drink. You clearly don’t need help, you need an audience.
Peggy Olson: You know I need to make men feel at ease.
Roger Sterling: Who told you that?
Cliff Baur: I lost my daughter to God and my wife to the Devil. I lost everything.
Pete Campbell: Don’t be coy. You’re helping them replace Don, aren’t you?
Duck Phillips: I’ve done it before.
Don Draper (to Sally): You have no idea about money.
Pete Campbell: I have 4 years left on my contract with McCann, and a million dollars contingent on my presence.
Duck Phillips: Aha, so now we know there’s a price.
Andy: How’d you get rich?
Don Draper: I was in the advertising business.
Sharon: You’re the quick brown fox. Did you learn to type in the Army?
Don Draper: No, night school.
Pete Campbell: Trudy, you understand my business. No one else ever really has.
Trudy Campbell: You know, I’m jealous of your ability to be sentimental about the past. I’m not able to do that, I remember things as they were.
Henry Francis: It’s okay for you to cry honey. [weeps] Jesus what am I going to do?
Pete Campbell: How do you know when something’s really an opportunity?
Pete Campbell: Your wife knows. I’m not asking you to imagine it, I’m telling you, she knows. And how do you feel now that you know that?
Bud Campbell: Judy’s always loved that I’m attractive to other women, it’s part of what she likes about me. I’m just supposed to turn that off?
Pete: You’re not supposed to act on it.
Bud: But I always have. That’s the way we are.
Pete: But why? Always looking for something better, always looking for something else.
Bud: Because Dad was like that.
Pete: He really was, wasn’t he? You know once at the Polo Grounds, some jeweler thanked him profusely for buying a diamond necklace. Dad got very cross and called off the sale right in front of me. He kept muttering how the man was “indiscreet.” I looked it up.
Bud: I didn’t need any detective work, I just saw the way women looked at him.[Pete nods] You really think she knows?
Pete: I think it feels good and then it doesn’t.
Pete Campbell: You stupid wino, you’re going to destroy everything!
Duck Phillips: Who’s going to win the World Series this year?
Pete: I don’t know.
Duck: You are! Because you are charmed, my friend.
Pete: Good night, Duck.
Duck: I’ve been there. It doesn’t last long.
Don Draper: I killed my CO. We were under fire, and fuel was everywhere, and I dropped my lighter, and I blew him apart, and I got to go home.
Vet: That is the name of the game.
Sally Draper: He doesn’t know you won’t get treatment because you love the tragedy.
Betty Francis: Sally, I’ve learned to believe people when they tell you it’s over. They don’t want to say it, so it’s usually the truth.
Betty Francis: I watched my mother die, I won’t do that to you.
Betty Francis: It’s been a gift to me, to know when to move on.
Trudy Campbell: We both know things can’t be undone.
Pete Campbell: Says who?
Pete Campbell: We’re not even through half of our lives and even if we are, we’re entitled to more.
Trudy Campbell: Of what?
Pete: Then we’re entitled to start over. I want to start over. And I know I can. I’m not so dumb anymore. I’m not ignoring the fact that I could actually lose your love.
Trudy: You never lost it. But I will never allow you to hurt me again.
Pete: I love you too. I always have. I’ve never loved anyone else. Never.
Trudy Campbell: How will I explain this to Tammy?
Pete Campbell: Tell her, her birthday wish came true.
Don Draper: You think this town is bad now, wait until you can never come back.
Meredith: Well I hope he’s in a better place.
Roger Sterling: He’s not dead, stop saying that.
Meredith: There are a lot of better places than here.
Joan Harris (about cocaine): Ooh, that’s fast. I feel like someone just gave me some very good news.
Richard Burghoff: I want you to let yourself have a future with me.
Joan Harris: Do you want to get married?
Richard: Sure, if you do. But it seems to me your life is undeveloped property. You can turn it into anything you want. It’s got a hell of a view.
Joan: Do we have to get married?
Richard: Hell, no!
Joan: I want you so much right now
Pete Campbell (to Peggy): Someday people are going to brag that they worked with you.
Sally Draper: I’m not supposed to tell you.
Don Draper: What?
Sally: Mom’s dying.
Don: Look you’re mother’s a hypochondriac. Don’t go off the deep end.
Sally: Dad, listen to me. She has lung cancer. The doctors gave her six months to live.
Sally Draper: I’m not being dramatic, now please take me seriously.
Betty Francis: Please don’t let your pride interfere with my wishes.
Betty Francis: I want to keep things as normal as possible and you not being here is part of that.
Don Draper: Birdie. (crying)
Betty: I know. (crying)
Ken Cosgrove: I assume you held onto your Rolodex when you retired.
Joan Harris: Can I taste the wine first?
Joan Harris: How’s Eddie?
Ken Cosgrove: He’s a little weird, actually, I think there might be something wrong with him.
Roger Sterling: Yell at me slower or in English.
Bobby Draper: Henry’s still at work, she’s lying down, that’s all she can do. I don’t know what she thinks I think, but I heard everything before they stopped fighting.
Sally Draper: I don’t know how long she has, but I’m not going to Madrid anymore.
Joan Harris: Greg had twins with some nurse. As far as he’s concerned, Kevin never happened.
Roger Sterling: So he knows?
Joan: No, he’s just a terrible person.
Joan Harris: Roger, this is an expensive way to mark your territory.
Joan Harris: That’s the tip of the iceberg, Peggy.
Peggy Olson: I never know if that’s good or bad.
Don Draper: You weren’t raised with Jesus. You don’t know what happens to people when they believe in things.
Don Draper: I just know how people work. You could put this behind you. It’ll get easier as you move forward.
Stephanie: Oh, Dick. I don’t think you’re right about that.
Richard Burghoff: When something’s wrong, it’s always wrong.
Don Draper: People just come and go, and no one says goodbye.
Hippie: I’m sorry, but people are free to come and go as they please.
Peggy Olson: Look I know you get sick of things and run, but you can come home.
Don Draper: Where?
Peggy: Mccann will take you back in a second, apparently it’s happened before. Don’t you want to work on Coke?
Don: I can’t, I can’t get out of here.
Peggy: Don. Come home.
Don Draper: I messed everything up. I’m not the man you think I am.
Peggy Olson: Don. Listen to me. What did you ever do that was so bad?
Don: I broke all my vows. I scandalized my child. I took another man’s name and made nothing of it.
Peggy: That’s not true! (crying)
Don: I only called because I realized I never said goodbye to you.
Leonard: My name’s Leonard, and I don’t know if there’s anything that complicated about me, which is why I should be happier I guess.
Leonard: I had a dream I was on a, on a shelf in the refrigerator. Someone closes the door and the light goes off, and I know everyone’s out there eating. And then they open the door and you see them smiling and then the door closes again, the light goes off.