Roger Sterling: A wooden leg. They’re so cheap they can’t even afford a whole reporter.
Bert Cooper: I wanted an office downtown. We overspent. We could have got a lot more for our money.
Don Draper: And we could have had a conference table.
Cooper: Atherton thought the lack of a conference table was deliberate. He felt a circle of chairs demands a conversation.
Don: About why there is no table.
Roger Sterling: See her this weekend. You hit it off, come Turkey Day, maybe you can stuff her.
Peter Campbell: I’ve been assured that you ladies can look for your names, and perhaps your picture, in Monday’s Daily News.
Gladys: what section?
Peter: It’s the Daily News. It’s one big section.
Harry Crane: I had a lot of tzuris with Lucy and Desi.
Roger Sterling: This is a missed opportunity. You turned all the sizzle from Glo-Coat into a wet fart. Plus you sound like a prick.
Don Draper: I learned a valuable lesson. Stay away from one-legged reporters.
Peggy Olson: Slogan’s nothing when you have a good idea.
Harry Crane: I wish we really had a second floor so I could jump off it.
Bobby Draper: I love sweet potatoes.
Peggy Olson: You know something? We are all here because of you. All we want to do is please you.
Don Draper: You need to decide what kind of company you want to be. Comfortable and dead, or risky and possibly rich.
Allison: Good time? Bad time?
Don Draper: Yes.
Allison: Um, the girls went to Joan, and I don’t want to undermine her, but are we allowed to bring a friend to the Christmas party?
Don Draper: Lane scaled it back to a glass of gin and a box of Velveeta. We’re tightening our belts.
Lane Pryce: What about our other clients?
Roger Sterling: We have no other clients! If Lee Garner, Jr. wants three wise men flown in from Jerusalem, he gets it!
Lane Pryce: There’s been a small adjustment to the scale of our Christmas party.
Joan Harris: Lower or higher?
Lane: Lee Garner, Jr. will be joining us. I trust you’ll make the appropriate improvements.
Roger Sterling: Well I don’t. We need to change its rating from convalescent home to Roman orgy.
Peggy Olson: My bed is covered with work.
Mark: That’s kind of symbolic.
Peggy Olson: You’re never going to get me to do anything Swedish people do.
Don Draper: I don’t hate Christmas. I hate this Christmas.
Don Draper: How can you stand going to the hospital every day?
Phoebe: I love working at the hospital. People comin’ into the world, people leavin’ it. Everything happens there.
Joan Harris: We have gifts, girls, and games.
Lee Garner, Jr. (receiving a gift): You didn’t need to do that.
Lane Pryce: Yes we did.
Lee Garner, Jr.: Thank you. Reminds me of when I was a kid. Remember that? You asked for something and you’d get it. Made you happy!
Don Draper: I’m disappointed. I thought you came in to flirt, but you came in to fight.
Dr. Faye Miller: In a nutshell, it all comes down to what I want versus what’s expected of me.
Don Draper: Did you enjoy ze Fuhrer’s birthday?
Roger Sterling: May he live for a thousand years.
Joan Harris: I just want to make sure that, well you know I’ve had a couple of procedures, I just want to make sure they don’t affect anything.
Dr. Walter Emerson: A couple? I only remember one.
Joan: There was one before that. Should I be worried?
Dr. Emerson: Was the other performed by a physician?
Joan: She said she was a midwife.
Lane Pryce: I understand that all men are dizzy and powerless to refuse you, but consider me the incorruptible exception!
Don Draper (to Anna Draper): Hey, get off my porch.
Stephanie: So I’d say Laura was the worst roommate. She had a nervous breakdown. One morning she’s reading the Bible instead of her Psych book. The next morning she woke me up, leaning over me with this crazy smile, and said, ‘Morning, Stephanie. Have you heard the Good News?’
Anna Draper: There are worse things.
Don Draper : No there aren’t.
Stephanie: I’m not political, I just don’t understand who’s in charge.
Don Draper : You’re in charge. Trust me, I work in advertising.
Stephanie: You’re kidding me. It’s pollution!
Don: So stop buying things.
Don Draper : I could tell, the minute she saw who I really was, she never wanted to look at me again. Which is why I never told her.
Anna Draper: Oh, Dick. I’m sorry she broke your heart.
Don: I had it coming.
Stephanie: But nobody knows what’s wrong themselves, I mean, everyone else can see it right away.
Anna Draper (finds a joint on the couch): If I’d rolled over on this, I’d have had to smoke the dress.
Anna Draper: I started thinking of everything I was sure was true, and how flimsy it all might be.
Don Draper : You don’t have to see a UFO to know that. But it’s not a great way to think about things.
Anna: I know everything about you and I still love you.
Anna Draper: I’m so damn proud of you.
Don Draper : I count on it.
Anna Draper: I’m not going to fight watching Dick Whitman paint my living room in his shorts.
Don Draper : She is very important to me. I’m going to do what I have to.
Patty: You have no say in the affairs of this family. You’re just a man in a room with a checkbook. I’m sorry.
Peggy Olson: It’s so encouraging to see someone happily married around here.
Greg Harris: Joanie, I can’t fix anything else, but I can fix this.
Lane Pryce (about his father): He’s one of those alcoholics who thinks that he’s connecting.
Lane Pryce: Although things are precarious financially, it’s been a magnificent year.
Don Draper : Does Howdy Doody have a wooden dick?
Lane Pryce (about spilled liquor): It’s all over the rug.
Don Draper : We’ll have to smoke the dress.
Don Draper : You know what’s going on here, don’t you? Hand jobs.
Don Draper (to Lane Pryce): Is that what you want, or is that what people expect of you?
Janine: I love your apartment, it’s very manly.
Don Draper : It came this way. I think Norman Mailer shot a deer over there.
Janine: I love deer.
Lane Pryce: Thank you for the welcome distraction.
Don Draper (holding up a bottle): Why is this empty?
Allison: Because you drank it all.
Roger Sterling: Be happy, I saved you an ass-ache.
Roger Sterling: Throw yourself on the grenade. Protect the agency, you’re a partner now.
Harry Crane: My father-in-law is a bus driver. The only place he can take me is to the moon.
Trudy Campbell: Why don’t you let my father hear this from me? He’s already so guilty, he’ll never feel the knife go in.
Dottie: We broke up a year ago. Actually I don’t know what he noticed, but it wasn’t me, I guess.
Allison: It’s worse when they notice, sometimes.
Dottie: I feel like it doesn’t matter what I see. It matters what he sees.
Allison: He’s a drunk and they get away with murder because they forget everything.
Peggy Olson: I don’t know what you think!
Allison: Forget it.
Peggy: Your problem is not my problem.
Peggy: And honestly, you should get over it.
Allison: Please leave me alone.
Harry Crane: Those gonifs at CBS are screwing me again.
Pete Campbell: Those what?
Allison (to Don): I don’t say this easily, but you’re not a good person.
Pete Campbell (to his father-in-law): Every time you jump to conclusions, Tom, you make me respect you less.
Peggy Olson: I have a boyfriend.
Joyce: He doesn’t own your vagina.
Peggy: No, but he’s renting it.
David Kellogg: Art in advertising? Why would anyone do that after Warhol?
Abe: Sorry. For somebody to sell their soul they’ve got to have one.
Peggy Olson: Did you know Malcolm X was shot last Sunday?
Joey: Yes, Peggy.
Peggy: But did you know who he was?
Joey: Do you read the stuff between the ads?
Peggy Olson: Trudy’s pregnant?
Secretary: Mm hmm.
Joey: I can’t believe that guy’s married to her. I would get her so pregnant.
Don Draper: You can’t tell how people are going to behave based on how they have behaved.
Faye Miller: Why are you being so hostile? You think I’ve never had this argument before?
Don: Because you go in there and you stick your finger in people’s brains and they just start talking, ‘blah blah blah,’ just to be heard! And you know what, not only does it have nothing to do with what I do, but it’s nobody’s business!
Neighbor/husband: Did you get pears? Did you get pears? Did you get pears?
Neighbor/wife: We’ll discuss it inside.
Pete Campbell: Secor Laxative has finally agreed to produce a television commercial and test market it.
Roger Sterling: How’d you ease them into it? Must have had to loosen them up first.
Bert Cooper (wearily): We’ve had that client for eighteen years, Roger.
Don Draper: Please tell me I missed everything.
Sally Draper: Are you and Daddy doing it?
Sally: I know what it is. I know that the man pees inside the woman.
Don Draper: They haven’t done half of what we have, but the minute he declared himself my competition, suddenly we were equal.
Don Draper (to Phoebe): Do you know the river of shit I’m going to get from her mother?
Betty Francis: You’re soft. You know that?
Dr. Faye Miller: You’d be surprised what people will say to an interested stranger.
Don Draper: Why does everybody need to talk about everything?
Faye: I don’t know, but they do. And no matter what happens while they’re talking, when they’re done, they feel better.
Dr. Faye Miller: Do you have children?
Don Draper: I do. Two boys and a girl; one and a half, seven, and ten.
Faye: I’m sure it must be hard to be apart.
Don: I don’t see them enough. And when I do I don’t know what to do. And when I drop them off, I feel relieved. And then I miss them.
Betty Francis: Don’t you dare lie to me, I’ll cut your fingers off.
Don Draper: A man is shamed by being openly ridiculed and rejected. It requires an audience.
Roger Sterling: Since when is forgiveness a better quality than loyalty?
Joan Harris: Roger, I know it was awful. And I know it’ll never seem like it was that long ago. But you fought to make the world a safer place, and you won, and now it is.
Roger: You think so? Really?
Joan: I have to.
Betty Francis: I feel like Sally did this to punish me somehow for everything.
Dr. Edna Keener: That must be a terrible feeling.
Danny Siegel: ‘The cure for the common cold’ is the idiom I’m playing off.
Don Draper (to Peggy): It’s an idiom. Did you know that?
Danny Siegel: Well, you know what they say: Aspiration’s as good as perspiration.
Don Draper: That’s not how it goes.
Don Draper: Are we on Candid Camera?
Don Draper: You finish something, you find out everyone loves it right around the time that it feels like someone else did it.
Roger Sterling: Charlie Chaplin is very lonely. That tramp—too much of a sad sack. Laurel & Hardy, they were better, except Hardy was so mean to Laurel. I hated that.
Roger Sterling: I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean, I guess.
Don Draper: So I can show you what’s popular, what’s unique, and the only thing I ask is that you call me Don.
Harry Crane: I was late for the Emmys last year. Red Skelton gave my seat away.
Lane Pryce: I’ll surmise due to the usual nature of your stories that that’s someone of note.
Peggy Olson: Have you been yelled at by Don yet?
Stan Rizzo: I’m not scared of him.
Peggy: So that’s a no.
Peggy Olson: Well let me tell you, I had a lot to do with Glo-Coat. A lot. The idea especially. The kid? Don put the whole cowboy thing on it. I don’t know if it was that revolutionary.
Stan Rizzo: It was jarring, but more cute than I’d like.
Peggy: I know I’m not supposed to go, but when the nomination came in Don let everybody pat him on the back. He didn’t even look at me and I was, I was right there. And I was clapping, and he thought I was clapping for him.
Stan: Who claps for themselves?
Faye Miller: Award or no award, you’re still Don Draper.
Don Draper: Whatever that means.
Faye: You’re incredible.
Don: You smell good.
Faye: Is that right?
Don:What do you say we get out of here and really celebrate?
Faye: I think you’re confusing a lot of things at once right now.
Peggy Olson: Are you going to work or just stare at pictures of women who can’t stare back?
Peggy Olson: You don’t know anything about me.
Stan Rizzo: I know you’re ashamed of your body. Or should be at least.
Peggy Olson: You’re lazy and you have no ideas. (begins to strip)
Stan Rizzo: Really?
Peggy: Yeah. Let’s go.
Rizzo: You’re a fruitcake, you know that?
Peggy: And you’re chickenshit. I can work like this. Let’s get liberated.
Joan Harris: You’ve crossed the border from lubricated to morose.
Roger Sterling: My mother always said be careful what you wish for, because you’ll get it. And then people will get jealous and try to take it away from you.
Don Draper: I don’t think that’s how that goes.
Stan Rizzo: You win.
Peggy Olson: Win what?
Rizzo: Win the prize for the smuggest bitch in the world.
Don Draper: Call the Pen and Pencil, see if someone found my award.
Miss Blankenship: What’s the category?
Don: Best Actress.
Pete Campbell: Look, Ken, everyone here likes you, but this is a small shop, and I need to know you can do as told.
Danny Siegel: How come we have to pay when everyone knows damn well they were free?
Harry Crane: You’re such a Jew.
Danny: Your friends in Hollywood know you talk that way?
Ida Blankenship: If I wanted to see two Negroes fight I’d throw a dollar bill out my window.
Duck Philips: Peggy, it’s Tampax, fifty percent market share. I mean, they’re really up there. Plus that queer at Belle Jolie’s been barking up my tree.
Stan Rizzo: Pull your hands out of your panties.
Don Draper: I wouldn’t be good company anyway.
Roger Sterling: That’s never bothered me before.
Don Draper: You think I’d rather be working?
Roger Sterling: Yeah, I do.
Megan: How old are you?
Peggy Olson: Twenty-six. Today.
Megan: Well you’re doing all right, aren’t you?
Trudy Campbell: You’re witty. I always assumed that, but it turns out it’s true.
Trudy Campbell: You know, 26 is still very young.
Peggy Olson: I remember my mother talking about Nat King Cole in a way that made my father throw out all his records.
Roger Sterling: This guy Rutledge killed a man with a motor boat. You know what gets you over something like that? Drinking!
Katherine Olson: This is your mother speaking.
Peggy Olson: Hello, Ma.
Katherine: I just want you to know that we’re all here: Me, Anita, Jerry, the roommate, and we’re not leaving until you march in here.
Peggy: I can’t, okay? Could you put Mark on the phone?
Katherine: He’s crestfallen, you know?
Mark Kerney: Mrs. Olson, it’s okay.
Katherine: It’s not okay. Now he’s making excuses for you. I don’t know how many nice boys you think are lining up for you. You should be grateful. Okay, goodbye.
Don Draper: It’s your job. I give you money, you give me ideas.
Peggy Olson: And you never say thank you.
Don: That’s what the money is for!
Don Draper: Come on! Ida was a hellcat? Cooper lost his balls? Roger’s writing a book?
Peggy Olson: He doesn’t know me.
Don Draper: Well, as Danny would say, there’s no use crying over fish in the sea.
Don Draper: You know what? There’s a way out of this room we don’t know about.
Don Draper: My Uncle Mac said he had a suitcase that was always packed. He said a man has to be ready to go at any moment. Jesus, maybe it’s a metaphor.
Peggy Olson: I mean, I know what I’m supposed to want, but it just never feels right, or as important as anything in that office.
Peggy Olson: I can’t tell the difference between something that’s good and something that’s awful.
Don Draper: Let’s go someplace darker.
Don Draper: You don’t want to start giving me morality lessons, do you? People do things. Right?
Don Draper: Do you ever think about it?
Peggy Olson: I try not to, but then it comes up out of nowhere. Playgrounds.
Peggy Olson: What happened?
Don Draper: Somebody very important to me died.
Don: The only person in the world who really knew me.
Peggy: That’s not true.
Peggy Olson: Open or closed?
Don Draper: Open.
Don Draper: They say as soon as you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem. My mind is a jumble. I can’t organize my thoughts. And typing feels like work. I’ve never written more than 250 words, not even in high school. Five paragraphs, 50 words each. God I was lazy. I should have finished high school. Everything could have been different.
Ida Blankenship: I tell you I was blind, and now I see.
Peggy Olson: I feel like Margaret Mead.
Joey Baird: What do you do around here besides walking around like you’re trying to get raped?
Joan Harris: Excuse me?
Joey: I’m not some young girl off the bus. I don’t need some madam from a Shanghai whorehouse to show me the ropes.
Don Draper: More and more every day about Vietnam. I hope it’s not another Korea. I sound like a little girl, writing down what happened today. Sunday is Gene’s birthday party. I know I can’t go. I keep thinking about him. He was conceived in a moment of desperation and born into a mess.
Joey Baird: There’s a Joan in every company. My mother was a Joan, always telling everybody what to do. She even wore a pen around her neck so people would stare at her tits.
Don Draper: I thought we were getting to know each other.
Bethany Van Nuys: It doesn’t just accumulate, it takes intense, prolonged contact. Don’t you want to be close with anyone?
Don: I do.
Henry Francis: You need a drink? What are you, a wino? You need a drink? That is not something you’re allowed to say.
Betty Draper Francis: Oh, now you decide what I can and can’t say? I was in a marriage like that before.
Betty Draper Francis: You’re a saint.
Henry Francis: I’m an adult.
Henry Francis: He’s taking up too much space in your life. Maybe in your heart.
Henry Francis: Shut up Betty, you’re drunk.
Don Draper: She’s a sweet girl and she wants me to know her, but I already do. People tell you who they are but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
Don Draper: I like sleeping alone, stretching out like a skydiver, cool patches to hold on to. I should appreciate it more.
Faye Miller: You know what, David? Go shit in the ocean!
Betty Draper Francis: Henry, he was the only man I’d ever been with.
Peggy Olson: You need three ingredients for a cocktail. Vodka and Mountain Dew is an emergency.
Joan Harris: I can’t wait until next year when all of you are in Vietnam. You will be pining for the day when someone was trying to make your life easier. When you’re over there, and you’re in the jungle, and they’re shooting at you, remember you’re not dying for me, because I never liked you.
Don Draper: You want some respect, go out there and get it for yourself.
Joey Baird: We’ll see what Don has to say about that.
Peggy Olson: Don doesn’t even know who you are.
Stan Rizzo: The power of the poontang.
Betty Draper Frances: He’s living the life, let me tell you. He doesn’t get to have this family and that.
Francine Hansen: Oh Betty, you have terrible luck with entertaining.
Joan Harris: You want to be a big shot. Well, no matter how powerful we get around here, they can still just draw a cartoon. So all you’ve done is prove to them that I’m a meaningless secretary and you’re another humorless bitch.
Don Draper (discussing Faye’s father): What’s he like?
Faye Miller: He’s a handsome two-bit gangster like you.
Don Draper: It’s my two year old’s birthday, but I’m not going.
Faye Miller: Why not?
Don: Because I’m not welcome there. He thinks that man’s his father. Maybe that’s okay.
Faye: All he knows of the world is what you show him.
Betty Draper Francis (to Henry): We have everything.
Faye Miller: You want to leave me here? You sure?
Don Draper (zipping up): I’m taking everything interesting with me.
Stan Rizzo: I’m not shocked by your lesbian hi-jinx, I just hope you know you can never do what a man can do.
Miss Blankenship (to Peggy): It’s a business of sadists and masochists, and you know which one you are.
Peggy Olson: I have to say, most of the things Negroes can’t do, I can’t do either, and nobody seems to care.
Abe Drexler: What are you talking about?
Peggy: Half of the meetings take place over golf , tennis, in a bunch of clubs where I can’t be a member, or even enter. The University Club said the only way I could eat dinner there is if I arrived in a cake.
Abe Drexler: All right Peggy, we’ll have a civil rights march for women.
Bert Cooper: A three-letter word for a flightless bird.
Miss Blankenship: Emu.
Bert: Nope, it starts with an L.
Miss Blankenship: The hell it does.
Roger Sterling: Joanie, it’ll be okay.
Joan Harris: People love to say that.
Don Draper: I would have my secretary do it, but she’s dead.
Bert Cooper: She was born in 1898 in a barn. She died on the thirty-seventh floor of a skyscraper. She’s an astronaut.
Roger Sterling: She died like she lived, surrounded by the people she answered phones for.
Don Draper: What’s on this?
Sally Draper: Mrs. Butterworth’s.
Don: Go get it. (Sally does.) That’s rum. Read labels.
Sally: Is it bad?
Don: Not really.
Peggy Olson: Well, why are we doing business with someone who doesn’t hire Negroes?
Don Draper: Our job is to make men like Filmore Auto, not Filmore Auto like Negroes.
Faye Miller: Hi Sally, remember me from yesterday?
Megan: It’s going to be all right.
Sally Draper: No it’s not.
Megan: I fall all the time.
Joyce Ramsay: Are you angry or lovesick?
Peggy Olson: I don’t know.
Special Agent Landingham: So, do you have any reason to believe Mr. Draper isn’t who he says he is?
Betty Frances: What was that? I’m sorry.
Special Agent Landingham: It’s a standard question. I know it sounds funny.
Betty Frances: Well, I don’t know if I should even be talking on the phone.
Don Draper: Of course you should. (clears throat) There’s no problem with any of that.
Toni (to Lane): Why do you have to be so damn dashing?
Don Draper: There’s three lies in eight questions here! If they talk to his family? He was an engineer. My age is wrong!
Don Draper (to Pete Campbell): You can run the agency without me.
Frank Keller: Now please tell me you’re shtupping that girl out there.
Roger Sterling: I can’t stop thinking about you. Maybe I’m in love with you.
Joan Harris: So you want to keep it?
Roger: No, of course not. It’s just, I mean, if there’s going to be something between us, I don’t want it to start this way. Do you? With a scandal?
Joan: I see.
Roger Sterling: It wouldn’t be my child, let’s make that clear. I mean, if he comes home.
Joan Harris: Jesus, Greg dying is not a solution to this.
Roger: Okay, okay, I’m desperate. I’m just trying to think of what’s best for you.
Joan: I’m going to take care of it.
Roger: Whatever you want.
Betty Frances: I don’t want any secrets.
Pete Campbell: This many years later, it must be past the statute of limitations.
Don Draper: It’s desertion, there’s no statute of limitations.
Pete: I thought nobody cared about these things.
Don: What am I supposed to do?
Pete: I don’t know. You’ve been doing it for years. I don’t have to live with your shit over my head.
Mother in doctor’s office: Sorry. There’s no one to talk to.
Joan Harris: I understand.
Lane Pryce: Come along, out with it. I see your face. Are you more distraught that I’ve found someone I love or that she’s a Negro?
Don Draper: I’m tired of running.
Faye Miller: Running from what?
Don: In Korea I was wounded. But this other man was killed and they mixed us up. I wanted them to. And I just kept living as him.
Faye: My goodness.
Don: Yep. But now I think that’s over.
Joan Harris: It’s okay. I feel good.
Roger Sterling: I feel awful.
Joan: We avoided a tragedy.
Abe Drexler: You weigh like a pound, relax.
Joyce Ramsay: Nobody talk! I’m really stoned.
Abe Drexler: God, I love your shoulders. You look like you’re in the Olympics.
Don Draper: Every day I tried not to think about what would happen if this happened.
Tom Vogel: There’s no business in here, son.
Danny Siegel: Is it a last hired, last fired sort of thing?
Peggy Olson: Every time something good happens, something bad happens. I knew I’d pay for it.
Peggy Olson: Playtex gloves protect a woman’s hands so they’re soft enough to touch all the things a woman wants to touch.
Danny Siegel: All the things?
Stan Rizzo: (snickers)
Peggy. Uh huh. The exciting things she wants to feel with her fingertips: His lips, the tuft of hair on his chest, the small of his back.
Danny: I can’t imagine Don saying that.
Joan Harris (to Roger): I’m not a solution to your problems. I’m another problem.
Roger Sterling: So that night we got mugged, that was the last time? I wish I’d known that.
Roger Sterling: You want to dog-pile on me? Saving that account was impossible.
Don Draper: Because you ignored it! One damn account and you ignored it.
Roger: You don’t know what you’re talking about. Pete, explain it to him.
Pete Campbell: You squeezed me off of it, Roger. You wanted it all to yourself.
Don: (pointing towards Pete) He would have never let this happen! But ‘you do what you can do.’ Which is nothing!
Roger: Hey! You’re the one who dragged me into your amateur hour. I was perfectly happy where I was. And why did I do it? Out of friendship. But now that the account’s gone, I guess that went with it. Get out of here, all of you. Go chase a hearse.
Don Draper: I’m used to having my ideas rejected, not me.
Don Draper: This is everything to me.
Faye Miller: I know the difference between what we have, and this stupid office.
Peggy Olson: Why do you keep making me reject you?
Bert Cooper: Lee Garner, Jr. never took you seriously because you never took yourself seriously.
Megan (she repaired the Clio): I thought in the end you wouldn’t want to throw it away.
Don Draper: You’re wrong.
Don Draper: I can’t make any mistakes right now.
Megan: Let’s be clear. I’m not going to run out of here crying tomorrow. I just want you right now.
Raymond from Heinz: I bet I could get a date with your mother right now.
Jeff Atherton: You’re paying me to assess your situation, but I could have told you from three blocks away that signing new business, no matter what the size, is of the essence, not only because your billings have shrunk by fifty percent but because there’s not much time before you’ll be perceived as stagnant; worse, decaying.
Sally Draper: She doesn’t care what the truth is, as long as I do what she says.
Perry Demuth: The whole thing’s about what she sees when she closes her eyes. It’s part of this thing that she’s doing. It’s called an afterimage—what’s more real?
Don Draper: What’s it like?
Midge Daniels: Like drinking a hundred bottles of whiskey while someone licks your tits.
Midge Daniels: Don, what am I going to do with a check?
Midge Daniels: Think my work’s any good?
Don Draper: Does it matter?
Sally Draper: When I think about forever I get upset. Like the Land of Lakes butter has that Indian girl, sitting holding a box, and it has a picture of her on it, holding a box, with a picture of her on it, holding a box. Have you ever noticed that?
Peggy Olson: You always say, if you don’t like what they’re saying about you, change the conversation.
Don Draper: To what? What they’re saying about us is true.
Don Draper: We’re Creative, the least important, most important thing there is.
The letter to the New York Times:
Why I’m quitting Tobacco
Recently my advertising agency ended a long relationship with Lucky Strike cigarettes, and I’m relieved.
For over 25 years we devoted ourselves to peddling a product for which good work is irrelevant, because people can’t stop themselves from buying it. A product that never improves, that causes illness, and makes people unhappy. But there was money in it. A lot of money. In fact, our entire business depended on it. We knew it wasn’t good for us, but we couldn’t stop.
And then, when Lucky Strike moved their business elsewhere, I realized, here was my chance to be someone who could sleep at night, because I know what I’m selling doesn’t kill my customers.
So as of today, Sterling Cooper Draper Price will no longer take tobacco accounts. We know it’s going to be hard. If you’re interested in cigarette work, here’s a list of agencies that do it well: BBDO, Leo Burnett, McCann Erickson, Cutler Gleason & Chaough, and Benton & Bowles.
As for us, we welcome all other business because we’re certain that our best work is still ahead of us.
Donald F. Draper
Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce
Bert Cooper: I’m no longer part of this agency. You there, get my shoes.
Danny Siegel: It’s a doggy dog world.
Peggy Olson: I thought you didn’t go in for those kinds of shenanigans.
Faye Miller: Have your girl make reservations.
Roger Sterling: Well I gotta go learn a bunch of people’s names before I fire them.
Pete Campbell: Yes, Don saved the company. Now go get rid of half of it.
Don Draper: I’ve got this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Dr. Faye Miller: Listen, maybe it’s not all about work. Maybe that sick feeling might go away if you’d take your head out of the sand about the past.
Don: You know it’s not that simple.
Faye: Of course it isn’t. And you don’t have to do it alone, but if you resolve some of that, you might be more comfortable with everything.
Don: And then what happens?
Faye: Then you’re stuck trying to be a person like the rest of us.
Joan Harris: Well, it’s almost an honor.
American Cancer Society Board Member: What made you suddenly write that?
Don Draper: Well, most of it was in the letter, hopefully, but, I think in my heart, it was an impulse, because I knew what I needed to do to move forward.
Don Draper (about teenagers): The truth is, they’re mourning for their childhood more than they’re anticipating their future, because they don’t know it yet, but they don’t want to die.
Roger Sterling: So, did you get Cancer?
Glen Bishop: It’s not that big a deal, I say goodbye to people all the time.
Glen Bishop (to Betty): Just cause you’re sad doesn’t mean everybody has to be.
Frank Keller: Don’t be impatient. Enjoy the harvest, plant some seeds, maybe get a place of your own. Don’t you want to come home someday and see a steak on the table?
Sally Draper: Who’s Dick?
Don Draper: Well, that’s me. That’s my nickname sometimes.
Don Draper: What are you going to do?
Stephanie: I don’t know. That’s the best part, right? Got the rest of my life ahead of me. So do you.
Bobby Draper: What about Tomorrowland? I don’t want to ride an elephant, I want to fly a jet!
Betty Draper Francis: I wanted a fresh start, okay? I’m entitled to that!
Henry Francis: There is no fresh start! Lives carry on.
Betty: Jesus Henry, just once could you take my side.
Henry: No one’s ever on your side, Betty.
Don Draper: You don’t know anything about me.
Megan Calvert: But I do. I know that you have a good heart. I know that you’re always trying to be better.
Don: We all try, we don’t always make it. I’ve done a lot of things.
Megan: I know who you are now.
Don Draper: I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel like myself when I’m with you, but the way I always wanted to feel, because I’m in love with you Megan, and I think I have been for a while.
Megan Calvert: What about work, what do we do?
Don Draper: We tell everybody.
Megan: Oh! Okay.
Roger Sterling: See Don? This is the way to behave.
Joan Harris: Whatever could be on your mind?
Joan Harris: They’re all just between marriages, you know that.
Joan Harris:Well I learned a long time ago to not get all my satisfaction from this job.
Peggy Olson: That’s bullshit.
Betty Draper Francis: I don’t know Don. Things aren’t perfect.
Don Draper: So you’ll move again.
Betty: So much change, it’s made everything difficult.