Dr. Adams: So, Mr. Draper. You haven’t had a physical in quite some time.
Don Draper: I eat a lot of apples.
Betty Draper: (about Sarah Beth’s daughter, who skips lunch): You should be glad she watches what she eats.
Sarah Beth Carson: That’s the truth, she is slimming down.
Sarah Beth (about Arthur): We talk about you, and how Gertie has a crush on you.
Betty Draper: She’s a sadist. I’ll see you Saturday?
(Betty gets into the car in her dirty riding boots.)
Sarah Beth: Don’t you hate getting manure in that?
Betty: Little children. What’s the difference?
Dale (about Peggy): I’m telling you, Draper knocked her up. She goes away for a couple o’ months, drops nine pounds eight ounces, comes back with a job.
Paul Kinsey: Don’s been screwing me for the last three years, I’ve got nothing.
Roger Sterling: What happened to the Jewish doctor?
Joan Holloway: He’s not Jewish.
Roger: Not anymore, but he was, trust me. Is he still a doctor?
Joan: You sound like a little girl. What do you care?
Duck Phillips: No one under 25 drinks coffee anymore. Just Pepsi. They pour it on their Frosted Flakes.
Don Draper: There has to be advertising for people who don’t have a sense of humor.
Betty Draper: Did somebody get a lot of Valentines?
Sally Draper: They made everybody give one to everybody else.
Betty: Well, That defeats the purpose.
Roger: Look, Don is talent. You know how to deal with that, don’t you? Just assume that he knows as much about business as you do, but inside there’s a child who likes getting his way.
Duck: He’s not my first Creative Director. This is about a sales reality, and not personal territory.
Roger Sterling: The last time Freddy Rumsen had a cup of coffee, it was one of five being poured down his throat by a cop.
Don (on being told to hire young people): So what am I supposed to do, dangle a Pepsi out the window and see if I can hook a stroller?
Roger Sterling: Isn’t it possible that the recently weaned have some unique perspective? Joy. Enthusiasm.
Betty Draper (about Juanita): I suppose people get lonely. And it’s Valentine’s Day. Be Mine for one hundred dollars. How much is it, do you think? I told her I wanted to have hundreds of babies with you.
Betty Draper: I wish you would just tell me what to do.
Joan Holloway: Do we like this in the hallway?
Lois Sadler: I think it looks good now, but I think it will become messy.
Joan: I agree.
Duck Phillips: You know there are other ways to think of things than the way you think of them.
Don Draper: Just so you know, the people who talk that way think that monkeys can do this. And they take all this monkey crap and just stick it in a briefcase completely unaware that their success depends on something more than their shoeshine. You are the product. You feeling something. That’s what sells. Not them. Not sex. They can’t do what we do, and they hate us for it.
Don: I get on a plane, I don’t care where I’m going. I just want to see the city disappearing behind me.
Ken: Let me tell you, Don Draper has a rope coiled under his desk, and it’s looped around Duck’s neck. Duck’s gonna run around, and run around and then one day…? (Ken stomps his foot on the imaginary rope.)
Don Draper (narrating, reading from Frank O’Hara)*:
Now I am quietly waiting
for the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.
The country is grey and
brown and white in trees,
snows and skies of laughter
always diminishing, less funny
not just darker, not just grey.
It may be the coldest day of
the year, what does he think of
that? I mean, what do I? And if I do,
perhaps I am myself again.
*Excerpt of “Mayakovsky” from Meditations in an Emergency
2:02 Flight 1
Trudy Campbell: I have no problem with Negroes, I’m just worried about the car.
Eugene: So you work for these stuffed shirts.
Peggy Olson: I work with them.
Peggy Olson: Eugene, whom I just met, was telling me that at Princeton Paul used to dress up like a girl.
Eugene: According to him, that’s how Shakespeare did it.
Eugene: Hey Brooklyn, come home with me.
Peggy Olson: Nu uh.
Eugene: Why not? I live alone.
Peggy: Why should I?
Eugene: Because I like you and we’re having a good time and I’m a good kisser and you know you want to.
Peggy: I’m in the persuasion business, and frankly I’m disappointed by your presentation.
Joan Holloway (to Sheila White): Well it’s good to see you and Paul together. I have to say, when Paul and I were together, the last thing I’d have taken him for was open-minded.
Roger Sterling (about John Glenn): It’s incredible what passes for heroism these days. I’d like ticker tape for pulling out of my driveway and going around the block three times. It’s not like people were shooting at him.
Don Draper: I think he’s a winner. Square jaw, false modesty, it’s like he just took off his letterman jacket.
Roger Sterling: Can I just fire everyone?
Don Draper: There’s life, and there’s work.
Don Draper: We already have an airline.
Roger Sterling: We don’t have American.
Don: Oh, that’s right. We have the one whose planes didn’t just fall out of the sky.
Judy Campbell: I like to offer a nice bouquet of thoughts.
Peggy Olson: I’m capable of making my own decisions.
Anita Olson Respola: Really? The State of New York didn’t so. The doctors didn’t think so.
Don Draper: Carlton’s put on a few.
Betty Draper: I think it’s nice he’s filled out. It shows he’s happy.
Don: I wouldn’t say that.
Betty: Why not? Did he say something? What did he say?
Don: He didn’t say anything.
Betty: Well he should be happy.
Don: Okay, maybe he is.
Betty: He should be happy, and grateful, and showering Francine with love after what he put her through.
Don: Look, Bets, I’m not going to fight. I’ll say whatever you think I should say, but I’m not going to fight with you.
Joan Holloway: I’m not a phony.
Paul Kinsey: You’re so proud.
Joan: It’s so obvious why you’re seeing her. A supermarket checkout girl? Conversation must be stimulating. ˜Lettuce costs a nickel.’
Paul: What a relief, you’re just jealous.
Joan: Because you’re the one who got away? You! Out there in your poor little rich boy apartment in Newark or wherever. Walking around with your pipe and your beard. Falling in love with that girl just to show how interesting you are. Go ahead, what part is wrong?
Don Draper: What kind of company are we going to be?
Roger Sterling: The kind where everyone has a summer house?
2:03 The Benefactor
Sara Beth Carson: He reminds me of Monty Clift in A Place in the Sun, learning how to ride so he can worm his way into the upper crust.
Betty Draper: Somewhere there’s a pregnant girl floating in a lake.
Sara Beth Carson: Becky has a dance recital. It’s so horrible to put girls that fat in a leotard.
Salvatore Romano: You told your wife about this?
Harry Crane: I know. I do that. I keep doing it. I didn’t know what to do.
Salvatore: There’s nothing you can do. That’s why you don’t tell your wife.
Jimmy Barrett: Imagine my horror when a night on the town turned ugly. This is a nice place. For nice people. And the jerk behind the bar? He throws a bowl of nuts at me. What am I? A squirrel? Lucky for him, I bring my own wherever I go. Am I crazy? I don’t think so. Just you try and stick your face into a can of nuts.
Roger Sterling: Give me a cigarette.
Ken Cosgrove: Yes, sir.
Don Draper: Why don’t you get your own? We have a whole storeroom full of Luckys.
Roger: Because I don’t smoke.
Don Draper: Has anyone tried to save this yet, besides Leopold and Loeb over here.
Don Draper: You do not ‘cover for me.’ You manage people’s expectations.
Don Draper: He can come in here with vomit in his pockets for all I care, but these people are his benefactors, like the Medicis of Florence. They’re patrons of his art.
Bobbie Barrett: Where are you?
Don Draper: In my home. With my children.
Bobbie: Really? I like being bad and then going home and being good.
Arthur Case: I can’t figure you out.
Betty Draper: Why would you want to do that?
Arthur Case: You’re so profoundly sad.
Betty Draper: No. It’s just my people are Nordic.
Don Draper: You need to charm him. I need you to be shiny and bright. I need a better half.
Roger Sterling: How much do you make?
Harry Crane: Two hundred dollars a week.
Roger: Plus drinks.
Jimmy Barrett (to Don): By the way, I loved you in Gentleman’s Agreement.
Don Draper (to Bobbie): Believe me, I will ruin him. Do what I say.
2:04 Three Sundays
Betty (to Don): You think you’d be the man you are today if your father didn’t hit you?
Don Draper: American Airlines is not about the past anymore than America is. Ask not about Cuba. Ask not about the bomb; we’re going to the moon. Throw everything out.
Paul Kinsey: Everything?
Don: There is no such thing as American history, only a frontier. That crash happened to somebody else. It’s not about apologies for what happened. It’s about those seven men in the room on Friday, and what airline they are going to be running.
Salvatore Romano: So what does that mean?
Don: Let’s pretend we know what 1963 looks like.
Roger Sterling: Don’t you love the chase? Sometimes it doesn’t work out. Those are the stakes. But when it does work out “ it’s like having that first cigarette. Your head gets all dizzy, your heart pounds, your knees go week. Remember that? Old business is just old business.
Anita Olson Respola (in the confessional): I was in the laundromat and I took some coins off the machine and used them. I took the Lord’s name in vain three times and, and I’m so angry, Father. I’m so angry at my little sister. She’s causing my mother so much pain. She had a child out of wedlock. She seduced a married man. It’s a terrible sin, and she acts like it didn’t even happen. And I hate her for it. And I feel so guilty about it. But everyone keeps falling all over themselves trying to help her. And she goes on like nothing happened. Nothing at all. What about me, Father? My troubles. What about me being good, for what?
Bobby Draper: We have to get you a new daddy.
2:05 The New Girl
Pete Campbell: Are you kidding? I’m an account man. I spend half my day tiptoeing around creative cry babies and the other half drinking with ungrateful turnips who just fell off the truck. I’m completely replaceable even though I brought in a huge account. And you throw this baby thing on top of it? The economy is contracting? My in-laws?
Freddy Rumsen: Sounds like a visit from the stork, or DeBeer’s, or, it could be just a new hairdo.
(Don’s phone rings while Joan is discussing her upcoming wedding.)
Don Draper: Miss Holloway, those aren’t wedding bells!
Rachel Katz (neé Menken) (to Don and Bobbie): Well, you two enjoy working together.
Bobbie Barrett: So, tell me what I want.
Don Draper: Steak tartare.
Bobbie Barrett: If it wasn’t for me it wouldn’t be Grin & Barrett, it’d be Grin & Brownstein.
Don Draper: Laughs.
Bobbie: This is America, pick a job and then become the person that does it.
Don: That’s true.
Bobbie: Right after I met Jimmy, I watched somebody’s Uncle Morty close a deal for him, and I realized, I negotiate for everything: The rent, the plumber, my hairdresser, even did it in a department store once. It’s touchy, because you’re really telling somebody they’re not worth what they think, but you can’t hurt their feelings.
Don: Negotiating is a bore.
Bobbie: It’s hand to hand combat! You don’t like negotiating, what the hell do you like?
Bobbie Barrett: Why is it so hard to just enjoy things?
Bobbie Barrett: God! I feel so good!
Don Draper: I don’t feel a thing.
Don Draper: No one in the office can know about this, it’s business.
Peggy Olson: You’ll have to believe me that I’ll forget this. I don’t want you treating me badly because I remind you of it. This can be fixed.
Betty Draper: Where the hell were you?
Bobbie Barrett (reading a magazine): Oh, Marilyn, the tragedy you live. I’m sure glad I don’t have problems.
Peggy Olson: I think most women would love to have her problems.
Bobbie Barrett: I keep forgetting the accident. It was terrible. And it keeps getting stranger.
Peggy Olson: Well, if you’re lucky, it will disappear.
Jane Siegel: I feel like I’m walking in tall cotton.
Katherine Olson: I’m going, but I’m not leaving, Peaches.
Joan Holloway: I’ve always been faithful to whomever I was with, and despite your jokes, I always assumed you were unhappy with Mona, not the whole idea.
Joan Holloway: Your décolletage is distracting. This is an office that hinges on professional decorum.
Bobbie Barrett: You have to start living the life of the person you want to be.
Peggy Olson: is that what you did?
Bobbie: You’re never gonna get that corner office until you start treating Don as an equal. And no one will tell you this, but you can’t be a man. Don’t even try. Be a woman. Powerful business when done correctly. Do you understand what I’m saying, dear?
Peggy: I think so.
Peggy Olson: Is that you? Are you really there?
Don Draper: Yes I am.
Peggy: What are you doing here?
Don: You got a promotion and you disappeared.
Don Draper: What’s wrong with you?
Peggy Olson: I don’t know.
Don: What do they want you to do?
Peggy: I don’t know.
Don: Yes you do. Do it. Do whatever they say. Peggy, listen to me. Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.
Don Draper: I guess when you try to forget something, you have to forget everything.
Peggy Olson: Thank you, Don.
Jimmy Barrett: You’re a cool cat, Donny.
Don Draper: Peggy, you dig around Playtex’s unique benefits.
Freddy Rumsen: Just the man to do it.
Pete Campbell: Her skin cleared up, but she still looks unhappy.
Peggy Olson: She’s a cheerleader.
Pete: For who? The University of Dour?
Marcy Patterson: Whenever it’s this hot, I think about that summer they executed the Rosenbergs. It’s always about to rain.
Crab Colson: Oh, it had nothing to do with Kennedy. Still, all that vigor disappeared when he found out he couldn’t get anything done. It’s Versailles. Jackie smiling all over the world, he’s chasing starlets.
Don Draper: Everybody’s happy.
Crab: I’m building a bomb shelter.
Paul Kinsey: Marilyn’s really a Joan, not the other way around.
Peggy Olson: I don’t know if all women are a Jackie or a Marilyn. Maybe men see them that way.
Paul Kinsey: Bras are for men. Women want to see themselves the way men see them.
Salvatore Romano: You’re a Jackie or a Marilyn. A line and a curve, nothing goes better together.
Peggy: which do you think I am?
Ken Cosgrove: Gertrude Stein. (Everyone laughs.)
Salvatore: I would say you’re more classical. Hellenic.
Don Draper: Irene Dunne.
Freddy Rumsen: Oh I love Irene Dunne.
Joan Holloway: You want to be taken seriously, stop dressing like a little girl.
Bobbie Barrett: I want the full Don Draper treatment.
Don Draper: You’re spoiling the mood.
Bobbie: I want it and I got it and it’s better than they said.
Bobbie: Have no fear, you’re known as a connoisseur, you have lots of fans.
Bobbie Barrett: You have a reputation, enjoy it.
Don Draper: Does it make you feel better to think that I’m like you?
Bobbie Barrett: What are you doing? Are you going?
Don Draper: I told you to stop talking.
Sally Draper (Watching Daddy shave): I’m not going to talk, I don’t want you to cut yourself.
2:07 The Gold Violin
Wayne Kirkeby: Afraid you’ll fall in love?
Don Draper: Something like that.
Mysterious blonde woman: You’re not Don Draper.
Roger Sterling: I bet she suffers in silence out there, hoping you’ll notice her.
Don Draper: I don’t think she cries at night from lack of attention.
Roger: Wait until she finds out about your Cadillac. She’ll be waiting naked right in front of this window.
Roger Sterling: Do you know how invigorating it is to go in and write a check for sixty-five hundred dollars, and not care?
Smitty Smith: Look, Don, it’s pretty clear why we’re here. You want to know how our generation feels.
Don Draper: Okay.
Smitty: So, I get this letter from my friend back in Michigan. He’s still in school, man. And it’s got this, I don’t know, sixty page rant in it. So dig it: “We would replace power rooted in possession, privilege, or circumstance by power and uniqueness rooted in love, reflectiveness, reason, and creativity.”
Don: That’s a beautiful sentiment. Does your friend know what you do for a living?
Smitty: Yeah, there was a shitty note with it. But this whole concept is deep.
Jane Siegel (about Cooper’s painting): So it’s smudgy squares, huh? That’s interesting.
Ken Cosgrove: I don’t think it’s supposed to be explained.
Salvatore Romano: I’m an artist, okay? It must mean something.
Ken: Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you’re just supposed to experience it. ˜Cause when you look at it, you do feel something, right? It’s like looking into something very deep. You could fall in.
Ken Cosgrove (to Paul Kinsey): You missed something, my yellow-bellied friend. Jane Siegel is a genuine thrill. Breaking and entering.
Ken Cosgrove: You’re not like everyone else around here.
Salvatore Romano: I don’t know if that’s true.
Bertram Cooper: Mr. Crane, focus, please. We didn’t make you head of television just to shorten your attention span.
Bertram Cooper: People buy things to realize their aspirations; it’s the foundation of our business. But between you and me and the lamppost, that thing should double in value by next Christmas.
Bertram Cooper: Philanthropy is the gateway to power.
Bertram Cooper: There are few people who get to decide what will happen in our world. You have been invited to join them. Pull back the curtain and take your seat.
Salvatore Romano: To “The Gold Violin,” by Kenneth Cosgrove.
Ken Cosgrove: You really liked it?
Salvatore: I did. It was lovely.
Ken: I saw one at the Met. It’s perfect in every way, except it couldn’t make music.
Kitty Romano: Oh, my.
Betty Draper: We should do this more often.
Don Draper: We should only do this.
Jimmy Barrett: The drunker you are, the funnier I become. ABC did research.
Jimmy Barrett: What do you think happened between the two of them?
Betty Draper: Excuse me?
Jimmy: Oh, come on. Look at them.
Betty: I don’t like what you’re saying.
Jimmy: All I know is, I know her, and you know him, and there they are, and they don’t care where we are.
Betty: Stop it.
Jimmy: Hold on.
Betty: Let me go!
Jimmy: I don’t like it any more than you do.
Betty: You people are ugly and crude.
Jimmy:What people? You mean comedians?
2:08 A Night To Remember
Harry: There are things to do that I didn’t know were my job.
Ken: How could that be? You made that job up.
Warren (to Harry, about Joan): She’s so much woman.
Roger (making introductions): Crab, Duck; Duck, Crab.
Betty: You embarrassed me.
Don: What are you talking about?
Betty: You embarrassed me.
Don: What did I do?
Betty: You knew I would buy that beer.
Don: So what?
Betty: Because you know me so well. You know everything about me.
Don: Bets, I use our life all the time in my work, they pay me for that.
Betty: And then you laughed. You all laughed. Must be so funny being in on it.
Don: C’mon. You’re taking this the wrong way.
Betty: You embarrassed me.
Don: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.
Betty: You never mean it. You just do whatever you want. And I put up with it because nobody knows.
Betty: You think you know me? Well I know what kind of a man you are.
Don: You think I would sleep with that woman.
Betty: You can’t help yourself.
Joan (talking about As The World Turns): Someone people think is dead, is not.
Don: What time is it?
Betty: I don’t want it to be like this.
Don: Me either.
Betty: I don’t know what to do. (Don reaches over to her.) Don’t.
Don: Nothing happened.
Betty: Now you look me in the eye. You never do that.
Don: Yes I do.
Betty: You never say you love me.
Don: Yes I do. You know I do. I say it all the time.
Betty: No you don’t. Do you hate me?
Don: Oh God, no. I love you, Bets. I do. And I love the children. I don’t want to lose all this. (Betty gets up and leaves the room.)
Father Gill (walking through the Sterling Cooper offices): This is a very impressive operation.
Peggy: It’s Madison Avenue.
Pete (looking at Peggy and Father Gill walking through the office): Look at this. Did we get Miracle Whip?
Ken: I don’t know. Makes a lot of sense. She’s an undercover nun.
Father Gill: You know when you distance yourself from the church, you are distancing yourself from everything. That’s why it’s called communion. It’s not just being with God, it’s being with people.
Peggy: I know that.
Father Gill: Well then why are you pushing everyone away?
Peggy: I’m not.
Father Gill: There is no sin too great to bring to God. You can reconcile yourself with him and have a whole new start. You’re a smart, beautiful young girl. You have so much to offer. Do you feel you don’t deserve his love?
Jimmy Barrett: Imagine my horror when a night on the town turned ugly. This is a nice place for nice people. And the jerk behind the bar, he throws a bowl of nuts at me. What am I a squirrel? Lucky for him, I carry my own wherever I go. Am I crazy? I don’t think so. Just you try and stick your face into a can of nuts. Take it from a nut, UTZ are better than nuts.
Betty: Don’t come home.
Betty: I don’t care what you do, I just don’t want you here.
Betty: Don, I don’t want to see you.
2:09 Six Month Leave
Hollis: Some people just hide in plain sight.
Don: Suicide is disturbing.
Don: It goes without saying that this is personal, and I’d appreciate you keeping it that way.
Jane: Of course.
Don: I’d also avoid giving me concerned looks.
Jane: Mr. Draper, I hope you’ve noticed I’m a discreet person.
Don: I don’t know you at all, and this is personal and it’s not up for discussion.
Betty: It’s a switch you can flip on and off, you know.
Joan: One day you’ll lose someone who’s important to you. You’ll see. It’s very painful.
Don: I’m usually part of the meeting before the meeting.
Roger: Don. It’s conduct unbefitting.
Don: Of Freddy Rumsen?
Roger: The agencies will laugh about this, but the clients—they already think we’re all like that.
Roger: Your loyalty is starting to become a liability.
Woman at the Chuck-a-Luck: Hello there. Are we winners or losers?
Roger: Losers tonight, but winners in general.
Roger Sterling: You know, BBDO hired a colored kid. What do you think of that?
Don Draper: I think I’m glad I’m not that kid.
Don Draper: It was a real Archibald Whitman maneuver.
Roger Sterling: Who’s that?
Don: S’a hothead drunk I used to know.
Don Draper: I don’t know. It’s your life. You don’t know how long it’s gonna be but you know it’s got a bad ending. You have to move forward. As soon as you can figure out what that is.
Don: Don’t feel bad about being good at your job.
Peggy: If it wasn’t for him I’d still be a secretary.
Pete: If it wasn’t for me you’d still be a Junior Copywriter. I refuse to feel bad. We’re going to get raises. You could get his office. Now, I’ll go first. Congratulations, Peggy.
Peggy: Congratulations Pete.
2:10 The Inheritance
Betty Draper: God, you know I’ve been dreaming about a suitcase.
Pete Campbell: How long can she afford to live?
Bud Campbell: By golly, Pete, maybe we can get rid of her tonight.
Pete: (Laughs.) Remember Rope? (They both laugh.)
Bud Campbell: All we have to do is go over there, get her signature, mourn over the loss of our birthright, and move on.
Betty Draper: Where’s the ottoman with the birds?
Betty Draper: She’s a silly woman. All that talk about her underthings? Daddy used to fine us for small talk, remember?
William Hofstadt: (remembering) Conversation is an art.
Betty: Well it is.
Betty Draper: He doesn’t know who I am.
Viola: He’s very, very sick.
Betty: You don’t know how nice it is to hear someone say that.
Betty Draper: I’m an orphan.
Don Draper: Bets. You’re upset.
Betty Draper: I am. And I know how you feel about grieving.
Don: I think I should be here for you.
Betty: That’s your reason?
Don: What do you want me to say? I want to be here. You need me here.
Betty: Why? Nothing’s changed. We were just pretending.
Bert Cooper: I just wanted to say Happy Birthday.
Joan Holloway: Mr. Draper, I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow. How is everything?
Don Draper: About how those things are.
Pete Campbell: I’m going away, you know.
Peggy Olson: Of course.
Pete: On a plane.
Peggy: What do you want me to say, that I wish I was going? Everybody does. I’ve never even been on a plane.
Pete: Well, I have, but not since my father died.
Peggy: Oh. I’m sorry.
Pete: I’m not scared. It just seemed significant is all.
Peggy: Statistically speaking, it’s very unlikely that it will happen to two people in one family.
Pete: That’s true. Besides it wouldn’t be the worst thing. I hate my mother. What do you think of that?
Pete Campbell: Everything’s so easy for you.
Peggy Olson: It’s not easy for anyone, Pete.
Paul Kinsey: Advertising, if anything, helps bring on change. The market, and I’m talking in a purely Marxist sense, dictates that we must include everyone. “Consumer” has no color.
Helen Bishop: I don’t know, for me, it wasn’t that different without him there.
Betty Draper: Sometimes I feel like I’ll float away, if Don isn’t holding me down.
Helen: The hardest part is realizing you are in charge.
2:11 The Jet Set
Roger Sterling: I have to keep you in line or I’ll lose you.
Jane Siegel: Yes, you will.
Don Draper: What did Ricardo in there say?
Pete Campbell: He’s in hourly contact with TWA and they’ve offered to buy you new luggage.
Don: And fill it with my things?
Don Draper: You want to be on vacation, Pete? Because I can make that happen.
Pete Campbell: Oh! I just saw Tony Curtis in the men’s room!
Don Draper: Handing out towels?
Joy: Why would you deny yourself something you want?
Joy: You want to get your things?
Willy (toasting): Everyone! To our guest. To not being carried out in a box.
Willy: You’ll never meet a group of people more interested in professions, and yet, there’s not one of us here who has one.
Ken Cosgrove: Where are you two going?
Kurt Smith: To the Bob Dylan.
Joan Holloway: Isn’t that interesting?
Harry Crane: Peggy and Kurt in the Village oh my!
Salvatore Romano: Oh, don’t be shy. I think you two are adorable.
Kurt: What is this? You think, Peggy and I?
Ken: We do. (laughter)
Kurt: I’m homosexual.
Ken: I don’t think that means what you think it means.
Smitty Smith: Kurt.
Kurt: No. I make love with the man, not the woman.
Harry Crane: So Kurt is a pervert. How about that?
Peggy Olson: I don’t know why I pick the wrong boys.
Kurt Smith: You’re drinking sad.
Pete Campbell: You look different.
Peggy Olson: It’s my hair.
Ken Cosgrove: Kurt’s a homo.
Roger Sterling (to Duck Philips): Really. Is this as solid as American Airlines?
Don Draper: Hello, it’s Dick Whitman.
2:12 The Mountain King
Sally Draper: You’re hurting me.
Betty Draper: Good.
Peggy Olson: Let me tell you something, the Catholic Church knows how to sell things.
Bertram Cooper: Dammit, Alice I don’t ask much of you.
Alice Cooper: My stockings cost more than your carpeting.
Alice Cooper: Let Roger Sterling have what he always wanted, to die in the arms of a twenty year-old.
Anna Draper: What happened?
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: He was killed in combat.
Anna: So who are you?
Don/Dick: They thought I was him and he was me. I didn’t think I was hurting anyone.
Anna: Can’t believe it.
Don/Dick: I just had to get out of there.
Anna Draper to Don Draper/Dick Whitman: You like the porch? You paid for it.
Anna Draper: I always felt that we met so that both of our lives could be better. That’s just how it is between us.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: I ruined everything. My family, my wife, kids.
Anna: I’m sure that’s not true.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: I have been watching my life. It’s right there. I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it. I can’t.
Anna Draper: Look at you, you’re in the lavender haze.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: I just like the way she laughs, and the way she looks at me.
Anna Draper: So, there’ll be another Mrs. Draper.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman (holding out Meditations in an Emergency) : Did you read it?
Anna Draper: I did. It reminded me of New York. And it made me worry about you.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: What about the cards? Should I be worried?
Anna Draper: It’s all here. You’re definitely in a strange place. But here’s the Sun.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman (points to Judgement card) : That can’t be good.
Anna Draper: It is.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: It’s the end of the world.
Anna Draper: It’s the resurrection. Do you want to know what this means, or not?
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: No, I don’t. I can smell the ocean.
Anna Draper (points to the World card) : This is the one.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman : Who’s she?
Anna Draper: Shes the soul of the world. She’s in a very important spot here. This is you; what you are bringing to the reading. She says you are part of the world. Air, water, every living thing is connected to you.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: It’s a nice thought.
Anna Draper: It is.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: What does it mean?
Anna Draper: It means the only thing keeping you from being happy is the belief that you are alone.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: What if it’s true?
Anna Draper: Then you can change.
Don Draper/Dick Whitman: People don’t change.
Anna Draper: I think she stands for wisdom. Once you live, you learn things.
Betty Draper: There’s a difference between wanting and having.
Roger Sterling: You young women are very aggressive.
Peggy Olson: Oh, I didn’t mean to be impolite.
Roger: No, it’s cute. There are thirty men out there who didn’t have the balls to ask me.
Alice Cooper: Where’s Mr. Draper?
Roger Sterling: Do you want me to go get a picture of him so you can stare at it?
Alice Cooper: You have your children to think of.
Roger Sterling: I just have the one.
Peggy Olson: How was Mississippi?
Paul Kinsey: I think we made a difference, and it was the adventure of a lifetime.
Harry Crane: Sheila dropped him three days into it.
Betty Draper: Sally now that you’re a big girl, I’m going to tell you something. Your father and I are having a disagreement. And he went away.
Sally Draper: Where did he go?
Betty: I’m not sure.
Sally: When is he coming home?
Betty: I don’t know. I know it’s hard to understand, but I promise everything is going to be okay.
Pete Campbell: How the hell did you swing this?
Peggy Olson: I’m sleeping with Don. It’s really working out.
2:13 Meditations in an Emergency
Betty Draper: Dr. Aldrich, I can’t have a baby right now.
Dr. Aldrich: Mrs. Draper, if we’re having the conversation I think we’re having, there are alternatives obviously. But I find it hard to believe that as a married woman of means you would even be considering that. That is an option for young girls who have no other option.
Ken Cosgrove: I’d love to go to California. I could get a convertible.
Harry Crane: If Kennedy’s speech goes past 8:30 that’s Lucy, then Danny Thomas, then Andy Griffith. I’ll take it in the shorts.
Peggy Olson: Pete, just tell the truth, don’t worry about the outcome. People respect that.
Duck: I’d like you to replace me as Head of Accounts. I’m trusting you with this information, because I’m going to be the president of the new Sterling Cooper
Duck: Congratulations to you.
Betty Draper: Where have you been? You disappeared.
Don Draper: I had to have some time to think about things.
Betty: Must be nice. Needing time and just taking it, all on your own terms, not wondering what anybody thinks. Me, the children
Don: Bets—I’d do anything I could to undo what happened
Betty: What happened?
Don: I was not respectful to you.
Betty: Well, now I know I’m not crazy, that helps.
Don: I can’t walk away from this, I want to be with you, I want to be together again.
Betty: (shakes head) I don’t know. Honestly, things haven’t been that different without you.
Duck Philips: That’s why God put non-compete clauses in contracts.
Don Draper: Hello, Peggy.
Peggy Olson: You look well. How was California?
Don: Sunny. (Eyeing her office) Do I work for you now?
Peggy: I hope it’s okay. Mr. Sterling gave me permission to switch. I landed the Popsicle account.
Don: So, other than her office and haircut, is there anything new I need to know about?
Don Draper (to Pete Campbell): Did you ever think I left you there because I thought you could handle it?
Roger Sterling: Kennedy’s daring them to bomb us, right when I get a second chance.
Don Draper: We don’t know what’s really going on. You know that.
Francine Hanson: Betty, you’re wan. Do you want a Miltown? It’s the only thing that’s keeping me from chewing my nails off.
Paul Kinsey: Everyone’s looking at each other in the street.
Ken Cosgrove: They’re looking at you ˜cause you’ve got Castro’s beard.
Sally Draper: Mommy doesn’t like to eat.
Father Gill: Peggy, sometimes I feel He called me to this parish to reach you.
Peggy Olson: No, I didn’t know that.
Father Gill: Well it’s true. Hell is serious and very real and unless you unburden yourself you cannot know peace.
Peggy: I understand that, Father, but you’re upsetting me right now.
Father Gill: That is your guilt, Peggy. All that God wants is for you to reconcile with him. Don’t, don’t you understand that this could be the end of the world and you could go to Hell?
Peggy: I can’t believe that’s the way God is. Good night, Father.
Pete Campbell: This is ridiculous. If I’m going to die, I want to die in Manhattan.
Harry Crane: I talked to my father-in-law about it. Regime change is always tricky. You want to stay neutral. Loyalists are always hung and you don’t want to get caught in the fallout.
Paul Kinsey: What’s wrong with you? Are you loyal to anyone?
Harry: They don’t care about us. We’re just a bunch of salaries on a ledger. They’ll draw a line and get rid of everything below it.
Pete Campbell: You know they stopped a ship this morning. I bet the Russians are reconsidering now that we made a stand.
Duck Phillips (as Don leaves): Let him go. Take a second to find some kid who can write a prose poem to a potato chip.
Pete Campbell: Can I tell you the truth?
Peggy Olson: Why wouldn’t you?
Pete: You make it so hard.
Peggy: What are you talking about?
Pete: You. I’ve been thinking about everything that’s going on. And I thought, Who would care if I was gone. I mean, Trudy would care, but she doesn’t know me. But you do. And I know you. And I think you’re perfect.
Peggy: I’m not perfect Pete.
Pete: Yes you are. I wish I’d picked you then.
Pete: I love you. And I want to be with you. What? Didn’t you know that?
Peggy: Pete. I could have had you in my life forever if I wanted to.
Pete: What do you mean?
Peggy: I could have had you. I could have shamed you into being with me. But I didn’t want to.
Pete: I don’t understand.
Peggy: You got me pregnant. I had a baby. And I gave it away.
Peggy: I had your baby. And I gave it away.
Pete: Are you serious?
Pete: You can’t be serious!
Peggy: I wanted other things.
Pete: I don’t understand.
Peggy: Well, one day you’re there and then all of a sudden there’s less of you. And you wonder where that part went, if it’s living somewhere outside of you, and you keep thinking maybe you’ll get it back. And then you realize, it’s just gone.
Pete: Why would you tell me that?
Peggy: I’m sorry Pete.