Nov 092015

Alexandra Breckenridge as Jessie Anderson - The Walking Dead _ Season 6, Episode 5 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Don’t adjust your browsers. A walker did not get into the title, don’t worry. That’s just The Walking Dead episode 6.05, Now, dragging its zombie foot around on my last damn post-apocalyptic nerve.

Now is not only not my least favorite episode of season 6: It actually reminds me of season 2, what with all the preachy touches and the life lessons and the NO BADASS CAROL OR MICHONNE.

We don’t know where Glenn is. We haven’t seen Daryl, Sasha, or Abraham. We’ve seen Michonne, we saw Morgan ever so briefly, and Rick’s watching everything from the wall, muttering glumly into his walkie-talkie or hanging around places he shouldn’t, like Jessie’s garage (more on that later). And did I mention that we don’t know where, or how, Glenn is? We STILL don’t know where Glenn is.

My goodness. Where are my manners? I should be telling you what actually does happen on The Walking Dead this week. We have …

Shooting! Jessie’s son Surly Ron asks Rick to teach him how to shoot, and Rick obliges. (The walkers are now teeming outside the walls of Alexandria.) It’s kind of a surprising moment, since Ron rarely goes anywhere unless his mother has set a plate of warm cookies out for him first. Something tells me Ron has a very personal interest in learning how to shoot from Rick himself — and that Rick will one day be very sorry he agreed.

Walker stabbing, and also Latin! Deanna doesn’t know about going for the zombie head. Rick shows her how, after she pretty much eviscerates a walker with a broken bottle. “I want to live,” she blurts, her eyes burning with a kind of mad fire. Rick doesn’t seem to know how to respond to this, and for once I kind of feel for him. I wouldn’t know what to say either.

Deanna also has plans to redesign Alexandria, as we see when she sketches some ideas in a burst of loss, inspiration, and Latin. “Dolor hic tibi proderit olim,” she scrawls beneath her new design, underlining it for emphasis:

Someday this pain will be useful to you. – Deanna (by way of Ovid)

Doctoring! New-doctor Denise is suffering a crisis of confidence. Her patient looks likely to die, but all she wants to do is go back to reading Russian fiction and wallowing. Later that day, she happens to be passing when Jessie discovers, and is forced to kill, a young female zombie. Jessie, realizing she’s drawn a crowd, gives a little speech. As you do.

This is what life looks like now. If we don’t fight, we die. – Jessie

Excuse me? Supercuts? If I may. One of us is still putting plates of cookies outside her sons’ doors in the middle of the zombie damnpocalypse, and it ain’t me.

But something about this speech resonates with Denise, who catches a sort of second medical wind, finds the answer to her ailing patient’s issue in a book, and administers the right drug. He lives. She celebrates by finding Tara, kissing her right on the mouth, and telling her that “being scared sucks.” Just curious: has anyone informed Denise that she’s on a show called The Walking Dead?

Sewer Exploring! Maggie decides to go looking for Glenn — whose name, depressingly enough, has been written on Alexandria’s Wall of the Dead. Aaron insists on joining her. He shows Maggie the way “under the wall” — the old sewer out — where they soon encounter Sewer Zombies One and Two. (Gross.) They get all the way to the gate at the end, where Maggie balks. “No,” she tells Aaron. “NO.”

It’s over … I don’t get to know what will happen. I don’t get to know why it happened, what I did right or wrong. I have to live with that. You do too. – Maggie

I don’t know how much digging through trash you’ve done in your life. I’ve done quite a bit of it lately. You get used to seeing meaningless things — but then maybe, suddenly, you hit magic. You find something that answers a question, gives you hope, whatever. In the trash that filled this episode (like endless, pointless, monotonous garage kisses?), that line was magic. I don’t get to know. That’s fine. That’s enough. It has to be.

Final episode thoughts:

  • Where the hell is Carol? When cookies get baked and the law gets laid in Alexandria, I think Carol should make sure it’s all being done properly.
  • I actively oppose Jessie and Rick as a couple. If I could nominate another to run in their place, I would. Denise and Tara, get ready to scrub in.
  • I can’t say this often enough: These survivor people have GOT to get more careful about closing doors. (Garage doors, for example. While kissing at night, for example, while the creepy son one of you just offered shooting lessons to is … somewhere! Impatiently waiting for his next batch of cookies!) This is THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. There is actually no safe place to get your groove on, you know? Close the door.
  • For the record, Rick? Stay out of Jessie’s garage. Nothing good has ever happened there. I feel like this needs to be one of those end-times rules, on the order of “always aim for the head” and “everybody turns”: nothing good ever happens in Jessie’s garage.
  • Ron is up to no good. At the very least, he’s going to try to kill Rick, if not manage to kill his own mother (for whom he seems to have very little respect). Where’s Carol when you need her, for that direct eye contact and bracing adult-to-kid straight talk?
  • Deanna’s arc from grief to fury is impressive. She seems less afraid of the walkers than absolutely livid at their continued presence. Right there at the end? When she approaches that chain-link fence and slaps it? I feel like she wants to make a huge art installation out of all of them. Just encase them all in suffocating Lucite as a warning to all others, living and dead. She’d call it In Thrall: A Meditation.

  7 Responses to “The Walking Dead Recap: 605, Uuuuugggghhhhhhh”

  1. I think Jessie and Ron are working together re: Rick

  2. ‘Cause she’s watching him with those eyes
    And she’s lovin’ him with that body, I just know it!
    And he’s holding her in his arms late, late at night

    But you better stay out of JESSIE’S GARAGE

    • DO NOT. Make me post that video.

      It’s the one thing that could make a really bad episode the worst episode of all time.

  3. I know we wanted more from this episode but I think we better be careful what we wish for.

  4. I am totally ‘shipping Denise and Tara. MORE LESBIANS is what this show (and all the other shows) need.

    Denise didn’t find the right medicine for Plot Device Guy. She figured out she could–wait for it–drain the pus with a needle. She was sucking pus. HAWT.

  5. Latinam amo. If Glenn is dead presumably the zombies would have finished devouring him a la Laurie. Then how would anyone ever know? And how would the viewers, given the ambiguous official comment, ever know?

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