Walking Dead Recap: Lock the Doors

 Posted by on October 27, 2014 at 3:02 am  The Walking Dead
Oct 272014

walking-dead-season-5-episode-3-four-walls-and-roof-onlineMore Gareth? WHY?

This was my first question of episode 4. Understand: I live in San Francisco, where thousands of Gareth clones are now remaking my home city according to their own arrogant specifications. Yelling into their cellphones. Ordering four-star takeout food from their Minis. Planning to build condos on top of our world-famous Flower Mart.


I think pretty people taste better. – Gareth

Of course you do, you freaking soulless bureaucrat of the post-apocalyptic South. But the natives of this place have a surprise for you:

You’re eatin’ tainted meat! – Bob to Gareth

The Terminus goons are understandably unhappy to learn that Bob did not provide them with the organic dinner they ordered. And perhaps the zombie virus is fast-acting, because Gareth and his storm troopers make a colossal strategic mistake: They drop Bob back off at the church door, grievously wounded but alive.

Did they really expect their dinner guest to go Full Zombie on his friends and family? That is just not a Bob thing to do!

I knew when I told you, it’d become all about the end. And I reallllly like the middle. – Bob to Sasha

Yes: Sweet, bright-side Bob gets about as dignified a death as a person can have in the post-zombie-apocalypse world, complete with loving goodbyes to all his people. This doesn’t go over well with Abraham, who insists on getting Eugene to Washington immediately:

Come high noon, we’re taillights. No waitin’ for the other damn shoe to drop. – Abraham

First, the survivor group has to hold the fort (or church) when the Terminus goons come for them. They don’t have long to wait: Soon enough Martin’s breaking into the church, and Gareth is running his damn mouth. What did this guy do for a job, before things fell apart? Pharmaceutical sales? Homes of the Stars tour guide in Hollywood? NFL commentator?

While Gareth’s making every possible bad choice — calling out the survivors by name, announcing that he and his pals are armed — the survivor crew is waiting. They let this fool burn through his bravado, until he and his team are as scared as they once were. They don’t strike until Judith cries, and then they move in. Quickly. Brutally:

Put your guns on the floor and KNEEL. – Rick

Three of the five Terminus goons die within seconds of the survivor team’s advance. Ballcap Hayseed (okay: “Martin”) and Gareth stick around for a little bit, if just to bargain with the survivors. Gareth thinks there’s a chance of getting out of even this alive, since Rick’s team had not returned to Terminus to finish them off. Rick’s explanation — their ammunition was worth more — is both beautifully simple, and the coldest thing in the dark new world.

We used to help people. WE SAVED PEOPLE. Then things changed … they came in and … Look, you don’t know what it is to be hungry. – Gareth

Rick doesn’t want to hear it. Any of it. “You would have done this to anyone,” he says, and that’s it for Gareth. Death by katana knife was way too good for this guy. I would have preferred to see his armless torso at the end of one of Michonne’s zombie leashes.

The killings in the church don’t appeal to all of the survivors:

But … this is the Lord’s house! – Father Gabriel

This cautious man of God, whose care for his church outweighed his love for any member of his congregation, has lost his bearings. This is clearly not the afterlife he expected, and his abundance of caution no longer works even as a survival strategy. It’s made him weird. When he later meets Michonne on the church steps, confessing that he can’t sleep, it’s clear who’s counseling whom.

I locked the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night … You see? It was my choice. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors. – Father Gabriel

Final episode thoughts:

  • The completely unofficial results of last week’s collective noun poll: A large group of zombies is henceforth a SWARM or a STAGGER; a small group of zombies is A DRAG or A DEPARTMENTAL COMPLIANCE MEETING. (pounds gavel)
  • Baby Asskicker has the best Cry Timing of any child I’ve ever met.
  • Daryl, do you and Carol have something to share with the class?! (Yes, I completely believe that Carol is with our muscled friend; he’d be a lot more upset if she were not.) You’d better have a signed note from someone at that hospital we’re going to visit next week, explaining your absence!
  • Now that the team’s split up again, who here thinks Operation Get Emmett to Washington sounds like a complete waste of time and resources? (raises hand)
  • What DID Gareth do for a living before the zombiepocalypse? I’m going to go with pharmaceutcial sales. Or! Pharmaceutical sales app developer.

  5 Responses to “Walking Dead Recap: Lock the Doors”

  1. I need to rewatch, but I’m having a difficult time believing Maggie and Glen would leave with Daryl and Carol missing. Yes, Rick is scary. Yes, it might be time for a meaningful path. I can understand why they’d leave, just not that they would leave now. If they get down the road a couple hours and turn around, this show will have officially jumped the tracks.

    • I haven’t paid enough attention to either Maggie or Glen lately: I’ve been more concerned with the changes in Rick (who’s gone in one direction) and Tyrese (who’s gone the precise other way). So perhaps I don’t really have an argument here.

      But I think Maggie and Glen have more to gain by going — they’re reproductive age and committed to each other, and Glen has always been strategic. They also have fewer reasons to stay with the group: Judith is less “their baby” than everyone else’s, and their relationships with the others are stable. I think that Glen and Maggie trust the group to survive without them — and vice versa.

      I’m further betting that Glen is the one behind the map that Abraham gave Rick. That’s a classic geek move, right there. Glen obviously had a pre-apocalypse sideline in tech support. :)

  2. Would anyone care to speculate about how long it would take to get from the greater Atlanta area to Washington, along the interstate, with literally zero traffic? Two or three days? Incidentally gasoline would become useless after a certain time from chemical change.

    • We’ve seen that the interstate is clogged with dead cars. I would assume quicker, or at least less frustrating, travel on the state highways and backroads. That old bus would get 2-3MPG (yes, two or three). Anyone ever rented even a small Uhaul gasoline truck? They eat gas. I don’t think it would be out of the question to estimate up to a couple weeks.

      • I;, for one, never have rented a small Uhaul gasoline truck. I obviously should have thought out the logistics of this in the world of The Walking Dead more.

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