Homeland Recap: 210, I’m Killing You

 Posted by on December 4, 2012 at 9:00 am  Homeland
Dec 042012

The adorably named Broken Hearts episode of Homeland made me so happy that for once, I didn’t mind its numerous improbabilities. Like this one: reanimating the corpse of Danny Galvez and sticking him back in CIA headquarters, on full zombie duty (“I wanna help … eat your braaaaiins”). I am telling you, Basketcases: I watched that happen and I was fine with it. 

The hour starts with Saul, paying Dar Adal Of The Black Ops a visit. The most shadowy figure in U.S. intelligence never stays in one place for long, but he evidently eats breakfast at the same diner every morning. That’s helpful!

Saul, who may be as obsessed with Quinn as Carrie ever was with Brody, asks his creepy old pal about him. But Dar Adal gives as good as he gets: “Maybe Estes put Quinn in there because he doesn’t trust you,” he says. “I’m amazed you’ve lasted this long.” On this, Saul agrees.

Cut to Jess and Mike. I must have nodded off here: the last thing I remember is Jess saying to Mike, “Last night … it was fun.” Next thing I know, Brody’s there with them. “Nice place! Thanks for your help, Mike!”

It sucks to be Mike.

Brody’s barely had time to greet his kids when Carrie calls to check in. They exchange quiet how-are-you-I’m-fines, yes-I’m-good-with-resigning-from-Congress pleasantries, and then hang up. Seconds later Carrie’s car gets t-boned by a van. I hope you’re down with this sudden shift from Neutral to Overdrive: we’ll be here for a while.

Meanwhile! A proud Estes is addressing a chipper group of CIA spies. They’re all very pleased with themselves for taking down Terrorist Roya and her Team of Death, but Estes warns them that Nazir is still at large. He’s not all business, though: Estes promises the team he’s gonna get drunk. I guess that’s just what The Mole does when The Mole bowls a strike.

Saul is a bit off his game this week: he harshes the afterglow of that pep talk by confronting Estes about Quinn. Saul’s figured out that Quinn is the designated keeper of Walden’s secret; he wants to know how far Estes is willing to go to manage it. As if by magic, Quinn himself appears, to inform the two of them that Carrie’s car is wrecked and she’s missing. As Saul takes off after his daughter protegee, Estes intones to Quinn, “He knows.”

Over in Lackluster Heights, Dana is just getting word that Finn wants to see her when Brody also gets a call. It’s Nazir. Nazir has Carrie. (Wait, why would Nazir have Carrie?) A suddenly illogical Brody completely freaks out.

Of course Nazir needs Brody to do something complicated. His plan is bonkers, but so pure in its intentions I can’t find it in my heart to hate the guy. Does it matter that he wouldn’t know Carrie Mathison if she walked up to him and started yelling about green pens? Who cares that he’s got Carrie, who means nothing to him, tied to a piece of rebar in a factory that made metal skates in the 1950’s? Dude’s got a genius plan!

In Walden’s office, Nazir tells Brody, there is a box. In that box there is a code. That code will stop the pacemaker inside the chest of Vice President Walden. Nazir simply needs his right-hand man to retrieve that code and send it along, and I have absolutely no problem with any of this. We should have done it months ago. Years ago! Anytime between 2001 and 2008 would have worked for me.

Saul, at the scene of Carrie’s accident, finds her phone on the floor of the car and dials the last number: it’s Brody, of course. Brody recounts his discussion with Carrie word for word (yes, I’ll surrender the VP spot; yup, quitting Congress), then he and his CIA guard continue to Walden’s place. I think this is the point where I went and opened that champagne I’ve had chilling since 2005, you guys.

How’s our other crime-scene couple doing? Dana’s giving Finn a rundown of recent events: “My dad’s like a superspy? Terrorists wanna kill him, and shit?” Dana is so mad, she could seriously just sit there and look at her shoes for a very long time.

Finn’s life is falling apart and he’s torn up inside, all of which he calmly explains to Dana in the measured tones of a guy who’s been rehearsing it for weeks. He wants to start over, but Dana shuts that down. “We killed it,” she says.

Speaking of killing it! Danny Galvez, you sneaky undead bastard! Quinn reacts to the reappearance of his old pal with predictable shock, but the guy’s still on the team. I guess when a zombie wants to help you track down the world’s number-one terrorist, and/or find your missing colleague who is also the terrorist’s hostage, you let the zombie help?

About time someone got moving on the Nazir-Mathison thing. Those two are throwing down: “You pervert the teachings of the prophet and call it a cause.” “You bomb us, starve us, occupy our holy places, and your cars are built with entirely too many cupholders.” “Who’s a terrorist? You’re a terrorist.” (This goes on for a while.)

On the upside, Brody’s arrived at Walden’s huge house and slipped into the office. He looks around, locates a box that looks something like the one on the right here, but he can’t read the number inside. Then he remembers he’s a Marine, gets the number and calls Nazir.

Yes. That is what he does. Right in the office of the Vice President, a United States Congressman working with the CIA just whips out his untracked cell phone and dials up the most wanted man on Earth. If I weren’t so into this scene I’d throw the remote at the TV, but then what would I do with all this champagne?

Nazir and Brody argue for a while over the number and the girl (“If you kill her, you will never get this number!” “I will kill her in five seconds!!”), but finally Nazir lets Carrie go and Brody gives it up. Seconds after he’s stowed the pacemaker box, Walden pops in.

“Another week or so, we’ll be ready to deliver the bunker-buster,” brags the VP. Still on track to destroy all life south of the Caspian Sea, huh? Think you can get it done in the next five minutes?

Brody watches it happen. Moves in close. “I want to feel clean again,” he tells his pretend best friend. “I pretty much disagree with everything you say and do.” Walden’s reeling around the office now. It’s working, you guys! It’s working!

“Don’t you get it? I’m killing you,” Brody hisses. As he watches Walden die on the carpet, your West Coast recapper scribbles “UNDISCLOSED LOCATION: HELL” in her notebook, and drains her glass.

A few other things happen (“The Vice President’s having a heart attack!” Nick Brody’s right there for you, Dead VP Walden!), but I have a hard time caring about any of them. Maybe because I’m drunk?

Of course those things matter. It certainly matters that Carrie, captured by Abu Nazir, terrorized and threatened with death, would react to her sudden freedom by running out to the road and yelling at motorists. “Asshole!” she screams, drawing in deep breaths of the sweet night air. I am sure she is thanking the gods for her life as she accosts a trucker: “Give me your FUCKING cellphone!”

After she’s delivered her coordinates to Saul and thrown the Fucking Cellphone in the road, Carrie runs right back into the former headquarters of Speed King Metal Skates and Lawn Darts, Inc., in search of Nazir. She does this because she is a spy before all else, and because she is nuts.

Finally, this also matters: Saul can’t join Deputy Mole Quinn, Assistant Deputy Mole Zombie Galvez, and the rest of the team on the Carrie rescue run. He is detained by a couple of thug types who want to take him upstairs, or maybe downstairs, for a little chat. You guys, this could be bad! I don’t know what they’ve got on Saul, but there is an excellent chance he’ll sing like a canary. As only he can.

This week … what am I not wondering?

  • What are those thugs gonna do to my Saul? I don’t want to have to kick some thug ass.
  • Galvez is the mole again, right?
  • Zombie mole or live mole: which do you think is worse?
  • What’s it gonna take to get me into this show again? I’m out of good champagne.
  • Anyone else kind of looking forward to seeing Roya again?
  • Just spitballing here. Purely rhetorical question. Do you think former real-life vice presidents also keep the quit codes to their pacemakers in boxes inside their unguarded offices?

I have got to find me a Marine.


  15 Responses to “Homeland Recap: 210, I’m Killing You”

  1. Great recap. My favorite line: ” I guess that’s just what The Mole does when The Mole bowls a strike.” We’re talking a drone strike here, yes?

  2. Well, All Right Anne! You had a great time writing this one!

    (my favorite line – straight out of Mad Magazine – “your cars are built with entirely too many cupholders.”)

    As for your bubbly shortage, I suggest with some Mad Men favorites.

    Betty – a Gimlet (excellent, if you make your own simple syrup with fresh lime juice)
    Joan – a Ginn Fizz
    Roger – a Gibson (I recommend Tanqueray No. Ten – and sniff the vermouth)
    Don – an Old Fashioned (Old Overholt rye is cheap and works well with bitters)
    Don again – something Big and Brown

    • My husband makes a great Old Fashioned. Three sips and it’s all over for you.

      I think I’ll order a pitcher of those for next week.

      • Drunk Homeland is a great idea. I think I’ll try this for next Sunday… I’ll have a Maker’s Mark Manhattan at the ready.

        • Like Don Draper when I drink “brown” (scotch, bourbon/straight whisky, irish, rye) – it’s up. I always thought Maker’s Mark to be rough (more like Beam) for the money. I like better Knob Creek and the Kirkland Straight Whisky. Manhattan’s are fun but I tried something else that I haven’t found a name for – dry white wine and rye – Dry and Rye?

          • I do love Knob Creek as well. I usually have mine on the rocks…

            Well, now I can’t wait for Sunday again! Maybe I’ll do a dry run tonight. A Homeland repeat, with some “dry and rye”.

      • Recipe?

        Mine consist of 2-oz. rye, 8-10 drops bitters, only a half tsp sugar. Stir this unti the sugar dissolves. Puor over ice – splash in Perrier – and crush a fat slice of orange.

        Before that I mostly mixed with no seltzer/Perrier and no orange – a strong drink.

        • Muddle 1 tsp sugar (a cube crunches better but is more work) with bitters and a little water (1 Tbsp). Add rye, 100 proof whenever possible (Rittenhouse is nice, and affordable). Add ice, top with lemon zest and a maraschino cherry.

          Kampai !

  3. This is brilliant – the best blog about the show. It only adds to the (guilty) pleasure of watching Homeland – anticipating your review. Do you think Estes will/would off Carrie (as well as Brodie)? I am going to have to watch every show you discuss.

  4. Glavez the “Molzombie” dear Jesus! This show is starting to dull like the edge of a liberal’s gun agenda. Message to the Producers: Details. Details.

    Homeland has so far followed a flightpath plot line that has achieved more logic than the Lunar Module’s computer calculated on landing. Episode Broken Hearts has certainly been a disaster of Nasa proportion by any measure. I felt radiated as if the megatons of nuclear confusion that spread the years of ABC’s Lost series rained down again and I had no iodine tablets to grab. This show really slipped in the Episode Broken Hearts.

    I initially became addicted to the series noting its DNA of plausibilty that set it apart from the usual run of garbage littering my $121 monthly cable selection. ($121? I know, Dish/Direct? Both still seem cloudy.) I smelled a Deadwood-like rock solid plot – albeit adapted from a much muckier Israeli reality – that was submerged in cool potentially realistic interactions, methods, and characters (Although, I don’t Carries character would have made it pass the exam.) It’s slipping folks, it’s slipping.

    Anyway, what would reverse it all? Had the serial number been wrong. Had Walden really had a heart attack when faced with Brody retracting – perhaps based on the fear of Brody relenting the whinny daughter to confess her ‘passive’ assistance in an accidental death that the VP paid away for the Presidency? Perhaps, Walden would live? Only to remember Brody’s sedacious confession? Or maybe Molzombie Galvez had showed up only to be turned away – but enough to arise suspicion of the mute-man that stalked him with a passion? OR – maybe the biggest spy since Benedict Arnold – would have still have had his phone tapped 24/7 – even if the magic Skype had to be blocked! I digress. Several more to mention, but again – all the hookieness is a sure sign that someone calling the shots is telling the writers to make this thing happen again next season – don’t let it die like Deadwood – ahh the agony. While the Episode makes for downright sloppy Spy-Vs-Spy in a realistic sense, this Episode is a dead on real deal for Hollywood next season-or-two material.

    My advice to the producers, get back to the details. Keep it believable – believeable for the fans that are paying the cable bill. Not the wifes, sons, and daughters that have caught on to Dad’s Sunday night secret. Otherwise, call in JJ Abrahms and get Lost. Just don’t take seven-something seasons to do it.

    • Anyway, what would reverse it all? Had the serial number been wrong. Had Walden really had a heart attack when faced with Brody retracting – perhaps based on the fear of Brody relenting the whinny daughter to confess her ‘passive’ assistance in an accidental death that the VP paid away for the Presidency?

      I love the rabbit hole you go down here. 🙂

      You bet we need believability to continue to really care. Sure, we can care about things that don’t make much sense (I remember watching a movie called Air Force One, knowing the whole time that nothing like that could ever happen, but still on the edge of my seat), but it’s a different kind of caring. That’s the kind of caring you do on an amusement park ride: it’s fun, but you learn nothing from it.

      I really don’t think I can take another Homeland season like this one. As a recapper, I know that for sure.

      • This is the one guy who can’t wait to see Roya. Maybe she could be turned into Brody’s love/sm interest? Or Quinn the Merciless’ssssss?
        Saul is the only character keeping this thing from being a full blown live action cartoon. That’s why he will probably get zapped by scumbag Estes. It’ll add, you know, HEFT to Carrie’s existential suffering next year, and whatnot.
        God, I love Roya.
        Dana is full of shit. If she were facing jail time, she’d want SOMEBODY to do SOMETHING to save her precious hide. Im waiting for the faux suicide attempt. Enough with her, I’m washing my hands.
        Can’t wait for next season’s scintillating plotlines: Carrie gets preggers, Jess gets preggers by Mike. Ultrasound reveals fetus doing knitting—it’s that bored. Dana gets preggers by………. Nazir captures them all, and opens a nursery.
        Peyton List joins cast as new hot, possibly double agent analyst, who bonds with Carrie over expired yogurt, and love of Cannonball Adderley. tilden katz watches every episode 97 kajillion times. P-E-Y-T-O-N L-I-S-T.
        Did I just refer to myself in the third person?
        Where is my vodka?

        • Carrie gets preggers, Jess gets preggers by Mike. Ultrasound reveals fetus doing knitting—it’s that bored. Dana gets preggers by………. Nazir captures them all, and opens a nursery.

          God, I would watch that show so hard.

          • These recaps, yo, just Noel Coward brilliant. You must get so bored, hearing the praise from us mere mortals, but my Gawd.
            And then you carry around that mug, just to rub it in!?
            You is blessed, girl.
            Please keep these going, cause they definitely make my week.


    favorite line: “We should have done it months ago. Years ago! Anytime between 2001 and 2008 would have worked for me.”

    Amen, sister!

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