The theme that cuts across all of American male life is ‘not living up to some standard’.
- Marshall Herskovitz
Man Of The House, the second episode in the excellent PBS series America in Primetime, premiered on PBS last Sunday night. Now midway though its four-week run, the series has already examined women on TV in “Independent Woman”; this week men are the subject. Among the experts on hand to to discuss it: Mad Men‘s Matt Weiner, Jon Hamm, and Elisabeth Moss. The episode, tightly edited and fast-moving, covers a lot of ground in an hour.
It begins with a look at husband-and-fathers past — the fool of The Honeymooners, the blowhard of All In The Family, sweet Michael of thirtysomething, centered, in-control Cliff Huxtable — and ends with the troubled men of cable: Tony Soprano, Don Draper, and Walter White.
“They had no relationship you would want to live in,” says Carl Reiner of television men in his youth (Father Knows Best, Leave It To Beaver, I Love Lucy). Adds Ron Howard, on The Andy Griffith Show: “It was already nostalgic when we were doing it.” But for some, elements of life-on-TV hit home. David Chase (The Sopranos), recalls long evenings with his dictatorial grandfather, watching The Honeymooners‘ own bumbling patriarch afterward, and seeing some similarities.
The reign of Ward Cleaver and Ralph Kramden over the TV household did not last.
“A lot of things changed. It’s important to remember … that in 1968, there were a lot of people who thought we were gonna have civil war,” recalls Marshall Herskovitz of thirtysomething. “America was fractured.” On TV as in life, American men underwent real changes.
“The straight-down, patriarchal, ‘Father-Knows-Best’ idea wasn’t really holding water anymore,” says Jon Hamm. “You pave the way for alternative views, whether it was All in the Family or Good Times.”
Poor Archie Bunker. “[He] thought he had it under control, but the rules kept changing,” laughs Larry Wilmore (of The Bernie Mac Show, The Daily Show, and others). “That was kind of the fun of seeing him insisting he was the king of his castle, not realizing it wasn’t even a castle anymore. It had been re-zoned as something else.”
By the 1980′s, TV watchers were seeking something different from men on TV. Warren Littlefield, Marcy Carsey, and others recall taping the pilot of The Cosby Show before a live audience that had not seen a certain kind of family dynamic on screen in years, if ever. “I felt, rolling through the audience, this roar of approval,” says Littlefield. “Finally, a dad who had some balls.”
Today’s television man is a breed apart. “He is at his foundation lying about who he is,” Jon says of Don Draper. Don is on a continuum with Tony Soprano and Breaking Bad’s Walter White: men who try hard to care for their spouses and children, but get lost somewhere between that intent and its execution. It doesn’t really work to call them conflicted; they are liars, in ways large and small, and often much worse. At the same time, something in them is deeply familiar to us.
Familiar and poignant: the scenes that introduce Mad Men‘s Don Draper are dark. “This man is in a panic inside, and he’s falling,” says Matt Weiner. “But he has the appearance of ultimate confidence.”
Probably no one feels this paradox more than Jon Hamm. “Happiness is a fundamental desire in human beings, but it has to be earned,” Jon says, “through a far deeper connection with your life and the people in your life.” He knows where Don Draper goes missing, why he isn’t happy, the downside to the midcentury American dream.
Near the end of the hour, Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond, Men Of A Certain Age) invokes Sisyphus, the rock, the hill. “That’s what he spends his whole life doing, and that may seem horrible, but ultimately he’s happy, Sisyphus, because he has a job, he has something to focus on … something to accomplish.”
At the dawn of the medium, TV’s Man Of The House moved between his successful career and an equally successful home (happy, capable wife; respectful children). Now our Man Of The House is Sisyphus: overwhelmed, filled with doubt and longing, perhaps just happy to have what he has.
Watch full episodes of America In Primetime online, and tune in to your PBS station on Sundays (8 p.m, 7 Central) for new episodes.
Anne B,
Thanks so much for posting this and especially the links to watch online. I’ve been watching these as they are broadcast, and they do move very quickly. I was going to wait for them to be rebroadcast on PBS as they usually are.
I have to admit that I feel so MM-deprived (and a tad depraved) that when the segments with Jon Hamm came on they were lit in such a way that I found it difficult to pay attention to what he was actually saying because I was distracted by his “hammsomeness.” He also seemed especially intense in his comments about Don Draper, particularly on the issue of happiness compared to other things I’ve seen and read by him on the topic. Thanks for including the quotes.
We had the Jon-Hamm-is-distracting effect going on up in here, too. I was paying attention — I was — but still. In the words of my husband, “Your Popsicle is melting.”
I bet he’s melted quite a few Popsicles.
Just started watching Episode 2. Thank you so much for bringing it to my attention!!! This site really is awesome.
well done Anne B.
I have long thought that the three archetypal characters of recent television excellence, Soprano, White and Draper, form a pantheon of American males. They illustrate where the male homo sapiens fails to fit in the spaces allocated to him in modern society.
I wanted to add a thought. A scandalous thought. Perhaps something many women could not consider or countenance.
As you say, they are “men who try hard to care for their spouses and children, but get lost somewhere between that intent and its execution.” I am not so sure that providing for family is high on their list .
There. I said it.
Now don’t get me wrong, all three are providing, in abundance. But I’m not sure that’s part of the internal monologue. They have occupations that are remunerative, which they have fought hard to establish. Extremely hard. In fact they have not hesitated to kill to stay on top.
And yes, they are liars. But to me it goes deeper, they also see that society as a whole is a sham. And Don Draper is more than a liar, he is a full-blown imposter. All three have lives that are not integrated or emotionally whole. Their relationships are piecework mosaics of love, sex and intimacy. Their children are strangers. Relatives are inferior, parasitic beings. Their livelihoods are tissues devoid of meaning.
This is why we rarely see any of them happy or satisfied.
Just finished watching the last episode of this series. I wanted to come back here in hopes that people would see this comment and decide to watch. All four episodes are excellent. What interesting perspectives about television, from today’s TV back to the shows of the late ’40s and ’50s. Highly recommended, I wish it wasn’t over.