Oct 052010

Hey kids! After I made a silly little collage the other week, I felt an incredible urge to make more collages of how we may see how our favorite MM character’s lives pan out, like 10 years down the road. So after a week of trial and error, here’s my first one: our beloved Joan Holloway/Harris!!  Click on the collage to see the full image, and be sure to read the description so you won’t be saying “Whaaaaaa?”  I figured I better do Joan first since we’re still trying to figure out the baby situation.  Enjoy!

Joan’s Rollercoaster

Joan’s life has been a wild ride since ’65.  She secretly decided to keep Roger’s baby and conveniently took Harry’s offer to be his chief of public relations, managerial assistant and script reader when he had to move to L.A. only two weeks after her deception.  Harry was cool with her pregnancy and promised not to tell. Joan was all set to tell Greg about the baby as soon as he was to come home on leave that Christmas, but alas, just before he came home, Greg sustained severe head injuries and amnesia from shrapnel when a bomb went off at his Vietnamese M*A*S*H unit at China Beach.  Unfortunately, the only surgeon available to operate on him was an inept, aging surgeon (a Major Frank Burns), and within hours, a mistake made by Burns developed into an inner ear infection that spread to his brain, causing a brief coma and then death.   Joan was devastated, but determined to be the best mother for her baby, and gave birth to little Brian Harris on May 16, 1966.  She hired a Nanny and worked all the harder for SCDP West.  But working full time, sustaining a ‘happy face’ in the wake of the tragedy was too much for her, she had to get away from advertising, and she asked Harry to let her go. Harry was reluctant but understood, and for the next 2 years she found joy in her son, moved in with her old roommate Carol in New Mexico, and took a job as a waitress at Al’s Diner, making enough to live on between tips and Greg’s pension. One afternoon, famous Hollywood agent Swifty Lazar was stuck in New Mexico when his limo popped a tire to Vegas.  Joan’s sassy comments to the customers, and her (still) knock-out looks at 36 won him over completely, and she agreed to be his client; provided Carol could move with her as her nanny/assistant.  Carol was happy to follow Joan anywhere. Swifty took her to lots of parties to get her noticed.   The jobs, though small, were starting to trickle in.   She became the most famous Wonder Woman impersonator at the first Comic-Con in 1970, then a Dolly Parton impersonator in Nashville, where Roger caught her act one night.  He admitted he loved her and was wrong to let her go, she told him about Brian, and that he was welcome to visit, but only as a friend. Roger was both surprised and relieved at this, since he still didn’t want responsibility for the boy.  Joan sang “I’ll always love you”, but reminded him that that train had passed, and he let her go.   Swifty got more jobs for her. She and Carol both got to perform in a Pasadena Playhouse Production of “The Sound of Music”, where she scored rave reviews. Producer Cubby Broccoli was in the audience one night and insisted that she be in his next James bond picture; both Joan and Swifty were delighted, and before long , Joan was off to London to be Jill St. John’s stand–in in  “Diamonds are Forever” with Sean Connery. Connery took quite the shine to Ms. Holloway, (she took back her old name for the stage) and before long, she found herself preggers with Connery’s love child.   Sean, always the gentleman, offered marriage, but Joan said she’d be happy with a trust fund for the child, who turned out to be another boy, named James Sean Holloway. Now a mother of two, Joan realized that her acting career wasn’t going to go farther than being a sex symbol, and since she didn’t want to end up like Marilyn Monroe, she opted out of her contract, and contacted Harry about SCDP West. Harry was overjoyed to hear from her, for without Joan, SCDP West had collapsed without her expert management, losing contracts left and right, it needed a steady hand. Harry knew that Joan was good idea.  Joan agreed to come back, but only if he passed all the reins over to her, and SCDP West was reborn as HOLLOWAY MEDIA AND COPY, Joan got it all, loving sons, (who looked exactly like Ronnie Howard and Billy Mumy) and a million dollar company that succeeds to this day! She set up Carol with Joyce too and they’re very happy, and Joan still has Mister’s Connery and Sterling on her speed dial if needed.

Next Time:  Salvatore Romano!


  16 Responses to “Mad Men ’75! A crazy look ahead, Part One: Joan’s Journey To Joy.”

  1. I like it! Can’t wait for more “where are they now” posts.

  2. I’ve been thinking lately that Late Sixties Joan might look a lot like Jill St. John in Diamonds Are Forever, so I was tickled to see the “Oh, Sean” panel.

  3. Dana Delany, Wonder Woman, AND Joan? The only person missing from my childhood TV crushes is Samantha from Bewitched! Therese, it’s like you peeked into my brain…

  4. @#3,danceswosleeping, Maybe she’ll pop into someone else’s future! Thanks for the inspiration!

  5. Ha! I love it. You have an active imagination.

  6. I love the notion of Joan & Harry opening SCDP West! Don & Megan come west, while Peggy, Pete, and Lane hold down the East Coast. Ken travels between. And the thought of Harry & Don working for JOAN at Holloway Media & copy — too sweet!!

  7. I can’t stop laughing, what a journey. I love her with Sean, they look so happy together. A little lobotomized but still, very sweet.

  8. elaine, I adjusted CH’s photo in the Connery picture just enough so it’ll match a little better!(I think the key is in the eyebrows) What I found amazing was that I found a pic of CH in a nearly identical pose to that of JSJ in the Bond photo! Sometimes you just get lucky. But my favorite is using the glasses picture of Joan for the nun picture–Sister Mary Joan!

    Here’s the originals:

    and CH with GA, Awww (I reversed it)

  9. Shay, Thereshe, thish ish Sean Connery here. That’sh a shuperb little peische of art you put together there — top marksh!

    Only one minor quibble…Mishuzh Harrish and I never were in London, because Blofeld’sh nefarioush shcheme in Diamondsh Are Forever took place in Amshterdam and Lash Vegash almosht exclushively. At leasht that’sh where Jill Shaint John’sh shtand-in wash needed.

    That shaid, our shon Jamesh turned out to be a good lad, and Joanie ish a friend to thish day. When I did “Entrapment” with Catherine Zheta-Jonesh all thoshe yearsh later, I wash reminded of the exotic localesh Joan and I shared. No love child thish time, however.


  10. Hey Sir Hilary, a.k.a. ‘Sean’! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!! 😀

  11. Oh Sir Hillary…

    Call me Hilly??

    LOL… good pick ups on Diamonds are Forever (film) plot

  12. Thanks Therese

    Maybe you show could be called “Its a mad mad men world”??

  13. PJ, Maybe “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Men Future!”

  14. Gotta have Sal, now. Go Therese!

  15. I do have Sal’s ‘story’ all ready, and his collage, I was going to wait until next week, but maybe I should pop it up today, Hmmm?

  16. Mrs. Harris was never in London because, as everybody knows, Mrs. ‘Arris goes to Paris.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.