Mad Men watchers tend to say a lot about the paradox that is Don Draper. His own wife once asked, as she watched him sleep: “Who’s in there?”
I was talking to a friend about the show the other week, and she got me thinking the same thing about Betty. Where did her problem with shaky hands go? Did she stop seeing the psychiatrist? (I assume she did.) What about Glen, Arthur, her tendency to make interpersonal trouble? What about her drinking? Her grief over the death of her mother: how did she deal with that? Did she? Or is she still dealing with the compound grief of losing both parents?
My friend started asking the first of these questions; I filled in the rest myself.
I realize now that Mad Men has started quite a few little Betty Draper projects that remain unfinished. What we typically see of her is the impeccably dressed woman standing in her kitchen smoking, staring into the middle distance, more or less ignoring her children. Someone else (Carla, Francine) is often there, not that Betty takes much more notice of her than she does of her children. She has other things on her mind – not that we know what those things are.
Betty is lovely, composed, remote. She always has something she needs to do next in her day. But what about the person who propels that day? What about her story?
I’m not talking about the wife who sensed certain things about her husband, and soon afterward learned she was pregnant. I’m not talking about the “Main Line brat” and mother of three. These seem like part of an outline to me, when the truth of Betty Draper is probably much closer to Don’s: hiding, in pieces or not, in places we can’t easily see.
The lack of closure on the Betty Storylines makes me consider Betty’s own narrative: who she was, is, and might be beginning to be, independent of her (soon to be former) husband and children. I wonder about Betty’s story: which is, in its way, every bit as fractured as Don’s.
Who do you think Betty Draper is? Where do you think she will go next, as a character?
32 Responses to “Who’s In There?”
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Obviously, from that spoiler outfit and hairdo linked to earlier on Basket of Kisses, Betty will be putting on the outward mask of Republican-Wife-To-Be.
Will she find this any more fulfilling than her last mask?
Unlikely.
But the question for next season is, will the emptiness that remains propel Betty toward questioning the Problem-That-Has-No-Name, the '50s insistence that women's identity be defined only by their relation to their family: Gene's Daughter, Don's Wife, Sally-Bobby-Baby Gene's Mother, Henry's Fiancee.
I don't know what the future will hold for Betty. But I refuse to assume that life as Henry Francis' wife will either make her happy or unhappy. It's interesting how many want to assume two things about her – she will always be unhappy and "empty"; whereas they tend to imagine a "rosier" future for the other characters, especially Joan and Peggy.
But I am glad that someone realizes that Betty's story is no more finished than the rest of the characters.
I don't think there is anything more to Betty. I think she will be happier in some sense as Mrs. Henry Francis, because she will be moving among the upper class circles where she has convinced herself she belongs. I'm sure when she meets Rockefellers and Astors that she'll like that just fine.
But politics also means you mingle with a lot of people with whom Betty doesn't have to deal with as Don's wife. I'm thinking she may not enjoy some of the back room types that Henry probably has to do business with. She may find herself wishing she was back at the Draper residence rather than as a guest at the governor's residence.
She may find herself wishing she was back at the Draper residence rather than as a guest at the governor’s residence.
Why would you think that? You're not making assumptions about Betty, based upon your own personal feelings about her, are you? Before Season 3, most fans never believed that she would leave Don before the end of the series. Yet, she did.
I don’t think there is anything more to Betty.
I don't think that a female character has to be a career woman like Peggy or a celebrated wit like Joan in order to be interesting. All three women – Betty, Peggy and Joan – have changed a great deal in the past three seasons . . . yet, they have not. And not one of them has fully developed as a person.
Betty has been socialized to be a very nice girl and (almost) everyone knows that nice girls finish last.
http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/26/do-n…
She can't be happy until she stops shaping her life around others' expectations and figures out what she really wants and needs to build a life for herself. After her kids are grown, I think she might go in a whole new direction.
If predictions and interviews are accurate, the series will be over before Betty transforms into … what? I am suddenly reminded of "The Women's Room" by Marilyn French (a PhD in literature, BTW) but I haven't read it in a long time.
Don (certainly) and Henry (probably) are also confused. They're projecting what they think they want and need onto Betty, who allows the attention and affection of these men to substitute for taking responsibility for her own happiness. It's very seductive mythology, but ultimately unsatisfying for the participants.
She can’t be happy until she stops shaping her life around others’ expectations and figures out what she really wants and needs to build a life for herself. After her kids are grown, I think she might go in a whole new direction.
I don't think that will always be a guarantee . . . whether for Betty, Peggy or Joan. At the moment, Peggy seems very aware of what kind of life she wants. Yet, her idea of what kind of life she wants seemed to be superficial and she seemed to achieve it in a way that reminds me of a scientist engage in some kind of lab experiment. It's almost as if she is in some kind of identity crisis. And I wonder if she will ever get over it.
Joan seems confused. Period. At one end of the spectrum, she has managed to revitalize her life as a career woman. Yet, I get the feeling that she has to realize that she made a big mistake in marrying Greg. I am still amazed that she went ahead and married the guy in the first place. And I wonder if Joan will ever admit that she had made a mistake in choosing Greg to achieve a dream that would ha ve never made her happy.
Betty made that choice a long time ago and paid the price for it. But instead of trying something new, she has decided to move on to a new man. Will she be happy with her choice? I don't know. Will she regret her decision to change from one man to another, instead of making a new life for herself? Again, I don't know. I have a bad feeling about her decision, but I will admit that I don't know.
Betty Draper breaks my heart. Under that icy exterior is a really vulnerable woman, it hard to watch sometimes. Don’s coldness over the years slowly paralyzed her, he excluded her to a point where she couldn’t grow and mature. At the end of season 2 she seemed to be finding a way of coping without him but the pregnancy destroyed any chance of a new start. Season 3 brought the death of her father, a new baby, Don’s real identity then JFK, her head just exploded, Henry offered her a raft (not strong enough for the rough seas ahead I fear), so she jumped and who could blame her. I wish she wouldn’t marry him but I think she will. Don would have taken care of her and the children but with Henry in the picture he’ll be ruthless. Once he has set up SCDP he’ll realize what he’s lost and things will get ugly and I don’t think Henry will have the balls or energy to stand up to him (Roger could put him straight about Don). Poor Betty will never reach her full potential; I wish she could but Peggy is the new woman not Betty. I hope I wrong.
I lovewhere this discussion is going.
Women were — who am I kidding? Still are — polarizing creatures, because other people insist on seeing themselves in us. So much depends, to them, on whether or not we are "pretty". Whether or not we smile. How we "present" ourselves.
And what an interesting word that is: present. "The patient presents with symptoms indicating …" "Mommy, where's my present?"
But I digress.
It didn't occur to me for the longest time to see the spectre of Bets standing, all dolled up in her kitchen, as the saddest thing in the world. There she is, the sum total of her life's preparation and training: a gorgeous woman at the height of her powers, with nothing to do in her day that has only to do with her.
I do think Betty has an arc. At the end of Season 3, she finally knows what she doesn't want. She doesn't want Don anymore. It was first a feeling, then a fact: though I doubt that even she could describe how she knows it is true. And the convenience of that fact came clear just as Henry appeared on the scene.
I think Betty would see this smooth change of partners as coincidence; not question the proximity of one thing with another.
Does it occur to Betty that she's trying to change her life by changing the players? Does it strike her as less than probable that she can really fix what's wrong by letting one guy out, and another one in?
I guess we'll see.
Thanks for this, Anne, even if you were a naughty girl for posting early.
If January Jones becomes Matt Weiner's muse — I am thinking of Hitchcock's blonde muses — perhaps we'll see an Mad Men spinoff of Bets living on a commune in upstate NY in the 1970s …
Oops, sorry about the excessive bold — I must have blown a closing tag. Here is the URL for the Hitchcock muse link I included above:
The Women of Hitchcock
http://history.sandiego.edu/GEN/st/~emily2/women_…
I fixed your tag.
I love this post.
After the Italy episode, I was hoping we would see Betty cut loose more and indulge in the glamorous parts of the 60's. I realize she will probably still be in the 'burbs with Henry, but it would've been fun to see her spending Don's money in the city and shaking things up.
I still find her to be one of the more fascinating characters on the show who has more to be revealed in time. Obviously the writers agree, her part has expanded steadily since the pilot–it's actually remarkable to see the growth of not only Betty, but also January.
Did you know that The Huffington Post has a Mad Men page?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/mad-men
Thanks for the HTML help, Deborah!
I have been musing about Betty and what she represents for some of us. My mother was close to Betty's age. She worked after high school until she got married. How disorienting it must have been after 10 years at work to be home alone in a new town with 3 babies born over 4 years. We never got to discuss that because she died young.
When I think of Betty, I remember Shere Hite's 1987 book Women in Love: A Cultural Revolution in Progress (The Hite Report on Love, Passion, and Emotional Violence. The extensive quotes from her respondents' questionnaires are just heartbreaking. Critics said dissatisfied women were much more likely to complete and return questionnaires than women in happier relationships, but you can't deny the sadness and disappointment they expressed.
Don't read that book in bed next to your husband or boyfriend or you'll be tempted to elbow them really hard. If men were brave enough to read it, they might learn a lot.
http://www.amazon.com/dp/5550315343/
Who is Betty Draper. Words fail me. Better I think to let Betty tell us who she is.
With her failing father, Gene, making funeral arrangements Betty says: "I'm your little girl… can't you keep it to yourself?"
To her often ignored son, Bobby, when he comes looking for some attention: "Go bang your head against the wall. Only boring people are bored."
And finally, as Betty sees Betty: "As far as I’m concerned, as long as men look at me that way, I’m earning my keep."
Vacuus.
Speaking of Hitchcock blondes, Eva Marie Saint did a cool video interview with Vanity Fair about this very topic…
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2010/04/e…
I may be in the minority here, but I always thought the character of Betty was to be more a supporting role than anything else. Her character has evolved in 3 seasons, but with a new company forming and Don and Betty seemingly heading for divorce, I think he character might go back to more of a supporting role. In many ways, she is so pathetically sad, as was mentioned in the first season by Matt's son (I forgot his character's name), and when she went riding and was told the same thing by some other man at the stables whose name escapes me as well. Bets is a child and is afraid of growing old. I always wondered when her shaking hands started, and felt that she was sad for a long time before Don, but like Don, she loved the idea of him buying her that fur. Bets is a beautiful, sad woman who wants so desperately to looked at and be taken care of. I don't know if Henry is that answer for her. My guess is that it won't be because I'm not sure how happy any if these characters can ultimately be.
Am I the only one who thinks it's very possible that Betty won't marry Henry Francis? She hasn't said yes, after all. She didn't say yes to his marriage proposal or agree not to take Don's money when Henry offered to be her provider. She just didn't say no.
The kids still haven't met him yet and presumably don't know about him. It's difficult to imagine that someone as concerned with propriety as Betty is would rush into marriage as a custodial parent without her kids developing a relationship with him first, or insisting on a "proper" courtship.
She also hasn't been to Reno yet and made friends with the other divorcees and heard their stories, especially from women who have had multiple marriages. (I read Henry being on the plane with her as strictly being there to pay for a place for her to stay; I find it hard to fathom that he would actually stay there with her.) Furthermore, I can't see any way she stays in Ossining, especially after seeing the way Helen Bishop was treated, even by herself.
Betty is someone who believes greatly in following the rules, that if you do X then Y happens, and that everyone should be doing whatever society has decided X is, no questions, or they don't belong. Maybe now it will start to dawn on her that things are not always what they look like, and that not everyone can move in perfect lockstep with the world.
I'm late to the MadMen party–just finished watching "The Gypsy and the Hobo" for the first time. Betty has always made me squirm. She is not a likeable person but, at the same time, I can really feel her sadness–and the claustrophobia of her home life is palpable. She has been sold a bill of goods (marry Prince Charming, look good, earn her keep), by her parents and society in general.
It has been fascinating to watch her evolution in season 3. The Betty who unlocked Don's drawer, and the secret of his past, was so determined and strong. When she confronted Don, she was cool, let him speak, seemed to actually listen, and did not go into "it's all about me" mode.
Her avid reading of Mary McCarthy's "The Group" made me so hopeful for her future. (If you haven't read it, you should. The characters are Betty's peers.) Remember when her reading consisted of leafing through women's magazines? "The Group" is a precursor to Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique" and I take her reading of it as a hint from Matt W. that she will continue to evolve into a stronger, more mature woman. And so, I don't see her marrying Henry. I'm thinking that she will realize, even at the last minute, that this is just another Prince Charming fantasy scenario–and she already knows where that goes. Maybe just wishful thinking on my part–he is so odious!
I don't know yet what happens in the rest of season 3, but I have begun to sit up and take notice of Betty and want to know where she is headed.
On another note, I have to strongly disagree with #7 re: Joan. Smashing her Prince Charming on the back of the head with the vase, after he said those horrible things about her not knowing what it's like to have a dream shattered; those shattered bits of vase were the very embodiment of her shattered dreams.
Betty is by far one of my favorite characters. Make no mistake there is a lot to Betty. She's a brilliant character that I believe, has something to say to the at-home mothers of today… But before I trot down that trail… to your questions:
Where did her problem with shaky hands go?
The shakiness was from anxiety and the psychiatrist helped.
Did she stop seeing the psychiatrist?
Nope, she still sees him. There's a reference to just that when she uses him to get a message to Don – smart girl, that Betty.
What about Glen, Arthur, her tendency to make interpersonal trouble?
Symptoms of a gal a bit bored and trying to figure out who she is.
What about her drinking?
They all drank back then.
Her grief over the death of her mother: how did she deal with that? Did she?
Probably then reason she started to question her life in the first place. Shaky hands started 3 months after Mom died.
Or is she still dealing with the compound grief of losing both parents?
Probably
Betty is a woman who married a guy that she was crazy about, had two kids, and thought she would live happily ever after. (As most women did and still do) Over the years we watch their relationship. Don does a good job of closing her off. (cheats on her, talks to her therapist behind her back and uses the info "I'm living with a little girl", denies her sex when she wants it because he's already sated or thinking of someone else, puts her down, etc.) Betty is left with the gnawing feeling (ala, Betty Freidan – Feminine Mystique – right on Miss Kim) – that there has got to be something more… Betty is like every other woman past and present who wants so much to find her way – to be respected, to be a contributor – remember what a great mood she was in after her modeling job and how upset she was when she had to give it up – shooting the neighbor's birds! Some thought shooting the birds was a mother's instinct to protect her young. Baloney! She was pissed! I can't wait to see what Matt W has in store for Betty. She's a great character and she's got plenty of depth, she just needs an outlet – like we all do!
PS. January Jones is amazing. She totally gets it.
on would have taken care of her and the children but with Henry in the picture he’ll be ruthless.
Why do so many believe that Don would be a better husband for Betty than Henry? I'm not saying that Henry will prove to be a better husband. After seeing Don Draper aka Richard Whitman as a husband and father for the past three seasons, I simply DO NOT understand this belief. He was a lousy husband and a lousy parent. Will Henry be a better partner for Betty? I have no idea. And I refuse to assume one way or the other. But so many fans have been expressing this belief that she was better off with Don that I'm beginning to suspect that they WANT to believe this, because Don is the series' main character and he is more popular than either Betty or Henry.
And as I had stated earlier, Betty is not the only female character with some serious problems – personality or otherwise. I believe that both Peggy and Joan do, as well. And many of their problems stem from their own personalities and desires.
I always felt that the teases of who Betty is really suggests that she could be so much more. We know she is intelligent: she went to Bryn Mawr & had a very interesting major (what was it? She told Henry Francis in that coffee shop), she commented to either Francine or her doctor about how her mother primped & prepared her to be the ideal mother but what more could there be? "Smoking, until you ended up in a box?" I think that was her line. She clearly is questioning her existence. She hates the mediocrity of suburbia and loves the sense of adventure of Europe. We see that in the episode Souvenir. We see towards the end of Season 3 that she is able to stand up to Don & her brother. Remember when she stood up to the bully neighbor with the pigeons? I think she could be so much more, and really is just a product of her time and upbringing. I would like to see her evolve into something deeper than just another "perfect" housewife to Henry Francis. Maybe she can evolve just as the Women's movement of the 1960s starts to change women about their way of being.
Why do so many believe that Don would be a better husband for Betty than Henry?
Because he's HAWT, silly!
I think what Betty likes about Henry is that he's transparent. This is a guy who can't even be in the same room with her and her husband without rivulets of drool forming on his chin; if he (or Betty, for that matter) had any sneaking-around skills at all, it's possible Don might never have found out. If Henry was screwing around behind her back, she'd know it in two seconds. After being married to someone who was as opaque as they come, this is probably a relief. (Not to mention that unlike Don, he doesn't seem to have much of an appetite for hard living; a couple of mint juleps at the Derby party, and there he was asking permission to pat her belly!)
But note I said "likes," not "loves." It's eminently possible that she can't truly love someone who is reliable and treats her well.
Since Betty is one of my least favorite characters on the show, I have less interest in her and where her character goes. That being said, I'd like to see what happens to her vis a vis Henry and her future with him or without him. I hope I didn't offend anyone here who are Betty fans. I've just always prefered the goings on at SC/SCDP than the goings on at the Draper household.
Meowser asks, "Am I the only one who thinks it’s very possible that Betty won’t marry Henry Francis?" You are not the only one, because I, too, think that Betty won't marry Henry and that she won't get a divorce–or, even if she does, it won't last. As I said in another thread, I think Betty will eventually go back to Don because that is what most people (women?) did at that time. Yes, there were divorces, but for suburban mothers and children, it was a huge scandal, a disaster. I think we might see some progress in the area of self-knowledge for both Betty and Don, but it will take quite a while and will be only partial. Again, I'm thinking about the people I know who are in their late 70's-early 80's today. That's Betty and Don.
I also agree with Claudine Wolk's assessment of Betty. The question is, how much of Betty's depth will she allow to come to the surface? (Same question about Don's depth, in my opinion.) Despite my comments above, it's possible that self-knowledge and authenticity will triumph. There are glimpses of that possibility in both characters.
Thanks to all for your comments!
A special thanks to #20, miss Kim: a very astute take on the series from someone who's "new to the party". Love your comments, on both Betty and Joan. I hope you'll stick around and continue to share your thoughts.
I like the way both Betty and Don seem to get viewers going. We seem to want them to be and do things that the rest of the characters don't really have to be or do. (Roger can leave Mona for Jane. Peggy can give up a child for adoption. But when Don cheats on Betty, or Betty's cold to the kids …)
Maybe it's about Sally and Bobby Draper, the sole school-age children the show follows. Or maybe it has something to do with Betty and Don's classical attractiveness: should people who look as they do behave in certain ways? And what do we feel when they don't?
Personally, I would love to see an episode, sometime in Season 4, in which we don't see Betty Draper at all. I'd like to see things from her point of view instead. I'd like to move through her world for an episode: seeing what she sees, hearing what she hears.
I think then I might understand.
Maybe it’s about Sally and Bobby Draper, the sole school-age children the show follows. Or maybe it has something to do with Betty and Don’s classical attractiveness: should people who look as they do behave in certain ways? And what do we feel when they don’t?
I think that's it. Also, I tend to be just as critical with the other characters – including Peggy, Joan and Roger.
I love Betty. She's complicated, frustrated, scared sometimes. I love January's acting. Some people don't consider her to be a great actress, but I do – her acting is very subtle, she expresses a lot through eyes, body language, gestures. Betty is looking for new life. I think she is going to fail with Henry, but it will be the final trial before freedom. After ordeal with Don she has learnt to trust her emotions and gut feeling. She will remember this and will use this strength not to let Henry use or even abuse her.
Okay, here's another of my Zelig moments, this one regarding Shere Hite: in the early '70s she was an anthropolgy student (if memory serves), doing postgraduate work, and handing out surveys in New York City asking women about their sexual lives.
I met her through NOW's Media Committee: Shere was an extremely beautiful model/graduate student, handing out these sex questionaires at women's liberation conferences.
I remember asking her why they didn't include a question on the women's ages — it just seemed common sense to me that age might make a difference in women's additudes to their sex lives — Shere said she didn't want to promote "ageism," but sure enough when her book on women's sexuality came out in hardcover (The Hite Report), she got in trouble with some academics who noted that a large part of the sample didn't include the ages of those women surveyed.
I was working at Mademoselle magazine at the time, the editor in chief was always looking for bits to include in her column and I suggested she cover something about Shere's surveys.
So a large part of those surveyed for the Hite Report on Women's Sexuality (which became a best seller) came either from those at feminist gatherings or Mademoiselle's readership.
Fast forward to the middle '80s and I was the article editor for Playgirl magazine, and got in touch with Shere to see if she'd write something for us. Shere was gunshy about the media (long story) but I agreed to include a call for Playgirl's readers to fill out surveys for Shere's Love book in my editor's column.
So a portion of those women who made up the sample for Shere's Love book, came from the reader's of Playgirl magazine.
Make of that what you will.
freelancewoman, how cool and interesting.
Who do I think Betty is? I don't like her, but I find her tragic – everything has conspired to make her vacuous, valueless, empty. She was born to a mother who emphasized the importance of looks and figure and nothing else. Because she was pretty, she never had to work to discover what else was might be worthwhile about herself or develop any skills or talents. She fell into modeling instead of having a job that provided growth and a sense of accomplishment for what she could do, instead of what she looked like. She doesn't seem to have an inner drive to learn or discover or grow or empathy for other people. She clings to her mother's values, and all she cares about is being taken care of and admired for her looks.
This is why I'm sure she'll marry Henry – he will keep her in style, be faithful, and admire her, everything she asks. As long as he holds up his end of the bargain, she'll be happy. She already knows more about him that she knew about Don the first ten years they were married, so she's doing pretty well.
Being a divorced woman alone back then was a very big deal – the advice my mother got was "don't leave the first until you have the second lined up. " No way will Betty assume a "poor Helen Bishop" role by not marrying Henry. If Henry weren't offering marriage, Betty would be sucking it up with Don.
And I don't see her riding the wave of feminism coming up. A more reflective or curious woman might, but that's not Betty as she's been drawn thus far.
Wait — if Betty continued her therapy anytime past Season 1, wouldn't have Don thrown that in her face, when she defied him? When she confronted him about his lies? The psychiatrist wasn't in the picture anymore, else Don would have had her committed, or made the threat.
You know Don — tell me he wouldn't have done it, if it would have kept his family together.