Dec 052009
Just a thought–Baby Gene may not ever consider Don his father. I mean, if Betty does go ahead and marry Henry Francis, she will surely have that baby call Henry ‘Daddy’.
I never did it. My mom was remarried before I was three, and my dad was remarried even earlier. So I was very little, but always crystal clear about who these people were and were not to me. I was one strong-willed little kid. It probably helped that I had an older brother and sister, but now that I know a lot of toddlers, man, I was pretty tough!
Anyway, point is, this could be a greater loss for Don than he’s even considered.
53 Responses to “Who's your daddy?”
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Betty's first deliberate act in separating the baby from Don was naming him Gene. Pretty spiteful, I always thought.
I guess it depends on what they work out for custody & visitation, but it sure seems there's no way Don is going to spend enough time with a less-than-year-old baby to create much of a bond with him. I'd be curious to hear if anyone else here has actual experience with a baby and divorce (I don't) – is it possible for the non-custodial parent to create a strong bond with a child that young?
Especially then. These days, things are so different. But I was born in 1965, and we followed standard operating procedures–every other weekend at dad's, and some vacation time. Will anyone allow a baby to be away from mom every other weekend? I mean, Betty sure might, I guess–she was ready to go to Rome.
Don's gonna need some help. Maybe it's Don that works something out with Carla.
Don't forget how the Don-Betty story line ends in Have a Seat. The second to last thing Betty says to Don on the phone, right before she says "Good-bye" is "You'll always be their father."
And I think she meant it. Though it's a cliche for divorcing parents to say–especially when said to the children–Betty sounded sincere to me. It had a touch of genuine white flag waving. Don had finally conceded. It was her turn to offer something.
As an aside: in Don's efforts to start a new Sterling-Coo, all the other characters block his actions until he wins them over one by one. Whereas, in the Don-Betty story line, it is Don who continually blocks Betty's efforts to break up the marriage. Don might have thrown seven or so obstacles in her way.
Anyway, my parents were divorced before I was one. Though my mom didn't remarry until five years later, my dad was always my dad despite the fact that he lived 500 miles away. But I do consider my step-dad a father, too. Life is funny that way.
I think Roberta is right about baby Gene. I also can sense some "you can't tell me what to do… you're not my real dad" drama between Henry and Sally is on its way.
Oh, Roberta. Hugs to you, little tough one.
I am the stepmom of two, and from the beginning, they took such good care of us all: dad, mom, stepmom. Parents have to be watching to see this, but children take what steps they can to ensure their parents' happiness. Even when they are very small, they do.
I resolved when I met my girls that I was going pay it all back to them. I'm still working on it, that long road. And I'm not sure it'll ever be enough.
The husband of a friend of mine left when her daughter was a year old. The baby girl grew up within the triangle: Mommy, Daddy, and the other woman, whom she also loves. When Mommy met her terrific husband and remarried, the little girl (then three) bonded with him too. Now she loves John as she loves Daddy.
But Daddy's house is different now, as the little girl (eight) is something of a favored visitor, the oldest and sometimes the most beloved of three. The younger two miss her when she's not there, and she misses them. But at Mommy's house, the little girl is still just herself: it's Mommy, John, the dog, and her.
Every family has a story like this. This is just the one that I know. And it's one that hurts a little, as I love everyone involved in it.
Oh, I think you can count on Sally being a true rebel when it comes to Henry, especially given Kiernan's ability to carry a heavy storyline. Kinda makes me think Matt will write more into it because of her talent, whereas with any other child actor he might not give that kind of weight to, and the story would take a back seat.
I think about this show way too much…
I have always interpreted the show from a Betty sensitive perspective,and also assume that she sincerely loved Don until his behavior, in essence, drove her away. So I agree that she may not be as open to sharing custody of Gene, because it may finally drive home just what his behavior has resulted it.
I think he does occasionally want to be a good father, when he isn't disappearing for days or weeks, or sleeping with their teacher down the street. So losing an influence in Gene's life will hurt.
I picture a time when they are watching a school function; Betty with Henry,Don arrives late in the back. The baby fusses and Henry gets up and takes him from Betty and the baby clings to him, and calls him "DADA".
Again, I've mentioned this in other posts, but it drives the point home :
What is true freedom?
Don has been fantasizing about freedom from his family for so long; now he has it, but is the price of watching another man raise his kids going to be high, or is he able to cut and run?
True, Gene will be the most affected…especially if Betty keeps going through husbands, which I have a feeling she might.
Don's closest relationship was with Sally, who turned against him, followed by Bobby, who clung to him. He was only just starting to bond with Gene and now that bond is broken by Betty taking him to Reno.
I have friends who only saw their dads during summer vacation. Not even weekends.There was no such thing as formal shared custody in the 60s. They went with one parent or the other, almost always the mom.
Great post. While reading it dawned on me (dah) that if Season 4 begins to much later than Season 3 ended we may not see Sally as we do now. She would be older and I'm not sure Kiernan could carry an older character. On the other hand Season 4 may start right where Season 3 left off. Then we really would see the parent/child dynamics.
Every family has a story like this. This is just the one that I know.
Very profound observation. Each story is unique, yet we relate to each other. We draw the connection. Roberta looks at Gene and sees herself, and also doesn't; the connection is there, but they're also different. I was six–Bobby's age–when our parents divorced. I don't honestly remember a word of "that conversation." But I remember "that conversation" when my son was 8 and my ex-husband and I decided to separate, and that's what was in my mind when I watched the Drapers sit down in the living room.
If you tell the story beautifully, we all find our points of connection. There are so many stories; these are the ones we know.
I wonder if Betty will even take Sally and Bobby into her "new life." I imagine that they will be constant reminders of Don to Betty. And let's face it she has always been cold to both of them anyway.
I think Sally and Bobby are representations of Betty and Don's life in someways. Sally is similar to Betty, and Bobby is similar to Don. Now everyone is displaced, Don is on his own, Sally and Bobby, and of course Betty – everyone is having similar experiences at the same time, in the same way, only apart from each other.
Season 4 will be exciting for sure!
I wonder how Grandpa Gene would feel about this divorce situation if he had lived to see it (granted, Betty might not have left Don if he were alive). Sure, he didn't like Don but would he have approved of divorce?
I want to see a small jump. I'm sure that Betty and the children will move to a new neighborhood, but I'm sure Don will insist on being a part of their life. He loves his children. Even he and Betty agree that the children are something they share. I don't imagine Don getting full custody, that would not be practical. I think they will spend some weekends with him, and maybe dinner in the city every now and then.
Right. Those two were portrayed as true losers. There were surely other capable practitioners at the time who did strive to effectively represent the client. Some of the stories related above from those whose parents divorced when they were children give their views of the general practices of the time.
not_Bridget – only saw that episode once late at night and didn't pick up on the timeline of Betty's knowledge of the pregnancy. Thanks.
She'll definitely need local counsel in Reno to file the divorce there, regardless of who works out the financial details and when it's put in writing. I wouldn't worry about who pays for the legal fees, as much of these agreements are negotiable. Sorry, due to time constraints, I can't check the state of the law in 1963 in NY and NV tonight to determine if there were any particular requirements concerning the payment of legal fees. If it is an issue in any script, they'll likely assign someone to research it.
I don’t do family law. I don’t ever want to do family law or deal with any sort of celebrity scandal — or the kind of TV legal commentator who relishes the opportunity to appear on tabloid news to discuss said scandals.
That said, there are a few other issues arising out of the story line.
1. Gene’s paternity. No question raised in season 3 about Betty’s liaison in the bar at the end of season 2 and whether Don was indeed Gene’s father.
2. Betty’s attorney must advise and act in HER best interests and the best interests of the children. The scene in his office in “Have a Seat” turned my stomach. When Betty said “Whatever I’m entitled to” and Henry tried to dissuade her from seeking any money or child support from Don, did the guy say anything to put a stop to Henry’s influence? Not that we heard. To her credit, Betty appeared to be shaking her head “no” to Henry as the scene ended. By our 21st century ethical standards, the divorce attorney is a good candidate for referral to NY State Bar Counsel for discipline.
Let’s see what the writers dream up over the winter for season 4.
1) Gene is Don’s son. The last episode in Season 2 opened with Betty seeing her OB/GYN. He confirmed that she was pregnant. Toward the end of the episode, she had her liaison in the bar. She already knew she was pregnant.
2) I think Reno divorces had to have been signed off by the party not petitioning for divorce. Usually, things had been settled by both parties & their lawyers before one spouse headed West. Henry made Betty jump the gun, before arrangements were made. Probably Betty can find a lawyer in Reno who will work with Don’s, long distance, to arrange a decent settlement. (Could he include his fees in the settlement in case Betty’s “allowance” from Henry won’t cover them?)
The scene with Henry, Betty & the lawyer was almost as offensive, to me, as Betty’s shrink letting Don know about her sessions.
Remember, her family lawyer was just as condescending and useless.
Betty: My husband is not who he says he is. Literally. Doesn’t that make my marriage fraudulent?
Lawyer (patting Betty’s little head): Stay married to him, dear. He’s not beating you, and he pays your bills.
n_B, we don’t know that Betty was on the plane the same day. Don said he wouldn’t fight Betty on the phone; subsequently, we see Betty on the plane with Henry and the baby. It’s likely some days passed in between and Don has already signed.
I can imagine next season could start with Henry and Betty married just like Roger got his divorce and married Jane before his daughter could even get married. Henry depriving Betty of her divorce settlement makes her entirely dependant on him and his good graces. I see trouble already there.
Bobby and Sally are not going to take to Henry ad “Daddy”. Maybe Uncle Henry?
@ 19
"Bobby and Sally are not going to take to Henry ad “Daddyâ€. Maybe Uncle Henry?"
Maybe there will be an Abigail and Uncle Mac/Betty and Uncle Henry parallel between Don and the Draper children.
Here’s hoping that Betty holds off on marrying Henry. I’m sure he’d love to pick her up in Reno & tie the knot immediately. But, for the sake of the kids & Betty’s reputation in Ossining, a delay would work better.
I can see Sally greeting him as a replacement grandpa. And suggesting he sleep in The Scary Room.
Most of that last episode was very time-conscious, with day-by-day & hour-by-hour planning & execution of The Big Caper. So I just assumed that the final scene was happening on the same tight schedule.
When Don signed off doesn’t matter as much as what Don agreed to. We’ll find out next season.
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I can honestly imagine Don going wither way. He might be a presence in his children's lives, and he might simply move on. The business startup is going to be a huge timesucker – if he HAD decided to take the children from Betty, they'd have likely been with a nanny 24/7 while Don popped in for bedtime kisses.
#15 Interesting legal discussion. I never practiced family law. But, I know from the New York State bar prep and a course from law school that New York today (and presumably also in 1963) is a very difficult state to get divorced in unless you have grounds ( I believe there are 6 & of course adultery is one of them) or are separated pursuant to a written agreement signed by both parties for one year. I was a little confused by the finale b/c if Betty is going to establish residency in Reno for 6 weeks in order to get a divorce under Nevada law, shouldn't her children be with her? Technically, isn't she abandoning them under the law if she is going to stay in Reno for 6 weeks & w/o them during the Christmas holidays? But, I guess Don has already said he wouldn't fight her & maybe a Reno judge will grant the divorce as a matter of course. It just seemed very rushed… She must be that anxious to be rid of him & marry Henry . . .
Is it possible that Betty wasn't on a flight to Reno as we assume, but headed somewhere else w/Henry? Would she really leave here children for 6 weeks?
Melissa, I don't think it's going to be that black-and-white. More likely, after they'd both cooled down a bit from their fight, Don realized that taking custody of the children while he's working full-time (and Betty isn't) would be pretty unrealistic, and not particularly in the kids' best interest. She's not THAT bad a mother! But that doesn't mean Don's going to just disappear from their lives either.
I thought that was pretty much cleared up even by the next day, when she & Don met with the kids in the living room. Betty and the kids are staying in the Ossining house (or at least that's what Betty told them. Wonder how that will work with Henry, assuming Henry is in the picture permanently — we don't know that for sure yet) and Don will see them on the weekends and holidays. Betty says "You'll have two Christmases" – an acknowledgment that Don will spend time with them too.
How many more months until S4 begins?
Suzanne – I think it's pretty clear she's headed to Reno.
What's not completely clear to me is whether there was any gap in time between the scene at the Pierre on Monday Dec 16, 1963, and when we see Betty on the plane. The implication SEEMS to be that it's the same week, because in the very last scene, it looks like Don is actually moving in to his new apartment, not just coming home to it. But I suppose we could assume he stayed at the Roosevelt for a while until Joan found him his furnished apartment. I'm going with "not much of a time gap," but who knows?
I hope we pick up where we left off next season instead of jumping ahead. That wouldn't be typical of MM though, would it?
I see things the way Kisses in the Hallways does. I think that Betty was sincere when she said Don will always be their father. I also think that Sally, little bad-ass that she is/will be, will do everything she can to make sure that little baby Gene knows exactly who his father is and who his father is not, just like she'll make sure Henry Francis know that he is not her daddy and isn't the boss of her. Hopefully, cooler heads will prevail and Betty will decide to think a minute on the decision to run into Henry's (creepy IMHO) arms.
I am not sure I understand the consternation about leaving Sally and Bobby for six weeks. My parents took a three-week trip to Europe in 1971 — we were 8 and 6 — they left us a hand-made booklet showing where they would be on each day, with pix cut out of travel brochures, etc., and they sent postcards. We stayed with various relatives and had a blast. There was no trauma — we enjoyed turning over the leaves of the diary to see where they were but other than that…no problem.
Bobby and Sally are a bit older — I am sure with Don popping in frequently, maybe some help from Francine or Betty's brother, Carla, etc. they'll be fine. They are, after all, in school most of the day. And Betty can call them long-distance.
Don't get me wrong — I'm no Betty fan — but kids are separated from their parents all the time for reasons within and outside of parental control (illness, military deployment, job transfers, etc.) without ill effects. I don't see this as egregious on her part.
@31Millicent, I think people are upset for a few reasons:it appears that she left right before Christmas which seems like the last time you would leave your kids, especially just after telling them you and their Dad are splitting up and just after an earth shaking national tragedy that they and you are still reeling from. I'm sure they are feeling abandoned with Dad moving out, and now Mom is gone for 6 weeks and it's Christmas? I mean, where is the fire? I know she is emotional and in a bad place but I for one didn't understand why she could not have waited a bit for that. She and Don were separated before so what would it kill her to wait until after the holidays , or even wait until the summer so the kids could go with her? I also think there is a huge difference between going on a trip as a couple and lovingly giving your kids an itinerary, books, post cards and leaving them with relatives for 3 weeks is WAAYYY different to leaving your kids over the holidays for six weeks with the maid, especially when you are with another dude? THat just looks bad and cold and has to feel rotten. My folks broke up when I was a wee-lass but the idea of not being with my Mom at Christmas as a child, especially right after my Dad was gone, is devastating. I'm in my mid-thirties and I've never not had Christmas with my Mom (though I have seriously considered it, especially after this Thanksgiving) and can't imagine it at 6/7 (Bobby's age) or 8/9 (Sally's age). I'm not a Betty hater, but this seems to have been a very bad idea, and somehow though we won't see it, I think that on Christmas Eve/Day she will be feeling pretty rotten about it, at least I hope she does, or she'll turn around and come back just for the holiday even if it means re-starting the 6 weeks over again.
I agree (as usual!) with Dark Peggy.
Divorce is so, so hard on kids. It's hard to overestimate the difficulty of it, the degree to which it disrupts their lives. For adults, divorce can be a declaration of independendence, the first big step out into a new life. It can also be a big step back: from financial or emotional security, from what you'd thought was a secure identity, etc.
But that's the experience for adults, who entered marriage as part of an at-will relationship.
For children, parents are the bedrock of their lives. Divorce turns those lives upside down. It's not just about Mom and Dad living in different places: it's about having to live in two different places yourself.
When you're a kid, the split often happens before you have a mental map of anywhere: even "home". Ask a child whose parents have split up to draw a picture of where she or he lives. You'll learn a lot.
I grew up around kids who had divided Christmases, and they seemed to make the best of things. But the idea of a childhood Christmas with no parents at home sounds so unbelievably lonely to me: part of me can't imagine it. I just stop the mental tape with Carla and the kids together, there on the Draper couch. Can't go further.
My own parents are still together, going on 48 years now. Again: divorce is not my childhood story. But it is my kids' story, and that makes it mine.
"independence". Love that word so much, I just wanted it to keep on going.
I was divorced in New York. It is a difficult state to divorce in. Pain in the ass. Still no no-fault.
#32 Dark Peggy. Well said. I agree with everything. 6 weeks, time of year, on the heels of divorce news, left w/Carla, a non family member. Can she fly back at Christmas time to visit them & doesn't that jeopardize her claim to Nevada residency? If the Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Pryce coup started on Friday, December 13, 1963 & the "***" hit the fan on Monday, December 16th, the same day Don told her he wouldn't fight her, then at the very earliest, she is on a flight to Reno on, what, Tuesday, December 17th, 7 days shy of Christmas Eve? How can she do that? Why not just wait until after the New Year?
I don't think Betty left Sally and Bobby for six weeks over Christmas. She told them they would have "two Christmases," and that was after she knew she was going to Reno. I think one of three things happened:
1) Betty and Henry went to Reno to nail down a place for her starting the first of the year. He had to go for the initial trip because he was paying for it, but no way on earth was he spending six weeks out there with her. He still had a job, and his being there during the six-week residency would have just gotten in her way. She flew back for Christmas, then went out there after the holiday to begin her residency.
2) Alternatively, Betty and Henry went to Reno to set her up in a place, and she began her residency. He flew back to resume his life on the East Coast. Sally and Bobby were flown out there for Christmas (Don putting them on the plane) while they were on school break. (Yes, children that young did fly alone; flight attendants kept an eye on unaccompanied minors, probably more so in the era before deregulation.)
3) Betty and Henry's flight took place after Christmas.
But would people have been as upset over Don potentially leaving his kids over the holiday? Somehow I think not.
I hope that you are correct with at least one of the hypotheticals Meowser, but like so much with Mad Men, we will probably never know for sure. I doubt people would have been as upset with Don possibly leaving the kids, but then again, the chances of him having anything else to do on Christmas of all days are pretty limited, he doesn't have any family and no real friends we know about and since most folks are preocuppied with family onChristmas, unless he went to see Anna, he wouldn't have anything to do all day but sit around, drink and watch tv or something equally depressing. Also, I wonder, even though Betty and her brother don't seem to be terribly fond of each other, wouldn't it have been a little kinder to leave the kids with them for 6 weeks rather than Carla? I'm sure Carla loves them as much as you can love charges you are paid to take care of and Betty and Bro (blanking on his name) aren't close, but for somethings you need to ask family to do,not friends or employees. Then again, there is school to consider and I doubt she has even told her brother ($10 he $hits a brick when he finds out). Either way, given their upbringing you KNOW he is going to talk some serious trash about her, probably to her face too. Can you imagine how judgemental she would be with him if the situation was reversed? More love amongst the Hofstaders.
Either way, given their upbringing you KNOW he is going to talk some serious trash about her, probably to her face too. Can you imagine how judgemental she would be with him if the situation was reversed?
Scenes we'd love to see on MM, and probably never will!
There's no way Don is going to leave his children alone on Christmas. In fact, even if Betty DID leave before Christmas,* it wouldn't surprise me to find out that Don had the kids the weekend following the SCDP coup and on into Christmas, perhaps bringing them into work on the weekend. Remember the time he brought Sally to work? Heh. Hide the liquor this time, Joan!
*(and I'm wondering if we weren't supposed to assume a few weeks' time jump after the SCDP at the Pierre scene, and the final couple of scenes with Betty on the plane and Don moving into a brownstone. Meaning that those two scenes happened after Christmas. Oh well, just a bit more ambiguity to wrestle with in the MM world!)
All the more reason I would love MM to pick right up where we left off. Doubtful though. We'll probably just have to hypothesize into eternity what happened to those kids while Betty was away. Sigh.
"There’s no way Don is going to leave his children alone on Christmas…Remember the time he brought Sally to work?"
But he didn't do that because he wanted to – he did it because Betty made him.
yes, Meowser and others, I agree Christmas does make things tougher on the kids, and you're right, this isn't a question of the parents jaunting off on vacation or a job transfer, the children already have been informed of the impending divorce. I was just reacting to many "six weeks! six weeks!" posts here and elsewhere, and that just doesn't seem all that long to me.
I think the plane scene was rammed into the final episode to underscore that there is no turning back for B & D, even if it did wreak havoc with the timeline. When Don was moving into his very "The Apartment"-esque brownstone, there were some Christmas lights in nearby windows but of course many of us leave our lights up through the new year. So we could give the writers the benefit of the doubt and assume that those scenes took place after the kids had a semi-normal holiday.
If Betty got on a plane for Reno the same weekend of the SCD&P coup, that meant that Carla would watch the kids during the final week of school. I'm betting they would either a) spend the holidays with Don or b) fly out to Reno to spend them with Betty.
By then, three of her six weeks in Reno would have passed. That leaves three more weeks before she establishes residency, followed by the two week waiting period for a divorce. That's a total of five weeks under a combination of Carla and Don's care. Five weeks is about what kids spend at sleep away summer camp.
But he didn’t do that because he wanted to – he did it because Betty made him.
Christmas, specially when Mommy is in Reno divorcing Daddy, is very different, I would say, than a random "oh crap you have to take Sally to work right this minute while I take Bobby to the emergency room" situation.
I do believe Don loves his kids, and was concerned about the effect of the break-up on them. But we'll probably never know what actually transpired.
Either way, I have a hard time believing those kids were left alone over Christmas.
I have to admit that the final breakup of Don and Betty's marriage hit me like a punch to the stomach- I guess I feel a family with small children and husband and wife, is like it's own living organism, and the divorce feels like a death. Wouldn't you try to save it, going to extremes like you would save the life of your child?
So I found it interesting and even clarifying that I felt the very same way when the Tiger Woods scandal came out.
The parrallels seem uncanny:
Strong dark alpha male, with seemingly pristine outward reputation; yet multiple hidden affairs.
Beautiful blonde NORDIC wife, who seems to all appearances supportive and loving, and is the mother of small children, including a new baby.
He has affairs with multiple woman, claiming not getting enough? understanding?, sex? claims about the marriage: it "never should have happened"- or it's just for publicity.
Accusations about wife- she's cold, frigid- "not enough"-(although pictures of her earlier this year seem to show a warm companion who is there for him…)I'm sure as his attentions were drawn elsewhere, she must have felt a chilling in his affection and responded accordingly. Like our Betty after Season 2 post Bobbi Barrett…
I have to say, in the Tiger- Elin scenario, I have less sympathy for Tiger than I have had for Don- and I haven't had much for Don (Is Jon Hamm too handsome to hate?) I really feel Elin ought to cut and run- I wish some loving adoring man could come and rescue her from a life of wretched loneliness.
# 44
Dr Mom
Tiger Woods analogy – great stuff, gives a lot to think about.
@drmom 44, the big difference though is that Betty didn't go after Don with a golf club. Me thinks she was trying to attack him (domestic violence) that whole freeing him from the car with the club thing sounds like a big steaming pile of bs to me. Cheating is wrong ,but as many pointed out when Don pulled Betty out of bed to ask who the hell Henry Francis was and when Joan clobbered Greg with the vase, so is hitting or considering hitting your spouse.
I totally agree with your opinion against violence-no argument there.
(Altho the scenario I'm subscribing to is that he was disoriented from Ambien mixed with alcohol. She did not hit HIM with the club, just the back windows of the car as he was leaving the garage, driving impaired from the drugs and alcohol- which she later showed the EMTs. His facial injuries were minor- not from a golf club- scratches etc. -and he was snoring in the road. Ambien seems to be the likely cause of his inappropriate sleeping, as No serious head trauma was discovered in the ER.)
I guess my point is that I have NO sympathy for Tiger and feel his philandering is disgusting and pathologic, and his lack of self- control is like an attack on his young family. It helped clarify why I felt so badly about the fictional break-up of this marriage. No matter how "cold" Nordic Betty may be- which i don't agree with anyway- it doesn't justify Don's cheating IMHO. The self indulgent pleasure these men derive does not justify the painful destruction of a family.
In either case, if the marriage was that unsatisfying for a spouse, inform the other spouse, get help, get out, then get "some", in that order.
"'In either case, if the marriage was that unsatisfying for a spouse, inform the other spouse, get help, get out, then get “someâ€, in that order."
I just wrote that off the top of my head, but noticed that's the order that Betty was doing things.
Inform: she told Don she was angry and she didn't love him any more; he didn't dialogue- he walked away and didn't engage; therefore no constructive change could occur
Get Help: she went to 2 lawyers
Get Out: going to Reno
Get some: pending her divorce?
There is an enormous double standard for Betty, many writers disparage her relationship with Henry- equating her kiss and emotional intimacy with Henry as significant as Don's consummated flings. I disagree and think that by doing things in the proper order she was adhering to a higher standard. Why? Because she thinks she is better than the rest who sink lower and sleep around? She's a snob? or she really has a moral compass and knows she's playing with fire, that has dangerous and destructive implications.
Betty did get some in that tawdry back room of a New York bar. But she was already knocked up & figured nobody would ever know.
He "moral compass" made her reject a quick affair with Henry. So he came through with the offer of marriage.
I hope Betty doesn't succumb to Henry's wish that she get nothing from Don. She needs child support, of course–although Henry was even against that. And alimony, so she isn't forced to marry Henry immediately. And even, perhaps, a settlement that she can invest along with the money from her father's house. So she will have some "assets" that won't fade as she ages.
Betty demonstrated her morals when she disrespected her dying father. There's more than one Commandment.
I agree about Betty being trapped and Don not handling it. Don has no conception of what family is or should be, but given how he was raised it isn't surprising. I partly agree about the equivalency and partly don't agree about the equivalency. I agree that Don is way worse and what is good for the goose is good for the gander so I don't feel too mad about Betty being with Henry in terms of cheating, I just don't like the dude and think she can do WAAAYYYY better, but I think in general with affairs an emotional intimacy is in some way stonger than something that is just a physical intimacy with no emotions. I think I'd be more upset if I had a spouse who was really inlove with someone else, even if they didn't consummate the act than I would if they just had a one-night stand with a stranger or an affair with someone who they were just having an affair with. I'd be mad at both but emotional intimacy is more intense. But I don't think Betty and Henry have that much of an emotional bond. I think she is lonely and looking for what she can get, I'm not even sure how capable she is of intimacy, and I think he is sort of predatory and it is just lust. Somehow, I think if she had the exact same personality but say had been Francine or one of the less drop-dead gorgeous of the married Ossinning ladies, there wouldnt' have been this hulabaloo for Betty. So, though I didn't want to see Don and Betty split really, I think it was the right thing but Henry is not the answer, to me.
As for Tiger, that is a plausible scenario but why a golf club to get him out of the car? The face scratches say something though. Who knows what happened though. FOr most male professional athletes, (and rap/rock/pop stars) and I know this is awful to say, I am more surprised when there is no proof that they cheat. These athletes get their heads pumped up from a very young, immature age about how great they are, they get all sorts of money and perks (sometimes even grades) just b/c of their skills and they have people throwing themselves at them constantly for sex, friendship and everything else and no one tells them no, so you have to be one heck of a person and very well raised to not be pretty full of yourself and to think you can do what you want, when you want as much as you want no matter what. I do feel bad for Elin, even if she did try to hit or scratch him and for the kids. If she hit or tried to hit Tiger, I kind of feel bad for him for that but when you cheat like that you are playng with fire, but he'll be all right no matter what. You'd think that the football player who got killed by that girlfriend on the side would make some of these guys think twice though. That ambien stuff scares me though, everytime I see one of those commercials for it and they mention all of the possible side-effects, as someone who had insomnia once, I really think I'd rather not get the sleep, or take something else. The idea of being asleep and trying to drive scares the life out of me.
These are the things I know.
I know what's going on in my marriage. (Most days.) I know what I have seen on Mad Men, and can discuss it here. When those I love have interpersonal issues they want to share with me, I try to help them. Or laugh. Or commisserate. Or do whatever they need me to do; it varies.
But I don't know what happened between Tiger Woods and his wife, or Tiger Woods and someone else, or any famous person and anyone else. Especially between the famous person and someone who wants to be famous.
I don't know Tiger — or any famous people, actually — so I can't tell you what he's doing or not doing. I just have no idea. And in my line of work, people regularly get fired for running stories that an independent third party has not checked for veracity. Lately I'm wondering who's doing the checking on all of these.
As funny as it was to hear one of the three straight guys in my department decide to be #11, or whatever, on Tiger's Affair List the other day, part of me still wonders: how would I feel if all this were happening to me? To someone I love? To her mother?
One more thing I can say, from experience: Ambien is some scary s**t. When I was on that, I have no idea what I did. Evidently there are photos somewhere of me in a red sari, hugging the Vice President at a State Dinner … but I swear to God I have no memory of the whole thing.
Cameras, hair-fluffing, Secret Service, sneaking in the side door? It's a total blank.
am super late to this whole blog.
I the tall ad guy Pete meets at lunch when he exchanges a chip-and-dip for a 22-caliber rifle the same guy that Betty sleep with at the bar?
Hi unNYer,
Nope. Guy in Bar = a complete random.