On Children
Kahlil GibranYour children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Don had been a poor mentor most of this season. He was supposed to be there for Peggy, and instead he got caught up in other things. I think it’s no coincidence that after he assumes Peggy will just follow along meekly, his daughter takes him to task for the promises he didn’t keep, and then he goes back to Peggy and tells her he values her and that he made the mistake of thinking she was an extension of him. He is Peggy’s mentor much like he’s Sally’s father, but he owns neither of them. He can’t just mouth platitudes and expect them to look at him with trust and adoration.
Peggy is touched by his words, and she should be since he just gave her his version of the speech she gave to Pete last year. One day you’re one person, and then you lose something, and it’s gone for good, and you have to rethink who you are. There are tears in her eyes, but she has to know, “If I say no, if I tell you I’m ready to leave the nest, will I still matter?”
Pete has always looked up to Don, even when he was trying to betray him. Don was who he went to when his father died, and Don is the person who was loyal to when Duck sought to co-opt him. And Don has sent Pete away more than once. Now, he goes to Pete, who with his hair uncombed and wearing a robe, looks twelve. Oh, and by the way, Don, he stayed home from school, and he’s not really sick! Pete doesn’t want to hear what his talents are from Roger but from Don. “You saw this coming Pete. We didn’t. In fact, you’ve been ahead on a lot of things…We need you to keep us moving forward. I do, anyway.”
Both Peggy and Pete need Don to know that they’ve other offers. Both want his validation. Both need to hear the words from him. I’d call them twins, but that would be icky, considering their history. Pete and Peggy are the next generation. Bobby and Sally the generation after that. Don is not the future anymore, and he knows it. He does not seek to bury the next generation in Golden Tombs. For now, the older generations are following the lead of younger generations and taking risks. Maybe this comes from hanging out with school teachers who like to dance barefoot in the grass.
I can’t suss out how Don’s father fits into this, but he does. Maybe it’s that Don always saw himself in Archie’s image, but realizes he doesn’t have to make his mistakes, doesn’t always have to see himself as a whore child who is named after a castration wish. I know you all are going to tell me what I’m missing anyhow. 
102 Responses to “Empty Nest or They All Need to Fly the Sterling Coop Sometime!”
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Archie went off on his own and didn't care for the other members of the Farmer's Co-op. Don remembered that Archie's unwillingness to work with his team ending up costing him his life.
I saw this episode as Don making amends to the various people at S-C that he had treated badly – he acknowledged their strengths and what they brought to the job and said thank you's and we are a team-you's.
He was able to re-establish his relationships with them – but not with Betty. He's good at his job. His personal life? eh, not so much. But in order to succeed at what he wants to do, to create something, not simply exist at the whim of one boss v another – he has to do this with people he RESPECTS and treats with some honor.
The opposite of Archie and, in Don's current time, Hilton.
Soooo glad that Hilton is gone. What a bastard. Don was right about him and right to not go to him as an account. Hilton and PPL are like the current corpos who don't give a shit if they ruin the lives of people who have worked hard in order to squeeze out a few more pennies for their stockholders.
# 11 gypsy howell Says:
"I feel like I’ve been struggling for 3 seasons to try to be fair and understanding to Betty, trying to justify why she is the way she is, but the reality is, I just don’t give a shit about her. And now I don’t have to. The relief is palpable."
Amen sister, amen.
Though I must say when angry-Don says "you've been building a life raft and you're a whore" — I couldn't help but hate him a bit.
Mr.-money-stashed-in-drawer-in-case-he's caught-cheating-guy. whadda load of crap for him to spew at her.
Also, I was greatly relieved that Suzanne was no where to be seen – that particular thin-thread of a story had me walking out of the room to make a sandwich. (crossing fingers that she's gone for keeps)
So ~~~ glad the site is back up.
Betty is looking for security – she could not see it with Don. This is not pleasant for her. That phone scene was great – her expression and the tone of his voice – so sad but so necessary. They both knew it. They both love the children and they had become toxic to each other. Kudos to Betty for having the courage to be true to herself. Her first clue was when he gave her the bracelet charm. Then finding out about the false identity did it for her. Now she can have the country club life she wants.
Her making the break gave Don his chance to be true to himself.
@1 Thank you, esme, that makes wonderful sense, and I can't believe I missed that. This is the guy who wanted to be loyal to Mohawk last season.
What a Rocko Socko finale. Matthew had us guessing right up to Don's revelatory moment. Found myself cheering, especially when Lane was included. Love That! Next season, Don has to make BIG amends to Sal. Can hardly wait.
1
Everybody saying "again?" when getting the McCann news. Sitcom-like.
2
Don saying that the kids will be better off with him. One second later, baby Gene cries and Betty goes to comfort him while Don does nothing.
3
When the meeting in Pete's house is over, and Pete gives Trudy his instructions, they get together and then separate with a ballet-like gesture that also reminded me of old sitcoms. Dick van Dyke maybe.
Ms Darkley – I love that poem glad you reminded me of it.
With his new intergrated identity of Don/Dick. Don is learning how to be a good father. First to himself . He never had one. Now he is teaching himself how to be one. Standing up to Connie was a big step. It is like the fog is lifting for Don. He is learning to be true to himself. He is being a father to Peggy & Pete. He will figure out how to be one for Bobby & Sally.
He was being true to himself by not accepting being bought and sold any longer. Now his creative spark is back – he can pitch again. His pictch to Peggy & Pete was real and sincere. Since he is being true to himself he can maybe be true to a future lover.
Also, a thought about Sal. Looks like they could use him as an art director and keep the fact from Lucky Strike. Maybe they could pay him on the side.
Very uplifting finale – made all the past angst worth it.
He was able to re-establish his relationships with them – but not with Betty. He’s good at his job. His personal life? eh, not so much. But in order to succeed at what he wants to do, to create something, not simply exist at the whim of one boss v another – he has to do this with people he RESPECTS and treats with some honor.
I agree with you, Esme. I think it was a good thing that Don stopped trying to hold onto Betty (and vice versa). They each have to move on from the other, in order to see how they can survive without each other. Now, this time, maybe Don will be successful in his personal life, because he's not with someone he thinks "fits" the idea of what his life should be.
I hope that Betty's future works out as well. I'm just interested in seeing what Weiner and company have in store for us.
Betty's future now contains a daughter in law that is close to her age, and doesn't approve of her father's infatuation – she has already discussed it with Margaret.
Yes, Betty will live to regret her choice and show us another example of how the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know!
I wrote this in 3 separate comments in an orphan thread below, but I'm reposting here, so I can join the conversation:
“The only thing keeping you from being happy is the belief you are aloneâ€
Don finds out he can’t do it alone, and he doesn’t need to:
He needs Burt

He needs Roger

He needs Peggy

He needs Pete

He needs Lane

Everyone needs Joan
.
.
.
But he doesn’t need Betty.
It took me a second viewing the understand the meaning of his flashback. Archie thought he could just abandon the cooperative and go it alone, and it killed him.
I loved the small reference Archie made to having his own silo. Don’s been trapped in his own silo for so long — isolating and compartmentalizing himself and those around him — and therein lay the root of so much of his unhappiness.
I think Don may have finally overcome his Father Problem. When he says to Connie "that's why you call me son," it's with a dismissive bitterness. He's no longer trapped into simultaneously hating Archie and looking for a new daddy. That's why he's remembering Archie's death. The Archie we see here is as much lost and pathetic as he is nasty and violent. Don doesn't have to hate him anymore. He's dead. Don is the father now.
I have to say here that Elisabeth Moss's performance in the apartment scene is a wonder to behold. You can see she's moved to the brink of tears, yet still is determined not to give in. How does she do that???
Oh yeah, I forgot, 'Peter, may I speak to you for a moment', and the way his head dropped. LMFAO!
Connie Hilton is fickle, but you have to give him credit in this episode. He snaps Don out of it. He challenges him, tells him to be self-reliant. For Don, like Hilton, but unlike Suzanne's brother, it is a matter of will. So without Hilton, Don doesn't walk into Cooper's office that same day. He doesn't make the push.
Not only did Hilton give him the info about the McAnn sale, he gave him some inner fortitude.
That's a lot for a 3 minute scene, but the pace of the whole episode was that way. It was awesome. It was the band getting back together!
@esme on Archie– great parallels! I also read it this way: Archie had some principles. He was the lone holdout in the cooperative willing to acquiesce to the times. Archie wanted to eek out a living in order to sell the crop for more when supply was low and demand higher. That's honorable. But then his wife convinces him he can't do it. And he dies.
The way I see it–mortality erases everything. This is all there is. So even though you're getting divorced, even though the world seems to be falling apart, you pick yourself up, dust your pants off, and you keep going.
What a great post and great comments. I love the poem (and I usually have a hard time enjoying poetry) and it seems so apt here.
I really like the comparison of Pete and Peggy being the office version of Bobby and Sally. I had never thought of that before but it does make sense. I think that Don really loves his kids and though he won't fight Betty he will maintain a presense in their life. I really hope that for now Don concentrates on his kids and his new firm in that order and does not worry about the ladies to much till he gets into a better place.
Sally's angry words to Don and Betty was really a precursor to things to come, and it would be interesting to be a fly on the wall when Sally is a teen and Betty is trying to deal with her. Somehow, I think Don will get of lighter in Sally's eyes, at least until she is an adult. I also had a flash of a 20 something Sally sitting in a therapist's office in the late 70's early 80's complaining about her mother who has been married 3, 4, possibly 5 times. I mean I do hope things work out with Henry (though I don't trust him) but it seems like too much of a rebound relationship and now that the divorce genie is out of the bottle, once you do it once, doing it a second time and so on, won't be so hard. It is CRAZY to marry a stranger like that. I really hope that she leans on him during the divorce etc, but breaks it off before they get married b/c that is a bad idea. And what about the kids? Maybe it's bad for kids to grow up in a household with no love btwn the parents and lots of yelling but to put them in a house with a strange man? Based on my experience, my mother told me that she didn't date much and rarely brought men home after she left my dad b/c she thought it was not a good idea to have strange men in the house with her child, especially a girl child, b/c you never know what strangers are like. Just b/c Henry seems ok, for all we know he might beat the kids, might molest them, might be cruel to them, who knows? I doubt it based on what we've seen, but for her as a mother that is a big risk to expose her kids to a strange man like that. Plus, if he was willing to hit on a pregnant married woman before he was with her, what's to say he won't do it again. He has proven he has very little respect for the institution of marriage, so I don't see this ending well. Not good to marry the rebound dude. She needs to be like Helen Fischer and either keep the house and stay there, move to her Dad's old house, or buy a new one and stand on her own two feet and not run to another man.
Also, Lane had it for St John ever since the snake-Bombay scene, and I guess we were all rooting for what eventually happened in that last call. His parting words for Moneypenny, and the accompanying gesture, were great.
The Pierre is where Duck sees clients…
Yeah, I was wondering if the bed was the same one where Peggy and Duck…. (I can't even make myself type the words)
Though I must say when angry-Don says “you’ve been building a life raft and you’re a whore†— I couldn’t help but hate him a bit.
no honestly, I was completely with him on that. His line about "Oh you're SO good, and everyone else is so BAD" kind of explained it to me. He's telling her not to play pure and precious little victim with him – they equally guilty. She's no better than he is.
After he said that line about (paraphrasing) "I told you about my background, and now I'm not good enough for you" she AGREED. That sealed the deal for me. Even if she just said it in anger, she still meant it. Finding out about his rough beginnings, finding out he's NOT the football hero with father issues, was the thing that set her against him. And to think I was actually giving her the benefit of the doubt about that – I honestly didn't want to believe that her snobbery played into this, and it turns out it DID. Bye bye, Birdie. Hope Prince Charming is as rich as he's intimating.
I'm so happy for Don. Now I'd even be happy if he got back together with Suzanne. Think of how healing that might be for Sally & Bobby. Baby Gene might be lost to Betty's world, but Bobby & Sally aren't.
WHAT an episode!
First off, incredible episode. Endings as beginnings are the best.
On Betty, my little viewing party noticed a few things.
Don first tries to win Betty back with condescension, as if she just had a hard week and can't make choices.
Next he is drunk and tries to bully her physically and verbally. Calling her a "whore" was incredible powerful, considering his own birth-mom and the way he slept around. Finally he lets her go. We viewed it as finally treating Betty as an adult.
Betty, on the other hand, did try to be fairly decent and truthful to everyone, including the kids. (That scene was so tragic, I'm still so angry with Don and Betty.)
Ultimately, I think that Don had pushed her too far. If Don had tried to fix things or had come clean earlier, Betty would have stayed. She had to stand up to him in Season 2 and ultimately did give it another try with the hope of the new baby. But when things did not change, she lost her love for Don.
With the SCDP team, Don's change wasn't too late. I think he does need Betty. He just finally had to let her go, wishing that she can start new and get all that she couldn't from him.
When it comes to Don/Betty, I don't see a villain. I see tragedy.
Finally, the divorce opens up new storylines for Don's romantic adventures as well as new Don/Betty dynamics. How long could we go with the cheating and confessing? I couldn't and neither could Betty.
Can't wait until Season 4! I love BoK and everyone at Mad Men.
Ms. Darkly…Loved the title for this post! When Archie decided to leave the co-op, I thought that same play on words: he "flew the coop (co-op)".
Archie went off on his own and didn’t care for the other members of the Farmer’s Co-op. Don remembered that Archie’s unwillingness to work with his team ending up costing him his life.
#1esme… though it's hard to argue with your take, I had a slightly different reaction to Don on this. I saw Archie and Connie as very similiar. Both are, as Bert may say, Hank Reardon types who aspire (successfully, in Connie's case) to be "self-made" men.
To me, Archie's accident is what stunted Don (Dick). In Don's eyes, Archie got killed after trying to take the initiative and go it alone. So Dick hides behind the Don Draper image, his marriage, Connie's golden cuff links/hand cuffs. When Don finds out that Sterling Cooper is being sold, Don first wants Bert to do something about it because, as Bert points out, Don doesn't have the stomach for it. Bert forces Don to put some skin in the game. However, there's a neat compromise in that Don admits he can't go it alone and knowingly enlists the help of others.
Pete and Peggy are the next generation. Bobby and Sally the generation after that.
This is an interesting parallel because I've often thought that Pete and Peggy represent Dons "at work" version of Bobby and Sally. And in this episode the parallel felt stronger than ever.
Pete, like Bobby, mostly craves a paternal comfort from Don – Bobby wanting a hug and Pete wanting reassurance in his talents. Don doesn't have to work very hard to mollify either them.
Don has a harder time with Peggy and Sally. Both girls adore him and depend on him, but they have learned that he isn't perfect. Don has hurt them in the past and they are afraid he'll do it again.
@ esme 13 "Archie’s refusal to sell at the co-op price is what cost him the family farm."
Well, yes and no. If you follow the logic of the plot, after his wife tells him they can't make it to the winter, Archie decides to follow the Co-op's orders and sell the crop. So really, he dies doing what the Co-op wanted and not by selfishly holding out.
If he had done what he (selfishly?) wanted to, Archie wouldn't have died.
Now that's not what Don pulls from that memory. I think you're right about everything else.
He is being a father to Peggy & Pete. He will figure out how to be one for Bobby & Sally.
And I would argue his first step in doing so is his call to Betty – "I won't fight you." He is right that the kids would likely be better off with him than with Betty – although her parenting took a huge step forward with the telling of the kids about the divorce, January Jones broke my heart with her reaction to Bobby. But he also knows that getting the kids will mean a huge, ugly, divorce fight, that would not only expose his secret to his children, but also his likely accusations of Betty's infidelity (even if she hasn't actually slept with Henry, it looks really bed). That would be ugly for those kids.
A couple more thoughts (they're all tumbling out!)
Trudy was super awesome. You chose well, Pete! When trudy brought the sandwiches — AND A CAKE! — I loved the look of enlightenment on Don's face when he recognized what a marriage based on love and partnership really looks like. And then he knows he can let go of Betty and the soul-crushing life they have trapped each other in. I felt like such a HUGE weight was lifted when he let her go.
And that twinge of regret on Betty's face while they were on the phone "wait — you mean you're NOT going to put up a fight to keep me?" was so fulfilling for me. (Great job by JJ) I feel like I've been struggling for 3 seasons to try to be fair and understanding to Betty, trying to justify why she is the way she is, but the reality is, I just don't give a shit about her. And now I don't have to. The relief is palpable.
I love me some Lane Pryce. Happy Christmas!
Mike C. – I loved Betty's line about, "So, you think I'd have to be SICK to want out of this?" I can;t believe he was trying to go down the gaslight route again.
I believe that Peggy and Pete will have to distance themselves from Don eventually. They need to end this desire to rely upon his approval or respect. I had hoped it would be at the end of this season. But I guess we can't always get what we want.
Melissa – Totally. Everyone had a response to Don's lies. Betty wouldn't be pushed around. Sally, Roger, Pete, and Peggy also saw right through him. And it was so moving to see how Don progressed in his responses. Such great acting!!!
The progression with Peggy was especially good. As if bringing Smitty on board was comparable to Peggy. I loved how he came back to win her over.
@11 gypsy howell…
And that twinge of regret on Betty’s face while they were on the phone “wait — you mean you’re NOT going to put up a fight to keep me?â€
To quote a famous Vulcan: "…having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true."
well, if you're familiar with the workings of a farmer's co-op, they exist to help farmers survive by being able to work economies of scale issues for seed prices, etc. and for Archie to tell the rest of them to go to hell is like telling the people Don respects at S-C to go to hell.
Archie's refusal to sell at the co-op price is what cost him the family farm.
It's not honorable to get the benefit of the co-op when it helps you and then tell them to screw themselves when you want more money. Archie would never strike me as an honorable man by any means, and the hobo code seemed to agree.
While the "self-made man" is a persistent myth of American society, it's total bullshit. No one gets through this life without others helping them to survive. Or without that person scavenging on the carcass of someone else's life… which is helping someone to survive as well, just not co-operatively.
The show used up much of its time having Don make amends to his fellow S-C crew. He didn't strike out on his own. He created a team to create something that works. Don couldn't do the financials, he admitted. Pryce could. Don couldn't foresee the future, like Pete, or understand a female pov for selling ad copy, like Peggy. Joan knew where the bodies were buried in the files. Roger brought in the big account that staked their claim. Harry… showed up for now. He found the floor. (hehheh)
Archie's abysmal failure to be a decent human in all aspects of his life is what haunted Don. The kick in the head was just the final… kicker.
What I do expect….is that something awful (plane crash, car wreck, horseshoe in the face) will happen to Henry Francis BEFORE Betty can marry him!
Well, let's see. Depending on when Rockefeller's campaign died and he had to acquiese to the Goldwater nomination, it might give Henry time to get hired by another campaign – namely Ted Kennedy's campaign for Senate in MA. Then, Francis can be one of the unfortunate deaths when Kennedy's campaign plane crashes.
Freudian slip – "looks really bad" not bed
I am thrilled at the spin off agency. It means a lot will happen in 2010. What I do expect….is that something awful (plane crash, car wreck, horseshoe in the face) will happen to Henry Francis BEFORE Betty can marry him! And, that she won't be divorced as yet. So, she'll have to learn to be a wife, a real one, to Don. Well…that's my take. Such a superlative show. I will miss the substance of a show on Sunday night.
The Pierre is where Duck sees clients…
Loved the ep! Maybe the new digs will not be on Madison Ave. Maybe Roger and Don will duke it out over Sal. Maybe Don burying his fathers and starting over means we won't have any more kid Dick flashbacks.
Loved how Harry keeps coasting. Enjoyed Trudy's every move.
#5 – love the post!
Regarding Don's father… did he have a horse-shoe print on his face after he was "kicked by a horse"? That is what it looked like to me. It reminded me of the award Don won in season 2 (?) that was a wooden plaque with a horseshoe on it. I think it's in his office now – but remember the horse-shoe swinging off the award in his bedroom?
I always wondered why a NYC community of advertising exec's would use the symbol of a horse-shoe. It's been in the 'background' of Don's office life this entire season… hmm…
#27: We got the same reading over at my place of the Don/Betty storyline. So many Betty-haters, and yet it's Don who suggests once more that all Betty needs is to see a doctor, a good one. The problems aren't in her head; they're real. Frankly, despite how hot Don is and how good he is at his job (and in bed), that wouldn't be enough for me. Going with Henry, on the other hand, is a mistake. Out of the frying pan and into the fire and all that. But Betty will learn; she's remarkably strong. She's just trying to find her legs. I think they need to be apart to have any chance of being together again — in a satisfying way for both of them. My best friend's parents, married in the early 60s when they were much too young, and separated in the 80s to figure themselves out. They got back together again in a much better place after 2 years. (Sadly, he passed away too early, but that's neither here nor there.)
The scene where they tell the kids was the most solid they were as parents, together, as I've seen them ever. They actually empathized with the kids. (Yes, Betty, too.) And the scene on the phone when he tells her he's letting her go was painful; I thought Betty was saddened a little that he wouldn't fight for her. But glad, too, to see that he wasn't trying to control her again.
My bet is they come back together again, but not for a while.
I, too, find it hard to argue with Esme's analysis, but my take on the Archie flashbacks is more like Matt's (#8), at least in part.
Don realizes that he can't go it alone in a new business, but he also sees that he has gained strength from his real father and from his father-figure, Hilton. Despite all of their flaws–and they are many, especially Archie's–there were some good things that Don learned from them. The good part of the "self-made, go-it-alone" man has given Don a model of a person who doesn't just give up or settle for what he's dealt. The first time he used that strength, Dick became Don Draper. In some ways, that hasn't worked at all–but in other ways, it's worked very well. For me, the most telling thing was that, when he saw his father killed by the horse, Dick did not immediately feel happy or relieved. He ran to Archie and cried out, "Daddy!" Despite everything that was despicable about Archie–everything that we've heard about and seen through Don's eyes until this episode–Dick/Don now sees (or maybe just *feels*) that there is something positive for him to remember about his relationship with his father. He used it in the S3 finale when he had the strength to extract himself from the SC situation and come up with a plan. Unlike his father, though, he makes an *intelligent* plan and, as noted by others, understands that he can't completely go it alone.
To be able to look back on a very bad relationship–especially with a parent–and recognize that there may have been even one good aspect of that relationship is a big step in Don's personal growth. It's the beginning of forgiveness and letting go of the resentment, even hatred. Now he can begin to live an authentic life, not a life that's mainly about running from the past. Not that this will all happen miraculously and easily. But he has begun.
But, oh Betty. She still has a long way to go! In some ways, her road is harder because the society of her time vigorously encouraged her false self, her role as the beautiful housecat/fairy tale princess–and supported the image of what appeared to be her perfect childhood. (And of course, advertising and television were very powerful in supporting those images.) As a woman who lived during the 1960's-70's "consciousness raising," I can say that it was extremely hard to make that kind of figure/ground change in one's perspective–and I was much younger and less immersed (no marriage, no kids) than Betty!
When it comes to Don/Betty, I don’t see a villain. I see tragedy.
Agreed 100%.
If Don had spoken to Betty the way he did with Peggy & Pete – "I need you, I can't do this alone" back before she had to break into his secret drawer to get him to come clean then maybe there would have been a chance for them. She tried again and again to get through to the real Don, he rebuffed her and gaslighted her. Of course she can't ever trust or love him anymore. I think people are making way too much of her snobbery. Yes, it's there, but her confirming it was meant to wound the lying liar of a man who just called her a whore.
I loved that the speech to Peggy works on so many levels – Peggy's pregnancy, Don's divorce, the assassination. And so amazingly well-acted. Hamm and Moss are awesome.
@Mike Gibson – I agree with you. I actually thought that with this flashback, Don was seeing his father more clearly and in a less judgmental way; as flawed, but someone who had faced difficult decisions and had a hard life. In his flashback with the kids in the motel, he'd been able to laugh at his father's joke. I think Don's hatred for his father kept him from growing up fully- now he's moved past that, forgiven his father, in a sense, and let go of so much of that anger and truly let his father go. I hope we are over the flashback stuff and the hokey jugs and bad haircuts.
@Gypsy "Now I’d even be happy if he got back together with Suzanne. Think of how healing that might be for Sally & Bobby". You and I are in the minority, but I thought of the same thing. I liked them together; she's kind of the earth mother, free spirit, 60's symbol. I'm just wondering how she would fit into the wife of an ad exec role and if Don would ultimately be happy with a former teacher from a modest background- just not sure.
If Don had spoken to Betty the way he did with Peggy & Pete – “I need you, I can’t do this alone†back before she had to break into his secret drawer to get him to come clean then maybe there would have been a chance for them. She tried again and again to get through to the real Don, he rebuffed her and gaslighted her. Of course she can’t ever trust or love him anymore. I think people are making way too much of her snobbery. Yes, it’s there, but her confirming it was meant to wound the lying liar of a man who just called her a whore.
What if there was no chance for them? Don has tried the understanding "husband/father" route before. At the beginning of both Seasons 2 and 3, he was in the middle of this act of his. And eventually, it failed.
Enough. It's time for the Draper marriage to end. I doubt that Don and Betty could ever make each other happy.
#37 I am in total agreement with you, I am sick to death of the Draper marriage. My point was that Don missed whatever chance he had to be real with Betty. And no, he never tried for a minute to understand her. He treated her like his property, just as he had been treating Peggy.
Yeah, that marriage is dead and I hope it gets buried. Because zombies are stinky and ruin your day.
"[Suzanne]’s kind of the earth mother, free spirit, 60’s symbol. "
I think that's probably what she's SUPPOSED to represent, but for me it just didn't come off that way. I don't know if it was the writing or the acting, or maybe just the way the story unfolded, but if that's what they were going for it totally didn't work on my TV.
I haven't read the open thread in its entirety because I'm at work so I don't know if anyone mentioned this, but here is my thought:
When we are first introduced to Connie in "My Old Kentucky Home", Don tells him about losing the family farm and moving to Pennsylvania. Now in the closing episode we see Don saying goodbye to Connie and "buying back the farm" with Bert and Roger. I see this as the reason for the Conrad Hilton storyline. Don was able to grow to a point where he can stop running and build his own success in his own way with the people he wants to be with in part, because of what he has experienced in that relationship with Conrad Hilton.
Not an end, but a new and exciting beginning.
Great comments everyone. A few observations that I hadn't seen here yet:
Have you noticed that when MW wants Don Draper to look menacing, like he was in the bedroom scene where he wakes up Betty to ask her about Henry Francis, he shoots Jon Hamm from below with light shining on his face and a little back lighting (in this scene from the hall coming into the bedroom). In those scenes, the resemblance between DD and Archie is eerie, and given how rough he is with Betty, it's almost like he's channeling Archie. DD didn't have a decent father figure/role model. But as others have observed, something changes – he changes. So that by the end of the episode it's a much more civil, and civilized DD who makes that phone call to Betty to agree to the divorce. He's buried old ghosts.
This episode, which MW co-write and directed, made me realize how much like the old French play Cyrano de Bergerac this series is. Not because of the plot. But because the relationship between Cyrano and Christian, the handsome soldier that the big-nosed Cyrano writes poems for, is very much like the relationship between MW and Jon Hamm. Hamm says all those beautiful or profound things that we love DD for, even when we're not loving what his character is doing at the moment. But it's MW who's putting those words in his mouth. He may not be as easy on the eyes as JH (and he's definitely not a Cyrano), but when we love DD, it's really what's coming from the heart and soul of MW that we love. Once again, props to the writer!
"Don has tried the understanding “husband/father†route before. At the beginning of both Seasons 2 and 3, he was in the middle of this act of his. And eventually, it failed."
I think it failed because I never felt he truly committed. He seemed to be just going through the motions. I'm with Donny Brook and others in that more honesty earlier in the relationship might have helped. But now, in the post-drawer era, there's a trust deficit that's too large, she can't believe anything he says. The real Don fesses up, and she doesn't like what she sees.
Betty said she already knew he'd grown up poor, so I don't think class is the heart of it. It's the fact that the "real Don" proved to be a serial liar once again — and has always been a serial liar, right from the start. She feels sorry for him, especially during the Adam confession, but in the end it's a lie that's so big she can't get over it. She can't trust him emotionally anymore when he says it's going to be okay…it's all dead.
I don't know if the marriage should be saved. Great post, Mike C., on the tragedy of it all. They both need to grow up, and both are at fault. Maybe, maybe if he'd come clean on his own things could have worked out, but it was very true to character that he didn't. They're both so damaged, but he has to take more responsibility for building it all on a falsehood.
I don't even know how much of Betty we'll even see anymore, since this is such a Don-centric show, everyone else is on the periphery. I hope we do see more of her, however, even if the Betty-haters are popping the champagne. Getting a new prince charming because the first one turned out badly is sooo not the answer, but it was a very realistic choice, too. I agree with #34, her road is much harder, but I have hope for her. Her world is not overflowing with examples of how to be an independent woman, but I think she very might well have bolted last season if not for her pregnancy. She's at least being more honest with herself about what she will and will not put up with.
But oh, Don. It did strike me that, once again, he can make a good sales pitch to everyone but Betty. It's not going to blow over if she just goes and has a lie-down. Then there's the ugliness of the whore comment, and the possessive violence — hello, double standards! Considering the sheer number of affairs he's had and all the life-rafts he's kept, the scales aren't nearly equal, but he still gets to play the righteous one even as he condemns her for putting her nose in the air. (And how lucky is he that Sally doesn't know he's been cheating on Mommy with her teacher? Yikes.) Once again, I like Don the ad man far more than I like Don the husband. It's too bad.
Rodger was right, he's never valued relationships. At least he's turning it around with the SCDP team. Maybe he can try being honest and connected in his personal relationships, too.
from sjrw: She’s just trying to find her legs. I think they need to be apart to have any chance of being together again — in a satisfying way for both of them.
LOL. I know what you're saying, but the Paul Kinsey mind in the gutter theatre is having fun with that one too.
I got the sense, from the Valentine's Day episode when Don couldn't shoot his arrow to her heart, that Betty isn't sexually confident or knowledgeable. She said something like "If you would just tell me what to do…" when Don found his quiver was missing.
She blamed herself but maybe that's another way that Betty wasn't a grown up.
re: the Archies: I can see where that view comes from but I also think that young children love their parents no matter what kind of bastards they are. Archie was his father. it's painful to lose a parent when you're a child. no matter what they may have done.
Hilton basically told Don that he (Hilton) was a son of a bitch because he didn't care what happened to other people. he didn't care how much he messed with their lives…those middle of the night calls with a baby in the house, his expectation that don was on call, his rejection of Don's ad campaign because Hilton had such great ideas like putting a mouse in a hotel ad… his machinations to make don sign a contract that put Hilton at no obligation…
Hilton told Don he'd make lots of money with McCann. He didn't care what Don did. He just refused to take any responsibility for his actions that brought Don to the point he was at.
so, yeah, Hilton tells Don to suck it up and go on. so what? he didn't think Don was "one of those people." what people? people who have hard luck? Hilton's a "bright sider?" Hilton isn't a role model for Don. Hilton is the son of a bitch who made Don see that he doesn't want to sell his soul to Hilton or McCann or any other name.
You don't have to get jerked around by Hilton to know that. Don knew it before Hilton came along. PPL threw Don into survival mode.
See, I didn't see her as thinking of Don's feelings at all. Like, when she insisted on him coming out and meeting her brother when it was clear that he was highly uncomfortable doing so. Or the out-of-left-field tongue lashing she gave him at the eclipse. She struck me as an it's-all-about-MEEEEEE type.
I'm glad Suzanne wasn't in the finale. While I'm not hot or cold for teacher, my guess is that she'll be back. The business card to her brother might pay off completely next time around.
On a tangent. I am still reeling on the divorce talk with the kids. Don is usually so cold to Bobby. It was heartbreaking to see the boy face consequences of a situation he can't understand. The power of the hug was incredible. Of course, when Don said "be a big boy", my fury at Don/Betty boiled over again.
Maybe this is because I'm a new father, but it seems like Don/Betty are more focused on shooting the arrows of their own lives intead of directing their kids. Sally/Bobby are just along for the ride. It's complicated.
I agree that Don and Betty are done, but I'm disappointed that Betty left as somewhat of a villain. I don't see her that way.
As for Betty and Henry's relationship, I think it's important to look at it with a 1962 point of view. I tend to cringe at her choices, but things were different then. Women were not set up to live on their own. For the most part, they had to 'build a raft' in order to leave. Couples didn't get to know each other as well before they married in those days. Now, people live together before getting married. That was unheard of in those days, especially for a 'respectable' girl. Birth control had just come into play a couple of years before, so sometimes couples didn't have sex before marrying or at least before getting engaged.
We've still got the business card. Something's gotta come up with that business card.
BUT I am in FULL and satisfied agreement with everyone who says this is an amazingly satisfying season finale, though Sal better be ALL over the season premiere.
I might answer the phone "Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce!" a few times because the phrase just makes me so happy.
@ 16 patroadtrip- I love bedroom farce. Wouldn't Peggy running into Duck into the hallway be funny?
I feel like this entire season had "reset button technique" written all over it. Season 2 finale's big plot twist was the sale of SC and Duck's promotion and firing. This season we saw Joan leave and the arrival of new boss Guy in the same episode. But…hmmm…Guy conveniently gets his foot cut off and we're back to status quo. Now Joan's back. They'll probably find a way to get Sal back and rehire the rest of the gang when McCann Erickson lays them off. Even Lois can come back.
The new SCDP will be like good old SC in season 1 with Joan, no Duck, and no contract for Don!
I'm a bit confused…didn't Betty point blank tell Don she was going to Reno and that's how the marriage was going to end? Didn't he agree to that when he said he wouldn't fight the divorce?
It is odd that he's not staying with them while she's gone. Well, they're probably better off with Carla, anyway. I know everyone says Betty is a cold mom but I don't think either of them are great shakes in that department (which probably goes back to their own experience). The stiff upper lip model was the only one they've got.
@62- bob, I agree with you're reaction to Betty's "That's right." Much as I didn't want to believe it, Betty never would have married someone with Dick's background. Not saying that's the only reason for the problems between them (not by a long shot), but it does kind of validate Don's fear of being truthful with her from the beginning.
For all you Suzanne-haters and Danny-worriers:
I was in the "Dump Suzanne And Quick" camp, but now I could kind of see Don reuniting with her. There won't be any particular damage to the kids at this point (no more than is being done to them right now anyway) and Sally DOES love Suzanne, and Suzanne DOES seem so nurturing of children. So… not saying it's necessarily likely to happen, but I don't think I would mind if it did.
Danny having Don's business card doesn't seem like much of a threat anymore, once the divorce is final. In the words of Bert Cooper "Who cares?" The terrible consequences of Don & Suzanne's affair being exposed have pretty much evaporated. Suzanne's job is the only thing at risk now.
#52: "As for Betty and Henry’s relationship, I think it’s important to look at it with a 1962 point of view." I completely agree with your paragraph on this topic.
#51: "Sally/Bobby are just along for the ride." Long before MM, I used that phrase to describe what being a child was like in the 50's and 60's (and probably before that.) While many parents were more self-sacrificing than Don and Betty ("staying together for the children," etc.), family life revolved around the parents, not the children. The reversal of that perspective started to take hold in the later 60's/early 70's. As in #52, above, male-female relationships, marriage and parenting were viewed in very different ways then than they are now. One of my greatest joys in watching MM is that it reminds me of all of those things that I lived, but had partially forgotten because so much has changed! Intense.
Side note on the Danny/business card topic: After the old phone number doesn't work, it wouldn't be that hard to look up the new agency in the phone book. The name still starts with "Sterling Cooper" Nevertheless, I think it's just as likely that the Suzanne/Danny story is over.
"What was the hurry?"
Isn't it right before Christmas? Six weeks in Reno would put Betty there during Christmas, wouldn't it? And the kids ask about Christmas and they're told they'll have two. Hmmm.
“What was the hurry?â€
Mid-December through end of January. Wanna bet it was at Henry's urging, so he could get this wrapped up before it impinged on his campaign work in the Spring?
Betty Betty Betty Betty, what have you gotten yourself into? (And why don't I care?) I kind hope for Don's sake that she stays under Henry's spell until the divorce is final – that silver-haired shit just talked her into relinquishing whatever financial independence she might have gotten from the divorce, just to soothe his huge ego. "I don't want you to owe him anything." Yes, that's right, Betty — he wants you to owe HIM everything. Bad move, princess. Looks like you're setting yourself up to be a house cat for a long time. And the eventual divorce settlement from Henry won't be nearly so lucrative as the one from Don would have been.
Wonder if she'll figure this out before it's too late?
"Couples didn’t get to know each other as well before they married in those days. Now, people live together before getting married. That was unheard of in those days, especially for a ‘respectable’ girl."
I remember reading an ettiquette book from the 1930's that said you should never date someone longer than six months if you're not going to be engaged, because you'd be wasting his/her time. WWII changed a lot, sure, but our Mad folks are only a generation removed from that attitude.
And I don;t know about the whole idea of Susan "nurturing children" or "loving children." So far, all I've seen her do is either project her own emotional baggage on them or have inappropriate conversations in front of them. I get the idea that the only reason she became a teacher is to exorcise her own childhood demons.
"that silver-haired shit just talked her into relinquishing whatever financial independence she might have gotten from the divorce, just to soothe his huge ego."
I know. He talked her into taking nothing so she wouldn't "owe" Don anything. She'll owe Henry plenty.
I think you had to stay there in Reno. In fact, divorce was a big industry there and people coming and staying (many of them wealthy), provided a lot of revenue. I think it was the only place at that time that allowed a "no-fault" divorce.
"When it comes to Don/Betty, I don’t see a villain. I see tragedy."
Amen!
I think Peggy's decision also effectively ended her relationship with Duck.
Aside from the booty call he really wanted to take her away from Don.
She in turn (after a big nudge) said YES to everything Duck hates Don, Bert, Roger & PP&L.
So hopefully no more Dicks in Dickies for S4.
I think there will be more to Betty's story – she will need Don's help at some point. Of course Don will provide for the children. She was suppose to get something from her father's estate hope Henry doesn't tell her to let that go too. Henry is way creepy and this is way too fast and she is letting him tell her what to do. Was it revealed why he is single? I don't recall.
#73 Austin06, I did some reading today about divorce laws in 1963 NY State. At the time, it had one of the strictest divorce codes in the country, forcing New Yorkers to look elsewhere. Many went to Mexico, leading to the term "Mexican divorce" which was not always recognized by the courts.
In Reno, you could file for divorce after residing for six weeks (ergo the song, Six Weeks in Reno). Your divorce became final after two weeks. An alternative to Reno, it turns out, was Alabama, and more than twice as many divorces were granted there than in Nevada. But by 1964, Alabama's easy divorces were blocked by its legislature.
The NY code was amended in 1966, but it remains the only state in the U.S. that does not allow divorce for "irreconcilable differences."
#77 Great research. Just imagine all the people who didn't have the means to pick up and leave for 6 weeks. They were simply trapped in unhappy marriages.
What I thought was extremely troubling was that Henry accompanied Betty to the divorce lawyer and then to Reno. It seems Betty would have had a friend there to hold her hand. He then had the audacity to suggest that the lawyer not assume he and Betty were sleeping together because it might cause a scandal in the governor's office. I'm sure that was a foreshadowing of things to come. Don may have some leverage over Henry seeing how he is politician and does not want any bad press. Likewise, Henry could use his political affiliations to railroad Don and his new business.
Also, what will life be like with the proud parents, Pete and Peggy, situated across from each other.
re: Suzanne – I don’t know if it was the writing or the acting, or maybe just the way the story unfolded, but if that’s what they were going for it totally didn’t work on my TV.
Even tho I did say I liked the Don/Suzanne combo…I do think that,especially at the beginning, her character came off as flaky beyond the “free spirit” stuff; the maypole dance, the drunken phone call. It’s not until the last episode she was in when she is left to walk back home alone, then answers Don’s call the next morning, that she seemed more serious and complex to me. Certainly she was used as the opposite to Betty in every way: dark hair, loves kids, loves her brother, thinks of Don’s feelings, actually sweats
. As I said b4 tho, her as the wife of an ad exec could be a real stretch. I’ll just be very curious to see if this story line with her continues next season as it seemed to be set up perfectly to now resume.
Gingere, that’s an interesting correlation between Peggy and Pete and Bobby and Sally. I really hadn’t thought about that but I guess it’s true. I would further argue that Don latched on to Pete and Peggy because they are the most like him in the realm of secrets. They all have those big secrets floating out there. Secrets that kind of make them bad, selfish people. Don stole a dead comrades identity and somehow ended up married to his wife. Peggy walked away from her newborn (with Don’s encouragement) and Pete made that baby with her and they pretend like it doesn’t exist.
These are secrets that if exposed would destroy, as Don has learned, their marriages (Pete) and their careers (Peggy). What has been fascinating about Mad Men is the ability of the writers to accurately depict human behavior. They do an excellent job of telling just how selfish we all are and how our personal comforts are the priority…..the teacher who slept with her student’s married father, the executive who left his wife for his 12 year old secretary…..we often choose the wrong thing for our own immediate gratification.
Which falls in line with Betty’s behavior. Everyone keeps ragging on her which is understandable but not necessarily deserved. She did do what she needed to do to keep her family intact ( however cold and distant she was in the process). I would venture that she would not be leaving Don if he did not have that huge secret that he kept from her. She probably would not be going through with this relationship with Henry. Don took away her choices when he did not tell her before they got married. Now she is forced to scramble to make sense of her life and to make it real.
As human behavior would have it, I think a woman who has 3 children with a man, loves that man. I think she is hurt and acting irrationally. The romantic in me hopes that Don and Betty find their way back to each other as they learn to be better people.
#43: LOL, Esme. I should’ve re-read before posting.
#44: I am so DONE with Suzanne. That would fall apart quickly in a different context — it’s easy to be romantic with a mistress, not the wife you’ve been cheating on and keeping secrets from all along.
#45: I agree. I think Betty is trying to make sense of her life and it’s not going smoothly. I think she does love Don, but is so angry, rightfully so, and wants out because it’s easier right now than trying to fix it, especially as neither she nor he have the tools. He’s not fully changed — note his comment for her to see a doctor, as if, as she said, she had to be sick to be feeling disgusted with him — and I don’t understand why he gets a pass and she doesn’t. I remember feeling so terrible for her in the first two seasons, especially when she’d be so glad for the crumbs he’d throw her (when he asked for her help with the dinner). How she got sad in the car when she was trying to explain how she’d like to be his partner.
#46: She was weird and selfish. And clearly had been down the cheating-with-married-men road before.
#46- I’m already vocally in the “yuck, Suzanne” camp. She didn’t do anything for me and the way she was apparently intended to be portrayed did not work for me.
Maybe it’s b/c I’m a female. Seeing Suzanne drunk dial and hit on a married man whose wife is major preggers was just too sleazy to allow me to believe she’s this pure, loving person. That kind of behavior is just repulsive and anyone who does it is a skank, to me.
She’d obviously had affairs with other married men, so there goes that whole “pure and loving” thing again. Maybe her fetish was married men who were… missing convenience in part of their marriage because of the baby in the oven. Because they were easy.
If Don hooks up with Suzanne again, I will definitely have to refill the wine glass during that part of the show.
Great post! but something keeps bothering me,
with Betty gone in Reno for at least 6 weeks to establish residency to get the divorce, and the we Don moving his stuff into the new apartment did she just let Don assume that she was staying in Ossining and stick Carla with the kids or what?
cause i would assume Don would just stay with the kids if Betty isnt there especially after they just dropped a bombshell on them…..sooo somebody help!
#62 – I don't believe it. In the episode when Don confessed to Betty, she said that she had always known he came from a poor background and that he was ashamed of it. Money and class didn't matter to her when she married Don.
It's true that Don's not good enough for her. At this point he is not good enough for anyone. Betty, or any woman, deserves a man who doesn't cheat and lie and act so recklessly and disrespectfully to his wife and children. He never respected Betty enough to be honest with her before marrying her and essentially trapping her in his fraud of a life. And he had an affair with Sally's teacher for godssake. How would Sally feel about that? Don's not good enough for his whole family.
You know, technically the business card Danny has is now obsolete.
@55 “You know, technically the business card Danny has is now obsolete.”
That is a hilarious point! Well done.
Also — Sorry that was a bit of a repeat — my post went up after a minute or two because it seems that many brilliant minds were posting at the same second!
OH — I will say — I haven’t come across this yet, that the ending with Carla sitting on the couch WITH the kids resonated with deep significance, I think.
Not only is Carla stepping in as the parent while Betty is (presumably, as has been pointed out, unknown to Don) away for a month and a half, but she’s sitting on the couch WITH the family, as an equal.
I think we’re going to go forward in time next season. I see Bobby and Sally becoming aware of what the Civil Rights movement is all about.
#56
I respectfully disagree on the “reset”. It is a new beginning where many things are the same but things are also so very different.
If we go with the reset idea, every season finale could be described that way. Don might lose it all to Pete but Yoda don’t care. Betty stands up to Don but baby keeps them together. Sterling is getting bought but they all leave together.
I think this is the biggest shake up because much of the cast might not be back(I hope I’m wrong).
#55 — You’re right! In all my excitement about the new agency, I still hadn’t thought of that. Maybe we’re really finished with Suzanne after all — I don’t see Danny going through a lot of trouble to track Don down. And he doesn’t live at the house anymore…so Susan wouldn’t know where to reach him.
#58
Sarah M., looks like we think alike, even if we are probably wrong. Hah.
But I didn’t realize the significance of the Carla scene. Great catch! It is also somewhat of a parallel to how Betty was raised, too. Maybe there will more civil rights next season, but on the micro scale, I am excited to see more development of Carla.
Look, Betty outed herself with one of her most sincere, intensely delivered lines:
Don:Something like:”I’m just not good enough for a mainline girl.”
Betty:”THAT’S RIGHT!”
Once the box was opened, the marriage was over. As a secret, Betty could imagine Don being “quality.” But knowing the truth, Betty cannot be married to Dick Whitman, no matter how he behaves or what he has. It isn’t what Dick Whitman has ever done, it is who and what Dick Whitman is.
Beneath her.
Don always had to lie to Betty about who he was.
@62 “But knowing the truth, Betty cannot be married to Dick Whitman, no matter how he behaves or what he has.”
I don’t know if that’s true.
I’m more in line with #42. Class isn’t the issue.
When they were yelling at each other, she said something like “i’ve NEVER been enough for you.” He yelled back, “You have EVERYTHING.” Both yell over each other and miss the point. Ultimately Betty wanted Don more than the stuff he claims he provided. Don is probably a serial cheater but at the same time, never felt fully loved by Betty because while he was hiding is true identity, he never allowed her to.
I dont know if it’s just me who thinks that it was heartless and selfish for Betty to fly off with Gene and Henry right after telling the kids that their world was falling apart.
She leaves them with Carla?
What was the hurry?
“that silver-haired shit just talked her into relinquishing whatever financial independence she might have gotten from the divorce, just to soothe his huge ego.â€
Isn't that a harsh description of Henry?
Perhaps I had missed something, but did Conrad Hilton allowed Don out of his three-year contract to Sterling Cooper? If so, what was the point of "Seven Twenty-Three"?
Just a thought: couldn’t Betty establish residency in Reno by renting an apartment, getting phone service, etc., but not actually live there the entire 6 weeks?
Hmm, I did think she’d have to live in Reno most of the time. At least, that’s how it worked in “The Women.” I admit I’m completely useless because I can cite no law on this, only old movies! Maybe she couldn’t take the kids out of school, but will come back to get them for Christmas break. I think it was believable that she flew off ASAP. Right or wrong, Betts is probably thinking that the sooner the divorce mess is all over with, the sooner they can start getting back to ‘normal.’
Re: the class issue, Don is taking it that way — he’s not good enough because of what he is — but I really believe Betty’s thinking he’s not good enough for a mainline girl because of what he’s done. It’s no real justification for lying about his origins, anyhow; if Betty wouldn’t take him for what he was, they’d have been better off not marrying in the first place. I still think the class issue was survivable, since Betty sussed that part out a long time ago; but discovering more lies and deceptions on top of that just undermined it further.
#80 Lane Pryce fired Don, Roger and Bert with no severance, thereby voiding their contracts with SC.
#79 & #81 I agree completely – Don " infantilizes her as if her feelings were temporary hiccups that can be smoothed over with pills and “doctors,â€
Betty does act like a child mostly because the men in her life Don & Gene treat her like one. She's an ice princess because she's been sheltered so much and given many superficial things but not any real connection.
They are both to blame for everything. They had this fairy tale image/ideal of each other that neither was able to live up to. And that Don acts with so much impunity regarding his dirty deeds is revolting. He is careless & could care less.
I loved Betty's reaction "I have to be sick to want out of this". To treat his Dick Whitman deceit as such a small thing is horrible & painful.
Both Betty and Don brought a view of marriage that was basically a fantasy (unfortunately, not the same fantasy). I think many men had what was essentially a very Victorian view of marriage and that was that it was all about appearances. The appearance of home, wife, children were all external symbols of a man's success (I vividly remember a professor in a business class repeatedly referring to success as "house with a two-car garage in the suburbs, wife, two-three kids"–and this was late 70s). I think as long as he provided well economically for his family and did not embarrass his wife with his affairs, he thought he was a good husband.
And Betty, poor thing, thought if she had all the stuff and Don's love, she would be happy. But that's not a life that makes anybody happy, really. Especially if you don't like your children.
"She’s an ice princess because she’s been sheltered so much and given many superficial things but not any real connection. "
Heck, I know I'd be pretty taciturn myself if I grew up having to pay a "small talk" fine if my parents didn't think what I had to say was important enough.
Archie belongs to a co-opt, but market forces drive crop prices down, and the actions of the co-opt to sell are self reinforcing downward pressure. Archie wants to wait fro some price recovery, but is convinced that his family cannot ride out the dip.
co-ops keep farmers from undercutting one another.. getting into price wars that destroy businesses.
honestly, since Archie died because of his reactionary actions, both with the co-op and with his wife, I don't really see him as "taking control of his destiny" unless you mean to say that his death was his destiny b/c he was too reactionary, too ill-tempered and too drunk to deal with others in his life.
this was in the great depression. there was no subsidy for the wheat crop so prices were lower than any of them wanted. maybe he would have made a little more, but honestly, he wasn't going to make the big score.
in any case, the whole backstory is a contrivance to explain how Archie died and to goad Don to action – he has this memory of his dad when he walks into S-C and imagines it's all gone because PPL sold them all out.
personally, the flashbacks are my least favorite part of the entire series and I hope that, with Don becoming a partner, with the 60s upon him, they will stop.
#79: I love Don, but I agree. We’re so hard on Betty here but not hard enough on Don. He was menacing when he woke her up but there’s more discussion re: how cold Betty is to him. With a husband who shuts her out and lies to her, and then, after being found out and supposedly wanting to start over, still infantilizes her as if her feelings were temporary hiccups that can be smoothed over with pills and “doctors,” how else is she supposed to respond? Money doesn’t matter to her as much as love. She’s looking for it in the wrong places right now, but that’s what she wants.
I didn't like this season as much as the last…… With that said, the season finale was superb.
I did however enjoy reading and talking with you guys, it was a blast!
#85 freeperson I agree with you!
"now… I will have a seat, as I shut the door"
I don't think Betty marries Henry right after getting a divorce. Remember, he's trying to avoid having happen to him what's about to happen to his boss (Rocky), creating a scandal around "homewrecking." He might give her money to get settled, but I think they will wait long enough for it that it doesn't look to the public like Betty left Don for him.
I can't believe all the people who think Don was right to call Betty a "whore." We've come a long way…NOT. Betty is not the one who screwed around with impunity during almost the entirety of their marriage. Like I said in the open thread, Betty gave him a second chance already and he blew it. Had Betty not found the box, he'd still be carrying on with Suzanne, and it would have continued to get more serious, and it was only a matter of time before she found out about that.
In a way, he's getting off easy. His marriage breaking up now over her discovering he's an identity thief, versus it breaking up later after his daughter discovers he's boffing her favorite teacher? He's lucky the worst thing that happened to him was his wife falling in love with Mr. Boring and wanting out.
I think the lesson Don draws from the death of Archie Whitman is this: “Control your destiny, or someone else will.”
Archie belongs to a co-opt, but market forces drive crop prices down, and the actions of the co-opt to sell are self reinforcing downward pressure. Archie wants to wait fro some price recovery, but is convinced that his family cannot ride out the dip.
Archie dies when he gives in to forces beyond his ability to control. Archie is over matched by circumstances, and alone in his final actions.
Don sees this clearly in the context of Conrad Hilton’s remarks and he reaches a fateful decision. Don will now take control. The road is not smooth. He faces initial lack of cooperation and outright refusal from those he approaches.
I expect that the opening graphic for season four will change. Don’s world is no longer in free fall. Unlike Archie, Don has improvised, adapted and overcome.
The big Don/Betty confrontation gave a lot of insight into why this marriage was never happy. The things that they said to each other in anger kind of hit the nail on the head. Don made Betty feel like he needed something more than she could give and Betty made Don feel like he wasn't good enough for her.
The truth is, Don did need more than Betty was capable of giving. The last thing he needed was someone who confirmed everything his childhood had taught him-You are not good enough. Of course none of this excuses Don's behavior. He was one lousy husband.
Betty had indicated that she wanted someone who was capable of opening up, not withholding himself from her. But I think that what Betty really wants is a daddy. She is, in a way, the football player with father issues and she projected her own image on to Don.
In the end, neither one could deliver. Can they deliver with someone else? Maybe I'm giving him too much credit, but I think Don is capable of growth and change.
Betty just wants to stay a little girl and has found someone who will take care of her. Is being the daddy to Betty's little girl enough for Henry Francis? Who knows about that guy? He seems a little nuts to me. Why is he talking to his daughter about his feelings for a mother of three who is married to someone else, especially since he holds an important political position? Then he takes Betty to meet her divorce lawyer and flies with her to Reno? Are you kidding me? No one is going to care, or believe for that matter, that they didn't consummate the affair and that the affair didn't break up the marriage. Of course, people could get away with a lot more back then, but it still seems kind of nuts.
One thing seems clear, to me at least, Don and Betty are not getting back together, ever.
My husband (long-since ex) had a family that constantly got into difficulties they needed help getting out of. I helped. And helped. And helped. Then suddenly noticed that my husband wasn’t doing anything. I was doing all the helping. I pointed this out to him and started responding to requests from various family members with “you’ll have to talk to your brother about that.”
Several months later in the midst of a fight about something or other, he said “you think you’re too good for my family.” As I took a deep breath to begin to defend myself I had an inspiration “you’re right,” I said. Wind went right out of his sails and he never said such a thing to me again.
Now, he might well have told cronies in the bar that I had admitted I thought I was too good for his family, but I never had to listen to that sh*t again.
So, as many of us project our own lives onto these characters, I project this onto Betty’s response. His accusation was meant to put her in a one-down position (once again) and she stopped him in his tracks.
It also would not surprise me if this turned out to be a way to write Betty and maybe even the kids out of the series, other than maybe occasional guest shots. They do have a lot of characters besides Don and Betty whose stories need exploring, and although I didn't mind the disproportionate focus on the Drapers for this one season, I would hope we get more of the others next year. MOAR PEGGY PLZ.
I find it veeeerry interesting that Don has not been in contact with Suzanne during all of this. After all, he's free to see her now, isn't he? Or is it no fun without the thrill of sneaking around? I have to wonder how he expected things to go with her; he did seem to be encouraging her to become attached to him, and if that happened, would he have been the one to walk out first?
And I want to know where Sal is. I know he can't be employed full-time by the new agency with Garner the Harasser still lurking about, but I can see Sal making a name for himself as a "hot" freelance commercial director and other clients wanting his services. And this time, Sal won't be in a position of obsequiousness — they'll come to him on his terms. Wouldn't that be sweet!
I'm enjoying all the comments and analysis, and I want to add my own.
Don and Betts are still bound together through their children, and that dynamic is grist for a dozen seasons of Madmen should we be so lucky…
As far as Betts deciding to divorce, I can understand that the discovery of Don's true identity represented so fundamental a betrayal (literally, she didn't know who he was) that their marriage became irreparable. The irony is that Don's accusation that she was a whore belied the fact that he had, in essence, treated her as his whore, his possession, indifferent to her to the point of not divulging who he was. Betts has been incredibly hard to like as a character, but JJ and the writers have made her more and more compelling as a character.
As for Henry, at the end of S3 he's working for a liberal Republican who'll be booed off the stage by his own party in about six or seven months at the Goldwater convention. Will Henry go to work for Teddy K? Or will he be recruited by Tricky Dick Nixon? Who knows with that guy? He may end up a middle-aged political operative with no connections, and then maybe the blinders will fall off Betts' eyes.
My guess is that the show will want to keep him close to NYC so that Don and Betts can continue to torture one another…
@ falafel – I like your analysis of Pete & Peggy as the Bobby & Sally of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (wow, that does not roll off the tongue like Sterling Cooper haha). One thing I found really satisfying about the season finale was that Pete finally got some respect from the one person he's always wanted it from – Don. It reminded me how few Don-Pete scenes we've got this season…if I had been viewer just jumping in this season, there's no way I would have appreciated that scene. It was also fun to see karma (in this case, when Pete warned Don about Duck being president of the new PPL-SC last season) play a role…Pete was loyal to Don and now, Don repays that.
I just want to also say that I personally feel a bit vindicated in having defended Pete all these past weeks
I was just over at the amctv.com talk forum (not as cool as this one of course – in part because they suck at posting comments efficiently, but whatever) and there's a post literally questioning why Ken wasn't asked in addition to Pete or instead of Pete to join SCDP. Sigh. Seems so obvious to me, but I guess people allow their personal dislike of Pete (and like of Ken, in spite of the fact that we know next to nothing about him) to get in the way of rational thinking. Go Don Draper for realizing who was better!
And staying on the Pete wagon – looks like Weiner may have heard our pleas for more Pete/Peggy scenes? Pete and Peggy sharing a desk has the potential for all sorts of drama…I wonder if next season, Pete will come clean to Trudy about the baby? I have a feeling she may not tolerate that infraction…
@# 85 freeperson
That was how I saw it, too. In fact, until I got to BoK it never would have occurred to me that people would take Betty literally. It was the same as her exchange with Sally: "You're mean!" "You betcha!" Who among us has never been in a fight like that? Someone flings accusations at you, and at some point it just becomes ridiculous to say, "No, I'm not! No, it isn't!"
I see the Pete/Peggy baby story as dead as the Draper marriage. Pete is quite successfully married to Trudy now and they have a real partnership. Trudy even seems to be content to be childless, and Pete's never really wanted a child. Whatever feelings he had for Peggy, or she for him, seem to be watered down to a simple compassion for one another. Nothing romantic. The baby has been adopted and, in those days, there was no such thing as open adoption, so unless somehow in about 25 years the kid comes knocking on Peggy's door, it's unlikely to be revisited.
Did anyone else think it was odd when Betty lied to Don initally about Henry Francis? When he asked her who Francis was she said "no one." Could that be some foreshadowing about her relationship with Henry or was she trying to keep the fight from escalating?
Also, I think I asked this on another thread and I'll ask again, does any one have a take on why, in that same scene, Don said that she had "her little white nose" in the air. I'm not sure what to make of that.
Also one other thought that has sort of been bugging me for awhile. People keep saying that Betty could always spill the beans on Don, but I wonder about that. Unless she has grabbed the box she won't have any proof. I know Pete figured out Don wasn't who he said he was by getting a friend with a clearance to dig around, but generally with the military, you are only allowed to access information on a need to know basis (I used to work for the Marines) and who knows what Pete's friend was able to access but unless Henry has similar connections, who can at least have a pretense of need to know access to records like that, how would she back it up. Also, it sounds like such a wild charge "my husband stole another man's identity" especially when she is in the process of divorcing the man. Say she called the cops and I doubt they'd have too much interest in investigating, especially since that isn't in their jurisdiction. As far as the military is concerned Dick Whitman is dead and his body was charred beyond recognixtion unless they fingerprinted him and took dental film when he joined up (no idea if they did that back then) how would they prove it and why would they even think to investigate it in the first place. Even having the two dog tags could be easily explained (Dick Whitman died, I accompanied his body home, his family didn't want the dog tags) the pictures could be burned. So unless Betty wanted to hire a PI to go to both the hometowns of Don and Dick find someone who could positively id either one. Even with that investigation, you wonder if the DoD and whatever branch he belonged to, would want to take that much time and energy to investigate someone who as far as they are concerned, was an officer who served with distinction, and look into the death of someone who died 12-13 years ago, during a war. And since Anna is backing him up and gave him all of Don's paperwork, it seems like it would be tough to 1) get the military to investigate and 2) have sufficient evidence to prove the allegation to in a court martial. Just my 2 cents as someone who has had dealings with the Uniform Code of Military Justice and how the military does things.
Betty did indicate that if Don fought her, she might use what she knew, but that would be like biting off her nose to spite her face. Not only would she subject Don to a court marshall, but possibly a firing squad. This is just not that show and Betty seems ambivalent about Don, not hating on him. Even if he was an ass during their marriage.
It was interesting that she didn't defend Henry to Don. She's not having sex with him, but she didn't tell Don she was in love either. Is he really "no one"? I just don't understand this part of the story.
I don't think the Pete/Peggy baby issue is dead, it's just been deeply repressed. It has the potential to blow up Pete and Trudy's newly forged partnership/marriage and seriously strain the new SCDL band of brothers and sisters.
Apologies if this was already mentioned….
Remember divorcee Helen from season one? How Francine, Betty et al shunned her (and her child) for her status? Her ex seemed to be abusive if I remember correctly. Foreshadowing Betty's new position? Betty is the new Helen/Jane.
So glad Roger and Don are pals again, btw.
#100 I think Henry keeps Betty from being the new Helen. Betty won't have to work and worry about money which was one of the concerns Francine had with Helen's situation.
#90 This whole Betty, Don, and Henry storyline is disappointing. Betty and Don were given an easy out. When Betty found out about the box it seems that as hurt as she was she was not prepared to walk away. Likewise, Don was the most the attentive he's been throughout the series. Then out of the blue, Henry proposes to a married woman with 3 children. Why? Is Betty really that irresistable? SC was full of secretaries, some of whom I'm sure were just as fantastic as Betty, waiting to be swept off their feet. It just doesn't make sense and is too unrealistic. Someone earlier made a reference to Dallas but this storyline is like a retarded soap opera.
More could have been done in a more believable way.
#99 I agree that Pete/Peggy/and baby makes 3 scenario will be reawakened. I'm sure that is why they have focused so much attention on Pete and Trudy's relationship this season. Trudy is the conscientious wife but let's see if she'll be as understanding of her husband's outside escapades especially one that produced a baby and has the other transgressor sit across from him daily.
I'm weighing in thinking Pete/Peggy/baby is tabled for the next season. "It never happened". P&P have both moved on personally and professionally. There is still room for some awkward tension, but I'm not betting on any full-blown revelations.