General Thoughts About The Grown-Ups and The Season Up To Now.
This season has been hard for me to post about. I have several thoughts and impressions, none of which might justify an entry. I think a lot of my time will be spent Betty Boosting.
One of the things I love about Mad Men is that there are few complete villains, and that — at one time or another — I’ve found myself liking every character. This episode, I really loved Pete, and I’ve really loved him with Trudy this season. I won’t deny that he’s done some icky things, but he’s also the guy who gets a lot of things right. I believe he’s a better guy than he should be based on his upbringing. In the Grown-Ups, he was my surrogate. He seemed to say and feel all the things I could imagine myself saying and feeling. I think I would have wanted to block out the world too and cuddle on the couch with a loved one. This is one of the few people who seemed disgusted by Roger in black face, and his reaction to Kennedy’s death — in light of that moment — seemed particularly consistent.
When Matt Weiner conceived of the show, and in the first season, he would have had no reasonable expectation that if he covered the Kennedy assassination that it might have extra significance to a modern day audience, because the current president would be young, handsome, and dynamic, with a lovely wife, and young children — and not just Kennedy endorsed, but pronounced by the patriarch of the family to be the new torch-bearer. I can’t think I was the only one who related to Pete in good part because of that piece of almost serendipity. I say almost, because, we know that by the time this was written they knew all too well the parallel.
At the end of season 2, Pete talks about Trudy not knowing him, but — as much as I bought into it at the time — is quite possibly romantic claptrap. Either he was wrong or whatever happened after Peggy’s reaction brought the Campbells closer together. At first this season, I thought perhaps he was just trying with Trudy, because he had nowhere else to go, but I think there’s real chemistry there. She makes Pete a better man. Who could have seen that coming in the early episodes? I know I had their marriage pegged (is that considered a pun?) a different way.
Then there’s Don. Many of us were really angry at his treatment of Sal, and I’m still angry at him. We all want to think that he has a core decency, no matter what, and his screwing over someone who is talented and loyal really messed with that belief. My heart is breaking for him though. What a horrible moment. More than anything, Don wants to feel loved, good enough, and there’s no worse feeling than being taken by surprise the way he was when Betty told him she didn’t love him. That moment was what he’d spent his life fearing. The writing and Jon Hamm’s performance helps the viewer forget that a lot of the sympathy is based on how good he was for the span of one episode!
I’m not angry at Betty though, and that’s the wonder of this show. I often feel she gets treated unfairly, as if we have to choose sides in the Draper marriage. I’m a proponent of people taking from a show what they need, but it never ceases to amaze me how little sympathy there is for Betty, and how even her kind moments are looked upon with suspicion. One of the comments about this episode is that Don was better without her and that she’s too high maintenance. Season 1 Betty didn’t even have a real voice and didn’t ask too many questions, and, frankly, she’d have to be a whole lot worse to not be worthy of a serial womanizer and a man who lied to her about everything. Whether Don was selling or not, he was possibly right when he said just about a year ago that he’d be alone forever if she left him.
Betty’s not wanting out because of Henry. I don’t buy it. I have no doubt his admiration gives her confidence, but this was a long time coming. Every single tiny earthquake has led her to where she is now, and the ground has been moving under her feet for a long time now. Season 3 didn’t start with a clean slate and all was forgiven. All the hurt was still inside of her and very little, if any, healing had happened. Betty has had a series of major upheavals. A betrayal, a pregnancy, the death of her remaining parent, and more betrayals, led her to a point where she knows she can’t count on Don Draper. Her recently deceased father, in many ways, was right about her husband; he doesn’t have people, but that’s by choice. When she talked about him not understanding money, it was snobby, but it was also straight from her childhood, straight from the prejudices of her parents. She clearly sees herself as an orphan, which is also someone without people, but not by choice. When you’re married to a guy who is never where he’s supposed to be, and who walked away from his family, and another wife, I’m guessing that could keep you up at night.
I have maintained, and I know this is just speculation on my part, that Betty loved Don enough that he could have come clean with her in the beginning and perhaps been okay. At one point, they were both starry-eyed. However, finding out about Dick Whitman after three children, and on top of everything else, is a whole different matter. No matter how pretty a face she put on things for a long time, you give her a little truth serum and she tells you that she never knows where her husband is, and now she can add that she doesn’t know who he is. I’m the first to acknowledge Betty has spent a long time in little girl mode, but she does deserve a feeling of security, and that keeps being taken from her. Love Don or not, he’s a manipulative husband.
I enjoyed Betty telling Sally the fairy tale. I know this was used against her, and I saw comments that if she was a better parent she should have predicted the nightmare, but I thought it was her most loving moment.I will acknowledge she was telling Sally a story that would have enchanted Little Elizabeth instead of one suited to Sally, but the intent was a loving one. Betty doesn’t get to believe in fairy tales, but she wants her daughter’s life to be magical. When she tells Sally about first kisses, she’s talking about herself, but she’s hoping for her daughter too. Betty still gets to dance with someone who looks a whole lot like the handsome prince, but it always feels like it’s just before midnight these days.
It’s a terrible thing to always be waiting for the next disaster, bracing yourself for the next aftershock. Betty would have to be out of her mind to relax or rest easy or trust in a happily ever after.
None of this means she’s without blame, but I think her poor mothering is more her crime than being a bad wife.
Times are definitely a-changing. The show still has all the things we love about it, but the tone has shifted. Anyone watching a scene or two from season 1 and then a sampling from the current season would be able to see that time has passed and relationships have changed. There’s no better proof that the people who say nothing happens are wrong than a comparison of the seasons. Every one of the characters has evolved or devolved while being true to their core qualities. This is another reason why I stand up for Betty — she is the best example of a character who is the same, but different. Too often on shows that run several seasons you go back to the pilot and realize that characters have either stagnated or are unrecognizable other than being played by the same cast. There are moments where you can see slight tweaks in characters, but this are the same folks with a few more years under the belt. Some of them are a little more frayed around the edges, some have went to unforeseen places, but it always makes sense.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I don’t agree with your assessment of Pete here. I know I’m in a minority, but I thought he was more repellent than ever. The baby demanding cocoa in his office, unable to do any work; the even bigger baby who complained that his cocoa wasn’t the right kind; the petulant boob who seethed at his richly deserved demotion; the whiner who sat with Harry; the jerk who lied to his wife about what happened at work (“I was fired”); the ingrate who bore false witness against his cow-orkers, telling Trudy they were happy Kennedy was dead — he was just awful this episode. Nice turtleneck, though.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
We don’t if Pete was lying about his co-workers to Trudy. I could see it as being a truthful statement. I guess we aren’t meant to know. To me, Trudy and Pete’s moment of growing up in the end seemed to have a lot of selfishness in it. They were putting their own needs before the needs of others, and feeling that they were right to do so. Which I think reflects the way society is headed from that point forward.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I also find Pete & Betty sympathetic, and I marvel at how the writers and cast manage to keep the basic character intact despite change. But I do feel a bit manipulated this year, more so than in the past. Suddenly Don is no longer master of his domain, now he’s pretty much castrated in every endeavor – his marriage is truly on the rocks, his affairs are stale, he’s reduced to a contract player at work, his secrets are exposed and his worst fears realized. Frankly, I find it a little much.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Glad to see the Betty Boosting, thanks!
But I can’t get with any Pete love during “The Grownups” — he seemed like the opposite of a grownup during that episode, from the moment we saw him in a fetal position on the sofa.
BTW, when did the guys in the office get nicknamed The Chipmunks? Can’t find much of a backstory on that by googling this site, just 4 or 5 mentions beginning with “Rip the chipmunk!” about Robert Morse’s little ol’ movie.
Is Paul Theodore? Is Harry Simon because he wears glasses? Does that make Pete Alvin?
But I love it.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Yay for Betty-boosting is right – I really don’t get the hatred I see in comments all over the interwebs.
One of the things I loved about season 1 was that I pretty much hated everyone in the office at different times. The individuals were at times so unpleasant, but I still LOVED the show; it was such an engaging mix of sweet and bitter.
I have never liked Pete, not for a minute. For me, the Grown-ups were the ones who suited up and made the best of a bad situation, and the kids were all those who didn’t go to the wedding, or hid out in the kitchen (looking at you, Bert Cooper). Trudie is very loyal to Pete, but that doesn’t make either of them Good.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
(ok, I loved Pete and Trudie’s dance at the garden party. But that’s it!)
November 5th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
I always feel like I’m defending Betty or Pete on this blog. Not because I find either of them especially heroic, but I think they have the harshest critics. I often find myself ‘boosting’ them just to balance discussions. Maybe we aren’t supposed to take sides in the Draper marriage, but to be honest, if you asked me to pick, I’d be on Betty’s side. I’m in a minority but I don’t find Don a very sympathetic character. He is fascinating yes, but most of the time I find Don so stony and defensive that I can barely scratch his surface. I find it alienating. When he broke down and confessed to Betty it was a big relief for Don, but instead of asking Betty if she was okay, he just told her it would be okay. It was too much to ask. Yes, Don’s worse fears came true, but then if you look at the Farrell affair (all the affairs), if you look at Don not telling Betty about his contract, if you look at Don calling Betty’s shrink, etc, Don has been holding too much power and secrecy over Betty for a long long time and thinking he could get away with it. Don can’t blame all his marriage problems on Dick Whitman.
One character you haven’t mentioned here is Roger. Have to say I never loved Roger much before (except for his killer one-liners) but Roger was a trouper at his daughter’s wedding. First time I’ve really felt proud of the man.
I’m also surprised in S3 how Pete/Trudy have gone from being my least favourite couple to my favourite spouses on the show. In S1 they were just two spoiled brats in a dollhouse marriage. In S2 they gained a little pathos with their infertility, but they seemed miserable together. In S3 I’ve been struck by how balanced and in harmony Pete/Trudy are. Their perfect Charleston was a great representation of this unity. These two really listen to each other. When Pete was rude to Hildy, he caught himself and apologised. He was careful not to lose his temper in front of Lane when he got the bad news about the accounts job. Trudy’s “mothering” has done Pete a lot of good. She’s taught him manners like his own parents never did. And at the same time Pete is teaching Trudy to question things and rebel like she has never done before. It feels like Peggy needed to reject Pete before he could fall back in love with Trudy. I’m passionate about both those love stories because Trudy and Peggy are such complete opposites – the rich Prodestant girl & the poor Catholic girl, the selfless devoted wife & the self-driven career woman, Trudy who wants to be a mother but can’t have babies & Peggy who had a baby (Pete’s baby) but didn’t want to be a mother. Even though I’ve bitterly missed Pete/Peggy interactions in S3 I’ve loved the development of the Campbells this year. Especially that last shot of them sitting together on the couch, looking boldly towards the future, trying to see the truth in what’s going on. Pete and Trudy may have begun their marriage as two bratty little rich kids. But they’ve changed, they’ve learned – they’ve grown up.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I know Pete wasn’t being too adult, but I still related to him. Maybe it says something about my tolerance for Betty’s brattiness too. I think there’s something so human about reverting to comfort foods and hiding from the world occasionally, and Pete had more than one reason to withdraw.
Political figures, knee-jerk cynical comments that we all make aside, are people we invest in emotionally. We might call them all corrupt and jerks, but when your guy — or gal — wins, that’s powerful. And, when someone says something negative against that person, it feels personal. Now, imagine that person is murdered. I get wanting to crawl into a cave for a while.
Also, Pete might be a weasel on occasion, but he was from the same basic world as Kennedy. This is a guy he could have gone to school with, they could have discussed sailing together. The first time we met Pete’s parents, there was a lot of talk about the slightly shabby quality of their clothing, and how that was an old money thing — Rose Kennedy had that same frugality. This was possibly the first guy that Pete could invest in emotionally.
@3 — The fall of Don Draper feels pretty right to me. It’s not that I want to see it, but it’s what I’ve been writing about since the beginning — that The Wheel keeps turning, and no one is on top forever. Every generation has to give way to the next one, and that’s been a theme from the beginning. Roger’s war vs. Don’s war. Joan chassis being replaced by sleeker lines… The Beat Goes On and We Didn’t Start The Fire!
November 5th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
To me, the Betty bashing is proof that feminism still has a long way to go. People seem willing to forgive Don anything (well, that is, until he started losing his mojo this season), but Betty is the target of the most hateful vitriol. I just don’t get it. They are both complex, and both mostly negative if you ask me. But I feel for each of them their pain and confusion.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
falafel, great assessment of the Campbell marriage.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
(#3)
I agree that the show could have done much more in showing how Don’s gradual loss of power over at Sterling-Cooper. He hasn’t done all that many pitches this season, which I find disappointing.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Falafel,
I think it’s fine to take sides in the Draper marriage, I just don’t think it’s mandatory. I disagree not so much with people taking sides as I do that this means that the other person then can never be attributed with anything redeeming quality. (I know you aren’t disagreeing here, but this is one of the cases where agreement and elaboration might read as if I’m arguing with you.)
I’m on Betty’s side too, but I hesitate to put it that starkly, because I don’t ever want it to seem like I’m saying she can do no wrong. I’ve written about my objection to the reaction to one scene a lot, because it always epitomized unfair Betty-Bashing.
Roger has his heart attack, and he calls Betty. She’s visiting her father, and is in bed. She gives him sympathy over Roger, but then begins to express bitterness over this new woman in her father’s life. Don ends up screwing Rachel.
For me, this scene is about both partners in a marriage failing to communicate, but also failing to empathize. Don’s friend had a heart attack, but Betty’s mother had recently died — and it was made clear this was a forbidden topic. My heart always broke for Betty over that — that she had no support system, and this was before my own mother died. Now my heart breaks for her all the more when I think about it. Yet, I’ve seen people interpret this scene as Betty is so self-involved and so Don had to go to Rachel for comfort. Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!
I’m with people when they say Betty needs to grow up, but I also understand some of the reasons, societal and personal, why this is a struggle for her. She can’t move on from loss if she can’t grieve, and she babies herself because she isn’t being nurtured by anyone else.
I think we all reacted to Sally losing her grandfather, and there’s no argument that Betty was self-involved, but I don’t understand how she became this utter villain in this storyline when she’d just lost her parent. That she ate the peach was painful to the viewers, because we knew what it meant to Sally, and it was possibly a symbol of Betty’s poor parenting, but it wasn’t a deliberate choice to hurt her daughter. They both at that moment really needed something tangible to connect with a person they loved and who was gone from them.
Roger was a trooper this episode. His discussion with Joan about the assassination was worlds away from his discussion with her about Marilyn Monroe though, wasn’t it? Roger is one of my most enjoyed characters, but that’s because of he gets the best lines rather than actually liking him as a person. He think, even black face aside, that he’s pretty rotten most of the time.
Deborah’s right about your great assessment of the Campbells!
November 5th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
#10, Thanks. I’ve been meaning to write something more detailed about the Campbells marriage. Along with Joan/Gregs story, Sal’s story and Lane’s role it has been one of my favourite S3 subplots.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
People can’t forgive a “bad” mother, but a bad father gets a pass. Seems like most Betty hatred is focused on the way she treats her children. She may not always comfort her children (or Sally, in particular) in the way they need it, but this does not make her a bad mother. I know of older viewers who actually commend Betty for not “coddling” her children. She is a devoted mother, and she decided not to leave Don when she learned she could lose the kids. Don is the one who has actually abandoned the children in the past.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
When I think of Betty, I think of Oprah’s quote about people doing the best they can with what they know, and when they know better, they do better. Betty is doing her best most of the time. And this whole paragraph is like a tongue-twister.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I agree, Betty has had the most evolution. I mean first season Betty wouldn’t even recognize third season Betty. They are like two vastly different people…it’s incredible to even view past episodes to see the change.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I agree with the above posts supporting Betty, and also think many bloggers are too hard on her. When I watch Season 1, she is warm and nurturing to Don, and wants more of him. She never turns him down sexually. She is kinder to her children.
It seems to me there has been a consistent chilling of her character throughout the 3 seasons, as Don’s infidelity and lies have worn her down, esp with the death of her parents, a new baby etc… She can’t nurture if noone is caring for her.
Nevertheless I really want their marriage to heal somehow- but I can’t figure out how. I think he is going to have to lose her to appreciate her.
But one thing really bothers me:
When has Don ever said he loves Betty?
When she confronted him about the affair with Bobbi- she mentioned that he never says he loves her. Since then, I don’t think he has ever said it to her. Does anyone recall him saying he loves her?
November 5th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
he seemed like the opposite of a grownup during that episode, from the moment we saw him in a fetal position on the sofa.
There’s a lot of talk about Pete “growing up”, but I tend to agree that Pete’s maturity is always a matter of two-steps forward and then three steps back. He can mature, but then he can regress again. I think Pete had integrity in this episode if not maturity. If there is anything to admire about Pete it is that he isn’t afraid of being the black sheep.
Personally I can’t complain too much about Pete’s babyish behaviour. Part of me fears a grown up Pete because I find our bratty Pete so entertaining. Give Pete integrity, but keep him as a hissyfitting drama queen, always.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
An interesting commentary on Betty’s mothering skills.
http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/11/03/an-ode-to-mad-mens-maddest-mother/
While I can personally relate to all the characters in even their less than attractive qualities, I especially relate to Betty because I’m married and in the thick of raising two children having scaled back a pretty successful career to be home with them as much as possible. I’m fortunate to have created a job that has flexible hours, but it’s the easy part of my day. I know what a thankless grind it can be often laugh at the thought of what a hidden microphone might pick up in our daily family interactions. Especially when I’m breaking up the 15th argument of the day between my ornery son and his very sensitive older sister who takes umbrage at almost everything he does in a day. And I’ve long used the phrase “only boring people are bored” to my son when he starts complaining about being “bored” despite a neighborhood full of friends, books, movies, toys, skateboards, ramps, bikes, video games, etc…
I worry about what I’ve missed professionally and whether I’ll ever regain lost ground when I return full time to the workforce. I’m not immune from feeling resentful of having to always be the one to make the time sacrifice to accommodate family scheduling, primarily because I’m not the primary bread winner and have taken on the role of primary caregiver by choice. It’s especially acute as I send my husband off to some exotic, warm, locale for a business convention in February as I’m stuck at home in the cold because there’s no one to stay with the kids for a week.
Ironically, I hear similar fears and dissatisfaction from my friends who remained working Moms. The stay at home vs. working woman dilemma is still very much at the forefront of our lives.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
At the start of season 1, I never would have expected Pete and Truddy’s marriage to be what it is at this point. It has its flaws, its far from perfect, but compared to some of the marriages on the show, Pete and Trudy are doing just fine.
I always find it so strange to hear Ted Kennedy referred to as patriarch of the Kennedy family. I know he had been for quite a few decades, but I always tend to see him as the chubby little kid on his father’s lap, or as a young senator in 1962 standing next to Jack and Bobby.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
@16 — I think few people watching season 1 could have predicted her in the exact place we see now, but the writers have left a great trail of bread crumbs where you can see it all in hindsight.
@17 — Interesting. I think he has? Maybe? What I found very interesting when listening to season 1 commentaries is that the topic came up a few times. January Jones was doing a commentary with another woman — maybe Elisabeth Moss? — and the other person said as a given that Don loved Betty. January Jones said words to the effect of, “Do you think so?” At the time, I think I judged her a little harshly for having not given this thought, but I really take that back — she was channeling Betty’s understandable insecurity, and it was probably the right choice for her not to know the answer. I’m thinking that on the commentary for Shoot, MW did say flat out that Don loves Betty.
I think that there is plenty of evidence that he does love her, but she’s not been enough for him — and that’s more about who he is than who she is. He’s searching for a missing piece of himself, and missed the memo about starting the search in your own backyard. Betty, until two episodes ago, wasn’t given the opportunity to really know him.
I wonder if this will validate for him that he’s “garbage” or if he understands that he might have gotten a different reaction had be told her early on.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Also, I think MW/ the writers have drawn Betty (and JJ has played her) relentlessly as a character that the viewer can only sympathize with when they put themselves squarely in her shoes. I think this makes it easier for viewers to examine the unfair inconsistencies they may have in their thinking.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
I’d just like to throw in here with the praise of falafel. Your posts always resonate with me, and I agree about your assessment of the Campbells.
Since we are dealing with a soap opera (see that other thread), do you think Trudy’s dedication to Pete would stand up if she knew about Peggy & Pete’s baby? She seems to have put aside the baby issue for now, but it could still be in there festering. They have that storyline in reserve to bring back later, especially when it’s Pete’s turn to have every single thing in his life go horribly wrong.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
@21
I remember that commentary, it was with Rosemarie DeWitt, it was actually one of the better pairings. I think in season 1, in particular, Don loved Betty like a child. He didn’t love her as a woman, as with Rachel; he didn’t view Betty as an equal. I mean the way he bullied Betty after Roger hit on her was one of his lowest moments. Part of that was her own fault for stifling her own intelligence for Don’s sake…when she threw stuff in his face about money during that confrontation, I thought it was well-deserved.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
In terms of whether Don has ever said he loved Betty,#21, I think that it is deliberate that those words haven’t left his lips- B/c
? he doesn’t love her, and they were a mismatch from the beginning
? He does love her but is so full of self hatred he can’t express it
?He loves her but thinks it is a “given” that she would understand that
? she isn’t a “real” person to him- she is an object, an endorsement of his success
And in terms of Henry asking her to marry him, and she saying ‘I don’t know what to say”, do you think she was thinking- “Oh no- another man who wants me because of my looks, because he can’t possibly know me.”
November 5th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
@19 — I think anyone of a certain age has either said, heard, or both said and heard, *only boring people are bored.”
November 5th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Don told Betty he loved her in the scene where she confronted him on the sofa and asked him if he hated her.
He also told her he loved her in the letter he wrote her in Meditations.
Unfortunately in the English language we have only one all encompassing word for “love”, so what form it takes is anyone’s guess.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
#27- I agree that he did say he loved her- but it was after she complained that he never said it .. He was also lying through his teeth about the Bobbi affair at that time, so I wasn’t sure if he was sincere at all, in that scene on the couch.
In terms of the letter he wrote in Meditations- I was always troubled by his apology, in that he looked like he was writing an advertising pitch on the same stationary he did his work on. I like to think it was all sincere too- but I’ve always wondered…
I think I have come to the conclusion that he doesn’t know he loves her, because he doesn’t how to love, and consistently suppresses any deep feelings, (as seen in this weeks episode- with taking the pills…), and substitutes sexual gratification when he needs affirmation or support.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Donny Brook, I don’t think peoples’ dislike of Betty has anything to do with feminism. Even back in the 60s, there were women — housewives, even — who made significant contributions with their lives. They were active in numerous volunteer organizations, in schools, in politics, etc. They were pre-feminists who were then able to benefit once social attitudes changed in the 70s and 80s.
I see Betty as lethargic, spoiled and lacking in direction, and I don’t give Don a pass, either. Every time he cheats on Betty, he cheats on his family, too, and as others have said, he’s planting seeds in Sally, at least, that are going to cause her emotional problems later on.
November 5th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Don’s always been conflicted about Betty, I think. I believe he loves her, but she’s also the person that *Don Draper* should be with, and the type of woman he never believed *Dick Whitman* deserved. Not to mention that he has the whole madonna-whore thing real bad!
This conflict has never allowed honesty. It’s never allowed him to roll around in the grass with her, and it’s never allowed her to behave like the earthy kind of woman he chases with such zeal. Betty has rarely been able to have her bra strap slip off her shoulder — ha, it wouldn’t dare! However, Betty has a bad girl inside her that really wants to bust out.
November 5th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Unfortunately only the washing machine and Captain Awesome know that, Mrs D!
November 5th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
I’m the first to acknowledge Betty has spent a long time in little girl mode, but she does deserve a feeling of security, and that keeps being taken from her.
Betty spends a long time in little girl mode precisely because she lacks a sense of security. Her parents didn’t instill her with much self esteem beyond her looks, and Don’s affairs and betrayals constantly put her in a position of insecurity.
And whether she’s conscious of it or not (and I actually believe she’s very conscious of it), she’s learned that acting like a child is a powerful way to get what she wants in a world where she doesn’t have the self-sufficiency to get it herself. It works on the men closest to her. It worked on that mechanic in Season 2.
Also, I admire Pete and Trudy for how their marriage has grown. But I really have to wonder how permanent these changes are considering his despicable behavior with the neighbor’s au pair.
November 5th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
brenda: Maybe the problem is that Betty doesn’t want to be a housewife. There’s nothing wrong with housewives. God knows, I’D never want to be one but then I wouldn’t want to be a surgeon or a teacher either. There are just some jobs we are not suited for. Betty was raised to think that that’s what one did: be a housewife. Should we criticize her for being lousy at a job she doesn’t really enjoy? I don’t understand this propensity to diss her because she isn’t a happy homemaker. As Henry said, there are other ways to live. She could get a job. She could become a political fundraiser. She could get out and explore the world. All she needs is an income. She might actually be a better parent if she were happier.
There’s nothing special about being a housewife. It’s just like any other job. No need to make it better than it is. It just is one of our many employment opportunities. And she HATES it.
November 5th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
My main problem with the season so far is the emphasis on Don/Betty/Henry/Suzanne. I very much miss all the other characters.
Yes, Betty is pathetic. I pity her hugely. Her awful, dreadful parents apparently crippled her so much that she wasted an excellent education, married a man unworthy of her & bore children she didn’t want. And she is dull, dull, dull; occasionally she can express herself in words of one syllable. But the camera loves her! She brings out the worst in Don–who is hardly innocent. Suzanne is a dingbat & Henry is a creep.
Watching Pete & Trudy is interesting, even though his treatment of the au pair was dreadful & may yet come back to haunt him.
Which leaves about a dozen characters who have been woefully neglected this season. Enough with Rancho Depresso!
November 5th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Brenda, feminism isn’t just about women getting jobs, or worse, working women vs housewives. It’s about how women are perceived by all of us. It’s about seeing women as people and expecting the same level of maturity from them, and giving them the same slack, as we do men.
November 5th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
My main problem with the season so far is the emphasis on Don/Betty/Henry/Suzanne. I very much miss all the other characters.
That has been my biggest disappointment too, especially since Henry and Suzanne do nothing for me as characters. Former fans of Battlestar Galactica and Lost know that Quadrangles are a pain in the ass, right?
I admire Pete and Trudy for how their marriage has grown. But I really have to wonder how permanent these changes are considering his despicable behavior with the neighbor’s au pair.
I think you are reading the story backwards. Pete’s despicable actions were a story device to bring Pete and Trudy closer together. Firstly to give Pete a moment of shame and confession, then for Pete to ask Trudy to be closer to him, to be his moral compass. Pete’s bad behaviour resulted in Pete wanting Trudy to make him good.
do you think Trudy’s dedication to Pete would stand up if she knew about Peggy & Pete’s baby?
Thanks for your kind words! I don’t think Pete/Peggys baby will come into play again for a long time. There is no reason for Trudy to know. That baby is gone with the wind and it would only hurt her. But then Peggy needed to confess to Pete so maybe at some point Pete will feel the need to confess too.
November 5th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
#33 Riverdaughter, I don’t think Betty wants to be a housewife, either, but she doesn’t have enough direction to figure what she wants beyond a husband and children. We get little flashes of her potential — the reservoir, the time she got to model, her ability to rise to the occasion when Don needed her to be charming with Jimmy Barrett. If she had the right person to take her in hand, she might be able to use that potential in some way.
Even Jackie Kennedy had a mentor in Jayne Wrightsman, who helped her make the decisions that led to the renovation of the White House. But Betty also has to have some drive of her own.
November 5th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I think that Betty is a better parent than Don. There, I said. However, she is not a great mother. Like many parents, she has this superficial need for her children to project an image of perfection. And she is not exactly what I would call the “cuddly” type. In other words, she’s a bit on the cool side (actually, so am I).
Now Don is a warmer parent. He really knows how to be friends with his kids. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know how to be a parent capable of isciplining them when they need it. He will either leave the discipline to Betty or try to shield them from it. There was one moment, this past season when he called himself demanding that they change the baby’s name because Sally viewed her youngest brother as some spirit of Gene Hofstadt’s past. Don eventually showed his true colors when he admitted that he didn’t like a son of his being named after a man who had disliked him. In the end, it was all about Don. And he is hardly there for his kids or Betty. He tries . . . sometimes. But he doesn’t know how to stick to that particular agenda.
I was very surprised at how close the Campbells had become. Then again, I should not have been surprised. I have noticed something about Pete and Trudy in S2. Despite their personal flaws and his feelings for Peggy, they knew how to communicate with each other. I found myself wondering if this would enable them to build a stronger marriage or if it would fall apart, despite their communication. I think the verdict is still out on that one.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Wonderful, Ms. D. Brava!
I understand how difficult it has been for you to post about this season … and I commend you for keeping a closer eye on the ball than I have. I had forgotten about some of the research our show-runner had one of the lead characters do, in preparation for the show last season.
To be honest, I have been moving episode by episode, reacting to the obvious signs of stress in the Draper lives: Sally Draper’s crying face, her outburst after Gene died, Don’s tears last week.
But the old line is true: “Ain’t mama happy, ain’t nobody happy.” There is a shadow over that home. And for the first time in weeks, I am afraid.
Betty doesn’t get to believe in fairy tales, but she wants her daughter’s life to be magical.
In one of her last poems, simply titled “Child”, Sylvia Plath described herself from her baby son’s perspective: as a “troublous /Wringing of hands, this dark /Ceiling without a star.” She expressed a similar wish to Betty’s in that poem, you know: to fill her child’s eyes “with color and ducks, /The zoo of the new.”
The problem for Plath was that she did not see herself in that zoo. Let’s hope that Betty still does.
November 5th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
#36 Ugh, the Quadrangle of Doom! The only good part was all the sweaty biceps.
I’m with you, I hope they don’t bring Pete & Peggy’s baby back, I was just wondering about Trudy’s state of mind. Would she be as accepting of her babyless status if she knew there was a Pete, Jr?
November 5th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
about Don…you can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
I thought ‘The Grownups’ was an excellent episode, and I highly commend MW and company for portraying the JFK assassination in a unique way. I was as much impressed by what MW didn’t use for footage of those 4 days as what they did. I’m sure it would have been very easy to use the famous footage of Walter Cronkite straight off the bat, but instead they eased it in with the lesser seen footage from the other networks, making it all the more profound and real. Also, I had never seen the eyewitness reports before (the sad man, and the two women who had taken a picture). Weiner could have also very easily used the clichéd, well-trod footage of John-John saluting the flag to represent the orphaning of the nation, but avoided it, concentrating instead of Sally and Bobby becoming ‘orphaned’ by their awareness of their parents pushing away from each other.
I was 2 1/2 when JFK was assassinated, and have no memory of it, yet vividly I remember The Beatles on Ed Sullivan! Maybe it is because the latter was a happy event that everyone was excited about. I think my Mom and Dad thought like Don; that I was too young to understand the JFK tragedy, and happily oblivious, so why let me know?
I also commend MW and the writers for making the characters multidimensional in such a way that you can hate them one week and love them another. I really hated Don several times this year (for pursuing Suzanne, firing Sal, and treating Peggy like crap), but I loved him for his sexy flirting with Betty in Rome, his attempt to make things right with Betty, his great love of baby Gene, Sally, and Bobby , and especially his soul-baring confession of who he really is to Betty. I actually had a glimmer of hope for them in the little scene this week where Betty found him rocking little Gene this week, because that scene was so real to me—perhaps because it is more common in our times. Alas. I don’t always love Betty, but it’s a mark of a good actor to make you not like them. I was really sad when Betty told Don she didn’t love him, but I understand. All the characters who thought that they were ‘grown up’ are now really ‘growing up’ in this new world, and will continue to evolve for better or worse. I have seen flaws in all the characters since this show began, and that’s what keeps me coming back (and yeah, the great clothes too!). I really care about all of the characters (okay, maybe Henry not too much), so much so that I’d hate to see any of them perish! This show has just spoiled me for other television, I’ll never watch any new drama the same again (seems like so much else is just crap!) I want to see Joan and Sal come back, and how the junior employees of SC evolve in this new world. And I know that MW won’t be in a rush to turn them all into hippies; Matt knows that Sinatra was just as big on the top 40 charts in 1969 as Hendrix was.
I love this show, can’t believe there’s only one episode left this year! It will be a long hiatus. I hope that Matt and Co. will continue to keep it real, and that when Beatlemania comes that they can use actual footage and music of The Beatles and not be trapped by copyright. (The way the series “American Dreams” was several years’ back, which really spoiled its illusion) Ladies, could you ask Matt if he has rights to Beatle material? Hope so!
All I can say is, Thank You Matt Weiner and Company for giving us another stunning year, I await the season finale with baited breath, and next summer can’t come fast enough!
November 5th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
It seems like there are only Betty-supportive posts here, if you want to know how this site comes off. Were is all the unfairness? Is there a more important Mad Men blog than this that I’m not aware of? I’m not anti-Betty myself, but I certainly see her as nearly an equal problem to Don in the marriage. As you say, why must we choose sides? This is (or was) a marriage, not a war. And yet you choose to play up those who treat her unfairly. So what? And who is doing this? And what makes their reaction to her unfair in the first place?
November 5th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
@ 35 Donny Brook-Best definition of feminism that I’ve ever read.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:14 am
#43 Mike,
I can see how it would look that way to you. But please know that this view is not unanimous:
http://www.lippsisters.com/2009/10/14/being-bobby-draper/
Personally, I observe that the colder Betty seems to get, the more my fellow Basketcases move to defend her. I want to understand this; I try to understand it, which is why I went back and found the Plath bit, above.
I often find Betty less sympathetic than her husband. I am sure that this goes back to my own childhood, and the relationship I had (and have) with both parents.
But it’s also just the way the characters are presented to us. Don cries when he is broken down, as a man, over personal loss: of his brother and himself. Betty cries over something on TV. When you are putting together a TV show, those are narrative choices. Each of them means something.
(BTW: I wonder why the writers depicted Betty as having cried after Gene’s death, but not still crying. Why? Why on earth would they show us Don crying, and not Bets?)
November 6th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Mike,
This thread has a lot of Betty support, yes, but the comments are often filled with a lot of hatred. I can only tell you that is my perception, and something that has worn my down — what seems like an imbalance.
I’m not calling for universal adoration of a character at all. I think people take from shows, from art, what they need. However, as someone interested in the character, it’s occasionally made blogging here difficult.
I can say that — and, again, viewers have a right to personalize the experience — it seems to me that she is played and written as a very complex character, and so it stymies me when I see a very simple interpretation that she is bad, selfish, bad, and possibly was on the grassy knoll — at least we can safely say the last one isn’t the case. I think that, like most characters on the show, she’s not pure villain or pure heroine.
This might be my destiny — when I watched daytime soaps I always rooted for the misunderstood girl.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:38 am
http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/why_does_betty_draper_have_to_make_wingnuts_feel_guilty/
November 6th, 2009 at 12:56 am
Great find!
November 6th, 2009 at 1:55 am
Weird as it sounds, I am SO grateful to Mad Men for portraying Betty and Don as lousy parents. This show, and the movie Revolutionary Road, are perhaps the best artistic caveats against compulsory parenthood in recent memory. Those of us who are too young to have an understanding of what life was like before the availability and acceptance of contraception and, yes, legalized abortion are well served by the reminder. On that note, it’s interesting that with all of Don’s profligate philandering, there hasn’t been a pregnancy scare or abortion storyline involving one of his paramours.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:46 am
What I find fashinating about Mad Men is that there is no one who are just black or white. Honestly, they feel more like people I know then other characters in other show.
Sure, Betty isnt a doting mother from the soda-commersial in season 1, but who is? Who doesn´t get annoyed of their kids once in a while. I don´t think she is worse then any of the mothers I know, who can get a fit and scream at their kids in the mall. It´s about being human.
And pete have been my favorite since the start. If he grows up completely I will find it less intruiging to watch him. Sure, he is bad, but that doesn´t mean he is not capable to feel. Or be good also. Why wouldn´t he be able to feel something about Kennedy being shot?
And even if being passed over for Ken Kosgrove mattered more and that made him pass the wedding, I think, Good for him.
Who would go with their back straight and think only flowery thoughts about people that treated you that way? Even if Ken deserved it more.
Really. I would have whined too.
I love these characters and honestly, it is because they are NOT walking cakes of moral and ethic. They act like people act. And for me that feels real.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:16 am
Gosh, Aran, thanks for the link that proves I must be a wingnut because Betty bores me sick. Yes, she’s a victim of the patriarchy. (A word which she encountered in those anthropology classes she forgot in her rush to sit in the ‘burbs & fret about “does he love me?” & “do I love him?”)
But what about the other women on the show who’ve faced worse situations than she but continue to struggle? They aren’t upper class enough to matter? I’d like to see more about Joan’s life & Peggy’s; heck, I’d like to see how Anita came to her current equilibrium. A bit more about Carla would help. And what about Sal? Women weren’t the only ones with problems back then.
–Raised a Democrat in Texas by a widowed mother & grandmother. Who didn’t excel in warm fuzziness–but didn’t treat me & my sibs as dreadful burdens. And who managed to build lives for themselves without the problems of rich parents & Bryn Mawr educations.
Maybe they can give Betty some dialog with words longer than one syllable. “I have thoughts.” Yeah, right.
November 6th, 2009 at 8:17 am
whoa its early and I just read this whole thread – so many thoughts and feelings. I like what #49 says – the interesting thing about these characters is that they are like real people – we cannot fit them into nice little compartments. They are not “boring” because we can’t figure them out – we don’t know what they are going to do – that is good writing, acting and suspense.
I have learned so much about myself from this site – kudos to all of you who share and to Ms Darkley for this particular thread.
Carry on chaps. Good show.
November 6th, 2009 at 8:53 am
I’m in the process of re-watching the first season, and I am really struck by how much of my reaction to Betty is fueled by how she has evolved — or devolved, I guess — since the show began. I forgot how much she seemed to try in the beginning to be part of Don’s life, and how much he shut her out and shut her down, and how her interaction with her kids has deteriorated. She was never the warm earth mother type. but she wasn’t nearly as cold and distant with everyone as she is now.
I’m glad I’m re-watching because it’s giving me a clearer, and fairer I hope, read on what’s going on with her. My sympathy level shot up a lot. It’s so easy to react to her based on whatever we’ve seen most recently form her, and forget all the shit in her marriage that lead up to it.
On that note, I sure hope that whole point of this show isn’t to show the complete despair of some people’s lives. If that’s all there is to it, I don’t know how much I can watch.
Do you think we will be left with ANY sense of hope and optimism in the season finale?
On another note, a random prediction for next week: There will be a flashback to Dick’s youth involving a death which will explain why he has such an aversion to children going to funerals and graveyards. Just a WAG on my part, and I’m not even sure why I think it might happen.
November 6th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Don has a heart attack!!
November 6th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Another prediction: If we’re keeping with the “whole world is falling apart” theme for the season, Connie will pull the Hilton account, leaving Don with total rejection both professionally and emotionally. There’s a happy thought for a Friday, eh?
November 6th, 2009 at 9:42 am
@51 — I’m pretty sure Peggy and Joan matter to a lot of folks, myself included.
All the characters struggle, and deal with their struggles in ways unique to who they are. If Peggy or Joan had Betty’s exact situation, they wouldn’t be Peggy or Joan. Worse situations? Well, that’s all sorts of relative.
People like Joan and Peggy, because they’re feisty in ways modern people can understand easily. The only time people have on any large level been confused by Joan was her marrying the guy who raped her — that doesn’t gel with what people in the aughts think a woman should do — but people are more dismayed than angry at her. However, both women are in bad relationships, and have opted to be in those relationships. They both have reasons for their choices.
Is physical abuse worse than emotional abuse? I’m not sure how to weigh that.
I’m pretty sure there aren’t too many viewers giving Betty a pass for being of a more prosperous upbringing or in a wealthier class — if anything it makes people less tolerant, even though it can be argued that she’s until recently been more “stuck” than the other women.
November 6th, 2009 at 9:44 am
I worry about Sal. I want to know Sal is okay. I have to think we’ll find out something next week, right? Something…good?!?!
November 6th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I love this Season so far overall – very complex and multi-dimensional in many aspects – as has been described here and in other post topics. MAD MEN may well be deservedly heading for a “three-fer” at the EMMY’s next year – amazing.
My only significant problem with this Season through EP 12 is the dropping of Salvatore Romano/Bryan Batt.
ALL great TV series are great for many reasons – not the least of which is a strong supporting series-regular cast. MAD MEN is uniquely blessed in this regard. Removing the Salvatore character, and its interesting, moving, and relevant contributions to this particular drama is beyond my ability to comprehend. And not utilizing the tremendous artisitic and performing talents of Bryan Batt, multiplies the mystery of the Producers dropping him even further.
I know this is what they “get paid the big bucks for” – but as a devoted fan of this wonderful show, I am very concerned about this decision…
November 6th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Peter G: I’m hoping they will find a way to bring Sal back. They need an art director. (“They” being SC. Or what SC becomes. Or an agency yet to be named.)
But we need to see more of Sal (& Kitty).
November 6th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
“People like Joan and Peggy, because they’re feisty in ways modern people can understand easily. The only time people have on any large level been confused by Joan was her marrying the guy who raped her — that doesn’t gel with what people in the aughts think a woman should do — but people are more dismayed than angry at her. However, both women are in bad relationships, and have opted to be in those relationships. They both have reasons for their choices. “
I understand why Joan had married Greg. I just don’t agree with why she had done it. As for Peggy, what bad relationship is she in? There was her affair with Pete in S1, but other than that . . .
November 6th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I was willing early on to give Betty something of a pass as a mother because of the times, and the fact that many women were in her position: trained for nothing in particular beyond being a wife and mother, looking good, being the corporate spouse, maintaining order at home. Okay, I get that. And her emotional (Nordic) background didn’t help, that she was groomed, so to speak, to be a housecat and admired and taken care of.
But – she lost me way back (season 1 maybe or early season 2) when she complains to Don that she’s outnumbered by her kids – and they had only two then. How in the world does a grown woman feel outnumbered by two kids? And she has help in the ever-present Carla? By Betty’s age my mother had 5 going on 9 kids, worked part-time outside the home, and had no housekeeper/cleaner/helper of any sort. If my mother felt “outnumbered” we sure never knew it, though she surely must have been. Had Betty been faced with fixing breakfast lunch and dinner for eleven people day in and day out (not to mention laundry) I might have some sympathy.
She has no drive, shows no initiative, has no clue about what she does want, just that she hates her (newly redecorated) home, neighbors, life. That’s okay when you’re 20 like Jane but in your 30s? Other than the rare Francine visit we haven’t seen her interacting with neighbors, volunteering for anything before this season, taking the kids to the movies for fun etc. Her whole life seems like one big chore.
Now my dad was almost as busy as Don and worked many nights, so much so his colleagues at one point called him Captain Midnight. He was a police officer; my mother never knew when he left for work if she’d ever see him again. She hated when the phone rang after 10 at night because it was never good news. Years after he had to, he’d still leave at 4 a.m. for a drug bust. But, like Sally and Bobby we knew dad provided well, and he cared. He didn’t play catch much with my brothers but because they were so rare the time he spent with us was wonderful – rides into the country, fireworks on July 4th, trips to the state fair (where he worked on his “vacation” to earn extra money for school clothes.)
As awful as Don’s childhood was and given the demands of his work, he does try with the kids, especially for the times. We have to remember we’re looking back in time through our own individual lenses – and that this IS fiction.
Now to worry about that finale…
November 6th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
But – she lost me way back (season 1 maybe or early season 2) when she complains to Don that she’s outnumbered by her kids – and they had only two then. How in the world does a grown woman feel outnumbered by two kids? And she has help in the ever-present Carla?
I’m not a mother, but speaking as a person who has done her share of babysitting, I can see where Betty is coming from. Children do . . . at least to me . . . make one feel outnumbered. Perhaps that is why I have never bothered to have kids. I found it interesting that Jon Hamm, who used to be a teacher of some kind, has made it clear in recent years that he doesn’t want any kids. Maybe he had felt outnumbered during those years as a teacher.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
The two latest episodes made me smile.
Roger the Mensch, King of Sardonia, inspires a haiku.
Smooth lyin’ scion
Roger tries the sole? yet still
Love lasts. Mona knows.
November 6th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
2>1
November 6th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
After reading #61-Floretta- thought I’d chime in.
I gave up my career as a doctor and now have 8 kids, and my husband works long hours outside of the house- and I LOVE Betty. I can totally relate to her being upset with Don in the episode you mentioned. I think she wanted a partner, some connectedness. She’s so lonely and raising any number of kids (even 1!) tries the soul. She wanted affirmation that what she thought was a problem in their son- lying- was noticed and thought to be important by Don. She flipped out because his ignoring of Bobby’s lying fit the larger pattern of his not treating her like an equal partner.
Betty hits a nerve in me A LOT I think because of the vulnerability women feel when they give up their careers and hitch their wagons to their husbands’. I picked my husband well and am valued and appreciated, and still every pregnancy brings about a feeling of complete vulnerability.
I love how Mad Men portrays the plight of women so achingly real through the female leads- and I think these issues will never go away- no matter what generation faces them. I actually read Betty’s book- The Group- about the Vassar class of ‘33- and the same issues were there as well.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
#63 LOM, you never cease to make me laugh. outloud. BTW, I think you meant “soul,” didn’t you? However, Roger has spent a lot of sole leather over the years in his quest to die in the arms of a 20 year old, so maybe that spelling fits, too.
It’s interesting, given how this was supposed to be a post about “The Grownups” in particular and Season 3 in general, that all roads seem to keep leading to Don and Betty, especially Betty. Obviously, the disintegration of their marriage was the overarching theme of this season, possibly to the detriment of many other loose ends. In the past three years, I’ve learned I just have to trust MW, even if at times he’s master of the red herring or otherwise seems to meander, when I want to see more and different. I admire how willing he is to pace things out at a rate that often seems hellaciously slow–as it seems he especially did this season–but I also love it, too. Nobody else on tv seems willing to devote the amount of time to fully devloping character or plot the way Matt does. In real life, things take their time to unfold and develop–they don’t happen whiz-bang and get neatly tied up in a bow in 30 minutes. And in real life, people usually end up taking 3 steps back for every two steps forward; as Paul Simon said in “The Boxer,” “after changes we are more or less the same.” The older I get, the more truth I see in that and to me, Matt’s genius is that he imitates the pace and feel of “real life” as closely as it’s possible to in the space of 50 minutes.
That said, Season 3 more than Season 2 or especially Season 1, really demanded more of my patience and trust in where MM is going. Perhaps it was the newness of it, but I felt that each episode in Season 1 was like a complete little feature movie in and of itself. Each episode that followed was more icing on the cake, but if I had only to see one or two episodes, they could have just stood on their own. Season 2 definitely showed, subtly but surely how things were changing. Many of those episodes could stand on their own, too, but by the time “Meditations in An Emergency” aired, I could see how it was a logical progession in the whole arc of that year, and how “For Those Who Think Young” had laid the foundation.
Season 3 is continuing that trend. This in no way to denigrate the individual quality of each episode, but now each one seems less of a complete stand-alone than part of the whole. Perhaps that’s inevitable now that the series is in its third year, perhaps not. But my impression this year more than the other two was that Matt really, really had specific themes on tap for 1963 (which essentially boil down to “the end of the world”) and that the pathway to portraying that was largely through Don and Betty. That was a big risk to take because it put so many characters and stories on the periphery and at times came very close to veering on soap opera.
By now we have much more information about everybody, and there really and truly has been change from 1960 to 1963. A lot of it. And from my past experience of the last two years, I know the season finale is going to be a terrific summation that will have been worthy of my hanging in there and will also start to lay the groundwork for Season 4. Now that he knows for sure that he’s got another Season (and probably another after that) I’m confident Matt is going to give us at least a clue about what will be ahead next year and let more characters strut the stage in Season 4.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I don’t know if the theme of this season was so much “the end of the world,” SFCaramia. I would describe it more as a transformative earthquake – the characters survive the series, but the landscape has completely changed.
I think most of the posts on this are about Don and Betty because they have been such a focus of the season, and I am fine with that. I think back in the discussions about S1 I “outed” myself as a huge Betty fan – and even more a fan of January Jones’ portrayal. I said then that MM was amazing because they had taken the most thankless character stereotype – the bored 50s housewife – and had created a complete, compelling and wholely understandable human being. From the moment she picked up the BB gun in Shoot I knew there was a depth to Betty that we have yet to see.
@ 47 – Aran, thanks for that link – I agree with the writer whole-heartedly. Betty proves that many women were completely and utterly lost even while they were living the alleged American Dream (at least for them). As for Betty being “outnumbered,” I remember my own mother talking about her brief stint at home taking care of us (about 3 years in duration before she went back to full-time teaching). She memorably told the story of pulling out the vacuum cleaner one day and literally falling apart crying over the damn machine. She simply could not work up the energy to clean the floors again. She felt entirely unfulfilled as a full-time housewife, but could not understand why (this was right about 1965). Her mother thought the best thing that ever happened to her was when my grandfather got a job during the Depression and she could finally quit her job as a seamstress at a silk mill. Like Betty, my mother simply was not wired to like that kind of life.
Thinking about the season as a whole, though, we have seen how so many characters will never be what they were in S1 – Peggy will never live at home in Brooklyn again; Roger knows now that marrying the hot young thing was a huge mistake; Pete and Trudy are firmly set on their lives together; Joan isn’t getting the brass ring she thought she would, but will make whatever mess Greg creates work for her; Sal recognizes the lie of his life, even if he can’t make a total break with Kitty; and of course Don and Betty have come to a huge crossroads after the revelation of his lie. Even the Brits are affected – I really wonder if Layne will return to England, and of course there’s at least one Brit dealing with a life-changing event (oddly Lois is still the same).
The boys – Ken, Paul and Harry – don’t seem to be evolving much, but perhaps they are part of the generation who are about to get very lost.
I am so excited about the finale, even if it means no MM for months.
November 6th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
@60 — Peggy got lumped in, because she was mentioned in post I was addressing. The question was: ** But what about the other women on the show who’ve faced worse situations than she but continue to struggle? They aren’t upper class enough to matter? ’d like to see more about Joan’s life & Peggy’s; heck, I’d like to see how Anita came to her current equilibrium. A bit more about Carla would help. And what about Sal? Women weren’t the only ones with problems back then.**
My point was that both are popular characters and that no one is saying they don’t matter. They aren’t supposed to all act the same, and all the characters seem to go through a lot of — stuff. Then, I talked specifically about Joan.
A criticism MM gets is that not every character or storyline gets screen time every week — but this is a large cast. People are always going to want their favorites, but it can’t be done. Daytime TV does it all the time — takes a day off from even their hottest couple. Anyhow, I get being annoyed when you want Sal and get Sally. (Who hasn’t lost a grandfather? Suck it up, princess.
)
November 6th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
CPT_D — Harry is ‘evolving’ into a Goldwater Republican. I’ve met those kind of men later in life, and always kind of wondered what they were like when they were young, or even IF they were ever young. Now I know. Sad to say, I started out liking Harry and Jennifer in a “who wouldn’t love these two dorks” kind of way, but I’m liking them less every time I see them now.
November 6th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Can I also suggest that Betty is suffering from a form of depression? I think her lack of involvement with her children, her complete dissatisfaction with her life, her running to other men at times of crisis, all could be the signs of someone who has a low-level depression (sometimes referred to as dysthymia).
November 6th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I’m coming late to this thread, but want to second everything Ms. Darkly says in #12. My mother (who died in 2003) was Betty in 1963. I was Sally. The show is true to the times (generally) of who women were then (and Betty is Betty, was spoiled and is spoiled, but is growing up along with her children and the sixties).
I rebelled like crazy in the late sixties/early seventies, but I also loved my mother, who actually did change with the times, who grew, as did I, and we came to an accommodation with one another as time went on. We couldn’t have been more different, but we were good for one another as well.
In my youth, I blamed my mother for so much that wasn’t her “fault.” My dad was responsible for plenty that I didn’t realize as a kid or young adult. Once, my mother said to me, “You are always seeking your father’s approval, never mine…” and she was right. I was mostly angry with my mother.
It reminds me of Sally with Don. Sally sees a side of Don that others don’t. She doesn’t see the real Don. It will take her growing up to see Don for who he is, to put her parents in context, and to see how her father’s behaviors affected so much of her mother’s.
I love Betty.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
The Last Psychiatrist has a good twist on the Don/Betty relationship.
http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/10/you_want_to_be_don_draper_you.html
I think his opening picture and tagline say it all.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
The Last Psychiatrist has a good view of the Don/Betty relationship.
http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/10/you_want_to_be_don_draper_you.html
I think his opening picture and tagline say it all.
November 6th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Catching up:
@19 Aran — thanks for your thoughts about choosing to be a home-mom for now, and how those who choose otherwise have their second thoughts as well. So well said.
I was on both sides of that fence through the seventies and eighties, and it’s interesting (and not surprising) to see that the struggle continues. This is one reason I’m fascinated with the Don/Betty storyline, and don’t mind spending time here, at the expense of the office storylines, although I do love them as well.
@34 and @51 not_Bridget — hahaha! So succinct, and spot-on. And also very poignant. Thanks.
@36 falafel: So well said! –
“I think you are reading the story backwards. Pete’s despicable actions were a story device to bring Pete and Trudy closer together. Firstly to give Pete a moment of shame and confession, then for Pete to ask Trudy to be closer to him, to be his moral compass. Pete’s bad behaviour resulted in Pete wanting Trudy to make him good.”
And #70 CPT_Doom — I’d agree. Betty is likely suffering from some pretty hefty depression.
whew.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:30 am
One thing about Pete that I really liked, from early in Season Three, is how he wanted to gear some of Admiral TV’s advertising to Black consumers.
In Season Four, I think it would be great if the show focused on that some more, what with the show probably jumping to ‘65 or ‘66 next, which is when some efforts along those lines were beginning to happen.
I’d also like to see a plot line that has the elevator operator, Hollis, going to night school or college, to learn about the ad biz. The mid-60s were also a period when some companies were introducing “affirmative action” programs in hiring and I think Hollis would make a good candidate for that kind of entry level “Ad Man Trainee” slot.
And while they’re at it, let’s get Paul Kinsey and Sheila back together!
November 7th, 2009 at 1:09 am
#66 SFCaramia-
Oh, goody, goody Clarice. You fell into a little literal trap I set. Homonym Ha-ha’s. You know, the filet of sole was on the wedding menu.
I wanted the sweetbreads with fava beans and nice chianti personally but . . .
Thanks for laughing. I keep 45 chimps with Notebooks locked in a warehouse. They tap away the whole day and occasionally earn their bananas. Turned the double play, those cheeky monkeys did.
I’m getting all misty; this is all coming to an end. The days will be emptier. (sniff, sniffle.)
November 7th, 2009 at 5:55 am
LOM–Yes, I did seem to remember filet of sole was on the menu at the time I was typing my resonse, but I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to look like a fool, so I stuck with the homonyms. And yes, Mona, you can call it a sweetbread, but people know, people know.
November 7th, 2009 at 10:47 am
SFC — hee,hee. Nicely played. You speak, how would Sally say it?, the Twooth.
For I think Juliet was channelling the eternal Mona when she said,
“O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? that which we call a sweetbread
By any other name would smell as sweet,”
(Or sumpin’ like that.)
November 7th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
@ 75 SmilerG- Affirimative action was the late 1960s, but I do like the idea of a black creative or secretary at Sterling Cooper.
November 8th, 2009 at 1:47 am
Didn’t Don and Roger speak of one of the other agencies having hired a Black guy, in a previous episode?
What I was thinking about is that Season Four would pick up in ‘65 or ‘66. The Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act were enacted in in ‘64 and ‘65, so I figured by ‘65 or ‘66, Sterling Cooper would have jumped on the bandwagon.
While formal Affirmative action programs did come a little later, a few big companies were at the forefront of that trend. I remember reading about was Harvey C. Russell, a Black salesman for Pepsi Cola, who was named a vice-president of the company in 1962.
November 8th, 2009 at 6:27 am
Several years ago, a book was published called “The Real Pepsi Challenge”.
It chronicles the pioneering efforts of Pepsi to market the beverage to Black consumers and retail outlets. Keep in mind, this was in seven years before Jackie Robinson broke baseball’s color barrier in 1947.
The book tells the story of a group of African-American businessmen was hired by Pepsi-Cola Co. in Queens, New York becoming among the first African-Americans to work in professional jobs in corporate America. As I posted before, Harvey C. Russell was one of those salesmen, who later became a Pepsi executive, in 1962.
C-Span’s Book TV, ran a segment about the book that features the author of the book and one of these pioneering salesmen.
This segment will be particularly interesting to Basketcases. Part of the discussion is about the print advertisements for Pepsi, in the late 40s/early 50s, that featured prominent Black figures and that showed Blacks in middle-class settings.
This was in an era when, if you saw Black faces at all in ads, they were stereotypical images. (think: Uncle Ben, Aunt Jemima, and Rastus on the Cream of Wheat box).
One of the “models” in a store display ad, was a youngster named Ron Brown, who went on to be President Clinton’s Commerce Secretary.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Pepsi_targeted_ad_1940s.jpg
The folks at Admiral TV, could’ve learned a lot from Pepsi!
Here’s the link to watch this fascinating Book TV segment …
http://www.c-spanvideo.org/program/197656-1
November 8th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Here’s another Mad Men connection …
Edward Boyd, who headed the Black Pepsi sales team, had a sister, Helen Boyd Howard.
She was married to Dr. T.R.M. Howard, a surgeon, entepreneur, and civil rights leader in Mississippi who was a mentor to Medgar Evers, who figured in the Season Three Mad Men episode, “The Arrangements”.
November 8th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I’m so sad season 3 is nearing its end.
I’ve really enjoyed the past couplea episodes….and wonder about the “Sugar Plum Fairy” muzak running throughout “The Grown Ups”. It added a surreal (childlike?) touch. I was touched that Sally comforted her mom more than once. Grown ups, indeed!
I can relate to Pete, feeling petulant about work/co-workers. Who hasn’t personalized stuff that happens at work, or been disgruntled or just pissed off?
I completely comprehend Betty’s detachment from Don and their marriage. She’s reached her limit. It seems all the chaos going on has somehow allowed Betty to give herself permission to finally just say, “Screw it! I’m gonna make myself happy and do what I need to do…” The guv has given her some options she’d never entertained. It will be interesting to see what she finally chooses, for herself and her family.