I can’t stand that I was wrong about Don and Suzanne Farrell. CAN’T.
Okay, it’s not that I hate being wrong. I hate being wrong, but that’s not what’s driving me crazy here.
I hate this relationship. I hate that Don’s interest in her was sexual. I hate that touching the grass during the maypole dance was sexual. I hate how obvious it is.
I don’t hate Don sleeping around. I mean, I get it’s not good for his marriage or his character, but I don’t hate it. It’s part of who he is, the warts-and-all Don. Sleeping with Shelly in Out of Town made sense to me, it was consistent with Don as a person.
Suzanne Farrell makes no sense. She is too young, for one thing; Don was uncomfortable with Joy’s age and I didn’t think he’d make that mistake again. And his interest in her, it seemed different to me. At the maypole, it was almost spiritual. Overall, I think he sees the new world coming; she’s a positive side of it, just as the hitchhikers were a negative side of it (and how odd that he connects with each by the side of a dark road). To translate that into another affair kind of ruins it. It’s “tawdry” as Betty said. Maybe that’s all he has to offer?
I get no chemistry between these two. I didn’t like the way he pushed himself on her (first with standing in the door, then with the strange “hug”). Maybe I’m over-sensitive after Pete in Souvenir, but I was scared.
But I just can’t stand it. I just don’t like the writing that put these two in bed.
At the beginning of Season 2, a lot of people were speculating that Peggy would have an affair with Father Gill, but as Elisabeth Moss said, “that’s not our show.” When we interviewed Matt Weiner after the Season 2 finale and we were discussing Don and Peggy, Matt said:
Isn’t it great that Don has relationships with people that are not sexual? Isn’t it great?
Yep. Great. And here we are, as predictable-yet-not-right as Father Gill, and not-great. I am so disappointed.
114 Responses to “I Can't Stand It!”
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I've been thinking about this a lot and I think it's a symptom of Don's overall decline this season, and his lack of control.
In the past I don't feel like he had to resort to immature tactics to seduce women — and here he does. I am not sure I think that's what the intent was with Don and Miss Farrell, but that's what I see in it, anyway.
I feel you, Deb. I felt the same way. Then I wondered…
What if we were right the first time, that this IS a spiritual connection, but Don doesn't know how to instigate a nonsexual relationship with a woman? Where would he have learned such a thing? Respectful communication is hardly even in the vocabulary of this era.
I see someone who wants something deeper, but has no idea what that something is or how to make it happen. His fear (of what Connie's rejection means, and all these impending dawns) cripples him, and he reverts back to his tired behavior. Old patterns have been known to rear their heads in times of crisis, and that's where we see Don. It's no accident that his affair with Suzanne is almost shot-for-shot what we saw with Rachel in Season One, but I have yet to figure out what that means.
I agree with a critic who said that Don/Farrell and Betty/Henry are the two most boring affairs we have seen on the show. So it does suck that they are taking up so much screentime. I can only hope there is an interesting payoff. It's not really that I expect Don and Betty to be good. I'm just bored. Predictable is the word for it.
I also miss connections like Betty/Glen and Don/Anna that were more interesting on a spiritual and emotional level. To make Don/Farrell predictably sexual is a disappointment; both morally and in that the writing was obvious. I was disappointed with the Pete/Gudrun story too – I'd been hoping that a connection between Pete and an Au Pair might lead to a story about Pete dealing with the knowledge of his own child with Peggy, something that was a huge bombshell in the S2 finale and has been almost totally ignored in S3.
I'm still keeping the faith with MM, but Don and Betty's stories – both their marriage problems and their affairs – have really started to bore me and the other characters seem woefully sidelined.
Don and Teacher is too obvious. It would be great if Don could show some self control occasionally. It would add more impact to the "giving in to temptation" times.
If this was a 26 week season, maybe the writers would take more time for subtlety.
I'm glad that Peggy and Rev. Hanks did not go any further. The two of them on screen at the same time was just plain awkward.
I agree, I'm not liking this relationship. I hope this blows up in his face just like the affair with Bobbie did.
Deborah…I'm also angry that I'm wrong about the writers' intention behind the maypole scene…I was so hoping that their relationship would be platonic for the sake of their circuit (i.e. being Sally's teacher, being Sally's school, knowing Betty, seeing Betty,etc).
I hate it too. I'm more disappointed in the writers than I am with Don.
I'm thinking this has the potential of getting Betty out of her fog.
I am not convinced that we all read the maypole scene wrong. I don't think he was interested in her then. I'm certain he noticed that she was pretty, and that there was something about her (all floating over to the dawning of the age of aquarius like she was) but I don't think it was hot for teacher right then. First there was school and her getting all confidey, then the drunk dial (which seemed to leave Don bemused, though he would be a fool not to note that she was, perhaps, interested), then the Hey, you're hitting on me like all the other ones thing, and then running into her… running.
# 4 TxWriter I thought Moss and Hanks were terrific together onscreen.
I share the above frustrations – both that's obvious and cheapens how special "Out of Town" felt, and that it's taking so much time away from the rest of the office folk.
But I do want to point out that Don does have nonsexual relationships with women – Peggy, Joan, that brief moment of identification with Helen Bishop in season 1.
As far as the parallels with Rachel go, I think Don likes women who seem to see some part of the real him – they scare him and they challenge him – and the Suzanne conversation during the eclipse showed (kind of obnoxiously) that she wasn't going to be swept up by his "big city" bravado. …Until she was.
One thing that did strike me about the Don/Farrell scene was that when he first went in the door, he said "I just need to talk" or something like that. And for a moment, I thought he meant it. Well let's face it, he DOES need to talk to somebody.
Is it remotely possible that Miss Farrell IS someone he can talk to (you know, once they wake up from their sex nap)?
I've been thinking about it, trying to make sense of it. We've been set up all along to view this relationship as doomed and destructive, from the moment we saw her dancing around the maypole. Every time she's been on screen, all of us shout NOOOOOOOO DON, don't do it!!
Could that be a misdirect?
She does seem to see right through him, which could be good for him for once. And they do have a connection of lost fathers and painful childhoods. And honestly, doesn't Don and Betty's marriage seem doomed? Is there any way for either of them to find happiness with each other after all the pain they've inflicted on each other over the years?
Yeah, yeah, I'm grasping at straws here, people. Work with me on this!
What if Miss Farrell is his soulmate, the earth mother he's looking for.
Oh never mind. She gets pregnant, Betty finds out, Connie deserts him in disgust and Pete's rifle comes into play.
Suzanne Farrell is a potential disaster — and perhaps a bit too predictable for our expectations of the show — but I would not say the hookup makes no sense. She has called Don on his BS repeatedly. History shows he likes that. If she seems a lesser foil than Midge or Rachel, that may reflect Don's own caged diminishment here in Season Three. And as stated in a prior thread, I think Matt Weiner is using her to show Don trying to embrace the change that we all know is coming (though I don't know how successful he'll be at that, either).
I think that we're seeing one more grasp for power from Don. Every time his job, where he feels power and identity, falter we see him lash out at someone else.
He lashed out at Peggy when she asked for a raise.
He lashed out at Sal by firing him.
And now he's making himself feel manly and powerful, but forcing a seduction.
He's not a nice guy.
gypsy howell was writing at the same time — and that misdirect could work. Suzanne, with her Maypoley openness, could be Don's East Coast Anna Draper.
(Yet I fear it won't work out that way…)
I agree. The writers seem bound and determined to have viewers hating Don this season, as well as every character on the show. It's being way overplayed. Perhaps they felt this is the only way some viewers would see Don for the cad he's always been. It's certainly no longer enjoyable to watch.
They better right the ship soon, cause to me it's way off course.
Oh, and I also think that maybe with the benefit of the passage of time I notice a lot of "glorification" of Don's affairs in the past. They were equally reprehensible, no? I mean, the scene with Don and Bobbie in Lutece (I think) was actually worse, to me anyway, than anything that has happened this season. Yet now there is a sentiment of, Don is suddenly showing himself to be a bad person.
What he did to Bobbie was really, really bad. Just my opinion, obviously, but I think he's so desperate to hold himself together when things seem to be falling apart (and that's without him even knowing that Betty, and by extension his marriage, is unraveling independently at the same time) that he is grasping at straws with Suzanne.
I think the writers set this as a deliberate misstep on Don's part. It is the confirmation of what Angry Roger says: You're in over your head.
Where Mature Don might have said simply, I am, Drowning Don says nothing.
Later, he can't sleep. So he makes up a phantom call from Connie, slips out of the house — bad cat! — and goes feral with Miss Farrell. Who both lists the reasons why it's not a good idea, and responds to his advances.
Miss Farrell is both light and dark: she stimulates Don's imagination, he admires her idealism, and he wants her sexually. Don could have played his relationship with her either way. He chose the darker path, and I do not believe it will end well for him.
I don't disapprove of the writers. They are keeping this cornered man in character. He did some things I dislike, in Wee Small Hours. But these are things that man would do … whether I like it or not.
Lisa,
The scene with Don and Bobbie in Lutece was worse… but otoh, Bobbie did start by getting aggressive grabbing his crotch in the car. It's been discussed here that the Don/Bobbie tryst was sado-masochistic in nature, as much about power and dominance than about the sex, let alone romance.
In the broader sense, Matt W has been pretty clear in interviews 9and at least one ep title) that decay is a theme of this season, so it fits that Don is becoming more desperate and tawdry.
What he did to Bobbie was really, really bad. Not disagreeing that Don has done some very bad things, but in Bobbie's case, he was dishing back pretty much exactly what she was dishing out. I always saw her as the aggressor in that relationship, from the first time she grabbed his crotch in the car, to trying to blackmail him at Lutece.
Karl, I was writing while you were posting. Great minds etc
I think what he did to Bobbie at the restaurant was an extension of their sexual relationship, which seemed like it could have been an S&M thing. What he did was still pretty bad, but maybe Bobbie didn't have the same reaction that we did.
I also think that Moss and Hanks were good on screen together, and I never got an inkling of anything inappropriate between them. I think he admired her greatly for who she is, but being a priest, still wanted to save her soul, which he felt was in danger.
My response to Don finallly seeking Teacher out was "you fucker" and when she gave him to him, "you silly bitch". I don't like this at all, but am willing to wait to see how it all plays out. Like everybody else, I assume it will be badly, and frankly, Don has it coming to him. He's been such a jerk to Peggy, and his "you people" comment to Sal was uncalled for, so I'm ready to see him taken down a few pegs.
Yes — Don is becoming more desperate and tawdry while Betty, trapped as she is, is showing herself as strong enough not to give in to desperation. I applaud her for not giving in to (what can only be classified at the time as) giving in to "the woman's role" in the affair. She waited around once, but she won't do it again. It's as though she's finally expanded (or is gradually starting to) beyond obsession with appearances. When he stands her up at the fakeout fundraiser, this is no longer about how things look — it's about her dignity.
Figures that Don's ultimate unraveling coincides with Betty's possible discovery of her sense of self.
That response was to Karl, #17. And Jules — ugh, my stomach lurched at the way Don treated Sal. This is the first episode I've ever angrily called Don names.
"you people" and then "Who do you think you're talking to?"
There's despicable, and then there's DESPICABLE, and the caps have been turned way up now.
I think this relationship is about him being self-destructive, I thought of that poster of him in rising waters last night. It made so much sense after the last episode, Don just keeps digging his own grave. The only change is that this teacher did warn him and gave him enough time to leave. She seems slightly unstable emotionally.
Sarah M,
I agree that the contrast between Betty and Don was part of the point of "Wee Small Hours." But one of the great things about Mad Men is that Henry is basically right, too. After getting caught in the Draper home by Carla, it was probably the smart thing for him to avoid the actual fundraiser.
#22…I liked/hated the way Don treated Sal. Hated it because it was down right mean and DESPICABLE but liked it in regards to the writing. For the times I've seen movies/shows taking place in the 60s, there seemed to be a greater deal of emphasis on cliched themes such as the Civil Rights Movement, JFK's assassination, the music, clothing, Hippies Movement, etc.
What I don't see played out enough are the treatment of the gays and women. In Mad Men, we've seen the sexism but not enough about the struggles of the gays. I liked that we saw that bit and how crucial it was. I understand after all this that there was someone in real life like Don back in the 60s and gay/female discrimination. The same with Peggy's struggles…thats what lit the fire behind the feminist movement…the rejection that women like Peggy have endured in that time.
Oh, that was a question I had. Did Carla hear them, or did she just know? I didn't catch the moment she might have overheard, but of course, "What should I tell them you're here for?" or whatever the line was seemed laughably poorly thought out.
I think Don had been frustrated in every aspect of his working life and teacher was his idea of an antidote to that. He wanted to "win" her – she's sort of like Don's equivalent to Sal cruising in the park – a dangerous way to deal with your frustration but the sort of thing people do even tho it's not a good way to deal with things.
But as far as it all goes, the Draper family issues, other than Carla, are not anywhere near as interesting to me as what goes on at S-C. I wish the show didn't spend so much time in Ossified or Tarrying Town or where ever it is. Betty's story is pretty limited until or unless something changes for her so a little bit of suburbia goes a long way.
With Hilton taking up so much of Don's time, it would be easy to justify fewer suburban scenes.
I also think the show is stronger when S-C moments are mixed with home ones, when there's a focus on home stories – including Pete and the au pair abuse.
Honestly, tho, I haven't been especially thrilled with any of the women Don has hooked up with on the show. I've never gotten the impression, except with Midge, that Don's hook ups are especially interesting to him beyond the fresh meat aspect of his prowling. In other words, I think Don is sexually frustrated because he's personally frustrated – he doesn't connect with anyone usually.
the only time I didn't get that impression was when Don was with Betty in Italy and when Don and Betty got back together at Gene's.
I think Carla just knew that strange men are not invited into the Draper home (witness Don's reaction to hearing about the A/C salesman in "Indian Summer").
Pamela,
I think what disappointed me was that Don seemed almost supportive of Sal during "Out of Town." He's not shoulder to cry on, of course, but he made it clear that he wasn't going to use this against him, and hiring him as Creative Director underlined what seemed to be a respectful work relationship.
"I swear on my mother's life" broke my heart, because this is clearly the most unwavering way Sal can prove he's not lying. I don't think Don believes in that kind of purity, or — if he does, he wants it in a flowery brunette package — I think it's cowardice, guilt, cynicism, and self-indulgence that keeps him from seeing it in another man.
Sarah: you know, it just hit me that Don is referring to himself with the "you people" comment again. He has no respect for himself. What would Don do if a client hit on him and his refusal would have cost the company? He would have slept with her. He HAS slept with her. That's what Don does. If he has to whore himself out to get the goods, he does it. He did it with Rachel. He did it with Bobbi. Maybe it's self loathing but Sal is a convenient target of an out group so he once again projects onto the person in front of him.
Don hates himself. Connie made it worse. He goes to teacher lady because she seems so 'pure' and unsullied by the compromises people have to do to get along in the world. Her spirit is cleansing. It's idealistic.
Then Don goes and dirties her up. But he also sleeps.
I think it's already a disaster. I think Connie called again after Don left, and Betty said "he's with you". Maybe I'm projecting a bit here, but this is a really, really stupid move on Don's part.
And I agree that this is a really disappointing plot development, not because I'm sorry to see Don get his comeuppance but because I just don't believe in it. I don't buy Suzanne and Don AT ALL. I don't believe he's attracted to her (other than "oh, she's pretty"), and I don't believe she's interested in him at all. It seems forced. And pointless, though maybe the point will be coming. Don may be a jerk, but he's an INTERESTING jerk — until now. Suzanne's never been an interesting anything.
When he walked into her place, he said, in what I thought was a laughably forced and ridiculous way, "this is nice!" It didn't sound like Don.
It seems like the writing has intruded into the story. The hand of the creators are a little too obvious here, pushing their characters around thoughtlessly, in a show that's been all about thoughtfulness until now.
I hope I'm not just reacting emotionally to emotional bad news on every front last night, but I thought this episode was kind of lame. Clumsy, even.
esme,
1. Really like the Don and Sal seeking out danger parallel. Nice catch.
2. Things do happen in Betty's arc, but you mayfind Sepinwall's take on Betty helpful in explaining why most prefer the office drama.
3. I think Don was challenged by — and likely loved — Rachel Menken.
Karl,
Agree. Don loved Rachel, and I think he's been seeking something like that feeling — from someone like her — ever since.
But no one is "like" anyone else. Everyone is a completely different adventure, dark and light and challenge and complement included. This is why Don's predawn flight to Miss Farrell was ill-fated, I think.
great post, btw, to stimulate some give and take.
Anne B. – I don't know that Don loved Rachel. He tried to get her to run away with him when he thought Pete was going to out him. She picked up on his desperation and, iirc, said the whole moment wasn't about her but about his issues with life.
I think he doesn't fully relate to anyone, including Betty, who was born into an easy life. If Don is going to make an emotional connection, I don't think it will be with anyone who is part of the power structure. Rachel wasn't part b/c of her Jewishness – but Don was pretty ignorant about her life when he wanted to run off with her and I think that was what put off Rachel at that time.
That he would assume she could or would just drop her entire life and run off showed how little he really knew her.
I should read the comments, as I'm sure someone's said this already, but this is one point I so wholeheartedly agree on, I just had to let it out. WHY, Don? It doesn't make sense. I thought the whole stop-flirting-with-me at the eclipse would be the end of it. "I want you"? Really?
The world is closing in around the S-C way of life. And fast. Not that there are any plans as such for the show, but can anyone really see it carrying on past '66 or '67. Vietnam, hippies, psychadelic rock n' roll? Looking back historically, it's amazing what a 'brief shining moment' this era truly was. I see Don ending up with the teacher, working with his hands in some fashion, as an artist perhaps, in California, in a markedly downsized lifestyle. But free of the constraints he's built for himself.
And also from Miss Farrell's perspective . . . . hot, smart. deliciously brooding guy comes to your house in the middle of the night after months of flirtation and says he wants you . . . I can't really see that she would turn him down.
I know this blog isn't designed for commenters to drool over Jon Hamm, but to analyze the show. But . . . it's easy to see why she didn't kick him out, no?
I think Ms. Farrell represents modernity.
Beyond the obvious – youth and idealism – lets catalog the traits that we culturally associate with the coming decades and womens changing role in our culture. As we have all recognized, the decay of white men and their life-long prerogatives is the overarching theme and Don, Roger, Peter, Harry, Lee Jr., Sal (beard as cover), and others.
Don's decay and future irrelevance is wrapped together in Ms. Farrell. Her traits:
Honesty in speech. Our beloved Joan wields power and influence with subtlety and inference. Ms. Farrell is open: Family death, 'you're all alike…', 'this is going to end badly'. Other women are straight with Don, and he doesn't always like it, but her honesty is about change, and why he himself is still wearing the same shirt.
Health: Apart from some drunk dialing, we see Ms. Farrell running. Scoffs at smoking. Apart from structured athletics, and the Olympics, woemn jogging is received by Don with what must be obvious to him: Does she need a ride?
Sexual honesty:
To mangle a phrase, Ms. Farrell represents that women in the sexual revolution had the right and opportunity to make poor sexual choices, jsut as much as men. Now, we've seen women make dubious sexual decisions (Duck, Mr. Fantastic in the bar), but here is a woman willing to have sex even though she warns her partner that its going to be bad for both of them. Thats freedom, isn't it?
I see Ms. Farrell as the oracle of the future much more than Hilton, Hollis, Sally, Lois on the mower or any other character development that influences the show.
Don wants Ms. Farrell (ldo). Don wants the future, but has so much to lose, so much to hide, that to reinvent himself for the future, for a Hilton on the Moon, means rejecting the cloak of character he has created for himself. He asked it himself: Are you (freedom) dumb? Pure?
We saw him want to be the London guy. We see him want to be better. But whenever he is presented with something from the FUTURE, he fails.
And that list is long: Joy, Hilton on the Moon, Ms. Farrell, homosexuality and cultural awareness, the rise of inferential advertising, his children, artwork, TV…
To wrap up, as others have written, Don sees the future, and it is not him.
How depressing.
Sorry to say this – and for the record, I can't stand this relationship either – but I'm not convinced that it is not in keeping with Don's character.
He sees something beautiful, that attracts his eye. She is pure, lovely and represents goodness and natural beauty. Why not fuck it?
Seriously. Don's not shown to be too much more evolved than that. We all would like to think he is, because he's "our hero" in all this. But in our heads we know he's not.
I know we'd really like to think more of Don, but other than turning Peggy away in Smoke, what has he ever refused?
And by the way (and this may be a separate post in the near-future), I'm not in agreement with those who want to link Don's actions with the circumstances he's facing (e.g. he seduced Miss Farrell, so he deserves to lose the Hilton account; he was mean to Peggy so something bad should happen, etc.).
In Mad Men, often the opposite is true … it's like what Warren Buffett says about the stock market: it is irrational in the short-term, and very VERY rational in the long-term.
By that, I mean that all of Don's actions will have serious consequences OVER TIME, like Adam's suicide. But in the near-term he is likely to continue to be rewarded for being the golden boy of S-C, showered with money, praise and status in a world that gives him the benefit of the doubt because he's attractive and clever.
Finally, I'll reserve final judgment until it all plays out. It is easy, for me anyway, to forget how unlikable Bobbie Barrett was after seeing how she affected Peggy. As if her and Don's affair had a purpose larger than just seeing Don bang Jimmy's wife. She was there to teach Peggy about life, which had a satisfaction all its own.
Maybe this will too … hope so, anyway.
What is it with the writers? We have seen the "men making booty calls" pattern repeat itself throughout the three seasons. Sure, it's a useful plot device, but it's also getting stale. It assumes that all these women — Midge, Rachel, Peggy, the German au pair, Suzanne — willingly let Dons and Petes into their apartments, at night. Oh, and they never have curlers in when they come to the door.
As for Suzanne, she's not a well-written character, and that's a reason why people are cringing.
# 42 brenda Says:
"October 12th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
What is it with the writers? We have seen the “men making booty calls†pattern repeat itself throughout the three seasons. Sure, it’s a useful plot device, but it’s also getting stale. It assumes that all these women — Midge, Rachel, Peggy, the German au pair, Suzanne — willingly let Dons and Petes into their apartments, at night. Oh, and they never have curlers in when they come to the door.
As for Suzanne, she’s not a well-written character, and that’s a reason why people are cringing."
Couldn't agree more. How refreshing and realistic it would be if she had sternly said to him at the door: "Excuse me?! I don't think so. Good night."
Also surprised that more don't comment on that here, and how derrogatory the show is — even in 1960s terms — towards women.
#39 Lisa,
YES. Jesus God, yes.
Who'd kick that man out in the middle of the night? At any time of day, for that matter? Show of hands? If you would, I have a San Francisco address I need you to give him.
Anyway.
The Dude, excellent comments. I see Don's recognition of what Miss Farrell represents, his need to share that energy, optimism, light: but he falls back to old habits. He sees her as a sexual conquest, not a friend or someone who could hear him out in a difficult time.
She probably would have been open to helping him, too.
But Don's choosing all of that would have meant he wanted to be someone different from who he is. It would have meant wanting to be that enough to start working on it, right there in that young woman's apartment. That's incredibly hard to do in 2009, in broad daylight, when you're well rested. Wanting to have something new is so damn much easier than wanting to be something new …
and it's late at night, and she is pretty, and well …
Growing and changing is so much trouble. Really. I don't see why anybody would bother.
#42 & 43, I agree completely. These cads never get told no, unless it gets Sal fired or something. I like to think there must have been decent men in the 1960's and women who could stand up for themselves. Or at least have enough self-respect not to open the door to jerks in the middle of the night!
I don't think I like the Suzanne/Bobbie comparisons. Bobbie was kind of awesome (I will apologize if this rambles or ignores accepted spelling, I have been stranded at the airport bar for 3 hours with 2 hours to go! Cheers).
Bobbie was dynamic, sexual and wise. Suzanne makes the FF finger itchy and I think she is kind of a twit. I agree with whomever said that Don/Suzanne and Betty/Henry are some really boring attempts at infidelity. Which leads to the question, why is the sex so bad this season? (exceptions, Sal/Bellhop and marginally, Don/Betty in Italy)
Okay, the lady next to me has given me a judgmental look for ordering another Martini….
So much cynicism. (And projection of the stardom of the show's cast onto its intrepretation.) Anne B, he's sleeping like a baby after this conquest, in an intimate embrace. When have we ever seen that? I see him, and Betty, as growing. They just can't do it with each other, and both now realize that and are making plans for elsewhere, and make no effort towards each other anymore.
Bobbie and Don were mature (relatively) adults, and they were equals. It had spark and sizzle. And she was interesting — a successful dame, working her way in a man's world. What Joan might be if she had Bobbie's drive.
Don and Suzanne are a contrivance, and really, Don, your daughter's teacher? How banal.
I have almost no interest in Don. He's a plot device but his character is so dishonest and isolated from human interaction that it's hard to care what happens to him.
I only care about how he hurts other characters — and that seems to be his raison d'etre.
A few scattered thoughts:
Betty may possess a fainting couch, but, for the time being at least, she is thankfully refusing to play Madame Bovary. For her, despite all the problems in her home life, she knows it is the reality and that Henry or that guy at the bar are the fantasy. Fantasies are nice when you're daydreaming, but not so much when they knock on your front door uninvited.
For Betty, Henry's surprise visit was like when Adam stopped by Don's office – the sudden spilling over from one compartment of life into another. Both Betty and Don responded in the same way: momentary panic, get the unwelcome/embarrassing person out of there fast, then damage control.
As for Don, he traded reality for fantasy long ago. For the price of living a lie, he got to live the dream. The cost of that lie is that he can never fully be part of that dream but must forever attempt to scratch his way into it from outside. Quite the Faustian bargain.
Don's latest affair is moving beyond "ineptitude with insufficient cover" into the land of "people don't think you're happy, they think you're foolish." But he probably figures that when you don't believe in happily ever after, there's no such thing as self-sabotage.
#47,
I did see Don Draper sleeping the sleep of the innocent (and the doomed? Who said that?). Yes.
But I still see him as a broken person, his insides smashed into a thousand pieces, who when the chips are down (as they were on that night) seeks comfort in a way that I would describe as dangerous.
As I've said before, I think Don values integrity because he longs for it. And doesn't know what it feels like. And is attracted to people who exude it, move with the ease of it, have never known what it's like to be anything other than what they are.
"Who are you?" (Please let me inside the beautiful, safe place that is what I perceive as you.)
I also think Betty is broken — because she needs to string Henry Francis along, to pin him on a clothesline and leave him hanging there, longing in turn for her, till next they meet — but I don't have any view into the forces that broke her.
Their marriage is fascinating and sad, because not only do these people not want to grow together, they don't want to grow at all. If it happens, it will be because they were pushed to it. Their children force it, their marriage fails, their economic circumstances change. A windfall, a tragedy. Something big has to land in their backyard before they will act.
As for projection: the point I was making is that the man, Don Draper, is hot. The actor is hot, the character is hot, whatever: but that's a hot guy and I am a straight female, and I am just shallow enough to care.
Um… people are saying that they don't really care for the Suzanne/Don pairing, but I believe that is the feeling that the writers want you to have. There is this uneasiness that comes with Suzanne… especially when she dictated Don's B.S. at the solar eclipse. She knew the game before he played it, yet Don insisted on pursuing her anyway.
Also, I've noticed a pattern of verbal usage on other boards that are trying to taint Suzanne with a "crazy tag." I don't think she is crazy, she is real and upfront and refuses to be subtle, an extreme difference from Betty and her fellow mommy cohorts in Ossining.
Anne B, the question in my post wasn't whether you saw Don sleeping like a baby, it was when have we ever seen that before, after any of his sexual conquests?, the point being that this is different. And had Don wanted to go after her for the sake of it, he could have done that long ago. So why now?
If the show is simply a chronical of bed-hopping, dressed up in New Frontier costuming then I think it will (does) fail. But I don't think it is and think there's a plot arc that is unfolding beyond that of white men behaving badly. Weiner for one has said the show is about how people change. Contrast that with Sopranos, which was about how they don't, and ultimately suffered because, like most mob films/series, simply end when most of the cast is killed off and the FBI comes in. Cue the witness protection program.
I really don't buy the idea that Don is somehow going to be emotionally healed through one of these, what is becoming generic, dark haired Paramours. His connection to Anna is because she knew his secret and made his nu-life possible. Plus it wasn't complicated by a sexual relationship. Whatever he found with Midge, or Rachel and now the teacher is escapism, not reality.
Does anyone really imagine that Don is going to run off with any of these women, abandon his career and family to find the '70s and live happily ever after? That those 3 abandoned and fatherless children he left back in Ossining wouldn't haunt his dreams as much as Archie and the rest of his childhood do today?
And is the oh-so-sensitive and young Miss Farrell, a woman who feels so much for the world and it's children that she drinks herself into drunk dialing married men to lure them into her bed … knowing that this particular one has a new baby at home and a daughter who acting out over her unexpressed grief, but doesn't care? Is this the woman who would heal Dick Whitman and become his new whatever? Really? Although, maybe two such deceivers deserve one another.
At this point, I feel Meditations was a complete waste of time as an episode and the last 9 episodes are irrelevant. Don didn't mean a word he said, and Betty would have been better off having the baby alone.
"I’m thinking this has the potential of getting Betty out of her fog."
That could be true, Betty finally sees with her own eyes now that the affair is right in her backyard. Maybe they wanted to make it easy for her rather than him.
Unlike other Basketcases, I think Suzanne is the woman who will help Don heal emotionally. She appears to be self-contained, to know who she is. She is direct and intuitive, and I think she is not looking for a man to give her a sense of identity — she knows who she is already. That gives Don a lot of room to be who he is — if he only knew what that is! Suzanne will be instrumental in that journey of discovery. She has much to give Don–she will give from surplus, not grasp out of need . . . And that is most freeing to troubled souls. And she calls it as she sees it — how refreshing that must be to Don whose world is built upon manipulation.
Suzanne is definitely not crazy. I think she's actually pretty smart and has good "radar" for what Don is all about.
As for Don, I sort of yawned when he and Suzanne embraced. Haven't we seen this before? The only thing that intrigued me by their encounter is Don's astounding lack of judgment. His daughter's teacher? Who lives close by to the Drapers? And he parks his easy to spot baby blue Cadillac in front of her house, sure to be seen by the likes of Francine Hanson? And he tells Betty an easy to spot lie ("Hilton called")?
The only sense I can make of this is that Don no longer cares. If he gets caught, perhaps that will be the most efficient way to end his marriage rather than have a protracted argument with the inscrutable Betty. And, if I recall correctly, he told Suzanne Farrell when he entered her apartment that he doesn't care. He's on a downward cycle. He's not making Betty happy. He's not making Conrad Hilton happy. His actions of late are even more rash than when he told Rachel that he wanted to run away. He tried being "good" and he can't do it. So why even bother to try any more? Just have fun and let the chips fall where they may. Only this time, I think when the chips fall, they will fall really hard and there won't be any going back like there was last year when he made his "I wasn't respectful of you" speech to Betty and wrote that nice apology letter. I think the end of the Draper marriage is upon us, and that could make the story even more interesting — how will these two people get on with their lives? Where will they go next?
HelenB, I'm with you- Suzanne is not bad — dangerous for Don but not bad. For the moment.
This can't all be for naught, can it?
38:It may not happen, but I think i is what part of Don really wants.
I am remembering "The Jet Set" (as a life Don didn't want and the following episode last season, Don talking with the hotrodders, how comfortable Don was in that lower middle-class house with Mrs Hickman. This is the kind of place Farrell has, and that I think Don sincerely thought was "nice" and a place he could sleep. The other place had the phone with his master's right to call him inthe wee small hours.
Face it. Don is "living a lie" on so many levels. He is blue-collar to the core. He isn't interested in the art on Yodabert's walls. His big house feels like a prison. He does like the cars. Midge the beatnik was closest to a soul mate, Rachel and Bobbie were wrong for him. Betty is nothing but surface and sex.
Don should become a hippie, or a garage mechanic. The show is about the traps the 60s put us all in, and those traps of ambition and convention an heirarchies are still powerful and constraining. Those traps were killing for not just those at the bottom, but for those who could reach for the top.
I don't see where the writers are going with the Don-Miss Farrell affair unless it is all contrived to further traumatize Sally and push her toward some act of violance that has been foreshadowed throughout the season. Otherwise it just doesn't make sense — there are too many attractive women in the city for him to risk an affair in his own backyard. The logistics alone are too daunting — she has a job with no flexibility for lunch hour trysts, and won't his car be noticed parked on her street at night?
I can see how Sally could fantasize about having a warm and loving woman like Miss Farrell as her mother instead of the ice princess Betty…but if Don leaves Betty you can be sure Sally will never see Miss F again, in school or out. I believe she'd be fired on a morals clause. If we think Betty been a bitch up to now, just wait til she gets wind of this one. Scorched earth in Ossining.
Damn I meant Mrs Draper at 7:35. Anne
Haven’t we seen this before?
Not really. Midge the beatnik was phony and terminally hip. Don is not the type to care about Miles David and poetry readings. But she was closer to who Don really is.
Farrell is just a schoolteacher. No, not dynamic or fascinating, but kinda nice kind and ordinary. Best fit for Dick Whitman so far on the show.
Would it be too boring for Dick Whitman to start a garage?
I am saddened that the show seems to be devolving into soap opera. What happen to ad campaigns, dinner at fancy 60's style restaurants, the secretaries, new copying machines, etc.
The teacher seems like a little bit of a loose cannon. My point of reference is the phone call she made to the Draper household when Don talked to her. That was pretty ballsy for her to do.
I think Don needs excitement and danger in his life. He needs to feel like he's a "bad boy rebel" in order to feel alive and a connection to who he really is, Dick Whitman. I see a lot of chemistry between Don and Suzanne because she is ultimately a good fit for Dick Whitman. Betty is a perfect fit for Don Draper. Do you see Betty hanging out with Anna? Definitely not. But I could see Suzanne being able to have a good conversation with Anna. Both Anna and Suzanne are earthy, open, and honest.
The most comfortable we've seen Don is when he was with Anna. Not because he's romantically interested in her, but because he can be honest and be himself.
Mad Men isn't about Don and Betty and Suzanne being good people, or the viewers approving or disapproving their choices. It's about how human they are, and what do they really want in life to be honest and fulfilled, and the price they have to pay for living a lie.
Sal can't be honest about who he really is in the corporate environment, or with his Italian mother, so he lives a lie. That lie cost him his job, even though he's such a talented and kind man. That lie will probably also cost him his marriage as well, even though he really loves his wife. It's a bummer, because he really doesn't have a lot of other options in terms of living his life honestly.
I agree with Anne B that Don thinks this is the right move and thinks that Miss Ferrell might have some answers for him. In other words that the Maypole scene might still be valid as something other than a pure conquest.
The problem for Don and Betty too is that that don’t know what they want but they want something right away. They are looking for a quick fix to a larger problem. With Miss Ferrell jogging I thought of the old line, “Why are you running when you are on the wrong road?â€
Baby Gene gets a pass because – well he’s a baby and just acting on instinct. He wants to be fed. Lee Jr. wants action from Sal, Betty wants Henry at the fundraiser, Henry wants action from Betty and Don wants the teacher. Connie wants the moon and apparently really means it.
The adults are old enough to know better. They want what they want now but to echo a line from the end of S1 they are not really thinking it through. Betty thinks she wants an affair but decides against the messy, tawdry physical kind. Don is sure as heck not thinking it through with the “Ferrell fling.â€
In Shakespeare the batty characters are often right and in Wee Hours it’s Miss Ferrell who strikes me as both batty and right about how this fling is going to down with Don – very badly. Don and Betty are under slept and overdrinking. We’ve seen the pressure building inside Betty and now its Don’s turn. Roger who in S3 has usually been portrayed as the fool or the baby this season also happens to be right when it comes to Don being in over his head.
Connie wants an ad campaign that conveys a fundamental “goodness†and “confidence.†These are the exact qualities that are missing in Don right now and I’d like to think he’s aware of this at some level. Maybe he is reaching out for answers from the young teacher: “who are you?â€
The impatience theme is underscored when Betty suggests to Carla that maybe the country needs to hold off a bit longer on civil rights. (yeah right 1863-1963 isn’t a long enough wait – whoa!) Carla so clearly contrasts as the only normative, mature, adult holding things together in the Draper household and is the only one seeing things as they are.
Well anyway I’m hoping someone shows some growth pretty quick – we only have 4 episodes and I can’t take many more “Wee Hours!â€
Oh Deborah … hugs!! I know what you mean… I thought of you guys last night when I saw that… here I was on Basket-of-Kisses writing on and on about premonitions of hippies, spiritual connection to the earth etc… and at the time I argued with my cousin (who dismissed my analysis of the Maypole dance) and she said, "No. It symbolizes nothing. Don's just a ho-bag."
I would argue that it's not simple "cheating or not cheating". Characters have reasons for what they do.
Don is not able to be his "real self" with Betty. He is desperately trying to connect with someone who would understand Dick Whitman – someone without money (her apartment had that 1930's feel to me), free, idealistic (her MLK speech comment), mysterious – the "Dick" (excuse the pun!) in him wants to be seen. He wants the connection but doesn't know how to make that happen in his trapped Don Draper world.
Connie is really drawn to Dick (at the bar/1st meeting). Connie is turned off by the flashy "Don Draper" at the SC presentation. This throws Don into a turmoil.
Marianne Williamson said something like (I'm paraphrasing), "some people get naked as a way of avoiding true nakedness" – and that is DON/DICK for sure…
I think it's entirely possible that Don has slept like a baby in his other affairs. In fact, we have seen Don resting with his head on the chests of both Midge and Rachel in a motherly fashion that Matt makes quite clear as signaling "motherly" in the DVD commentary. You didn't see that with Bobbie, as S2 was in part about motherhood desexualizing women.
B.Cooper asks:
I think we are meant to believe that Don behaved himself between Rachel and Bobbie, which was a considerable period (for Don, anyway) that we didn't see.
Don and Rachel, or Don and Bobbie, are really not analogous at all to Sal and Lucky Jr. Rachel didn't proposition Don; she certainly didn't make sleeping with him a condition of her remaining with S-C; quite the opposite. Bobbie wasn't a client, but the wife of the "talent," and they were trying to get rid of that talent and she was trying to prevent it with that crotch grab.
Don is with Suzanne because he wants to get caught. He's not even bothering to be discreet about it. People are going to find out; that's not even a "maybe." Yeah, he'll have an expensive divorce on his hands, but so what? He'll probably marry Suzanne, find out what life is like for people with less money, and then we'll see how much Sally loves her former teacher now that she's her "new mommy." Don and Betty are like two plus-ended magnets repelling each other; they can't possibly last.
I don't have time to read all of the comments right now, but I totally agree with this post. Frankly I think this has been the weakest of the seasons (at least so far) by far. It certainly hasn't lived up to the standards of season 2, IMO.
Just a thought that the “you people” remark should also be considered against the civil rights backdrop of the show. “You people” is frequently used in a racial/ethnic context, and usually comes out when one of “those people” is upsetting the order of the ordinary power structure, or otherwise simply inconveniencing a mainstream person’s day.
And have to agree with Gypsy Howelll and Karl above; people are too easily falling for the “this is not going to go well” midirect of the teacher. I think Don likes her quite reserve, her perception and her lack of pretension. This one’s a keeper …
Coop:
Don refused the waitress at the bar where he canned his old business partner from Mohawk, and Mirabelle's twin.
But yes: when Don said "I've been good" to his doctor, that was how I took it. I've been good, and damned if I'm not bored. Ths was between the Rachel Period and the Reign of Bobbie.
I agree with Meowser: I don't see any of Don's indiscretions with women as being analogous to Lee's pass at Sal. Lee took advantage of Sal, pure and simple. Sal was as professional as ever, focusing on his work. It never occurred to him that a client (a guest, really, in his workplace) would make such a move.
That was more of an attack than Don has ever suffered. And Don did — as you'll remember — take his revenge on Bobbie, for having the moxie to push him around. Not once, but twice.
thanks for the link, Karl.
I think, when it came right down to it, Betty didn’t want to have an adult relationship with Henry. She wanted the excitement of flirtation without actually getting on the slip and slide fun park sex ride.
Not to mention the emotional attachment that would divide her heart.
Henry’s not the same as the guy in the bar because she already has an idea of who Henry is. The bar guy was anonymous revenge. Betty was saying f-you to Don with that one.
With Henry, she would have to deal with the day after the deed.
What’s telling about the difference between the two worlds – S-C v. suburbia – and Don’s life and Betty’s is that the most interesting parts of Betty’s world are the ones that take place in her head when she’s in a fugue state.
With Don, the flashbacks are far less interesting than what’s going on in the here and now of there and then.
@ riverdaughter #30
Maybe it’s self loathing but Sal is a convenient target of an out group so he once again projects onto the person in front of him. Don hates himself
*click* That's it. Just as in his magical ad pitches, just as in his blasting away at Peggy, everything Don says is all about Don. When Sal insists "I'm a married man," Don dimisses it immediately, not, I think, because he saw Sal with the bellhop in Baltimore, but because he knows all about his own marriage and how little it means. He's cynicism all the way through here.
What's depressing to me is that I thought that Don, for all his faults, at least had some empathy for people in the same position as him, secret keepers like Peggy and Sal. Turns out that, though he won't tell their secrets (clearing him of any charge of blatant hypocrisy), that's as far as it goes. When it comes down to cases, Peggy isn't as important as paper clips, nor Sal as valuable as a paying client.
****
As to the main subject of this thread, I have to agree with Deb's original point: I just don't find Suzanne interesting in the least, nor do I see the slightest chemistry, sexual or otherwise, between her and Don. I never took the "run Don, she's nuts" view, but I don't see her as a very compelling representative of the New World Coming, either. I can't see her as much more than Don falling into his old habits. It's a very 'meh' affair.
I'm shocked at how many people think this weirdo teacher is a breath of fresh air, open, honest…. Hell to the no! Betty thinks a go-around with Henry in his office is tawdry? No, this teacher is tawdry. She's too…obvious. She knows the dads, how they act, what they say, that they're bored. "Prove me wrong," is the challenge she seems to convey. But to prove themselves right, makes her all the more irresistable, and she knows it. She's pitched this sale one too many times, and to me, it falls flat.
Hmmm, maybe her and Don are soulmates after all?
Let me just say this: Bert, Melville and Anne B.—we're not worthy. I love your comments. There are others too, like Karl and gypsy, and Retrogirl… you MAKE this blog even better.
Why's Don attracted to Suzanne…
I think Don's a judgmental person. He judges HIMSELF for his parentage and he can't get past it. "Didn't you hear I'm a whore child"… Lots of people have dubious beginnings, but are proud of what they make of themselves.
Don's respects Connie, who has made something of himself, which causes Don to take it even harder when Connie disapproves of something Don does. This is a man who KNOWS, in Don's mind.
I think Don's self loathing is a huge factor in what lacks in his relationship with Betty. Clearly there's a physical attraction there. But under the surface, both of them suffer for stable self esteem and neither can help the other with the problem. Undoubtedly Don yearns for love, escape and comfort from his affairs. But maybe more than anything, he's attracted to women with self confidence. I think he desperately needs to learn how to judge himself favorably and is hungry for that knowledge, though not consciously aware that he's looking for it.
I wonder if what Don's attracted to in Suzanne is that she's sure of herself, solid in her self-confidence.
What's different this time…
When Don had affairs in the past, he was oblivious to what it did to Betty. He came and went as he pleased, no excuses.
This time, he woke Betty to tell her a lie. He knows now what this will do to her and he doesn't care.
I realize Betty's having at least an emotional affair with Harris, but Don doesn't appear to know what she's thinking or doing, so his actions aren't revenge of any kind…
Oh, one more thing… I wanted to point out that the teacher is not Sally's teacher THIS year.
I suppose I'm caught between thinking that I don't "like" this affair and that I don't "believe" this affair of Don's. Unlike Bobbie (who made me feel similarly queasy), Suzanne has been introduced gradually, so I've had a chance to develop an opinion before the affair actually began. Suzanne bothers me because she seems too idealistic to be so jaded. She knows that it's going to end in tears, yet she doesn't put up a convincing fight. She says these men are all the same, yet she's somehow OK with that. She believes so much in the innate understanding of her pupils, yet she acts in opposition to what she herself knows. She's maddening because she's herself, and maddening because in some ways she reminds me of me – what an indictment.
Either she's an incredibly insightfully written character, one with as many internal paradoxes and inconsistencies as a real person might have, or she's a ham-handed attempt to do everything which accomplishes nothing. And I love this show, so I dearly hope it's the former.
I agree with JAN. Betty is going to have the teacher eating shit when she finds out what is going on between her and Don. Betty while some on these threads say isnt in the political scheme anymore, but she certainly has power amongst the group of women she was with who rallied to have their park saved. They trust her, and look to as a leader. Plus the fundraiser must have gotten a few people to notice that Betty Draper is a cool girl who doesnt need her husband to help her. What I am getting at is, that dont under estimate Betty this season. The Draper household power has shifted gears to her. She is in control, and she can do what she wants when she wants, but she has the class and the morals not to follow through with something fairy tailish and childish, even though she wants to (ala' the affair with Henry). All I am saying is that Ms. Fallon better watch out, because Betty the BITCH is on the rise, and Don is going to fall deeper and deeper than he has before.
#77 – I know Crazy is not Sally's teacher, this year. But she's Sally's TEACHER- the one that she had a crush on. We all know that teacher. Male or female, it was the one that listened more, pushed more, cared more. The one that made us feel that we mattered. That's probably why Crazy still has her teacher certification. "Hey, we know you're having multiple affairs with the dads here in ______(fill in the blank) county, but you're a REALLY good teacher. The kids love you! Just leave here, up the road a bit….and we'll forget this ever happened. But don't come back now, ya hear?" That's what makes Don's decision all the more heinous IMO.
I wonder how the pencil case is going to play into all this. Sally was really preoccupied with obtaining one. Is it a requirement Ms. Crazy has on her supply list? Something Sally identifies with, as to still symbolically remain Crazy's pupil? Too much mentioning to just ignore it. Bet it becomes significant.
Thank Goodness you let it all out on this thread, Deborah. I feel the same way. But I discounted my feelings because I have lived life as a modern Betty D, albeit not as cold, petty and beautiful! What I mean is that my ex-husband cheated constantly, I know now, throughout our 15 year relationship. Mad Men, as much as i love it, can be so triggering for me. I sure don't love Betty as a character, but I am growing tired of the way she is written, especially the recent not-so-subtle set up of her being a cold bitch after Rome, and Don heading out to screw the teacher the very next ep.
And the idea that no one could resist Don if he showed up at your door? I'm no angel but the father of a child I taught with a new baby a few miles down the road? I can honestly say, no way. Why is Betty the only character that says No?
Alright — a few things:
1) Miss Farrell is not crazy. She may be upfront, forward and very honest in her intentions and motives, but she's not crazy. In fact, her honesty may be the exact thing that attracts Don. Don is routinely, as Connie said, not spoken to plainly and honestly in his life very often. But she does speak and act honestly with Don. We don't know yet what this relationship with Miss Farrell is actually about yet in the broader context of the show. It repulses us, at least at first, because it feels like a digression and character devolution on Don's part. He was supposed to be past this kind of irrational, immature sexual conquest. Thing is, and I'm not rationalizing his behaviour here, is that Don is losing power over his life and identity more and more. His workplace is turning into a difficult, frustrating place. He has a troubling, conflicted relationship with a wife who clearly hates her life. Sometimes when someone has no control or power over their lives, they do irrational things that fall more in line with immature behaviour. Don is doing something irrational, possibly crazy and exceptionally risky. You don't have to defend what Don does, but there's a cause and effect with a person like him, a character as internally conflicted as Don.
2) Matthew Weiner had to go to a place where we hated Don Draper. That's the long and short of it. It's the ultimate risk on part of a creator to make something that an audience will hate, especially after creating something so intensely loved before. The fact is, we all knew going into this show that the deeper we went into Don Draper's psyche, the greater the risk we wouldn't like what we found. That's the mark of an immensely complex character that is Don, the varying shades of grey that make up the man. More to the point, we can't expect Don to succeed in adjusting to all the madness that is 1963 without some scars and damage along the way. He's having the same problem as everyone else. I always knew we were going to find reasons to dislike Don sooner or later.
3) I suspect, eventually, Don Draper will find redemption. We don't know where the rest of this season is going yet, or if there's some massive catastrophe coming. I believe that while we're seeing a very ugly side of Don Draper right now in light of the massive changes hitting him and Sterling Cooper, there's one thing that makes me believe that he can and will be redeemed: he is capable of goodness. He is capable of adjusting to change positively.
As they say, it's always darkest before the dawn. We may be heading down a bleaker path this season with Don, but we shouldn't hate Don. We just have to have the belief that we can see it through with him.
Yeah, yeah, I’m grasping at straws here, people. Work with me on this!
What if Miss Farrell is his soulmate, the earth mother he’s looking for.
Okay . . . um, but I don't think they have much chemistry together. I just don't sense the magic. Betty had more chemistry with Henry (well, some) and quite frankly I'm glad that's over with.
#79 Russen–
Agreed. Betty has been slowly speaking up for herself this season and, after the Don/Bobbie affair discovery, is not going to put up with any more crap. And unless Don dumps Betty, I highly doubt the marriage is going to end. This is the early 60's after all. Divorce was neither commonplace nor socially accepted until the mid 70s. Helen Bishop was a regular pariah. Betty will not get divorced, she will simply get revenge.
And in defense of Betty, while she has her childish moments, she does seem to be maturing this season. Or maybe that's just because I'm comparing her to her trashy husband. Betty seems to be holding herself up a lot better under stress than Don this season.
Don cannot handle his station in life. He's like a kid on a carousel grasping at the brass ring, but is always too short (read: self-loathing) to reach it. How ironic that the pressure he feels from being Dick trying to be Don always drives him back to being Dick, or at least his father's opinion about Dick, when if he'd just be Dick, he'd most likely be at peace.
Maybe the real brass ring is more about "wanting what you have" than "having what you want". But isn't the latter the American way, and what the ad execs have always wanted us to believe? Don/Dick could undo his mess of a life, but he's bought what he himself is selling. Again, the irony!
#82- I like you. Really. Well written and made me take a step back. Thank you.
I also don't think Suzanne is any kind of "bunny boiler." If that had ever happened with any of the men she'd be involved with in Ossining before, she'd have a reputation for that at the very least, and would have lost her job at the worst. She doesn't strike me as being the I-must-possess-you type at all; she's just been treated crappily a lot by married men. She also is nothing like Joy; she works hard, and isn't paid much. I still don't know exactly why she gave in, though; granted that there aren't many single men where she lives, she still isn't all that far from the city, where she could meet more of them.
This show can only be redeemed if:
a) Weiner fires most of the female writers on the staff and gets a serious male perspective in time for the writing of season 4
b) Betty dies before the end of season 3
Where Don's cheating had consequences on his marriage last season… is it possible that in his cheating with Suzanne that SALLY will somehow find out and there will be consequences on his children?
(and by that I mean DIRECT consequences – since the children are affected by his past cheating indirectly)
JoanvsJane (74)
Thanks for the kind words, though it's really a credit to the Lipps for building this forum.
BTW, I think your (73) is probably exactly half-right about Miss Farrell. You reject the notion that she's honest, but I think she is honest in calling out Don on his BS. But I agree with you that it's also her way of flirting with Don — and that she may likely got into a prior, similar relationship the same way. (In fact, when Don says she's been flirting with him, she doesn't deny it; how could she after the drunk dial.)
And I would point out this dynamic to others on the thread who don't see any chemistry between the two, or think Don was forcing himself on Suzanne. All those dads may be wearing the same shirt, but she chose to tangle with (and become entangled with) Don — even if she harbors the reservations about it that Don should be harboring.
honestly, i thought he went over to her place just so he could get some sleep. he was being constantly woken up by the baby and by, probably more often, conrad hilton. didn't betty and him switch places in bed so he could be closer to the phone? (or am i mistaken about their sides of the bed?) anyway, just the shot of don and suzanne in bed afterwards… he looked like he was finally getting some rest.
I think Matt Weiner would be shocked to discover that — as the detail-obsessed auteur of the show — he lacks a serious male perspective.
katie,
I don't think Don went to Suzanne's just to get some sleep. However, I think that — from a symbolic standpoint — the restlessness and insomnia rampant in "Wee Small Hours" is there for a reason, and that shot of Don sleeping peacefully is also there for a reason.
This season is about things breaking. It's probably going to end with the JFK assassination. Whatever redemption is awaiting Don, it certainly won't be happening this season (remember, Don's not even 40 yet). The empire is about to fall, New York is in decline, and the Draper marriage may be over after this season.
I think we're meant to see the Don/Miss Farrell affair as a kind of diminishing of Don. It *is* tawdry. But, Don doesn't care if it is. His boredom from the beginning of season two has metastasized into a kind of full-blown nihilism. Getting back with Betty, the new kid, nothing's satisfied the void that's at his core. In contrast to last season, in the one place where he's had great success–at work–he's cornered and losing power and autonomy. Certainly, while Miss Farrell is a comely diversion, she's not going to fill his emptiness either. In fact, by choosing to be as risky with Miss Farrell as he is, he's indulging a death wish. This is the only way he can run, now.
Don's actions will have consequences, and no, it's not going to be couched in simple moralistic terms–because he's cheating on Betty again, or lashed out at Peggy, or was cruel to Sal. Right now, he's not taking his own advice to limit his exposure. If he gets caught, the marriage is toast, and his reputation, which we know he cares about, will take a hit. I think this is how the season will end.
Good post #93! I think you've nailed the overall theme of the season.
#50, I had the same thought about Henry and Adam's surprise intrusions. Note that in both cases they ended up with money thrown at them. It certainly didn't help things with Adam.
It was a huge WTF moment for me. They're just not interesting to watch together. There's no spark.
Definitely agreeing with you on this one, Deborah. Don is just…creepy…sleeping with her. I think this is an even bigger foible than his thing with Bobbie Barrett.
@ 74 JoanvsJane- Thank you for the compliment *blushing.*
My problem with Don and Miss. Farell is that there's no spark, like there was with Rachel or Bobbie. They had chemistry, and I don't see it with Don and Miss. Farell. I'm not sure if she's crazy, but she is difficult to figure out. Maybe that's why Don's attracted to her, she's a puzzle. It would be interesting to see how Sally reacts if she finds out. She loves Don and I think she'd be willing to keep a secret for him.
Seriously, a 9 year old girl keeping her Dad's cheating on her Mother a secret? That would be terribly emotionally scarring to even an adult child. Let alone in 1963 when the in-tact family was still considered the norm.
Agreed, Aran.
Something like that is NOT about love, not remotely. Sally loves her mother too — you can see it when she watches her in the mirror. She doesn't see her as being cold — it's all she's ever known as her daughter.
# 87 Dirk Funk: The problem with the show is that it doesn't have a "serious male perspective"? What is a serious male perspective, and how would it change the show, exactly?
On a totally unrelated note, I'm curious about something. Why do most viewers strongly dislike Bobbie? I've seen that sentiment here and on other boards, again and again. I get that Don's affair with her wasn't exactly romantic or functional, but I liked her as a character nonetheless. As Cheryl6 says above, she was "kind of awesome." She was aggressive, resilient, smart, powerful–and she had a great smoky voice! What's not to like? I certainly don't think Don should be with her any more–I don't think he should be with anyone–but I wonder why Bobbie gets a lot of derision.
I was wondering the same thing! I really liked her. She was a female Don Draper, for better and for worse, but she KNEW what that was. Jimmy knew too — which, of course, doesn't make her a good _person_ or a good _partner_, but I got the impression that she never lied about her disposition, priorities, or agenda. I loved watching them interact — few people can out-smooth Don when he's at his peak (a mountaintop we haven't seen in a while), and she could do it better than most.
I felt like she unleashed something animalistic in him — took a part of his appeal that he was afraid to acknowledge. She didn't fake any barriers between who she was and who people saw, and Don hated the fact that she tried to take his down. She's not someone who's ever had to couch anything in denial.
I posted this earlier on the wrong thread.
Don was very pushy, like he was not going to take no as an answer from the teacher. Not unlike Pete. We cannot judge Don by his past moves, he seems so much out of control now. One thing I know about people with drinking problems. The out -of-control-ness can be progressive and it takes less to put you in a stupor. The person drinking thinks they can handle the amount they used to and they can’t.
I don’t think he was drinking at the time he knocked on her door but he was drinking earlier in the evening, in fact the moment he walked in the door from work he started, which seems to be his normal ritual.
When he walked into Suzanne’s place and he started walking up to her she had a drink in her hand and she finished it and put the empty glass on the table as he walked up to her. (drinking in the wee hours?) She was drinking the night she called the house when baby Gene was born.
So at least they have something in common
That’s the mark of an immensely complex character that is Don, the varying shades of grey that make up the man.
You know I agree with this statement, but in this season it doesn't apply to Don. My problem with the writing this year is that it is so transparently bleak, and black, black, black in regards to Don, that it doesn't feel like "shades of grey" at all, but a complete "blackwash." The only lighter shades I remember him displaying this year were his compassion for Sally and the nightmares and asking Gene to stay with them. Even with that, he managed to be a right bastard to Betty and William, respectively, during those plot points. Well, maybe you could throw in looking the other way about Sal in Out of Town, but we see how that turned out.
On the "black side" we have everything else he's done this season, and it's pretty damn mean. Betraying Sal, and Peggy and Betty. Being a dick to pretty much everyone he meets, except Connie, who he has to suck up to. And everyone else, all at the same time, noticing that he's a dick and having the glamour wear off. This is clunky, imo, and way too obviously aimed at manipulating viewers' view of Don.
And everyone else, all at the same time, noticing that he’s a dick
You realize how funny that is, right? Everyone starting to notice what a DICK he is? The mask slips off Don, and look, it's a Dick underneath!
Sorry. Bad pun.
@ 102 Sarah M-
"I really liked her. She was a female Don Draper, for better and for worse, but she KNEW what that was".
I liked Bobbie Barrett too. She was Don's equal in just about every way, and they had real chemistry. It was pure sparks and electricity. I thought Bobbie's advice to Peggy was great, even though it took Peggy a few episodes to process what it meant, and lead to the one piece of advice from Joan Peggy listened to.
OK, here's why I don't like Bobbie.
1) She made it sound like Jimmy was totally within his rights to insult Edith Schilling, and didn't give a damn about Edith's feelings or about the awkward situation Jimmy put S-C into with the client. She doesn't even care if S-C loses the account, as long as she and Jimmy get their money. (Not very savvy of her, really; it's not like Jimmy would ever become so popular that he could afford to keep being difficult.)
2) She wouldn't take "no" for an answer when Don didn't want to go to bed with her — she cornered him in a cab in a hailstorm and grabbed his crotch. A less charitable person might even call that "rape."
3) She doesn't give a crap about Jimmy's feelings, either. This obviously wasn't the first time she screwed around behind his back, and Jimmy obviously knew about every one of them and she doesn't care. Yeah, Jimmy may very well deserve her, but still.
None of this is Melinda McGraw's fault; she was very convincing. But Bobbie gives me the creepy crawlies. And I absolutely hated the way Don behaved when he was with her.
#101 — I liked Bobbie a lot, too, for many of the reasons stated here. She was a lot more interesting than Ms. Farrell has shown herself to be and Bobbie fit in more with what I had thought was the milieu of the show — Manhattan, showbiz, smoke & mirrors, chutzpah, self-promotion, ruthlessness.
Whether Suzanne is a kook or a pioneer of the consciousness-raising set, she still seems like a rather pallid foil for Don. A suburban elementary school teacher?
Thanks for the replies, everyone. I had a longer post typed out, but it's been lost to the ether. At any rate, I agree with Sarah M and RetroGirl: what was cool about Bobbie was that she was Don without all the identity confusion, deception, and angst. She did some pretty distasteful things, of course, but so did Don–and Bobbie's actions somehow seemed more honest than Don's. As Sarah M says above, there was no discrepancy between "who she was and who people saw."
Millicent, you bring up an interesting point that hadn't really occurred to me. Bobbie was cool because, well, she was cool–she represented that "Manhattan, showbiz, smoke & mirrors" milieu very well. So I wonder: are we spending too much time in the suburbs this season? Is the show sacrificing that milieu in favor of exploring the horrors of the Draper family home? I've always been very sympathetic to Betty and I really like Sally, but something's got to give. . . . And I guess the Ms. Farrell affair will keep the storyline in the suburbs even longer.
I'd welcome Bobbie back!
after hating Bobbie for like forever, I rewatched her episodes on the season 2 dvd, and cant help but fall in love with her. she is disgusting at some points, but she is also a strong woman who has her independence even when she is married. to best sum her up she wants what she wants when she wants it. She is like Don, but without the identity crisis and bullshit lying. What you see is what you get. I also started to like her because she kept their affair secret. They went to fancy hotels and ate lunch at fancy but secluded restaurants. However she really didnt keep it a secret when she went to his office and probably offered him a bit of oral sex, thats when we see Joan turn her head and look away immediately, she knew very well what was going on.
But, in the end she didnt want Don to divorce Betty, or maybe the cut that storyline out. She was not like Rachel who wanted Don to divorce Betty and run away with her. She wanted a conquest and that conquest was Don. Nothing more, nothing less. In the end Don ended being the piece of ass, not Bobbie being the piece ass. Suzanne looks a bit crazy if you ask me, and no I dont mean crazy as fatal attraction crazy, but a crazy leave everything behind and lets run away, in which Don the pussy that he is will bail out which will cause Suzanne to tell Betty or the other parents. Thats my theory on that. But to make a long story short, Bobbie was Don's equal maybe a bit more superior from Don, because Bobbie was happy in her life, Don is not happy with anything. Sometimes I think it is never going to click with Don, he is meant to be alone, because of his selfishness, greed, lust, and above all his lies!
and Sally keeping a secret of the affair is really messed up. She will probably be heartbroken, and of course she would probably tell her mother!
I have been Sally Draper and you'd be surprised what secrets children keep.
Joan vs. Jane, I doubt Sally would keep that a secret. She truly loved Ms. Farrell as a teacher, and to see her Dad betray her mother, I am sorry but that is heartbreaking, and if she does keep the secret it wont be a secret for long. She will eventually tell her Mother once she realizes papa Don isnt coming home.
[...] the Lipp Sisters are pissed that Don slept with Suzanne. I can’t say that I feel the same way. I mean, I’d [...]
[...] spent Season 3 seeking something pure. It’s part of the reason I objected so much to the “romance” with Suzanne Farrell; seeking after something pure can, itself, have [...]