It’s the 1960′s. Not much happens to you, if you’re a kid: it’s not your world.
But in the space of a single day, you lose the person who saw you “ saw right through to who you were: what you did wrong and what you could do well. The one who listened to you, took your side, gave you a role, and occasionally treated you as a partner in crime died today, and it is as if that place he made for you in the world was never there.
You are angry. You don’t understand that you feel this way because no one is coming to help you get ready for bed. You miss your grandfather, whose presence used to be part of your bedtime ritual. To you, he was never an obstacle; he actually made things better for you. So now, what you feel is not your own pain “ but outrage.
You have something to say to your parents, aunt and uncle. It takes all your courage to stand there and say it.
Why are you laughing?
I heard you, I heard you laughing.
How could you be sitting there
like nothing’s happening?
Like he’s not
GONE?
He was here, now
He’s not here
He’s gone forever, and nobody
even knows that. He’s dead
And he’s never coming back.
He’s DEAD, and nobody cares
That he’s really,
really
really GONE.
You don’t care what they say to you. “Sweetheart, we weren’t laughing,” (they were), “you’re being hysterical” (and you’re eating my peach). You don’t even care if you get punished, but one look at them tells you they can’t even do that. Are they afraid of you? Have they forgotten who you are?
You have forgotten nothing. You see them clearly. They can’t take care of you. They won’t even so much as try.
From where you have been told to go, that spot on the carpet in front of the TV, you finally see things as they are. A man somewhere else in the world set himself on fire today. You are not even ten years old yet, but something tells you what that man must have felt. Things are going wrong. The people who should be taking care of things, can’t … or won’t.
Do you remember? If you do, when did you first feel this?
55 Responses to “Sally Draper: Rage and the World Gone Sideways”
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I sometimes still feel, being a bit younger than the Sally character would be if she were real – and around today, that my mother treats me (and many of her 8 kids upon occasion) like this. Dad died two years ago…and it was just recently, in a moment of something-or-other (weakness? clarity?) she said "I never even thought about the pain of my kids at losing their father".
No, you didn't, but thanks for finally noticing. But, we've had to find our own ways to cope with emotional episodes since..oh, forever.
So to see Sally like that, well, it spoke to me as the adult I now claim to be…very powerful and true.
On the AMC site in the photo galleries they have 2 pics up from ep 5 and one is an absolutely adorable pic of Don and Sally eating together with smiles on their faces. Looking at it you would never know that all is not well in Sally's world. I hope it means that Don will be spending more time with her.