Ah! Sweet mystery of life
At last I’ve found thee.
Ah! I know at last the secret of it all!
All the longing, seeking, striving, waiting, yearning.
The burning hopes, the joy and idle tears that fall.
Dancewosleeping wrote:
I’ve been lurking on this site for months and have always been afraid to write you all set a high caliber of commentary and observation. But I feel I HAVE to comment on Sal.
I am SO blown away by both the level of writing and the brilliance of the acting in this storyline! Even though I’m not a gay man, I am a gay woman, and I understand Sal. He goes through life not getting what everyone else is so excited about because he doesn’t feel it. So he puts on an act and goes through the motions of what he, as a straight, woman-loving, man is SUPPOSED to say and act. He knows that something isn’t right because he doesn’t understand what all the other guys are getting worked up about, but doesn’t know enough to be able to name it (which echoes back to the discussion about Joan not knowing to call it rape). So he gets married. So he makes jokes about women. So he looks at Playboys.I went through my high school and college going out with men, kissing men, sleeping with men, and all the while asking “is that all there is”? Why don’t I feel what everyone else is raving about? And that moment when I first kissed a woman“OMG I still get weak-kneed and thump-hearted remembering it“that moment of AWARENESS, of being fully IN my own skin. It’s nothing short of an epiphany, in the most literal sense of that word. So watching Bryan Batt’s face tonightwatch closely on the next viewing(cuz we all know we’ll watch this episode at least another 3 times!) and see if you can count all the emotions shown in the space of about 5 seconds. Need, awareness, acceptance, knowledge, lust, maturity, joy, just for starters.
And I could just cry for Sal. Because Pandora’s box has been opened, and he can NEVER go back to walking through his life in a fog(pun intended). He’s just gotten a taste of cake with frosting“how can he ever go back to what, to him, is dry toast.
Welcome, Dancewosleeping. You had nothing to fear in posting here. I think this is one of the best things I’ve ever read on BoK!
The post was in response to a comment on the Out of Town Open Thread:
The sex scenes were totally over the top. I felt like i was watching the show “jump the shark” before my eyes when the bell hop is reaching down Sal’s underpants pants. Show some respect for the audience, especially the gays in the audience who might resent the fact that Sal was reduced in an instant into the stereotypical gay man looking for a non-relational, anonymous sexual encounter. One of the great things about Sal is that he is a man with character, commitment, and relationships. We’ve followed the show for two years and deserve more than gay fantasy erotica. What a let down. I guess they may try to chalk it up to the fact that the boys were out of town and so “what happens in Baltimore stays in Baltimore”, but I don’t buy it. It was cheap and I hope they can do better than that in the episodes to come.
I think one of the best things about what the Lipp Sisters have created is that we regularly have this great discussions and respectful debates. I can see how the scene could be viewed as “gay fantasy erotica,” but I ultimately responded to it in much the same way as Dancewosleeping. I don’t see it as existing for mere titillation any more than I see Don’s many bull at stud scenes in that light. This is a sexy show with gorgeous people; when they do “the nasty” it’s easy to enjoy it on a very superficial level.
A sex scene on Mad Men is rarely just a sex scene though.
Sal’s scene with the bellhop, in my opinion, was one of the best scenes ever on a show that is known for extraordinary scenes. Not only was it something that was years in the making, but it was also this amazing moment of liberation. Seeing this as just a sexual moment would be like seeing the scene in Brokeback Mountain when Ennis grabs Jack Twist and bruisingly kisses him after years apart as an an example of mere cupidity. These are all men who have hungered and thirsted for something they aren’t supposed to want. This is about cool water in a desert, ambrosia in the midst of famine.
Sal was not looking for a fling, we saw that in season 1. He never would have went looking or been the aggressor. What happened occurred because someone else took the upper hand — in a hotel room! Don, for the record, was not the instigator of his date either, but the different reactions said it all. Don made a decision to be seduced, just as he did with Bobbi last season, and countless times before. While we know some of Don’s needs are not being met in his relationship, Sal’s in a whole different catagory of unfulfilled.
Don, a heterosexual man, has had countless moments of connection with women — both physically and emotionally. He can’t sustain intimacy, seems unable to have a complete relationship with his wife, but he’s known moments of sharing and vulnerability with Betty and Rachel and perhaps others.
Salvatore Romano has never, as far as we know, been able to share himself with a man. He has been unable to be fulfilled in all the many ways most people take for granted. Imagine your first real kiss, the one that made your toes curl, and imagine it being delayed by decades. Sal has spent his life doing his best to find happiness by denying his nature. Then, suddenly, he doesn’t have to lie for another second, at least not for a while. He can be himself with this man. At last, at last, he gets to experience a little of what most people around him experience regularly. The look on his face is sexual, but it’s also the look of a man who is unable to take this moment for granted, because it’s never happened before and might never happen again.
The question is now if Sal can go back to Kitty and be a faithful husband. I semi-jokingly said elsewhere that this will end with Kitty doing her own version of Alma’s outburst of, “Don’t try and fool me no more, Ennis; I know what it means! Jack Twist. Jack Nasty! You didn’t go up there to fish!” Matt Weiner is smart enough to thwart our most educated guesses on what will happen next — he’s done it before — but he’s also astute enough to know that Sal’s nature will never allow him to be happy in his relationship, and that means that his wife and possible children are vulnerable in ways they can’t even know.
AMC’s latest slogan assures us that “Story Matters Here” and I do believe that, with the help of Matthew Weiner, Bryan Batt, and the cast and crew of Mad Men, that there is a hell of a story to be told ! Is it too early to speculate on next year’s Emmys?
45 Responses to “Ah! Sweet Mystery of Life!”
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Bryan Batt was amazing and I agree that the scene was not gratuitous in any way. Just because it was HOT HOT HOT doesn't mean it wasn't also poignant, frustrating, exhilarating, funny (the pen!) and extremely important for the character. We needed to see all of Sal's reactions to what he was experiencing, and so we needed to know what was actually happening physically. (Similar to showing so much of Betty's quickie – the audience needed to know that she went through with it.)
Kudos to everyone on Mad Men and to the authors of this post.
Yes, yes yes! Perfectly put, Ms. Darkly. Thanks again to Dancewosleeping for her contribution!
Heh, and am I the only one to immediately hear Madeline Khan singing "Sweet Mystery of Life"?
You could say it was only an accident that the same bellboy came up to fix his air conditioner. But as we know from watching MM, there are no accidents on the show. The bellman must have noted his room number and when the call came in to the front desk volunteered to go upstairs. don't think Sal called down on false pretenses: he was drunk, after all, and had just heaved himself onto the bed.
I thought Bryan Batt deserved an Emmy nomination for that scene. We the audience know he has never allowed himself to open up to a man before — he's been propositioned and reacted in horror, he had a little crush of his own that was safely hidden away. Now, he finally, finally got to open the door and could be honest with himself for probably the first time. And it terrified him to be found out. Wow, what a season this is going to be.
@3 I know I keep going back to Brokeback, but Alma's initial reaction to seeing Ennis and Jack kiss is to act as if she saw nothing. It was only after she divorced and remarried that she confronted him. I can see that for Kitty too — not having the words, maybe feeling it's too shameful to even discuss.
@4 Just agreeing with you all over the place.
@5 Would like some insight on this too. I've heard people call it Gaydar, heard that maybe it was standard for men to make excuses for other men to come up, heard that when Sal pulled out the money it might have verified to the bell hop that Sal had just made an excuse, but I don't actually know definitively what was the trigger.
The Belle Jolie guy in season 1 seemed to know about Sal, but I've also heard that his inviting Sal to the hotel in the first place might have been a code that Sal probably had missed.
It could be gaydar in the sense that Sal is obvious to modern audiences from the very first episode, even while his co-workers are oblivious — a gay man then might simply be attuned to it in the way that most of us are today.
But looking forward to other comments.
@7 — nah, I heard it too while I was composing the post. That scene is sorta the straight version of the Sal scene — you know, one less schwanzstucker.
Voof.
I agree: the Salvatore sex scene is hot blooded, because it takes into account the physical and the emotional. It's fresh and heartbreaking.
Don's is coldblooded — an exercise, dull from repetition, for him.
For her, also not so much passion, as an exercise in maybe playing a last little bit at being "bad" before marriage.
Not much emotion, each of them dawdling, and in no particular hurry.
Whereas Salvatore and the bell boy leap into their connection, and the range of emotions flash by in seconds with electric currency.
Can I also add how wonderfully Mad-Menesque this moment for Sal is? In any other show the Belle Jolie flirtation, the crush on Ken, and probably a half-dozen more incidents, would have led up to this revelation for Sal, and it wouldn't have been half as good. Instead, Matt gives us just a few glimpses of the pain, denial and repression Sal is living with, but lets them stew over 2 seasons and as many years. For a long-time viewer and fan, Sal's moment was almost as gratifying to us as is was to him
@5 Would like some insight on this too. I’ve heard people call it Gaydar, heard that maybe it was standard for men to make excuses for other men to come up, heard that when Sal pulled out the money it might have verified to the bell hop that Sal had just made an excuse, but I don’t actually know definitively what was the trigger.
Oh, it was definitely gaydar, Ms. Darkly. The awkwardness in the elevator ain't got nothing to do with who's wearing a uniform; there was clearly, if not a connection, at least a recognition by the bellhop of the difference between Sal and Don. Whether he intentionally went up to Sal's room for the call is one of those mysteries of MM that we can and will ponder for days. But the moment he approaches Sal is also key. By deliberately standing that close and violating Sal's personal space, he's testing him. If Sal were a typical straight man, he'd take a step back, or make a comment, or gesture to get the bellhop to move back. Instead Sal hesitated, and the pheremones took over from there.
Thanks for the welcome everyone! Can you believe I've been reading this site since Season 1?
@9: Ms D, my male gaydar is almost non-existent (about as useless as an appendix for me!) but I completely caught the look the bellhop gave him in the elevator. And even tho Sal looked half-passed-out, he made a comment about uniforms…
@7: I heard it too–literally! YF is my wife's fave Mel Brooks movie, and she was singing it after that scene!
@4: I was hooked on QAF too, and I agree, this was WAYY hotter than any of the graphic stuff they had (except for that threesome Lindsay and Melanie had, but I digress).
Ha, I have to go back and watch the elevator scene. Apropos of nothing
, when I started watching the episode I had a full bottle of wine, and when it ended I had an empty bottle. I'm sure that it's because the bottle was smaller than I supposed and because my husband also had half a glass, and I'm sure that the small, tiny, minuscule bottle of wine in no way made me miss any looks on the elevator — but, still, I'll go back and watch again. 
Bryan Batt was AMAZING! It was like he suddenly became a kid. I also loved how Sal says it's "stagnant" in the room. When he made the call I was feeling so bad for him and thinking that was such a weird choice of words but it was so apt for poor Sal. I just loved the contrast with Don's hookup. It reflected so much on how weary Don is. Plus you're so disappointed in Don, then there's Sal who has been such a good boy and you just feel so happy for him.
I cheered when Sal and the bellboy kissed. And I wanted to throw something at the TV when the fire alarm went off. But it was classic Mad Men and I wouldn't have it any other way. It was played perfectly by BB. The fear, uncertainty, arousal, excitement and then the panic when he saw Don. Having watched the show from the start, it's incredibly satisfying when a long story arc takes the kind of turn you've been hoping for for so long.
Awesome post, Ms. D!
I want to say again: welcome to Dancewosleeping. It’s true: Story matters at AMC, and certainly on Mad Men.
And here on the Basket, you will find that people’s stories matter. We love them. Thank you, Dance, for sharing yours.
Thanks Anne!
I just saw a post from Meowser (#13) in Deborah’s Out of Town Review comments that echoes some of my remarks in my post:
**But yeah, as great as it all was, Sal (and Bryan Batt!) pretty much stole the episode. It’s never been made clear until now that Sal is a “virgin†when it comes to men, but contrast his encounter with Don’s and it becomes obvious. Don goes into his seduction bit with Shelly like he’s already swallowed the canary; if this one doesn’t put out, he can find another one who will in five minutes at the hotel bar, and he knows it. Sal, on the other hand, has that look on his face like, “OH MY GOD IT’S REALLY HAPPENING FINALLY.†I thought he might splooge into his pants when he has to put them back on!**
HA! Yeah, I got the feeling it might get “messy” too.
I love how we both picked up on the differences between Don’s date and Sal’s unexpected date.
If and when she finds out, Kitty will be deeply hurt, angry and confused and will have a very hard time wrapping her mind around it. She has nothing in her background to help her understand it, and will probably feel she has “failed” somehow as a woman. However she may also have an “aha” moment where all the little things that felt odd in her relationship with Sal suddenly make a kind of sense. I would hope they would stay together until Sal’s mother dies (the only other woman in his life, who most certainly would not accept it), then eventually go their separate ways. Best outcome would for them to remain friends, but that’s a lot to ask of Kitty, and will take more time than we’ll ever see unless Mad Men runs into the 80s or later.
I'm just praying that Weiner and co. will continue on with Sal exploring his sexuality. Sorry, Kitty, you're going down, and that's tragic, but the possibility of Sal letting loose is delicious. Think about the dramatic possibilities inherent in this man, now clued in on what he wants, having to come into himself so covertly. Think about how easily he could slip off to one of the multitudes of gay bars in Greenwich Village or the "bird circuit" in the East 50s…and speaking of which, when playing on Google I came across this snippet of the poem "Homosexuality" by Frank O'Hara, aka Mr. Meditations On An Emergency:
of the latrines. 14th Street is drunken and credulous,
53 rd tries to tremble but is too at rest. The good
love a park and the inept a railway station,
and there are the divine ones who drag themselves up
Sal, drag yourself up! Start living the life you were meant to lead, you can never go back. I have to wonder with this show, the way they do things you don't expect, maybe Sal and Kitty will come to some sort of arrangement, tacit or explicit. There are many gay men, even today, living with women who know their husbands have covert activities, but either don't ask or don't care.
Not that he'd need it, but I even have a perfect point of entry for Weiner into the bar scene; look at this March 1963 article in Harper's magazine that specifically names gay bars and gay areas of NYC:
http://bitterqueen.typepad.com/history_of_gay_bar…
What if Sal saw the piece and it gave him ideas? With an article like that as his guidebook, Sal could do a lot.
Thank you, thank you, thank you Ms. Darkly for highlighting that comment and this moment in the premiere. As a gay man, I can tell you Dancewosleeping nailed it perfectly. It is something a straight person can probably never really totally understand. When your culture not only directs you away from your identity, but teaches you everything about that identity is wrong…well, let’s just say it’s a wake-up call (all hotel puns intended) to find out how good it can feel.
I liked that the scene was furtive and secret and a bit shameful to Sal (just look at his face when he gets down to the street, and when Don first begins talking to him on the plane home), because that’s what it was like for closeted men in the 60s, particularly ones as deeply in denial as Sal.
But it was also one of the hottest, if not THE hottest, male/male sex scenes I’ve seen in mass market media, and I used to watch Queer as Folk. And it wasn’t hot because there were simply two hot guys going at it, but because Bryan Batt is such a damn good actor that you saw the years of repressed passion and longing move across his face and through his body. (Aside: I am so pissed I missed his interview on the satellite gay radio station – OutQ – today. Damn those work meetings – I am trying to locate an audio copy of it).
I’ve know Catholic couples of that generation who stayed married, with an understanding, even after one spouse came out, and seemed perfectly happy to do so.
I can’t help wondering – since the air conditioner wasn’t really broken, did the bellhop assume Sal had called him up under false pretenses, for other reasons? Or did he just act on his own attraction? I guess it doesn’t matter to the story either way; it’s just the sort of thing I wonder.
I feel that I gain insight into different mindsets whenever I read this blog. Joyce, thank you for that link.
Thank you, Dance for your post, because it's very open, honest and truthful about how allowing your true self to experience what it's been denied for so long, can truly be overwhelming in all aspects.
It's so interesting to find out that the early 60's really were not "so innocent". There's the false sense of naivety that's been passed down to younger generations of this country.
I'm so glad that I discovered this show on a lazy and rainy summer day in 2007.
Poor Kitty, though. In Gold Violin, it was obvious that she had no idea which way her husband really leaned. No idea at all. She probably thinks, "We're not going to have much sex with his mother around, oh well." And who knows, maybe sex is not that important to her. But I would imagine having a husband who doesn't wish he was somewhere else is important to her. Important enough for her to dump him when she finds out? In those days, a lot of women with closeted-gay husbands didn't kick them out, at least not right away.
In gay communities at that time, and anywhere where queerness or sexuality are sublimated to a large extent, queer people have to recognize eachother in an instant. It's a skill one hones, in order to keep yourself out of trouble, but also in order to find community, sexual partners, and friends.
Look up Fire Island, Cherry Grove, (two historically queer havens in New York) and other queer history in the US in the 20th century, they are so fascinating and they will provide lots of context for what it was like to be queer in New York in the '60s. I particularly recommend Marijane Meaker's memoir "Highsmith: A Romance of the 1950s". It's a biography of the lesbian romance between two pulp authors in the 50s and 60s, in New York and Fire Island. It's wonderful, especially if you're a fan of Meaker's or Pat Highsmith's work (Strangers on a Train, Talented Mr. Ripley series).
Oh, and Ms. Darkly, I enjoy this post even more now that I know the Madeline Khan/Young Frankenstein reference was intentional!
Aw, Dimples, thanks! I spent a good half hour on that post last night when I should have been working/sleeping. Telling that I want to give my work short shrift yet give the Basketcases my best. Have been a longtime obsessive reader of this blog, yet rarely comment because I seldom feel I can add anything to the points of view already expressed so brilliantly. In this case, I have a bit of a thing for early '60s pulp novels and a lot of them focus on the "subterranean world" of gay bar culture, particularly in the Village, which seems to be a bit of a touchstone for readers in need of titillation.
Another thing: I would LOVE to see Weiner subvert the classic "gay bay in the Village" stereotype by showing some of the more discreet upscale gay bars around NYC that a guy with a good job and things to hide like Sal might frequent…maybe contrast that with the burgeoning scene of bars that cater to "rough trade," and maybe even the very first peep shows/porn arcades in Times Square that had a heavily closeted gay male presence and were run by the Mob.
Sam Fleischman may become the new Don Draper.
I appreciate the varied perspectives. Personally, I'm hoping for a more complex story arch for Kitty and Sal. Life goes on, even after Baltimore. Sal still loves his wife and his wife loves him. However it goes, I have confidence that Matt and co. will be great. I just hope it isn't a statement about queer life but simply Sal's story.
I wondered about the bellhop as soon as I saw him, because he looked an awful lot like Sal Mineo. I can't help but think the resemblence is deliberate.
#9 Ms Darkly I didn't think for one moment that Sal mistook the Belle Jolie guy at all. He was tempted but his fear of being caught and losing everything overwhelmed him. I find Sal has a bit of a prim side which was like a girdle on his lust. I think Sal just burnt his girdle and the acceptance from Don (unspoken of course) has him thinking. If it's 1963 then I think the British Invasion hasn't happened yet and I wonder what will happen as all the supportive garments are chucked in favor of loose clothing and the evolving change in gender roles and sexual rules.
Now to Kitty. She's an innocent but product of her times. How this younger woman reacts if she ever finds out about Sal interests me. When I was much younger I came from a background where gay bashing would have been accepted and the racism and sexism not quiet. As a young woman I was afraid to look past what I was told (grew up in the 70's) but as I got older and watched how people acted I formed opinions of my own one of them being if two adult people love each other, who am I or anyone else to hate them for it(sorry Mom, you can't change my mind). If the character of Kitty suffers because of Sal I won't put all the blame on Sal. He was hiding and I see that he loves Kitty and may have children with her. Sal just isn't attracted to his wife in the expected way, but the 60's did start the change in how we all looked at everything. If Kitty is hurt it won't be just Sal responsible but the society they live in which enforced rigid gender roles. This situation could be a tragedy or a loving compromise.
I just want to say, WOW. What an amazing scene, and what amazing insights. I too have been reading the Basket since Season 1, but have always been too shy to post. I've been waiting so long for Sal to finally get his share of happiness, that I can't resist.
Something that always struck me about The Gold Violin is how much Sal cared about Kitty's feelings. Even without knowing what to call his crush on Ken, perhaps, I think Sal always knew he didn't, and couldn't, love her. His expression upon hearing that Kurt is gay in The Jet Set confirms that he did have some awareness of his sexual preference, even if he didn't want to recognize it. And yet, going back to The Gold Violin, as soon as Kitty asks, "Do you even see me here?" Sal is immediately contrite. And I don't think that's because he is ashamed of his crush, or at least not entirely because of it. I think it's because, as someone who does feel like he doesn't belong, he is very sensitive to her complaint that she didn't belong at that dinner table.
I always compared it to how Don reacts when Betty confronts him. He gets angry, insults Betty, and goes off to sulk, essentially telling her that she has no right to complain about his behavior. Sal was the exact opposite. He was sincerely sorry, and, to make up for it, allowed her to experience some peace and quiet as he gave her dessert and washed the dishes. Through Batt's impressive acting we can see that Sal genuinely does want to make Kitty happy, at least with these superficial things, because he knows that he will never be the full husband she needs/wants.
Because of this I have a hard time believing that he's going to turn into the gay Don Draper, going to bars while Kitty is asleep, with barely a second thought for her feelings. He is too empathic to do that to someone. The tragedy of the situation, though, is that someone is going to get hurt. I hope it is, as Rufus says, a loving compromise.
@26: Thank you! I've been trying to figure out who the bellboy reminded me of since Sunday!
@28: Very insightful…the wife and I were discussing that scene in regards to Kitty. She's sitting at that table completely shut out from what's going on, and she feels the "vibe" from her husband, and the only thing she can connect it to is being "shut out" from their work.
This whole episode was a meditation on fresh vs jaded…on respect vs selfishness…
Good article! I think I can recall a scene from future episodes in which Kitty is dressed in a negligee, trying to seduce Sal. I can only wonder what will happen in that particular scene.
Sometimes, I think that Sal would have been better off working in Hollywood as an art director or designer, not as an actor. As an actor, he would have been forced to continue his charade as a heterosexual. But in another profession, I doubt that he would have been forced to maintain such a charade. The Hollywood community has always been aware of who was gay, straight or bisexual for nearly a century. And whereas the actors and actresses – especially if they were well known – were forced to maintain charades about their sexual preferences, non-actors weren't. Actually, some homosexuals did hide their sexual orientation – like director Vincent Minnelli and costume designer Adrian. And some like director George Cukor or former actor-turned interior designer William Haines did not. Men like Cukor and Haines didn't flaunt it or wear a pin stating their preferences, but they didn't hide it either.
If Sal had ended up in Hollywood, he still could have hidden his homosexuality. But I think it would have been up to how courageous he was willing to be.
#28 Agree that you have wonderful insight on Kitty and Sal's relationship – the contrast with Don's mulishness is undeniable. But there were so many men who DID love their wives, but they longed so much for a real sexual and emotional connection that they would indeed steal out to the bars, hoping their wives could never know, and maybe someday they could stop.
For a great exploration of the phenomenon of the straight woman married to a gay guy, I highly recommend Far From Heaven with Julieanne Moore and Dennis Quaid. The film is by Director/Writer Todd Haynes and is done in the style of the 50s melodramas made famous by Douglas Sirk.
It is also wonderful to see how nearly everyone here understands how important this moment was to Sal and to the development of the character. Over at the Mad Men blog, there are a few, but not too many, really homophobic comments about how certain people will stop watching the show because it is "gay porn," etc. I am glad we may be Basketcases, but we're still decent to one another.
Just a small thing since I think gaydar is such an intuitive sense, but in the elevator scene there is a moment after the bellhop leaves when the camera shows Sal's hands in front of him with a wedding ring and a pinkie ring…very much a 'sign' back then. If this means anything then Sal by wearing the pinkie ring knows who he is, but has not perhaps acted on it. I look forward to where MW is going to take this story, but in reality happiness as a professional gay man back then will be elusive…having to feel you have to stay hidden rather than 'come out' takes sooo much energy. Being in the artistic scene might help enormously…
I don't think I saw this linked anywhere else on the site, so here's a link to Bryan Batt and Matt Weiner discussing Sal's role in the season premiere. It's chock full of wonderful insight and titillating clues!
http://www.nola.com/tv/index.ssf/2009/08/bryan_ba…
@34 Great article. Thank you so much for posting it. I love the way Matt describes things and it makes me look fwd to the season that much more.
I've been reading this blog for a while now, but this was the first time I've felt compelled to add to the great discourse here.
Sal's storyline has screamed true to me since the beginning. It is not just a look at a more conservative, less accepting time, but a look into the human condition that still resonates today.
I was born many years after the show takes place. Nevertheless, as a young man who, like Sal in his time "did not register with the rest of society," so much of my experience growing up was spent keeping up appearances, all while longing and aching desperately for this intangible thing I knew was out there but was unable to describe. In some ways, the pain of longing became tinged with pleasure; watching Sal invite Ken over and make everything -perfect- in The Gold Violin brought about those memories of developing intense crushes/friendships with those I knew were unattainable (i.e. straight), even while dating women. I understood his treatment of Kitty – I've been there, done that. I agree with all of those here who have said that Sal wants to be the full husband, he just can't.
As Dancewosleeping so eloquently elaborates, the scene with the bellhop masterfully captures that moment so many gay men and women have when everything clicks – in that instant, in addition to the pure passion, it's as if you've discovered an entirely new range of emotions. In the few seconds of the scene, you literally see Sal go through them.
Thank you to the writers for capturing this bit of human experience in such a great show. Thanks for taking the time to do it justice. It is a revelation to see it and say "yeah, I see myself in this!"
On another note, I am curious to see if the writers will deal with Joan's lesbian roomate – who, after feeling that same longing as Sal, actually had the courage to speak the truth and was shot down.
I'm also a longtime dedicated reader who's rarely posted–but I'm really surprised at something that seems to be missing. I agree that it was an amazing scene, extremely sexy, and an amazing performance by Bryan Batt–how long was the scene in total, a minute? And yet there was so much going on there. And as a gay man, I totally recognized those feelings.
But there's one thing that made the scene especially heartbreaking for me, that no one here is talking about (though I think it was referenced in a different thread; if so, my apologies)…that bellboy was a hustler, period. There wasn't a real connection made there. That bellboy had developed gaydar by being a sexy young guy working in a hotel and realizing that certain men were willing to pay him for sexual favors. He had his eye on Sal, not vice versa. As soon as Sal's wallet came out–and he was close enough to see that there were big bills in there–he made his move. It's absolutely true to the period, and way way more plausible than some random deeper connection. Frankly, when they started kissing, my thoughts were, hooray Sal! and, oh God, he's going to end up blackmailed or beaten up or both.
What makes it especially tragic–and so true to the period–is that Sal's first experience with a man was with someone who just wanted to get paid. Think about how much that would warp you. Poor Sal. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. This isn't going to lead him up to some nice Upper East Side bar, but out to the piers on the West Side.
#31 I completely agree with you. I didn't mean to imply that I believe Sal should remain faithful to Kitty and deny his own happiness. I hope Sal finds the courage and strength to love himself for who he is, and chase that happiness wherever it may lead him. I just meant to say that I think he will do this in a way that will take Kitty into consideration, rather than throw her out of the equation.
#37 You are so right about the bellboy being a hustler! The look of hunger in the bellboy's eyes is completely about the money. As I watched the episode again last night I was trying to see what happened to Sal's moneyclip as they started kissing. You can't see Sal put it back in his pocket, and yet it's not in his hand when he gets up to put his pants on as the fire alarm blares. Did the bellboy manage to swipe it as they got dressed? Or did he simply drop it to the floor? Also, because the encounter was cut short, do you think Sal knows the bellboy was a hustler? If he'd never had any experience with it, and the bellboy never had a chance to demand payment, it's possible that Sal is blissfully ignorant…
While I'm sure it was there more as a way to show the bellhop coming into the frame, I loved the shot of Sal's feet as a contrast to Don's in the opening scene.
Don was vulnerable, lost in his memories, in a rare moment of allowing himself to think about his true identity. Sal's feet were shod; he still had on his outer covering, his armor. His raincoat.
Oh, yeah, agreed on the hustler thing, but that seemed to secondary to me compared with the other stuff. Anyhow, Sal is attractive and I'm sure there are worse things the guy's done to earn a dollar.
Of course, the ultimate hope for Sal is love, but before that is acceptance I'd think. Exploration.
@#37 Jeff Thanks for your comment. I would have never considered that possibility. Sal may have really been saved by the bell. If he had been beaten robbed or threatened by the bellhop after the encounter, would everybody be raving about the scene and cheering him on? At any rate I still think the scene was too graphic. But I'm a prude.
I strongly disagree with the hustler theory. Actually, I think it kind of degrades the encounter. The bellboy had a job. Just because he jumped on a hot guy he could sense was gay, that does not mean he was a hustler. These kinds of rushed, heated encounters did happen because of the way homosexual expression was severely repressed at the time. It WAS a dirty secret, though it should not have been.
I think the money clip thing was an excuse to have a shot looking at Sal's feet, and to have that visual thematic echo. He was getting the bellboy a tip. And then they did that brilliant shot, and it's reveal of the bellboy just standing there, challenging him.
Maybe if they had been on the street or in a bar, if he had been properly seduced or come-on to, it could be more plausibly a hustler situation. But I think if that were the situation it would have been made a bit more explicit.
I am extremely confident that if you asked Matt Weiner about it, he would say the bellboy was just looking for a good time; not a quick buck.
I don't think we know. If I found out he wasn't a hustler I wouldn't fall over from the shock. Sal is attractive and so, even if he is a hustler, he wasn't hating his "job." There's also a possibility that he's not a hooker (heh), but that he is on the make and takes it where he finds it. His motivation is just sorta irrelevant to me though.
The bellhop is probably, IMHO, not a "hustler" in the true sense of the term. He is not pimping himself out and expecting payment even before the encounter. Instead, I am guessing he has figured out a way to get extra "tips" from frustrated closeted men who journey to the hotel. He knew Sal was going to give him a tip just for fixing the AC – can you imagine the tip he would have gotten for an even more important "adjustment" (sorry, couldn't resist).
cpt, what a cynic, but I bet you're correct. Just a whore in a bell hop uniform!!