I’ve been writing about how characters changed and stayed the same between Seasons 1 & 2. So let’s talk about Betty. Obviously Betty was angrier in Season 2, and we’ve spent many thousands of words on that subject, but I just thought of a lovely example.
Season 1: Marriage of Figaro, the Drapers throw a party. Roberta writes:
I love that Don and Betty are fine. Through the entire morning of the party, when it is so obvious to us, because we are culturally informed, that every time Betty mentions the cake or any other chore, (and later the movie camera), she is actually freaking out and really wants to lunge, she remains sweet and composed. And with every request from Betty, we know that Don is a pressure cooker. But he never shows it.
Fine. They’re fine. Betty may seethe inside, but even when Don comes home late and drunk, all she says is “I don’t know what to say.”
Season 2: A Night to Remember, the Drapers throw a party. Fix the fucking chair, Don. Never mind, I handled it.
Betty handles a difficult repair herself
9 Responses to “Two parties”
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LOL.
I think this was my favorite Betty moment — even more so than when she was shooting the pigeons, although that was fantastic too. What amused me most about the whole scene is it took her about a million whacks to finally break the chair, despite her rage. All while the children watched in shock and horror.
That illustartion is hilarious…I love it. I love how her kids were staring at her the whole time she smashes it. I predict Betty will just keep getting more explosive. She can't help herself.
In about 1958 or 1959 I watched my father destroy a kitchen chair in much the same manner as Betty.
Ah, 1950s, early '60s, marriage!
(Although I think when a man does it, in front of the wife and kids, it had different import — see, I can hurt you, too, if you don't behave the way I want you to.)
I believe Betty's anger was out of frustration with Don, and says much about her parenting skills (not) that she allowed the children to see her rage, and wonder in their vulnerability if they were next.
I loved the chair-breaking scene. The matched set of dining chairs, with one leg out of joint, was such a great symbol for the Drapers' "perfect" suburban marriage. And when the party came along and there was one slightly mismate chair, it was such a beautiful illustration of how Don and Betty hold things together in front of the public. (Although the math doesn't quite make sense, as Duck showed up without a date. Maybe Betty found another wobbly chair after the cut. It was still great.)
And Judy, I still have a vivid memory of my mother doing something similar with a dishwasher rack in the '70's.
"(Although I think when a man does it, in front of the wife and kids, it had different import — see, I can hurt you, too, if you don’t behave the way I want you to.)"
Actually, it's domestic violence experts who assert that men breaking large things in front of the wife and kids is a form of emotional abuse, for the reason I stated above.
Although in Betty's case, I extrapolated that it would only be those smaller and physically vulnerable — the kids — who might internally take on the message, whether or not that's what Betty meant to convey.
The Don and Betty shoving match made it clear that Betty acting physical toward Don is no threat — he's bigger and pushes back harder.
Which leaves Betty only with inanimate objects on which to work out her frustration and anger — emotionally satisfying for her (and us adult viewers), but in real life would be irresponsible in front her physically vulnerable children.
Nice catch, Deb!
This was my favorite Betty scene too — and a turning point in the season. It was a great little tableau of midcentury female rage.
I loved watching that scene months later, in a midnight viewing with my kid sister and her mother-in-law. I loved their silence as they watched perfect Betty go after that chair, with extreme prejudice, in full view of the kids, without mussing either her hair or her outfit.
I loved how both my sister and my friend discussed that scene with me later, in private. Their different points of view were striking.
My sister: "Her children were watching."
Her mother-in-law, who remembers those days, and has vivid memories of women like Betty and their lives: "I felt awful for her."
What I think I take from the two seasons' scenes is that — thanks in part to Betty's break — the Drapers are much more real to each other after the S2 party. There's no room for the nice anymore. Betty told Don what to fix for the hot plate, but as for the chair, she polished that wounded soldier off by herself, thank you very much. And the marriage is up for grabs.
This is tangentially related, but it does tie in to somehting I was thinking about.
Don is the absolute worst of the parents. Whereas Betty has emotional problems, is childish, etc., she still tries, living as a virtual single-parent mother. Ironically, Betty looked down on the divorcee when with the amount of time she and Don spend together, and of that, raising their kids, she might as well be alone too.
Don, however, becomes worse because he agrees with this line of thinking about Betty and her state of mind and yet he still abandons the kids to her.
judybrowni:
I think that's right. It struck me while watching "The Mountain King" again the chair-breaking scene and Betty's manipulation of Sara Beth are basically coming from the same impulse; she can't hurt Don the way she wants to, so she has to take that rage out on somebody (or something) more expendable, like a friend that she can cut ties with or the chair.
@hulla: "What amused me most about the whole scene is it took her about a million whacks to finally break the chair, despite her rage."
I actually love that aspect of it. You can see the buildup of Betty's rage and the process she has to go through in order to allow herself to actually express it, even if it's not taken out on its direct cause. Having been raised in a family with similar "act like everything's fine in public" instincts, I've often contemplated installing a punching bag for such chair-breaking moments.