Bless Me, Father…
for I have sinned. It’s been two weeks since my last confession.
This is how Peggy’s sister, Anita, begins her confession. She then admits to taking money at the laundromat and also taking the Lord’s name in vain. Anita then pauses, seems to ponder what she wants to say next, and then speaks again, hesitantly at first:
And I’m … I’m so angry, father … I’m so angry at my little sister. She’s causing my mother so much pain … She had a child out of wedlock. She seduced a married man. It’s a terrible sin, and she acts like it didn’t even happen. And I hate her for it. I feel so guilty about it … but everybody keeps falling all over themselves, trying to help her, and she goes on like nothing happened. Nothing at all.
So much there. In very few words a volume of subtext, pain, accusation, revenge, jealousy, and denial.
Anita stole. I’m not saying she pulled off a bank heist, or swiped money from a blind man’s tin cup, but it was stealing none-the-less. She chooses to twice use the word “took” rather than “stole.” It softens it, doesn’t it? I’m not blaming her, most of us would chose to distance ourselves from the coldest , most accusatory term.
But she pulled no punches when it came to Peggy. She not only laid out her sister’s sin in elaborate detail, she also made sure to portray her sister in the worst light. Possibly, she even deliberately misinterpreted events to make her sister look even more the sinner, but I believe there is another interpretation.
We don’t know what Peggy told her family, but I doubt it was that she seduced a married man. I imagine she mentioned the father was married, and Anita filled in the rest. The truth as we witnessed it is that Pete pursued Peggy without any initial encouragement on her part. She allowed him, a then engaged man, into her bedroom, and that can legitimately be laid down at her door, but she didn’t seduce a married man.
Even the later scene in Pete’s office wasn’t a seduction on Peggy’s part. Again, she quickly acquiesced to Pete’s proposition, perhaps even harbored fantasies about making love at work, but she was not the pursuer, but rather the pursued. Anita’s version of events has Peggy as some femme fatale, some destroyer of the covenant of marriage, a seductress stalking her prey, and we know that’s not the truth.
Anita, angry at Peggy, covetous of her sister’s freedom, might believe it to be true, but more than that she seems intent on Father Gil believing that to be the case. Peggy’s confession would be quite different, but he doesn’t have the benefit of knowing that, and because the words were said in the confessional he also has no reason to doubt Anita.
Why does Anita jump to that conclusion though? Presuming all she knows is that the father is married, and I can’t imagine Peggy saying much more, why does she assume that Peggy seduced Pete? Why not Pete seduced Peggy or, considering her sister’s distraught state, why not Pete forced himself on Peggy?
I say it’s because she isn’t kidding when she says she’s angry at her sister. In fact, she isn’t just angry, she’s fucking pissed. So pissed that she can’t imagine a scenario where her sister isn’t completely to blame. And if she’s to blame, she got off really lightly.
What about me, father? My troubles? What about me being good? For what?
Where’s my reward? I don’t seduce married men. I don’t come to church hungover. I take care of my children! What about me, father?
Father Gil tells her she’ll get her reward in heaven, but that’s cold comfort. He tells her that she loves her sister and she seems to reluctantly agree, but none of this fixes anything. He also tells Anita it’s not her place to judge her sister, even as he begins to judge Peggy.
And then Father Gil tells her that she should forgive her sister, because she isn’t as strong as Anita. People are analyzing the last scene a lot and wondering the priest’s intentions, but I think some of it is laid out here. He pronounced Peggy weak based on Anita’s interpretation of events. He mistakenly felt like he had the full story.
In light of that, handing Peggy an egg to give to her child doesn’t seem strictly benevolent. Perhaps it’s meant to be a kind act, because Jesus teaches to love the sinner even as you hate the sin, and because He frowns on the stoning of whores, but there seems to be little room for doubt that Father Gil judged her a sinner. But more than a sinner, because according to his faith she is as we all are, but also weak and wanton. He doesn’t seem to see her sin as having given into temptation, but being the one who tempted someone else away from the path of righteousness and then abandoned the child, the result, of her sins.
I believe that Anita’s resentment toward Peggy goes back long before the baby, but the catalyst, the reason for her confession which seemed awfully new for someone who’d confessed two weeks prior, was seeing her sister be singled out by Father Gil.
If there’s anything The Bible isn’t short on it’s parents playing favorites. And, often, the “P” in parent should be capitalized lest there be a stray bold of lightning. Anyone raised in the Catholic Church, especially in the time period of Mad Men, would consider a priest God’s earthly agent. To have his favor is to have His favor.
A father’s favor, God’s favor, is the stuff of evocative fiction. Ask John Steinbeck, if you have a Ouija Board, that is. The whole premise of East of Eden is how we are constantly living the story of Cain and Abel, not just in our religious lives, but within our family lives.
The character of Adam in East of Eden represents at different points in the novel Adam (duh!), Abel, and God. As a boy his father loves him best, prefers him to his brother, Charles, and loves his gifts best of all. (Although he gave his dad a puppy and what man in his right mind is anti-puppy?) As a young man he loves a deceitful woman who gives birth to two sons. And as an old man he prefers one son, Aaron, over another son, Caleb. And the cycle begins again until he gives his blessing to the less favored son.
From East of Eden:
“Two stories have haunted us and followed us from our beginning,” Samuel said. “We carry them with us like invisible tails — the story of original sin and the story of Cain and Abel.”
Anita’s issue with Peggy is chock full of both. Eve, the temptress, the seducer, the cause of The Great Fall, who would surely seduce a married man without a qualm. Abel, the one who found favor with God even though he wasn’t necessarily the better person.
The above scene from East of Eden has a character relate the Cain and Abel story, refreshing the reader and the other characters about the details, and another character points out that “No story has power, nor will it last, unless we feel in ourselves and true of us.”
Adam says that he doesn’t really understand the story, feels that Cain was treated poorly by God. He didn’t understand why both men gave what they had — Abel being a shepherd, gave a firstling of his flock, and Cain, being a farmer gave the fruit of the ground — but only one garnered God’s favor. Later on he forgets this moment of compassion and understanding, and shows favor to one child over another, even though both gave the best they had.
I can imagine that Cain’s anger felt righteous and good, just as Anita’s confession seemed righteous and good. Both of them gave their best only to see favor given to a sibling that they feel deserved it less.
And then there is Jesus’s story about The Prodigal Son. It’s a parable because we know the story isn’t literal, and that this is one of those times that the father in the story is, well, really Father. A man has two sons. One is a deadbeat who takes his inheritance and leaves home, maybe he initially gets a job in advertising, but eventually herds swine. Pigs are not kosher so the son has clearly hit rock bottom. He comes dragging home and his father celebrates his return. The good son, the loyal child, the non-swine herder, does his own rendition of what about me, father? My troubles? What about me being good? For what?
Anita is not an unsympathetic character. We follow Peggy around and we know her truth, our allegiance naturally goes to her, but Anita has a good point. She is the one who probably schleps mom to the doctor and the hairdresser and church. And now she’s raising Peggy’s kid and taking him to the doctor and getting up with him in the middle of the night and raising him. Peggy drops in once in a while, after the dinner dishes have been cleared, and if the prodigal had her way she would never even say goodnight to her child.
Their mother would kill the fatted calf for Peggy at a moment’s notice. And Father Gil likes her a lot. But Anita is giving the best that she has, her version of the fruit of the ground…
And it isn’t nearly good enough.
So she confesses her sins — swiping coins, taking the Lord’s name in vain, and being angry at her sister, whose sin is so much bigger than anything Anita has ever done. And the anger feels righteous and good, as does removing the blinders from the eyes of Father Gil.
From East of Eden:
Samuel said, “There’s an advantage to listening to the words. God did not condemn Cain at all. Even God can have a preference, can’t he? Let’s suppose God liked lamb better than vegetables. I think I do myself. Cain brought him a bunch of vegetables maybe. And God said, ‘I don’t like this. Try again. Bring me something I like and I’ll set you alongside your brother.’ But Cain got mad. His feelings were hurt. And when a man’s feelings are hurt he wants to strike at something, and Abel was in the way of his anger.”
Bless me, father, for I have sinned, but please see that my sister has sinned more. I took coins, but she stole a husband.
Why am I the only one being punished?
***
Speaking of Cain, he was the original hobo. The original outcast. And he carried a mark on his forehead, not to condemn him, but to protect him. Don relates to the hobo, the outsider. Don was the not the favored son, that was Adam. And his actions inadvertently lead to the death of his brother.
Just throwing that out there.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:40 am
As always, great post Ms. D.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:09 am
whoa. you blow my mind, MD. superb - need to read it another 3 times to offer anything coherent. great observations throughout.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Oh jeeze I went and transcribed the confession on another thread without looking at anything else. At least I saw the html works here.
I did notice that the final straw was the Father coming over with his sermon for Peggy to read. And earlier her mother was going on about how beautiful Peggy was. I wonder if Anita’s confession was a warning for the Father’s own good about her Jezabel sister penchant for taken men.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:00 am
As a post-Vatican 2 Catholic, this episode was very enlightining to me… it was my grandfather’s Church.
I still don’t know which way I come down on Father and the egg. Yes, there was certainly a hit of judgement, but also a sadness. Priests, even back then, are pretty amazing judges of character… they hear it all, oh lord, do they hear it all… so I do think Father Gil was more aware of what Anita was doing that he let on, as well as being aware at the sadness in Peggy.
I don’t think it’s so much that Peggy doesn’t love her child, but that it hurts too much to do so… and that pain is obvious on her.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:53 am
Fantastic job, Ms. Darkly! Brava!
I felt a lot of sympathy for Anita. It must be a total pain in the ass to take responsibility for someone else’s child, especially someone such as Peggy, who can act uppity at times. Anita trying to deal with her own brood and a husband with a jacked up back. That’s tough!
Also, as much as I like Peggy as a character, the pregnancy storyline, well, not so much. It was just too “Maury” for me!
August 19th, 2008 at 8:46 am
I think you hit Anita right on the mark. Being the oldest I’ve felt like she does before as well. I can imagine her feeling she gets away with having a kid, being hung over at church, not going to church and what now this priest thinks she’s the cats pajamas? One on-going thing she had over her sister was her allegiance to her faith.
I’m not sure about Father Gil though. I think it’s a stretch to interpret his comments to Anita at least as buying her story completely. As a priest who hears confessions I’m pretty sure he would have learned to separate the wheat from the chafe and recognize sibling jealously a mile away. After all you start hearing confessions from 7 year olds that has to be in each of their confessions. Also part of Anita’s penance is to forgive her sister. It’s important that he placed it here rather than during the confession part. She can’t be absolved of her sin of anger towards her sister until she forgives her. I actually thought it was extremely well played that he threw her the bone of “you’re stronger than she is.”
As for the egg scene, I actually think he was trying to reach out to Peggy to let her know there was someone she could talk to about it if she chose to interpret his comments that way. I think he’s treading a fine line of breaking the secrecy of confession. I don’t know I don’t interpret his actions as judging her but more as the attempt to open the door without saying too much. Maybe I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt b/c he reminds me so much of my religion teacher in middle school, Father Henry. I’d like to think for Peggy’s sake his story arc is to help her come to terms with what’s happened rather than any Thornbirds sort of scenario.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:35 am
For me, the confession has the same tone as Betty’s imploring Don to hit Bobby. Anita begged the Father to be a father, and to punish Peggy for her sins rather than showing her favor. Gil was being too soft on her in Anita’s eyes (we know from the scene where they meet with the two boys in the vestibule he can be a stern father, and from dinner we know that Gil is familiar with the frightening commotion of the entrances of the pope, the ultimate father figure [shit! dad's home!]). Gil’s egg hand-off meant that he was commencing to be a father to Peggy rather than a friend.
August 19th, 2008 at 9:58 am
Ms. D, this is an amazing post.
Bronkitis, I’m very impressed with the way you’re paralleling Anita and Betty.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:08 am
I agree with those who saw this as beautifully written and true to the confession experience–with one exception. In 1962, it would have been “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost,” not spirit. My mom, who would have been almost exactly Peggy’s age, still says it that way.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:18 am
latenac : I’m an oldest girl (yup Rufus is a girl) but there are 5 boys so I never felt the way Anita does but I know my brothers looked like they were going to kill each other all the time. I was just a referee. I always remembered my problems with forgiveness until it was explained to me that it means setting aside your resentments not condoning actions. I think that Anita loves her sister while at the same time wanting to give her a swift kick. Both Anita and Betty speak to what it’s like to be alone doing the actual raising of the children which has always been underappreciated.
Ms Darkly: Your post…Bravo
August 19th, 2008 at 11:12 am
**Where’s my reward? I don’t seduce married men. I don’t come to church hungover. I take care of my children! What about me, father?**
Maybe Father Gil should keep a jar of cookies in the confession booth…
August 19th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Ms. D., you’re mighty astute. I’m not sure if Anita was consciously trying to turn Father Gil against Peggy, but she certainly was trying either way. Big sister is becoming more sympathetic the more we learn about her. And yet her confession is really spiteful. It seems to me that her resentment is born out of frustration with her family in general, and that she focuses all of that on the person she sees treated as the “golden child”. She assumes the worst about Peggy’s behavior simply because Peggy can’t face the reality of her own motherhood.
Father Gil is absolutely right. Anita is the stronger sister. Peggy is more independent, but her facade is extremely thin and fragile. Pete saw that her confidence was a sham and took advantage of it. Peggy hides from her problems, she deflects blame. She drinks too much and ignores her responsibilities at home in favor of work where no one resents her (except maybe Don’s most recent secretary).
Side note: I’ve liked Audrey Wasilewski ever since her amazing guest role on Wonderfalls. Man, I wish that show had lasted longer.
August 19th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I don’t know though, about Peggy not being strong. She certainly has her vulnerabilities, but there is a core in her… her insistence on retaining her ethics and her character… this is what always appeals to me in Peggy. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I wish I could agree that Anita was the stronger sister. But I don’t think so. I feel that her “confession” to Father Gill proved that in her own way, she was just as “weak” as Peggy. I can understand her frustration that Peggy seemed to get away with a lot or seemed to be favored over her. But that confession . . . the spiteful and manipulative nature of it made it impossible for me to completely sympathize for her.
From what I can see, both of the Olson sisters harbor both strengths and weaknesses. But I cannot judge one of them stronger than the other.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Ooooh, Roberta - you totally stole my thunder for my “Not-so-live-blogging” post …
August 19th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Wonderful, Ms. Darkly!
One the great successes of Mad Men is that the characters cannot be judged from our contemporary point-of-view.
The authenticity of the show acts like a form of sense-memory on my psyche. I find myself remembering things that I had long forgotten about that era.
Anita is the classic dutiful abnegated woman of her time shackled by her role as mother, wife, daughter, sister, parishioner, etc.
For Anita, any woman who gives in to the advances of a man, despite the circumstance, is a seductress. “Man proposes, woman disposes.”
I work with high-functioning mentally disordered people, and the character of Peggy Olson seems like a classic case of borderline personality disorder. Her indifference to her child is chilling, but not at all out of character for someone like her. Sometimes there is “no there, there” and no deeper feeling. . It will be interesting to see when the story unravels and her child’s paternity comes to light whether Peggy plays herself out to be a victim of circumstance.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
The more I think about it, the more I see that Anita may have been trying to save Gil from Peggy’s evil - she really may believe that Peggy is a sociopath.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Coop, really? You were going with the Dirty Dancing quote? :- )
August 19th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Here’s the problem (as seen by one submarine Catholic): what’s said in the confessional is supposed to be between the penitant, the priest and God. It is not up to the priest to act on what he hears in the booth. Even if someone confesses to murder, you are not supposed to call the cops; you are supposed to urge the murderer to turn themselves in. At least that’s what they told us in catechism.
So by giving Peggy an egg for the little one, Father Colin Hanks broke the confidential nature of the confessional. At the very least, he could have taken Peggy aside and asked her more about her family situation, before jumping to conclusions. If she had volunteered the information, then he can dole out all the eggs he wants.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
**Oh jeeze I went and transcribed the confession on another thread without looking at anything else. At least I saw the html works here.
I did notice that the final straw was the Father coming over with his sermon for Peggy to read. And earlier her mother was going on about how beautiful Peggy was. I wonder if Anita’s confession was a warning for the Father’s own good about her Jezabel sister penchant for taken men.**
Hee, and the really funny part is you transcribe it for a discussion you were having with me.
In the other discussion I said that I’m not sure priests as sexual beings were on the radar, but your comment here helps me see this in a different light. Her confession absolved the “married man” of blame, and so I can see where she might have thought Peggy was out to corrupt a priest. Possibly.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Brenda that’s what bothered me about the scene as well (as someone born Catholic). If more of a point of showing both of them watching the little boy had been made first and then him handing the egg to her his comment might have been a little more ambiguous. But it seemed out of the blue and then he walked away so quickly. Made me feel sorry for Anita really.
I’m not sure Anita is the stronger of the two but she’s probably always had to be and was assumed to be the responsible older sister. There is something fragile and very house of cards like about Peggy that I shudder what she’ll do when the house she’s built falls.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Father Gil is absolutely right. Anita is the stronger sister. Peggy is more independent, but her facade is extremely thin and fragile. Pete saw that her confidence was a sham and took advantage of it. Peggy hides from her problems, she deflects blame. She drinks too much and ignores her responsibilities at home in favor of work where no one resents her (except maybe Don’s most recent secretary).
I completely disagree. I think Peggy has steel in her. She knows what she wants; she wants “things she hasn’t seen.” She doesn’t want a child. I am sure that she wanted to put the child up for adoption and Anita insisted on taking it herself. At no time, during her confession or otherwise, has Anita expressed resentment about raising Peggy’s child. She resents Peggy’s lack of consequences, her lack of religion, her carefree life, but the one thing she doesn’t say is “she stuck me with her kid.” Anita chose that kid.
And Peggy doesn’t have it easy at work. Far from it. She’s deeply resented as a woman in a man’s position. That’s what the Xerox is meant to show; and it reappeared this week with Peggy being the only woman allowed to eat first; the secretaries looked ready to devour her. Not only do the secretaries resent her for no longer being one of them, the men continue to treat her like a secretary, sending her to fetch ice or look for Don. Her position at Sterling Cooper is full of stress, but it’s the position she has chosen.
Fact is, there is nothing inherently pathological about not wanting a child, even one you’ve given birth to. It happens all the time and we pathologize it because we place motherhood on a pedastal.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Latenac:
**I’m not sure about Father Gil though. I think it’s a stretch to interpret his comments to Anita at least as buying her story completely. As a priest who hears confessions I’m pretty sure he would have learned to separate the wheat from the chafe and recognize sibling jealously a mile away. After all you start hearing confessions from 7 year olds that has to be in each of their confessions. Also part of Anita’s penance is to forgive her sister. It’s important that he placed it here rather than during the confession part. She can’t be absolved of her sin of anger towards her sister until she forgives her. I actually thought it was extremely well played that he threw her the bone of “you’re stronger than she is.”**
You make a strong point. I still think he bought most of it. Even when he puts aside sibling rivalry he hears that Peggy had sex with a married man, a child was the result, and she’s living her life as if it never happened. This alone might make him thing he misjudged her character and open him up to believing Anita is completely credible.
I know a lot of people are seeing the egg scene in a good light, and I’m not set on my interpretation, but right now I can’t get past what seems like an implied order to give the egg to the little one, to interact with the baby as the road to salvation. Not saying it wasn’t benevolent, but it doesn’t feel that way at the moment. I don’t doubt it was well-intentioned.
bronkitis:
**For me, the confession has the same tone as Betty’s imploring Don to hit Bobby. Anita begged the Father to be a father, and to punish Peggy for her sins rather than showing her favor. Gil was being too soft on her in Anita’s eyes (we know from the scene where they meet with the two boys in the vestibule he can be a stern father, and from dinner we know that Gil is familiar with the frightening commotion of the entrances of the pope, the ultimate father figure [shit! dad's home!]). Gil’s egg hand-off meant that he was commencing to be a father to Peggy rather than a friend.**
All kinds of awesome!
Robin:
**Ms. D., you’re mighty astute. I’m not sure if Anita was consciously trying to turn Father Gil against Peggy, but she certainly was trying either way. Big sister is becoming more sympathetic the more we learn about her. And yet her confession is really spiteful. It seems to me that her resentment is born out of frustration with her family in general, and that she focuses all of that on the person she sees treated as the “golden child”. She assumes the worst about Peggy’s behavior simply because Peggy can’t face the reality of her own motherhood.**
Thanks for pointing out “Anita” was on Wonderfalls. I think of her as the neighbor on Big Love, the one who wants a baby and can’t have one. Ironic.
Her confession was spiteful, but I don’t know if she entirely knows that. I mean, I think she does, but I believe she feels that she is so justified that she pushes the spite aside as her main motive.
Maybe. We’ll see.
I think she assumes the worst about Peggy because she’s had years of practice. Peggy rejecting her child probably just validates what she’s felt for a long time.
Rosie:
**I wish I could agree that Anita was the stronger sister. But I don’t think so. I feel that her “confession” to Father Gill proved that in her own way, she was just as “weak” as Peggy. I can understand her frustration that Peggy seemed to get away with a lot or seemed to be favored over her. But that confession . . . the spiteful and manipulative nature of it made it impossible for me to completely sympathize for her.
From what I can see, both of the Olson sisters harbor both strengths and weaknesses. But I cannot judge one of them stronger than the other.**
I largely agree on this. Fr. Gil pronouncing Anita stronger seems based on a judgment after hearing the confession rather than a truth. I know people are saying he said it to make Anita feel better, but he presumably believed it or he was, you know, breaking a commandment.
Peggy seems pretty steely at times. The denial of the pregnancy seems like a weakness, just like Scarlett O’Hara had a streak of weakness that showed up as denial, but that’s a little off-topic.
Brenda:
**Here’s the problem (as seen by one submarine Catholic): what’s said in the confessional is supposed to be between the penitant, the priest and God. It is not up to the priest to act on what he hears in the booth. Even if someone confesses to murder, you are not supposed to call the cops; you are supposed to urge the murderer to turn themselves in. At least that’s what they told us in catechism.
So by giving Peggy an egg for the little one, Father Colin Hanks broke the confidential nature of the confessional. At the very least, he could have taken Peggy aside and asked her more about her family situation, before jumping to conclusions. If she had volunteered the information, then he can dole out all the eggs he wants.**
I think that the modern day church makes some concessions to reporting crimes, but not sure.
Fr. Run-Forrest’s-Son-Run! seems to skirt the line — he didn’t actually say he knew she was the mother, he just implied it. I fall on the side of his being wrong in even doing as much as he did, because he betrayed Anita and acted on a very one-sided testimony.
Confession is like a box of chocolates… sorry, I’ll stop.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
**Fact is, there is nothing inherently pathological about not wanting a child, even one you’ve given birth to. It happens all the time and we pathologize it because we place motherhood on a pedastal.**
Absolutely. Some people shouldn’t be parents and there is a strength in realizing that. Or you can give up your modeling career, marry a philanderer, and emasculate your son at every opportunity.
Okay, I exaggerate, but the resentment that comes from unfulfilled dreams and every day disappointments is not something that feels good when directed toward a child.
Peggy wants something else. Elisabeth Moss makes clear that Peggy had ambitions from the first day. She could ignore a pregnancy because her longing was not for a child — she was single-mindedly focused on her job.
Either she gives the child up, which is what she most likely tried to do and in a sense did, or she raises the child, kisses at least some of her ambitions goodbye, and resents the hell out of the child.
In Peggy’s preferred scenario the child would have probably been taken far, far away and it was probably not her choice to have him kept in the family. So, now she wants to act like it never happened, and had the child been adopted out she could do just that with 50% less judgment from her nearests and dearests who make note of how often she acts the mother.
Peggy was denied the first, most important decision for her son — whether or not she was going to keep him, and now she’s judged for how she handles that decision being taken from her. It’s not like she opted to keep the child and is foisting him on relatives. At least that’s not what’s been implied.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Roberta - no, the parallel between what Anita said to Father Gil, and what Peggy said to Don in The Wheel.
The sisters are making similar arguments (16 mos apart) - each playing the role of victim.
August 19th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
From thread, but I thought it would ne more appropriate here:
**We’re back pre-Thornbirds and pre-”priest” being somewhat synonymous with “child toucher” in the minds of many peope. At this point they have great moral authority and I’m not sure that a priest as a sexual being was anywhere on the radar.
That’s not to say Fr. Gil wasn’t crushing on Pegs, just that the mind might not go there at that time.**
Good point. I was thinking that this storyline reminded me a bit of the little crush that Carmela had on Fr. Intintola back in season 1 of The Sopranos. Father Gil is young and handsome but totally unattainable, so he’s safe for the good married women to do a little projecting. Which maybe contributed to Anita’s jealousy at Peggy capturing his attention, even though Peggy herself didn’t realize that it was an unspoken competition.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
And Father Phil Intintola was played by … Paul Schulze (aka Hobo).
August 19th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I’ve come away from this episode feeling mad and sad. The Drapers kids are heading down the wrong paths. You have the girl who has already started drinking alcohol at a young age inititally setting the stage for her to turn into an alcoholic, surely the result of negligence on the part of the parents for teaching her and encouraging her to make mixed drinks for them both. I was and am still angry about their doing that, sheer neglect by both Don and Betty. The father either ignored or didn’t see that glass coming off the sofa when he picked up the sleeping girl who passed out from drinking the office booze. But the secretaries in the room noticed it and knew what was up both looking and wincing at each other. I can see where this is headed if this story line continues. By the way, I believe that both the Drapers are pathetic alcoholics. Did you see the amount of vodka that the girl put into Don’s drink with just about a tablespoon of Libby’s tomato juice? He drinks it without even saying to her that she put too much liquor in the glass. Hell, I’m am sure he’d have drank the whole 8 ounce glass full of vodka, he drinks his other alcohol straight .
And, there’s the boy, who is desperately trying to get attention from his parents by doing bad acts. But c’mon, the kid cannot play with a toy at the table without Betty going ballistic? Of course, she’s just pissed really about being a housewife and isn’t modelling, so she takes out her frustration on the children, especially the boy blaming him for stuff, like when everyone was jumping on the bed, so he does and it breaks. Betty blames him for this. Draper is the parent who is giving the kids all the love, love he didn’t receive as a child. Boy, the first time I see him hit those kids cause Betty insists on it, I’m going to scream. Thank God that the story so far shows that Don is showing restraint and not getting physical with the kids. This story doesn’t need to include any violent child abuse. The neglet is bad enough.
And what’s up with Sterling? he appears to be on the road to another heart attack and this time it will be in the arms of a prostitute. That guy is a loser and gives me the creeps. What was redeeming in this episode is the fact that God is coming back into Peggy’s life. Maybe we’ll see her actually do the right thing and start to claim her child. It’s long overdue. The child is already walking and she has not presented herself to him as his Mom. This part of the story hasn’t made much sense to me. How can a Mother completely ignore her own child especially when he is being raised in her family home? I could understand if she was on crack or something Maybe the Father will put some sense into her stupid brain and heartless soul. As you can see, I’m not a fan of this woman.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I felt sorry for Bobby this episode. Betty could have stopped him from bringing the damn robot to the table in the first place. At least that’s what I would have done if I didn’t want him to have the temptation of playing with it while we were eating.
As for the girl, I know I tried my dad’s beer when I got to learn how to pour it for him. My husband tried his grandmother’s martini’s etc. I think if we see her drinking more then maybe it’s cause for alarm. But keep in mind it was also late when he came to get her to take her home. It wasn’t necessarily that she downed a fifth of whiskey and passed out. I thought Joan looked more pissed from the “Thanks for babysitting” comment to be honest.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
As we say in Jersey, shirlgirl, not for nuthin’, but it’s possible that one of the over-arching themes of the show might be escaping your sights.
The series is so concretely set in the past that it forces us to view it through a very long lense (or prism, I’m not sure which is more accurate). We’re not so much watching the characters to root for their salvation, or whether their moral compass aligns with our own. Rather, we’re observing people that may or may not learn lessons so quickly.
A character like Roger Sterling, for instance, has a very deep backstory - a prelude to his actions - that informs us why he does the things he does. Right or wrong is insignificant. I don’t think there’s any debate about whether he’s leading a moral life, but that’s not why his character exists. It exists because the show is so artfully able to reveal that backstory, and shed light on his behavior.
As the show’s creator, Matt Weiner, says, people do things for a reason. We fans like the show because it focuses as much on the reason as the actions.
Food for thought?
August 19th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Speaking of the alcohol usage, I noticed that Betty pushed her wineglass towards Don when he told her about his hard day. Was wine at dinner a common thing at the time for WASP-types or is it just Betty slipping into dependence? I’m from a Baptist background where my relatives don’t even serve wine at Christmas or Thanksgiving and look askance at alcohol in general (which is a whole nother level of weirdness), but fortunately some of my best frends are Catholics (no offense).
August 19th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
My ILs were almost married at that time and in the Peace Corps together than the foreign service, to this day they still have a drink before they start making dinner (if it’s a quick dinner if not then while it’s cooking) and then wine or beer with dinner. For special occasions after dinner drinks come out.
I know when I worked for beverage alcohol magazines there were trend studies showing the dramatic decline in hard alcohol consumption from the 50s to the 90s. So no I don’t think it was dependence as much as something that was done.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
They weren’t almost married in 1962, sorry. I meant more they came of age in that time period. And maybe being in the foreign service has something to do with their drinking habits but it seems like a very done ritual and it doesn’t mean Betty doesn’t have a problem. Or Don for that matter. Sometimes I almost feel like I’m watching The Thin Man or something. “So wait they’re drinking non-stop AND they solve a murder mystery?” or for Mad Men “So wait they’re drinking non-stop AND they manage to run an ad agency?”
August 19th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I believe we have watched Betty’s alcohol use pick up. I think at Red in the Face was when she started having wine with dinner, to fancy it up because the boss was coming, and Betty remarked “I liked the wine.” The next episode Francine remarks on Betty drinking wine during the day, to “test it” for a party or something, and it’s kind of like she’s not used to seeing Betty do that, and ever since then, we see Betty drinking wine before Don comes home.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Good eye, Deb.
August 19th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Love the Thin Man comment.
I used to totally glom my mother’s creme da cocao (spelling?) and milk. C’mon, it was yummy. She didn’t encourage it at all, but laughed one time when she reached for her glass to find it empty, because I’d been so stealthy.
Contrary to what one might thing since I was drinking wine during the live blog, I’m not a big drinker. I’ll have a drink at a restaurant or at a friend’s house and maybe 2-3 drinks on the weekends, but alcohol is not one of my vices.
Or smoking although I grew up with heavy smokers.
So, Sally’s drinking might be significant, might just be an example of her getting into mischief when unsupervised, or it might be the latter now and then the writers decided down the line to make it be more significant.
Kinda like Vampire Willow being labeled as “kinda gay” as a throw away joke, but then Non-vampire Willow became quite gay a couple years later.
***
I think judging characters is natural, and part of the fun, but I think it’s even more fun to try to understand them. This whole thread is built on saying, “Hey, Anita was kinda witchy, but she has a valid point. Her anger makes sense.” If the show had been framed differently, with Anita as a main character, and Peggy as the secondary character we’d probably view their actions differently.
There’s nothing wrong with saying that Roger is just pathetic, frankly I lean in that direction, but it’s a richer experience to view his actions in the context of the times and remember when he showed the odd redeeming quality. He had a moment of realization after his first heart attack, his love for his wife and daughter was pure at that moment, and so even as he cheats again he becomes more than an ordinary sinner — if you allow him to be.
Don’t mind me though, I’ve never met a misunderstood bad girl on a soap opera that I didn’t root for.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I cannot find it in myself to sympathize with Roger, but I am enormously entertained by his wit.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Yes, the smug entitlement can be hard to watch and there’s one usually one moment per edisode where I want to smack him. I never found his goodbye speech to Joan to be charming either.
I still make a token attempt to “get” him though.
August 19th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
As much as I get a kick out of John Slattery as an actor, that Sterling character gets on my last nerve! I wanna punch Roger most of the time!
August 19th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
@B, Cooper
As the show’s creator, Matt Weiner, says, people do things for a reason. We fans like the show because it focuses as much on the reason as the actions.
“The one most frightening thing in this world is that everyone has his reasons.”
- Jean Renoir, The Rules of the Game (1939)
August 19th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Remember Bewitched? They were always drinking. I never thought much about it when I was a kid watching the show, but I remember seeing a rerun once after I became an adult, and was shocked by how much they drank. You can check out some of the earlier episodes on Hulu, although I think most of the drinking showed up in the later episodes, after the show was broadcast in color. ( http://www.hulu.com/bewitched ) Betty does look a lot like Samantha Stephens, though.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Ha! On Hulu there’s even one episode where the Stephens go to a hotel to spice things up, and Samantha donsa dark wig to be more intriguing to Darrin. Betty should take notes. http://www.hulu.com/watch/11050/bewitched-that-was-my-wife#x-0,vepisode,1
August 19th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
Great reference from a great movie, Mel.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Great post, Ms. Darkly. And I totally, 100% agree with your thoughts on motherhood. The other thing I wonder is: doesn’t the connection that the man and woman have bear on the way a mother might look at the fruit of that union? I can’t see how it doesn’t because when you look at the kid, you also confront where the kid came from, but I don’t have children myself. It seems to me that the whole episode with Pete ended up being humiliating for Peggy. I don’t mean the pregnancy. I mean the fact that he kept playing with her feelings; one day acting like he couldn’t get enough of her, the next day treating her coldly or downright sadistic. Pete was constantly playing with Peggy’s concept of her own desirability and I’ve never gotten the sense that she was too sure of herself in that regard.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Peggy has never asked to parent this child. There is no indication that she wouldn’t have done right by the child, which could very well be adoption, but she doesn’t seem to have been given the choice.
So her current obligation to the child is not the same as if she’d opted to be a parent in a way other than biology. It’s not like she is neglecting a child that she made a committment to raise, which would put Fr. Gill much more in the right, and it’s not like she’s left the child without someone to care for him.
There is no indication he is being treated poorly and I would hazard a guess that Anita is a good mom. Peggy doesn’t need to be a mother to him and it’s only the fact that her family kept him that makes this even an issue.
Maternal instinct is a real thing, but it can be short-circuited and some people don’t have it at all. I believe it’s the former with Peggy, which means her feelings might change in the future, but there is no gain in making someone parent a child if that bond is not there.
The world would be a better place if we could rid society of the notion that women are naturally loving to their kids and that there is something wrong with someone opting not to be a parent. Once it becomes a valid choice to admit that not everybody is cut out for the task it will save a lot of pain.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
@B. Cooper
Great reference from a great movie, Mel.
And, as I think about it, very much like Mad Men in content and approach. Both Rules Of The Game and Mad Men offer a tragi-comic picture of an entire society breaking down, with most of its denizens too busy pursuing their own ends to realize that that’s what’s happening. In both, the creators don’t judge the characters: All are innocent, all are guilty. They all have their reasons.
August 19th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
As a priest in the Episcopal Church I would have to agree with at least one of the comments above concerning the confidentiality of the confessional. It was inappropriate for the priest to make any reference to Peggy’s child if his knowledge of him was based on Anita’s confession. If Peggy had confessed it he still should not have made any reference to the child. A confession is not to be publicly referred to again. If he heard that Peggy had a child through the grapevine that’s a different story. It was also inappropriate, and I think unlikely, that he gave her a ride in his car. The handing of the egg is ambiguous. If he heard of the child through parish gossip I take the giving of the egg as a sympathetic gesture to acknowledge that he knows about the child and though he may think it is a sin, he’s still on her side and that she can acknowledge her son too.
August 19th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Great insight, CP.
August 19th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Sally Drapper has grown up seeing her parents drink. She sees a little bit of a drink, a swallow in a glass, and drinks it. She’s not a future alcholic, she’s a curious girl. I thought it was a cute moment.
August 20th, 2008 at 12:40 am
I have a friend in AA, and she says every single meeting someone is telling a story like Sally’s, of being taught how to mix drinks, of sipping off the leftovers of people’s drinks at parties, and so on. She finds these scenes quite disturbing.
August 20th, 2008 at 1:31 am
CP–I wonder about the parish grapevine. Somebody upthread observed that the baby must have been an open secret in the ‘hood, with Anita suddenly turning up with a new baby after not being pregnant, and with Peggy not being anywhere to be seen for several months. It may also have been that the family went to the priest when they found out about Peggy being in the hospital, for back then babies had to be baptized right away or they might end up in Limbo.
He was clumsy in the way he brought it up, but I wouldn’t infer that his knowledge was only through the confessional–he sounded pretty weary when Anita confessed, like he was waiting for something like this to bubble up out of either mom or sis.
I’ve been repeating myself ad nauseum about Gil’s revelation that he enjoyed the guitar plus his informal grace–he’s going to be one of those folk Mass priests when Vatican II comes down. He’s already itching to get out of that long dress and into some sandals and a dashiki; he just doesn’t know it yet.
August 20th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I didn’t mean to imply that Peggy not wanting her son was unnatural. I completely understand her reasons for that. (Heck, I’m not sure if I want children myself and I’m a few years older than she is.) It’s the self-delusion and emotional disconnection that his existence has caused her to develop that worry me. On the rare occasions when she actually looks at the kid, her expression is so cold and distant. It reminds me a little bit of Dexter, in some ways. Not that I think she kills people, you understand, just that she doesn’t seem to feel anything for him other than a vague sense of obligation forced on her by her family.
I agree that it probably would’ve been healthier for her, mentally, if she had been allowed to give the baby up for adoption and not think about him anymore.
“Thanks for pointing out “Anita” was on Wonderfalls.
No problem.
I’m such a nerd that way.
Speaking of which, I completely forgot to mention that “Vicky” was played by Marguerite Moreau, one of my girlhood heroes from the Mighty Ducks movies. (At least, I’m pretty sure that’s her. IMDb doesn’t list the character at all.)
*****
Entirely off topic, but irresistible to the Whedonite: “Kinda like Vampire Willow being labeled as “kinda gay” as a throw away joke, but then Non-vampire Willow became quite gay a couple years later.”
Joss knew either Willow or Xander was going to discover they were gay during season 4, but he hadn’t decided yet when they made ‘Doppelganger’ (in season 3). The running gag of “Is Xander gay (too)?” started with Larry in the locker room and continued all the way through the end of the series, mostly utilizing Spike and Andrew. [/fangirl]
August 20th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I don’t know if in this series we will see the Draper daughter as a teenager, but I’m willing to bet that if we do, she will be a heavy drinker and have problems. There’s a thread beginning here that shows alcohol usage and preparation by this young child and yes, I know personally that rehabs are full of people who say that’s how they got started. But, you can’t really blame the daughter. The parents aren’t really rearing these children well. Did you notice how the camera zoomed in on the daughter pouring Don’s drink with mostly vodka which to me signalled that she was fixated on the the alcohol rather than the juice. But, I agree, back in those days, parents didn’t relate to the fact that their drinking might influence their kids.
August 20th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Robin,
Yep, I’ve read that about making someone gay. But the lines could be either throwaway or significant, depending, as they turned out to be for Xander.
I think it’s time for Joss to make the boy the gay one. Not Andrew heavily implied gay, but out and about gay.
Anyhow, with Sally, they can either pick up the drinking thread or let it go. At the end of the series, if Sally is never a heavy drinker, nobody will see this as an unfulfilled plot line, because it didn’t have that much weight. If they do pick it up then the viewer will see it as having been foreshadowing.
August 20th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
As long as we’re geeking out, Roberta pointed out that Anita is the Trekker on West Wing that got reprimanded by Josh for wearing a Star Trek pin to work.
August 20th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
I’m joining all these threads late — just watched the episode for the first time last night. This summer’s medical adventure has arrived.
This Monday was bad; next week will be worse. I have been promised.
Deb — great post (#22). You’re right: there is nothing pathological about not wanting a child. Or about changing your mind, once you have one. The beauty of my role in the lives of my stepkids is that it has gotten to expand as their mom’s role has changed. We all change as we get older. We might get more interested in some things (like work), and less interested in others.
Sometimes, a woman’s interest in being a constant presence in the daily lives of her children does change. This has been a huge benefit for me.
If we women can see each other as people who continue to grow and change, long after we have children — see each other without judgment, I guess I’m saying — I think our existence together will be a lot easier. For us and our kids.
As for growing up around things like alcohol use: I think I can speak a little to that. I was a kid with a lot of adult responsibilities, and I remember bringing my dad a beer shandy (beer + lemonade), one day in the backyard. I might have been — what, eight? Nine?
I overdid it with the beer. There was a lot more of that than lemonade, because my siblings (I have a lot of them) had pretty much polished it off. So I filled the glass with mostly beer, thinking, Heck, it’s Dad: he won’t mind.
The drink wasn’t to his taste. I could see it on his face with the first sip. But he’s a nice guy, so he didn’t tell me. “Fine,” he said. “It’s fine.”
Now, I have maybe two drinks a week (three to four if I’m on vacation). I grew up in the Seventies, surrounded by drinking adults. And obviously, I was a little worker, and I knew how to make cocktails. Kids still had to be neither seen nor heard in my era — but we had to be useful, for sure.
So, will Sally Draper grow up to be an alcoholic? I side with Don on this one. Nobody knows why anyone does anything. Least of all me.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I was thinking that if you survey an AA group, you’re going to get a percentage of people who were taught to mix drinks as kids, maybe a high percentage, and that’ll feel like one leads to the other.
But it doesn’t say anything about what a control group of non-alcoholics would say about mixing drinks as kids, if the percentage is higher or lower. I don’t have an answer for that.
August 21st, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I think Sally would be in her late teens assuming the pattern keeps up (seasons taking place in even years with a year in between). I think Sally would be about 16-18 when the series ends.
August 21st, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Here is what I think about Sally and the drinking.
I don’t for one minute think that we are setting up a teenage alcoholic storyline. I think, as Glass said upthread (comment 36), we are perhaps allowing for one at some time in the future, but as has been pretty much covered in this discussion, it could go either way.
I think Weiner was showing us two things. (Probably more, but I’m going with two.) One is, the cavalier attitude towards alcohol. Children didn’t drink because they were children, but they were not kept away from alcohol, because alcohol was not considered a bad thing. As rampant as drinking still is today (and probably always will be), it is held in a different light. Sally pouring drinks and being able to sneak drinks is just one more example of how different it was then, like drinking in the office or everyfreakingwhere and anyfreakingtime.
The other is that this is another example of how unprotected the kids are, and in particular, how little attention Don pays to them. The way he walked past Sally as the Creative department paraded into his office was frankly chilling. He seems to be bonding more with Bobby, and I hope that’s not a direction that they’re taking this (Don not being as loving a father to Sally as he is to Bobby) because I just don’t want to see that, even in the hands of these writers. But it was Bobby that he went to last season, Bobby he woke up and said Ask me anything.
August 22nd, 2008 at 12:27 am
Oh we all snuck drinks in the morning–not because of the booze but because of the GINGER ALE!! WOW!! POP!! Nobody ever let kids have pop because it was expensive. It was purchased for mixers only.
About Peggy–I really don’t think anybody born after 1950, maybe even anybody born during the official “baby boom” can understand how crappy her situation was. Competent young women of legal age routinely got overruled in favor of parents or married older siblings. You weren’t really considered a competent adult until you were married and even then you were subordinate to your husband.
I believe her confidentiality (by our standards) in the hospital was violated–some nurse called her family and said your sister/daughter is here and she just had a baby come deal with it–and then the family rushed in and the doctors decided they were the ones with decision making authority since obviously showing up in the ER in labor is a sign you may not be playing with a full deck.
So she’s screwed–that baby would have been surrendered for an adoption except for her family. So she is angry at her family and angry at herself and trapped and if she were a little braver she should move to San Francisco or LA and start over. I wonder if that’s what will happen with her.
August 23rd, 2008 at 12:26 am
I’m coming to the post late, but just wanted to add that in addition to Cain and Abel, the Biblical story that seemed most apropos to the Peggy/Anita conflict is the story of Mary and Martha (which appears in both Luke and John). In that story, Jesus rebukes Martha for complaining about her sister shiriking her duty; he tells the complaining Martha that Mary “has chosen wisely,” or some such thing.
Now Mary had chosen to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn and Peggy has chosen to leave her child with her sister and pursue a glamorous life in Manhattan, so I realize that the parallels end at some point. But I do wonder how the Father Gil story is going to progress and whether, if he ends up on the receiving end of Anita’s complaints, or if he simply gets more information, if he might feel like Mary/Peggy really did make the right choice.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I am coming to this post really, really late. I just discovered this excellent blog and I am playing catch up on Mad Men with On Demand.
I just wanted to post a comment from the perspective of a practicing traditional Catholic.
The fact that Anita is going to confession would not have seemed unusual for the time. Monthly confession is recommended and weekly confession is not out of the question - all the more so in 1962. Catholics of today don’t go to confession nearly as often - but then there would have been lines at the confessionals every week.
Anita confessing her sisters sins is a common thing. Every guide to confession you read says not to do it - and every priest I know says that it’s common. I know I have done it myself.
I think in addition to the ‘why is it that I am good but everyone loves my sister theme’ there is something else. The fact that this shows that Peggy is envied everywhere she goes. At work because she made it out of the secretarial pool, and at home because she is escaping the path of a ‘good’ girl (marriage and caring for parents and children).
Anita said out loud what Joan never would - ‘Why does this little nothing of a girl get everything when I have been working here for years and get nothing.’
A word about confession. Fr. Gill breaking the seal of confession was shocking to me. Seriously shocking. I don’t think that a priest in 1962 would have driven her alone in his car… but I KNOW he would not have broken the seal of confession in that way. Someone earlier wrote they thought the Church had changed it’s stance on the seal of confession - that is NOT true. A Catholic priest can not reveal the contents of confession (or even if someone went to confession) under any circumstances.
As a Catholic I find the portrayal of Catholicism in 1962 to be fascinating. Some details have been perfect (Can you say *real* grace now Father) and some have been wrong (Mass is not the repetition of the same prayer in Latin again and again). The time period and the inclusion of a Catholic character leaves lots of openings for story arcs with the transitions in the Church in the 60s.